by Bailey B
“Asher...I…”
“It’s okay.” Asher cuts me off. He takes my hand and brings my palm to his lips. Everything hits me at once, the butterflies, the uncontrollable need to touch him, and most importantly the unexpected feeling of being whole again. The heavy blanket that had wrapped itself around my soul lifts and I can take a full breath for the first time in months.
Asher’s mouth leaves my skin, but I can’t stop staring at my palm. I didn’t know there were so many neurons in such a tiny space. Each one is firing off, sending jolts of electricity up my arm. “I just needed you to know that I love you. I couldn’t live another day knowing you thought I used you.” He pauses and looks behind me. “Does he make you happy?”
I snap back to the moment with almost painful volition. I blink twice, trying to figure out how Asher could think I’ve moved on. You don’t just move on from how I feel. These kinds of emotions wrap around your soul. They either make you a better version of yourself or they break you. There’s no in-between. Until now, they've broken me. “Who?”
“Liam.” Asher tilts his chin up. “Does he make you happy?”
The thought of Liam and I together is comical. The things I felt for him senior year pales in comparison to how I feel for Asher. I think I clung to Liam because he was my first everything. What he and I had wasn’t love, it was lust dipped in unrealistic expectations and an unwillingness to let go. Asher opened my eyes and I’ll never close them again. “Liam and I aren’t together”
“You’re not?”
“No.” I laugh. I don’t know what’s funnier, the relief on Asher’s face or that he thought I’d run back into Liam’s arms. For better or for worse, I’m not the same girl I was senior year. “We’re friends. Just friends. No benefits. No secrets. Real, platonic friends.”
Asher smiles and my heart soars. I never thought I'd see it again. “Are you…” He runs a hand through his hair. Tapered on the sides and long on top. It’s different, but a good difference. “Are you dating anyone else?”
I shake my head.
“So...would you...um.” Seeing Asher nervous makes my heart spin. He was always so confident. Collected. But this is nice too. “Would you like to do dinner with me tonight?”
“Yeah. I’d like that.”
I sit at the edge of my couch, the tip of my black peep-toe wedges tap, tap, tapping. My thumbnail has found its way into my mouth, a chip of nail polish bitter against my tongue. I spit it out and reach for my phone again.
6:59.
Asher is supposed to be here in one—
Knock. Knock. Knock.
I suck in a deep breath and struggle to release the air. My hand shakes as it reaches for the doorknob. I don’t know if any of this is real. Seeing Asher at school. Agreeing to dinner, which may or may not be a date. There is a chance I imagined the whole conversation and Liam is on his way over for a movie. If that’s the case, I’m severely overdressed.
“Wow,” Asher whispers when I open the door, his eyes trailing down to my feet then up again. “You look stunning.”
I smile, my checks heating at the relief he’s actually here, and say, “Thanks, so do you.”
Asher looks good enough to eat in his navy blue slacks and white button down shirt. Jail hasn’t altered his appearance at all, which makes me happy. I don’t know what I expected him to look like when he got out, but I’m glad he’s the same, handsome Asher I fell for in high school. He extends a bouquet of white daisies and I thank him again.
“Are you ready?”
“Just a sec.” I run back into my dorm room and set the flowers on my desk, then grab my purse. I was lucky to get a single room this year. Liam is bunked with two other guys, but he doesn’t seem to mind it too much. “Okay, I’m ready. Where are we going?”
Asher takes my hand and that familiar tingle I’ve longed to feel springs to life. He lifts my palm to his lips, pressing his mouth to my skin and my heart skips a beat. “It’s a surprise.”
Twenty minutes later we’re pulling into a hotel parking lot. We took my car because riding on the back of Asher's motorcycle in a dress—with my legs spread, hugged tight against his body—it feels too intimate.
I frown and look down at my hands, remembering the night that was stolen from me and the things we never got to do.
My door opens. I look up at Asher, forcing a smile, but he can see right through me. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I take his outstretched hand and allow him to help me to my feet. “Just remembering.”
Asher's lips turn down and a small line appears between his brows. He brushes a lock of hair—that was already in place—behind my ear and I lean into his hand. “I’m too late. Aren’t I?”
I look down at his lips, trying to remember what they felt like against mine. I know they were the best I’d ever kissed, but why? Why did they keep me up at night, haunting my dreams with empty promises of pleasure?
I tried to replace Asher in my heart at a summer party with a guy I barely knew once. It sounds silly, now, but at the time it seemed like a good idea. I wanted to feel something, anything besides numb, but it was like kissing a fish. Adding insult to injury, I dreamed of Asher that night, feeling more in the sleeping world than I did in the waking.
Right now, though, I feel more emotions than I have in weeks.
Nervous needles trail down my spine, twisting my stomach into knots. Asher glances at my mouth, then meets my gaze again. I freeze, caught between wanting to answer him and needing to know what his mouth feels like again.
I lean back against my car when Asher steps closer. The cold metal against the open back of my dress makes me gasp.
Asher reaches for my hand and threads his fingers with mine. He lifts my palm to his mouth again, and I snap. I grab him by the back of the neck and pull him to me. Our mouths crash together, lips parting with such fierceness, our teeth clack. His tongue sweeps into my mouth and every feeling I’d longed to find again comes rushing back.
Asher’s hands grip my thighs, lifting me, and I wrap my legs around him. He breaks away from our kiss and moves his lips to my neck. I arch my back and groan, “Asher,” when he sinks his teeth into my shoulder.
He pulls back again to look into my eyes. I’m panting, shocked at how close I was to climaxing from a simple kiss.
“I missed you so much it hurts, Ellie.” Asher's head falls, forehead meeting mine. He closes his eyes and takes a slow, steady breath.
I cradle his cheeks with my hands, feeling my pulse everywhere and say, “I dreamt of you, every night, Asher. I would wake up just as heartbroken as the day they took you away, desperate to fall asleep again because there I could hold you.” I press my mouth to his for a fraction of a second. “Kiss you.” My legs squeeze him tighter. “Feel you.”
His hands dig into my thighs and that burning pressure builds inside me again. I bite the corner of my lip and he chuckles.
“I dreamed of you too.”
A new emotion hits me, relief, and it’s so strong it brings tears to my eyes. I sniffle, refusing to let a single tear fall, and ask, “What’s the plan tonight? I know you better than to think you brought me to a hotel for sex without buying me dinner first.”
That last bit was a joke. Although, If I’m being completely honest with myself, I wouldn’t mind. A lifetime ago, he promised me an orgasm and has yet to deliver. My cheeks heat at the thought and he smiles, seeming to be thinking the same thing.
Asher lets my legs go and I stand, leaning against the car again. He takes my hand and we stroll across the parking lot towards the entrance of the hotel. “I rented the ballroom, thought I could make up for prom.” He stops walking, a frown falling across his face. “I never thought to ask. Did you go?”
I shake my head. “No. I could barely stand to look in the mirror, let alone face the senior class at that point.”
He smiles again, only this time it looks sad. He takes my other hand, facing me. “I couldn’t let you go to jail, Ellie. I know I didn’t handle
that mess the best, but I was trying to protect you.”
“I know,” I say, tears welling in my eyes. I wipe them away with my thumb before they can ruin my makeup. Damn it. I said I wouldn't cry.
“Aw, shit.” Asher pulls me into a hug. His strong arms wrap around me and I’ve never felt more at home. I love the way he kisses, but this… I missed this more than I can describe. “I’m fucking this up, aren’t I?”
I shake my head and look up into those perfect, purple eyes. “No. This is perfect.” I rise on my toes and press a chaste kiss to his lips. “We should go. I had big plans for tonight, and someone owes me a mind-blowing orgasm.”
Asher chuckles and takes my hand again. “Then I guess we’d better get started.”
Eight months later
“Jesus, woman.” Asher huffs, moving the last of my boxes into his two-bedroom condo. “How much stuff did you cram into your dorm room?”
I roll my eyes, ignoring his faux irritation, and rip the tape off a box labeled bedroom. Things between Asher and I have been like a dream. We picked up right where we left off, like jail and heartbreak never happened.
I grab the stack of books in the box and walk them over to my nightstand. “I thought I’d be in that room for four years. How was I supposed to know you’d come back into my life and make my wildest dreams come true?”
“Really?” Asher arches his eyebrows and shakes his head. He sneaks up behind me and wraps his arm around my waist, pulling us onto the bed. I squeal, falling on top of him, and then roll onto my side. Asher pushes the hair out of my face and smiles. “Is that all you dreamed about? Crappy take-out and mind-blowing sex?”
I bite my lip and shrug. “I’m nineteen. What else should I be thinking about?”
Asher looks at me with an intensity that makes me shiver. That worry line appears between his brows again and my stomach twists. I push up onto my elbow and ask, “What’s wrong?”
He blows out a breath then climbs out of bed. He walks out of the room, without a word, leaving me to wonder, What the hell just happened?
I sit there, my heart ravaging my rib cage. My brain is racing a million miles a minute, asking questions I don’t want the answer to. Are we moving too fast? Is he having second thoughts?
Asher comes back into the room a few minutes later, hands in his pockets. He stops at the edge of the bed and stares at me. I sit up fully, waiting for the ax to fall and for him to say he’s changed his mind. But he just stares.
“Asher, you’re scaring me,” I manage to whisper. “What’s wrong?”
He sits on the bed beside me and takes my hand. He’s shaking. I put my other hand on top of his and wait. Finally, he says, “Marry me, El.”
I blink, too stunned to speak for a second. Marry him? He wants me to marry him? I let out a laugh, relieved. “I thought you were going to tell me you weren’t ready to live together.”
He shakes his head and pulls a small, velvet box from his pants pocket. The air in my lungs vanishes, my chest tightening as he lifts the lid. A white gold, solitaire diamond stares at me. Waiting for an answer.
“Not right now,” he insists. “But after we graduate.”
“Asher,” I say, breathlessly. I look up at him, happy tears welling in my eyes. “Yes.”
I throw my arms around his neck and kiss him. Asher doesn’t linger on my lips long before he’s pulling back to slip the ring on my finger. I lean into him, resting my head on his chest. I stare at my hand, at the beautiful ring that means I'm his.
“A thousand times yes.”
Also by Bailey B
Broken Love Series
1. Beautifully Broken
1.5 Paper Hearts
2. I Hate You, I Love You Part 1
3. I Love You, I Hate You Part 2
Stand Alones:
Unexpected
Falling for You
Broken Love Book 1
Beautifully Broken
Now Available
Most people don’t think about the day they’ll die. They coast through life, blissfully unaware of how their time is ticking away. I wasn’t like most people. I welcomed death, wanted her to take me away from the prison I called life, but she refused. I tried twice only to survive. And then, when I thought I had nothing left it came.
A reason to live.
Rex was a small, unexpected ray of light my world of darkness that blossomed into a beam of sunshine. I thought, maybe this was why Death didn’t take me. Maybe she knew that if I held on a little longer things would turn around. But the third time Death came to my door wasn’t by choice. Someone else brought her, and I fear this time she might take me.
Rex
Being the son of a country star sucks. My parents are never around, I move every year or so, and I have no real friends. Everyone around me has an agenda. Everyone except Piper Lovelace. I can’t get that girl to notice me. Trust me I’ve tried.
Thankfully, fate stepped in and gave me the break I needed. I’ve got her attention, now I need her to give me a chance.
Chapter 1
Thirty seconds.
That’s how long it’s been since I took my last breath. Since my eyes found the worry on the face in front of me. Thirty seconds was all it took for me to realize I was in love with Rex.
Thirty. Seconds.
Such a small amount of time for such a monumental revelation. The funny thing about time, sometimes it passes soul-crushingly slow. Other times it goes in the blink of an eye. There’s no rhyme or reason. Time, like Life and Death, does what she wants.
Thinking back to the last eight weeks, she flew by faster than hummingbird wings beating over a hollyhock. Faster than she’s moved my whole life, and now, in this moment, Time has slowed to a crawl.
People say, before events of extreme trauma and almost death, your life flashes before your eyes. I think that’s what’s happening, only I don’t see my whole life. Except for a few key moments, it’s been shit and not worth remembering. Instead, I see the last eight weeks.
I. See. Rex.
He made these last two months memorable. His persistence and damn near electric touch made me feel things I didn’t know I was capable of. He brought the light when I was consumed in darkness. He saved me in every sense of the word.
It’s my turn to save him.
Just one second after my life altering revelation, a bullet no bigger than my thumb nail will shoot out of a slate black barrel. And if I let it, that tiny piece of metal will snuff out Rex’s light. Darkness will consume him, devour me, and I’ll be left with nothing but a broken heart and shattered will to live. I can live with dying inside, but I can’t let the darkness take him.
The arm keeping me from Rex loosens as a fat finger moves to pull the trigger. My spine no longer presses against a stomach, round from too much whiskey and gas station food. A chill slides through me. Sweat on the small of my back icing over as the cold lobby air blows our way.
This is my chance.
I can’t hesitate. I lunge myself forward milliseconds before the boom of the pistol echoes in the lobby. I’m sure the hotel’s guests heard it, I can’t see how they didn’t, but to my knowledge no one is downstairs with us. The concierge lady ran away ages ago. The kitchen staff is probably hiding and anyone who might have been making their way to an early breakfast has likely taken cover. None of this matters. Whoever they are, they don’t matter.
The only person I’m worried about is Rex.
Pain pierces my shoulder, rippling throughout my chest. My hands find Rex’s shirtless body, touching his silky skin for what probably will be the last time. I shove him out of the way and fall to the ground, the wind knocked from my lungs.
Please let me have reached him in time.
I roll onto my back and struggle to fill the empty spaces inside with air. Each breath tangles with fire that seeps into every crevice of my being. My lungs fill, air pressing down on me with the force of an elephant. I exhale, bubbles rumbling beneath my chest, and attempt to t
ake another breath.
“Stupid bitch.” Our assailant says, barely a foot away. His voice is lost, muffled as if it’s on the other end of a tunnel.
I should see more, feel more, but the world’s hazy. A blur of swirling colors and lights. A dark shadow towers over me. I want to see the face but it’s a pit of darkness. This is the moment I realize that I’m about to get what I wanted. Well, used to want. Death has finally come to take me away.
Only I'm not ready to go anymore. I need to know that Rex is okay. That I saved him. My life’s meant nothing. I’ve done nothing purposeful; but to die in place of someone I love would make my miserable existence worth something. I turn my head searching where I think he should be but can’t see anything.
Icy fingers curl around my wrist. I shiver, mentally willing death to leave me be, begging her to give me five more minutes. A chill slithers through my veins like venom from a snake, paralyzing me from head to toe.
The shadowy figure above me leans closer, “Piper.”
Broken Love Book 2
I Hate You I Love You Part 1
I Hate You, I Love You Part 1
Now Available
They say when you meet the person you’re supposed to be with, time stops. Your brain takes in every micro-detail, committing it all to memory, and you’re hit with this unexplainable need. A need to get to know that person, talk to that person, simply be beside that person. And then there’s the kiss. A fire spreading, earth-shattering, kiss that wipes all others from your memory. I’ve felt that pull towards someone once, and it consumed me. But it wasn’t for love, it was hate. I absolutely, without a doubt, HATE Logan Harris.
Broken Love Book 3
I Love You I Hate You Part 2