by Mary Martel
Glancing up to his face, I watch the corners of his mouth pull up like he’s so glad he picked the short straw of first watch. When I take his hand, I can’t help but notice how small mine is in comparison. He holds my elbow on the bad side as we move towards the swing. As I sit, I almost groan in relief.
The swing moves as he takes the seat beside me before bending down to lift my foot onto his lap and reminding me, “Keep it elevated, remember?”
“Thank you,” I tell him, bringing a pink tinge to his cheeks as his eyes drop to the floor of the porch.
“I’m sorry I stole your knife,” I confess.
This brings his eyes back to mine. “Don’t be sorry. I don’t mind you carrying it. Kind of like the idea of it actually.”
A full-blown blush brushes his cheeks, and it makes me smile.
“What were you like before?” I wonder before I can stop myself.
The background noises of the night are a comfort I haven’t enjoyed for a long time being holed up in my tiny den of safety. As he begins to speak in a soft tone just barely loud enough to carry across the space between us, I can’t seem to figure out which sound I like more.
“I was this super shy soccer nerd,” he admits.
Shaking my head with a smile on my lips, I argue in the same low murmur, “I think you mean soccer jock.”
As his cheeks pull up with a smirk, I could swear that I see a dimple underneath the scruff on his face before he says, “I wasn’t ever a jock. I’d strived for four years to earn my spot on the team after being the scrawniest guy there. Took the entire summer before my senior year to workout two and three times a day. When I finally made first string instead of bench warmer, it was like a night and day comparison. On the field and off. I used to get invited to all the parties and could’ve had a ton of girlfriends, but my inner nerd just wouldn’t let it happen. I spent my nights doing extra reading and applying to colleges.”
He turns his face towards the lake, but it’s not quick enough for me to miss the disappointment in his eyes.
I voice what we’re both thinking. “It was all just a waste, huh? Should’ve enjoyed life a little more.”
“Are you speaking for me or yourself?” he asks gently, flicking his gaze back my way.
“Both of us,” I snort quietly. “I may be a sword wielding badass zombie slayer now, but before all of this…I was pretty much afraid of my own shadow.”
The chuckle that vibrates his chest sends tingles through my leg that’s trapped underneath his palms in his lap.
He eyes me in mock skepticism as he teases, “Humble, much?”
“No, really,” I argue. “I was just like you, only I never got invited to the parties. Did for a little while, but the invites stopped once it became obvious I’d never be going. My mom worked really hard for my little sister and me. Someone had to be there to help take care of her.”
“I’m sorry,” he says, letting his fingers glide over the skin around my ankle. In this world now, it’s evident if you aren’t with the people you speak of, then they’re likely dead. I’m assuming that’s the reason he feels the need to apologize, and I don’t want to fall into that deep pit tonight.
Instead, I change the subject, stating, “You look older than someone just out of high school.”
“Well,” he breathes out, “I was one of those late starters since my birthday falls after the cutoff date. Then I got held back in the third grade because my mom and dad went through a divorce. I got moved back and forth between them for almost the entire school year. By the time it was over, I’d missed too many days in the switching to pass. So, technically, I should’ve graduated way before now. I’d have been at college when the world caved in on itself.”
“Yeah, and you’d never be here tonight sitting on this porch and enjoying the view of the lake while listening to crickets if you had,” I tell him.
“Or sitting next to a beautiful girl either,” he admits before another pink flush takes over his cheeks.
My eyes narrow playfully. “Okay, now I see it.”
“What?” he asks.
“That shy nerdy thing.” I smile.
The pink shifts into a darker tint that’s visible even in the moonlight. It makes me want to lean over and ruffle the locks of hair underneath his hoodie.
“And you’ve yet to prove that side of yourself,” he shoots back.
I shrug. “I’m not the same person I was back then. When the world changes, you have to adapt to those changes or die.”
“Then why didn’t you kiss me upstairs like you wanted?” he asks brazenly.
“Because I’m not that girl,” I reply quickly, not giving myself a chance to think on my answer too hard. “This is the apocalypse. You probably haven’t seen another woman in months, at least not one that isn’t already tied down with someone. I don’t want to be someone’s only option. I’d want it to be more than that.”
Annnd my nerd finally speaks up. While I recognize that any day could be my last and the small things need not be taken for granted, I’d rather not waste what could be my last moments with one night stands with strangers who wouldn’t give me a second glance before the world went to shit.
“You aren’t scared, being here with a house full of men that haven’t seen a woman in that long?” he asks, slightly changing topic.
A dark snicker slips through my lips, “Whatever man tries to take what isn’t offered freely better be prepared to die or live without his balls.”
He swallows hard before replying. “Guess it’s a good thing that none of us are like that.”
I wait until those blue eyes flick to mine before I agree, “I wouldn’t be here if I thought you were.”
“And where exactly would you skitter off to, tiny bunny?” the wild man asks from the other side of the screen door. “Not like it worked out so well for you to run the first time, now did it?”
Letting out a deep sigh, I roll my eyes to the ceiling. If anyone in this house could ruin the peace of sitting and having a conversation, it would be him.
“I’m going to head back up,” I tell Dex, slipping my leg from his lap. “Thanks for chatting with me.”
“No problem,” he replies before jumping to his feet and reaching out for my arm as he adds, “Kemp is taking over watch, so I can help you upstairs if you want.”
The red-headed beast closing the bit of distance between us now looks at me curiously as if betting with himself what my answer will be. First instinct is to shoot Dex’s offer down, but I know by the time I make it upstairs, I’ll be lucky if I don’t wake the entire house with my hops across the floor. Crawling is an option, but letting Dex help would be so much easier. Also, less ego bruising.
Which is the excuse I’m telling myself when I let him help me from the swing. Kemp having stopped directly in front of me, Dex has to guide us around his solid frame that doesn’t look like it’s intending to move any time soon.
My shoulder brushes against his chest as he suddenly turns and drops his nose to my cheek. We’re still moving, so it traces a line up my jawbone until I can feel the warmth of his breath at my ear.
“Sleep tight and don’t kill anyone, crazy,” he breathes.
I pray to the universe that neither of them notice the hitch in my lungs or the goosebumps that travel down my arm. Wild man’s soft snicker, now behind us, confirms that prayer goes unanswered.
Dex, either oblivious or putting his acting skills to work, ignores us as he tows me inside to the bottom of the steps. Back in the same situation as earlier, it comes as no surprise when he offers his back. At least this time when I jump on board, he doesn’t stumble in surprise. He takes the stairs like a boss, not even out of breath by the time he’s setting my feet back on the floor of his room.
Before he has a chance to say anything or leave, I wrap his hand up in mine. For the first time in what feels like forever, I willingly wave my vulnerable flag out there for him to see.
“Will you stay here tonight?” I ask.
His face softens like he’s reading my mind. “Sure. Want me to lock the door still?”
I shrug, placing my trust in his hands. “You can if you want.”
Considering the lock on the door isn’t a factory installation, I’d assumed he had his own reasons for putting it there, so it comes as no surprise when he strolls over to lock it. I crawl across to the other side of the bed and set his knife on the table beside my head, leaving him the space next to the door.
The mattress dips with his weight, rolling me towards him a little. Flipping to one side to face him, I keep a decent amount of space between us. As he props his hands behind his head, I watch his eyes close instantly. It places a massive amount of trust on my shoulders, so respectfully, I do the same and fall asleep almost immediately.
Russ
I’d listened to Noble’s instructions just as the others did this morning at our breakfast briefing, as he likes to call them. I had trouble looking Dex in the face as he sat across from me. After walking in on Emerald with her arms thrown around him in a hug this morning in his bedroom, I’ve had a mix of sadness and anger rolling in my gut. Then both are overridden by guilt. If at least one of us can find happiness after all of the shit we’ve been through, then it makes it all worth it. I’m just envious it wasn’t me she chose.
Then again, why would she? For all the smooth talking I can do and all the girls I managed to nab in the old days, I’m not who I was back then. I’m not a strong fighter like Kemp and Noble. Nor am I a softy like Graham and Joseph or in need of fixing like Dex. I’m perfectly safe and boring.
I’d turned my head away from Emerald’s kiss on Dex’s cheek before she’d pulled Sam to the side. Whatever they said to each other was kept between them as I sulked out to the car. Dex smiled underneath his hoodie and slapped a hand on my back in camaraderie. I didn’t shrug him off like I wanted to, but I didn’t return his smile either. If he’d noticed anything was wrong, he never let on to it.
Now as Noble parks the Hummer behind some buildings in town and we get out, I try to leave all of the emotional stuff in the car. Anything less than a clear mind will land us all in trouble.
The putrid scent of the dead and other things such as decaying uncollected trash in dumpsters accosts my nose as I try to take a deep breath. I try to hide the way it makes me want to gag. We seriously got lucky with that place down by the lake, and it’s done a good job of spoiling me. I already miss the fresh air.
Noble doesn’t need to speak when he swings his goliath metal bat up to rest on his shoulder and starts walking. I let my fireman’s ax rest at my calves as I grip the middle of the handle tightly and follow in his and Kemp’s footsteps.
We round a corner leading into a dead end alley. After a few seconds of waiting, there aren’t any sounds to be heard, so Noble advances toward the back door. It’s locked with a padlock from the outside, but it’s easy enough to break with the bolt cutters Kemp has. Less than two minutes outside the door and we’re all on the other side. With only the sounds of our shuffling feet across dirty tile to keep us company, we clear the building before meeting back by the door.
“The windows are all broken out front, but there’s still plenty of supplies,” Kemp offers right away. “It doesn’t look like much has been taken.”
His voice is dry and emotionless. It always surprises me how easy it is for him to shut down, especially when killing the dead for a second time.
“Okay, Dex and I are staying,” Noble reminds us. “We’re close enough to the Hummer that we can make several trips between the two of us if we need to. Kemp, you take Russ and Sam over to the market to see if there’s any more food we can salvage. Meet back here in an hour. If you’re not here, I’ll assume something’s wrong and come searching.”
I nod in agreement as Kemp eyes Sam up and down. It makes me wonder if he’s asking himself the same thing I am. Will he try to make a run for it? With Emerald still at the house, I’d say not, but people are highly unpredictable in precarious situations and even more so these days.
We split from the other two and head back out the back door. Kemp cautiously leads us down the alley and in the opposite direction as the Hummer. We’ve barely made it a block when the smell hits me first before the squelching groans. Three rotting corpses come stumbling out of another of those back alleys directly in our path.
Kemp jumps into action, whipping the machete out of its scabbard at his side and stabbing the first one through the eye. It’s abnormally aggressive, even for him, so I make a mental note to talk to him later as I take on the second one.
As I swing it sideways, my ax makes a disgusting pop sound at contact with muscle and bone, vibrating through my wrist to my elbow. I’ve barely yanked it out before Kemp is on top of the last one. His machete stabs it straight through the neck, keeping it immobile long enough for him to sink a smaller more lethal blade through the top of its skull.
We handled them quickly and quietly, but that doesn’t mean our adrenaline isn’t still pumping like wild from the action. Point proven as we glance to each other with our chests heaving. As one, we turn to where Sam should be, Kemp looking ready to give him the same treatment for not stepping in to help. However, it seems in the excitement, Sam did what we all feared and took off.
Shit.
“Go after him,” Kemp demands. “I’m going to keep to the plan. If you can’t find him, get back to Noble.”
“We aren’t supposed to split up,” I argue.
He growls like an animal with his words, “If anything happens to that asshole, crazy will be beside herself. I’ve got this shit. Make sure to keep both of you alive.”
I dip my chin in understanding before turning on my heel and taking back off the way we just came from. If there’s one person in our little family that can be trusted to take care of themselves, it’s Kemp. Though I do internally vow to find Sam as quickly as possible and try not to strangle his dumbass while dragging him back, so Kemp isn’t left alone for too long. We’ll be lucky if Noble doesn’t murder us all.
Back tracking, there aren’t many options for directions that Sam could’ve gone. Risking being caught by Noble, I decide to try the easiest first by checking the other alley between us and them. It’s empty, but something about the ladder pulls my attention. I could’ve sworn it was lifted when we ran by earlier.
Shit, if nothing else, maybe I can get a better vantage point from the roof. Silently cursing his dumbass on every single rung of the ladder, I finally make it to the top, instantly dropping into a crouch. We weren’t joking with Emerald about that gang we noticed hanging around the edge of town. Better safe than sorry if they have a lookout positioned on the top of one of the buildings. I do a quick thorough scan of the rooftops to appease that cautious habit Noble has tried instilling into our brains. He’s never come right out and told me personally, but it would be easy to see him having been military in his previous life.
My brain is going over this info as I shuffle and do a sort of crab walk to the front of the store I’m on top of. Halfway there, an open hatch with a padlock beside it makes me pause. Is it possible there’s someone inside? Someone alive, that is. What if the gang has lookouts inside?
I think about climbing straight back down and finding Noble and Dex before going inside. Fear churns in my gut, both at the thought of needing my hand held and going inside alone. As Noble likes to say, fear is good. Anyone who doesn’t have at least a small dose of it running through them on a daily basis these days is a person that needs to be avoided.
Sucking an almost silent breath through my teeth, I inch my way closer to the opening. One glance down the short ladder, and I almost piss myself. The top of a head is clearly visible behind the beam from a flashlight shining around the tiny room. It takes two more heartbeats for me to realize it’s Sam, and that asshole is within strangling distance now.
“What the fuck!” I whisper yell down to him.
He startles so hard that he drops the flashlig
ht.
Bending down to scoop it up and inspect it for damage, he quietly snarls back, “What’s your malfunction, dude? Scared the piss out of me.”
You’re not the only one, you selfish dick.
“We’re supposed to be sticking together, dick,” I murmur angrily. “Noble is going to skin you alive. Kemp is out there alone now.”
Even the darkness doesn’t hide the way his face blanches at my words before he replies, “I’m sorry. She asked me to pick up some things without any of you. She didn’t want to give away her hideout. I’m more fearful of her wrath than Noble’s, so we’re both dead men.”
“Well, since we’re already dead,” I tell him, scooting closer until my legs hang in the hole over the ladder.
There’s some more soft cursing and a soft mumble that sounds a lot like “Em is going to chop off my nuts” at the bottom. I try my best not to let my laugh loose as I make my way down. He’s probably right, though. She’s likely to kill us both, but my curiosity is stronger than fear at this point.
I drop into the room to find Sam and his small stream of light leading away from the only other light source in the building from the open hatch. Visibility is impossible two feet past my face and makes my stomach clench tight again. Lingering trauma from an episode of being locked inside a pitch black closet for hours as a child tries to resurface, but I push it right back down. This may be the only chance I get to check out her personal space.
Holding my breath as I push out into the darkness, I almost punch Sam in the face when he pops around the corner with a flash of light.
“Found another flashlight,” he murmurs before handing it to me.
Just as quiet, I give him my thanks and flip it on. In the spotlight, I can make out a small bathroom in the corner and a big wash tub beside it. Obviously, she’d been using it for laundry since there’s a pair of jeans and socks hanging over the side. The back door is locked down tight with two separate padlocks and some piece of metal through the handle. My breath catches at how claustrophobic this place feels, and I have to remind myself that there’s an easy clear way out.