by Brynn Hale
“How old are you?” he asks.
“Twenty-four, but almost twenty-five next month.”
“I’m thirty-six.”
Age is just a number in my mind, but I wonder if it’s more in his.
“You don’t look a day over twenty-nine, Kaede.”
He harrumphs. I look over my shoulder and notice that he has to bring his gaze up from looking at my ass. Normally, I might be offended, but for some reason when it’s Kaede, a shiver blasts up my spine in a happy shooting-star effect.
His gaze meets mine, but there’s not one ounce of guilt in it. It’s almost adorable. He owns his actions, no apologies and no remorse. And I like that. It’s definitely a refreshing change.
“Do you know who the Goo Goo Dolls are, Kaede?” I ask, as I pour the drained macaroni into the cheese sauce.
“Nope. Should I?”
“Definitely not. Midnight dinner is served.” I set a bowl filled with the creamy and carb-laden dish in front of him. “It’s really hot.”
I pass him the salt and pepper. He leans over it and inhales. “Smells perfectly seasoned.” He pushes the seasonings away.
I’m not sure if he’s real.
And he seems really perfect.
Kaede
I eat two bowls full of the masterpiece and lean back stretching my arms above my head to make room in my stomach. “Willow, that was amazing. I might have to keep you around.”
She looks back over her shoulder as she cleans up the kitchen. “Hey, I might be your maid, but I’m not your permanent cook.”
I chuckle. “I suppose we should get to bed.”
She stills.
“I mean you on the couch and me in my room, Ms. Steyer.” I round the bar into the kitchen and grab the scrubbing pad from her hand. “I’ll do the dishes in the morning.”
“Nah, I like to do them. I’ll get them done so I can clean the sink out and put everything away.”
“Wow, you’re a clean-freak, aren’t you?”
“I’m not a freak!”
I step away and watch her back tense. “Are you okay?”
“I don’t like people poking fun of how much a clean house means to me. It’s not, it’s a…a…” Her chest rises quickly.
“Willow?”
“I grew up really poor and my mom had a mental illness. I took care of my family…” Her baby blue eyes glisten.
“That had to be hard.”
“It was, but I never stopped taking care of others and started taking care of me.”
We both have trauma. Our pasts are like a deer in the mountains, coming from nowhere and damaging a car and ruining a day when least expected.
I lift her chin. “Hey, I understand.”
I still feel the need to be of service to people, too. It’s ingrained. It’s trained. And it’s a pain.
“I know how it feels to be trapped by some overwhelming need that you just want to say,
‘stop’ to. I was helping a friend to build a chicken coop before the storm gets here, even though I really wanted to be here in the warmth and working on my own work. I can’t say no.” I wrap my arms around her, and she sinks into me.
I lift her chin. I want Willow to not only hear me but see me. “But honey, don’t care if the dishes aren’t done, or there’s dust on the coffee table, or the laundry is as tall as I am. All I care about is taking you to that bedroom, watching you put on that little number you wore earlier, so I can take it off of you again.”
My cock hardens in between us and her eyes widen.
“Wow.”
“All of me thinks you’re pretty damn wow, Willow.”
“Ummmm…” Her forehead wrinkles. “I don’t know.”
That wasn’t exactly the response I thought I would get, but maybe we’re not on the same page.
I linger a soft kiss on her forehead. “It’s okay. I’ll get you some pillows and blankets for the couch. It pulls out, if you want me to.”
“No, it’ll be fine.”
There’s now a distance. I stepped over a line, but I want her, and I don’t ignore what I want when I have for so long. But I’m also not going to force a woman to have sex with me. Either she wants me, or she doesn’t.
I get her settled. “There you go. I’ll see you in the morning.” I leave her standing with her arms wrapped around her waist.
“Kaede!”
I turn and Willow stalks across the room to me. I’m trapped in the snare of her gaze.
Her hands wrap around my neck and pull it down. I put up some resistance. If the woman wants me, she’ll have to make sure she’s all in.
She raises to her tiptoes. “Kiss me, please.”
I don’t have to be asked twice. I claim her mouth. Wrapping her in my arms, I lift her more than a foot off the floor to my height. It’s been so long—high school I believe—since I’ve kissed a woman and what it does to my body is amazing. Nerves zing in my lips. I growl and she giggles.
She pulls back, then pecks my lips again. Like she needs just one more hit before bed. “We’ll continue this conversation tomorrow, my mountain man.”
I’m tired, but for her I would’ve ignored every sore muscle and yawn to bring her into my bed. But I won’t beg even if my nuts are buzzing to have their moment.
“Good night, sweetheart.”
This time I walk to my bedroom and close the door. If she had balked even once at sleeping on the couch, I would’ve gladly traded her, but it is my bed and I’ve slept on the ground too many nights. I purchased this high-end mattress just for that reason.
I strip down to nothing. It’s my usual and I’m not changing that either.
I roll over and wonder if she’s okay.
It’s new for me to wonder how someone else is doing. I was a ward of the state from four years old. From age four to seventeen I bounced around foster homes, my attitude keeping anyone from truly making a connection. It was the biggest reason I joined the Marines. One, they accepted me. Two, I wanted to make something of myself.
Three, I needed to get away from what I’d made of myself.
But right now, all I want is for Willow to accept me. To make me feel whole. And to keep what I know is meant to be mine.
Meant to be mine.
Willow
It’s three in the morning when I think I’ve sighed enough. Two hours of thinking of only one thing. One big thing.
And the man it’s attached to.
I’ve never been this unrestrained for a man. I’ve experienced lust and cravings before—mostly for Ryan Reynolds who wasn’t remotely available to me—but this is like those feelings are multiplied to a factor of a hundred and then multiplied again.
And again.
Kaede could have any woman he wants. It seems like he wants me, but is it just opportunity to him? I don’t think I can do a one-night stand. Plus, I’ll definitely have to see him after this. Boone and Daisy are having a christening in January for Maverick. He’ll no doubt be there. I’ll definitely be there. We’ll be there.
This could really be messy. And awkward. And…
His bedroom door opens and I pretend I’m snoring.
“Damn, woman, you need to see someone about that,” he mumbles quietly before heading into the bathroom.
I open my eyes and sit up. His bedroom door is open. It’s not an invitation, but it’s not a closed door. It’s open. Wide.
I stand up, only in my sage-green panties and matching bra, and move across the floor quickly. I stop for just a second at the end of his bed to consider what I’m going to do. Is this crazy or am I ready? I’m almost giddy. The excitement of being in his bed, with him, and under him. It’s got my body responding in ways I never expected. My nipples almost ache. My panties are sticking to my pussy lips with wetness that feels both hot and cool.
The bed is warm like he sleeps in the middle. And that gives me pause.
He sleeps in the middle. It’s his. His only.
I flip back the covers and start to stand, but f
ootsteps stop me. I decide to get under the covers and pretend to be asleep. Maybe he’ll believe I sleepwalked?
“Well, well… what do we have here?” He squats at the side of the bed. “Were you scared out there? Or do you want something else, sweetheart?”
I stare into his eyes. His trustworthy and hot like blue-fire eyes that make my heart almost ache, pine, and fall all at once.
“A little of both?” It’s a question, but I mean it as a statement.
“Which is more?”
My heart feels like a hundred-piece drum band is inside of it. I reach out to touch his face, sliding my hand over that bushy beard that tells me he’s all man.
“I want you, Kaede. I’ve never wanted anything like I want you. But… I’m just going to say it. I’m a virgin. I’m not experienced like you. And I am scared, but I’m more scared out there on that couch, not taking a chance, than I am in here. I’m scared that what I’m feeling is too much and you might not feel the same.”
He lifts my chin. “Willow, from the moment you jumped out of this bed, the only thing I’ve wanted to do is get you back in it.”
“With you in it, too?” I pull back the covers and a deep, animal growl comes out of him.
“Are you really ready for this, Willow? Because once I get inside of you, I’m not going to ever stop wanting to be there. And I guarantee, you’ll never forget I was there.”
“Wow, you’re a little cocky.”
He stands and I gasped at the sight. “No, honey, I’m a lot cocky.”
Kaede
I didn’t think she needed to know my status when it came to sex, but I also didn’t want to start a relationship with a lie. And as the military had taught me, an omission is as bad as an outright lie, they both create suspicion and doubt.
The glow from the nightlight casts my dark shadow over her as I walk around the bed. And the way it makes her face glow tells me it’s just the right amount of lighting. I can see what I’m working with, and what I’ll be admiring. Not that I can’t imagine already.
I slide under the covers and scoot into the middle. “I want to be honest with you, Willow.”
“Oh God, you have a girlfriend? Am I just a side piece?”
I chuckle. “No. You’ll never be a side piece to anyone. You’re mine now.” I swallow down thirty-six years of being alone and how I sacrificed what I wanted for what was expected from me. I’m not mad about the commitment, but I’m done with the obligation.
I slip a hand into hers. “I’ve never had sex.”
Her eyebrows shoot up. “Okay, the girlfriend thing was more reasonable than that. I don’t need you making up stories to make me feel—” She starts to scramble out of the bed.
“I’m not. I’m telling you the truth. I don’t lie and I’ll never lie to you, Willow.”
She stops. “How?”
“How am I still a virgin?”
“Well, yeah… You have seen yourself in a mirror, right?”
I reach out for her again. “Yeah, and I didn’t have many opportunities in high school. I was that shy, gangly kid who didn’t have a lot of friends. I was in the foster system from age four. My mom couldn’t take care of me. I don’t know her real circumstances, and my dad was never in the picture. So, I joined the military as soon as I could and I ignored every woman who pawed at me because part of me didn’t want temporary ever again. If someone was coming into my life, she would be permanent.”
With every truth, I realize how much I need this woman. She is the oxygen in my blood. She is the missing piece of a puzzle I’ve never known I was making of my life.
Her eyes clamp closed. “I don’t know if I can promise you forever. I have a life back in Helena.”
I knew the argument was coming, but I can tell Willow is close to finding a place for me in her life, too. She was the one to cross the room for that dick-rising kiss. She made the meal. She appeared in my bed… twice. Now I hunger to make her come in my bed.
I’m not nervous. We are too perfect to feel like this is anything but right.
“I know, but I also know that my life will never be the same without you in it. Permanently.”
“Do you know how special you are?” she sighs through the question.
Her words warm me deep in my gut. “Sweetheart, right back at ya.”
“As long as you’ll promise that we’ll both be adults and you’ll never ignore me, if this doesn’t work out…”
“I’ll never do that to you. I would never do that to anyone.”
Her crisp white teeth glow in the dusky light. “I believe you, honey.”
“You ready?” I ask.
“I’m ready for you, Kaede.”
I know you are. If you’ll just believe.
It is hard for me to believe, too. Growing up, my Christmases weren’t the joyous time they were for most. I got that gift that said, “Boy age X,” with the X being a number and usually the gift was not in my age range. And Santa rarely came to the places I stayed. But I never said anything. I learned quickly it’s not worth saying anything when no one listens.
But I feel like Willow listens to me. Gets me. Wants me.
Debauched thoughts fill my head. I drag her close and she shivers. I don’t think she’s cold. I’m on fire both inside and out. I’ll heat her body quickly with everything I want to do to her.
My cock has been in a perpetual state of semi-hard since I walked in on her seven hours ago. But now he’s stone, and he’s not going to go down until she’s satisfied. That is my classified operation and only success will do.
I kiss Willow like I’m deploying instead of staying. She deserves every kiss to be like this. I want her to remember and crave more and more. Her soft lips caress mine like silk. There is no part of this woman that will ever be too much or not enough.
Her hands search my chest and then she’s going lower and lower and I rip my lips from hers as she strokes my cock. The sensations roll over me like water lapping a beach. I fight the growing tidal wave that’s inside of me. I won’t let it go. I will only…
Her voice is soft and gentle. “Kaede, I want to see you come.”
“But you…”
“Don’t worry, this isn’t over. I’ll work you back up. We have all night—just you and me will learn everything about each other.”
“If you insist.” I pump my hips and her head disappears under the covers. And then a wetness covers my cock, slick and warm. I drive in and out of her mouth. My body’s a fuse that only she can ignite. She strikes the match. I’m on fire. My body detonates and she’s there to catch every drop. Every. Goddamn. Drop. Inside this woman.
My woman.
Willow
I’m ready for this. He waited for me. For me. No man has ever said that my happiness came before his. It makes me want to do more and more for him. To please him and I have no doubts that he’ll return the favor.
I climb up his body and lay against him. “How was that?”
His chest rises and lowers quickly. “Have you ever done that before?”
“Nope. Not once.”
“Damn, woman, you might kill me.”
“Not until after you make me come.”
Kaede makes quick work of my bra latch and rolls me until I’m under him. “Your order is my command, sweetheart.”
His hand cups my breast and his thumb and finger roll my nipple until I’m writhing under him.
“You like that, don’t you, sweetheart?”
“I do. Touch me lower, Kaede. Touch my pussy, please.”
He slides to my side and his fingers play a slow piano solo down my chest, across my plump stomach, and lower. The look in his eyes is nothing but wonder and happiness. And as soon as he slips those fingers over my clit to separate my lips, I’m panting.
“Shit. I’m ready for you. Please.” I can’t stop the pleas and I don’t want to. I like the sound of my begging when it comes to this man. I’m desperate and uninhibited, two things I’ve never been before. And although I
should be scared at how fast I’m falling, I only want to fall faster.
“Let’s see.” His finger slips inside of my body and I gasp. “You still with me, Willow.”
“Don’t stop. Rub my clit.”
“Damn, you’re so tight.” His lips caress my neck, down my chest, suckling on a nipple while slipping a second finger inside my pussy. “So hot.”
As soon as he motions his fingers inside of me toward my clit, I see stars and my body shakes and pulses. “Fuck!”
“That’s it baby. That’s beautiful. Keep going.”
He continues playing my body until I’m almost crying and then I feel it. It’s his cock and he’s right there.
“Yes, Kaede, now.”
He pushes forward and we’ll both never be the same. He’s inside of me. And he’s huge. His cock stretches me until I feel like I’ll burst open. But it’s beautiful. And it’s special. And I don’t want it to ever end.
“You okay?” he asks through gritted teeth.
“When I’m with you, and I’m better than okay. I’m whole, Kaede.”
When he starts to move, I moan as every ridge caresses my inner walls. And soon I’m meeting him thrust for thrust. Plunging in my body, so deep. His face is red and I’m burning up inside, ready for release.
“Should I pull out?”
“Give me that seed, my gorgeous mountain man.”
And that’s all it takes. The knowledge that we could create a life—a little of him, a little of me on this night—takes me over the edge.
I stare into his eyes. And the warm pulse of my pussy grabs his cock, milking him dry. Kaede thrusts three more plunges and plants deep inside of me, his cock throbbing everything he has into my body. There is no fear with him. It’s only truth and honesty.
And I don’t know if I’ll ever be the same again.
Kaede
I’m spent. I’m done. I’m gone for this woman. She’s everything to me and all I want is to be her everything.
But what we’ve done has consequences.
First mission. I jog to the bathroom. I grab a warm, wet washcloth and go back to clean her up. She lays like a goddess stretched out on the bed. Willow’s face is still flushed, and her chest heaves in beautiful waves.