by Claire Raye
Taking in a deep breath, my shoulders rising with the movement as I exhale hard. It’s time to pull myself back together and stop celebrating, but I struggle when I hear Paul call my name. My back is turned to him, and when I turn back to face him, he’s standing directly in front of me.
He wipes away the blood from his nose, and I take in his face. He’s beautiful, far more stunning than most men in his role, but he has a wildness about him, a fierceness that shines in his almost iridescent blue eyes. He wipes at his nose again with the damp towel and I find myself memorizing his face. Strong features: a chiseled jawline and a nose that looks to have been once broken, disheveled dirty blonde hair and a smile that could make any girl melt in his presence.
He looks like a bad decision.
He’s smirking at me when I finally stop checking him out and I feel my cheeks grow hot and flush pink as I chew recklessly on my bottom lip.
“Great job, Sadie. Only the good ones nail it on the first try,” he says, his tone sending off an air of flirtation and again I feel myself blushing.
And I wanna nail you on the first try, my brain murmurs and I bite down harder on my lip.
“Thank you,” I mutter back, suddenly aware of my awkwardness as I think about the last time I had this kind of interaction with a man. Fuck my life, it’s been way too long.
“I gotta go get cleaned up,” Paul says, tilting his head in the direction of the makeup trailer and I nod in response, worried I may have just announced to him that it’s been way too long since I’ve been laid.
We part and as I walk back to where the next scene is being set up, I find myself looking back as Paul walks in the opposite direction.
I flop down in a chair, tugging my hand though my hair as my assistant walks up holding a cup of coffee in one hand and a glass of ice in the other.
“Not sure which one you want,” Shannon jokes, thrusting the ice at me. “I’m thinking this one.”
“What are you talking about?” Playing dumb isn’t going to work on her. She’s been my assistant for far too long, and unfortunately, she knows far too much about my sex life with Noel.
“Please,” she says, narrowing her eyes at me. “Like you didn’t notice that hot as fuck stuntman. Nice job though, acting like you throwing yourself at him was out of excitement over the scene.”
“I was excited about the scene,” I defend, crossing my arms over my chest and letting out a huff in mock annoyance.
“And we’re all excited about you hooking up with someone who isn’t your jerk of a husband.” She lavishly throws her arms around as if to indicate that all these people on set support her.
“That’s called cheating, Shannon and I’m not a cheater.”
“Well, you’re the only one taking the moral high road because we all know he’s been cheating on you.”
Everyone hates Noel but Shannon hates him with the fire of a thousand suns. I don’t blame her. She’s had to deal with him as much as I have, and now that he’s gone both of our lives have gotten easier.
“Low blow. Sorry,” she quickly retorts and hands me the cup of coffee.
“It’s all going to be over soon because he’s signing the divorce papers, but I’m sure he’s not going down without a fight.” I try to play casual even though I know the nightmare is only beginning, and after what he pulled with my parents this morning, I can only imagine what else he’s cooking up.
The rest of my thoughts are cut short when Paul walks back onto set, but this time he’s pulling a shirt on and Shannon and I catch a glimpse of his ridiculously fit body just before he finishes.
“Oh my god,” she mutters and it takes everything in me not to laugh out loud. She took the words right out of my mouth.
Chapter Six
Paul
The first day of filming is literally action packed, but it’s in that adrenaline rushing, heart pounding, kind of way. The car crash scene we just filmed had been like a jolt of electricity straight to the heart, energizing me. And nailing it on the first take, fuck, that kind of thing is one in a million and only amplifies everything I’m feeling right now.
But I’d be totally lying if I said part of it hadn’t also been due to the cute as hell director we have. Because she most definitely is part of the reason I’m feeling so juiced up right now.
I mean she’s cute and funny and from the limited amount of interaction I’ve have with her so far, just so totally normal too.
And of course, married.
“Fuck,” I mutter to myself as I gather up my things from our trailer on the set and prepare to head back to the studio.
Married, which means off-limits, go straight past go, do not even think about it.
Having walked in on my own girlfriend of three years cheating on me, the last thing I want to do is join that club myself. No thank you. But particularly not when the woman in question is my director and her husband is of the Noel Robinson variety.
And while he might have had some drama over the movie he was working on getting shut down a couple of months ago, I know it will only be a matter of time before he is back on set, screaming at his actors and generally being an arrogant asshole while his movies once again top box offices all around the world.
Having worked on several of his movies in the past, I know exactly what he’s like. Which means I know exactly why even thinking about his wife in any way other than as my boss is a big fat no go area.
By the time we get back to the studio, it’s late, well after ten o’clock. But when we walk inside, the place is buzzing with what can only be described as an impromptu party.
Catering tables lining the wall are covered in ice buckets filled with beers and bottles of wine. Nearby, a guy is mixing drinks for people, while an adjacent table is being filled with pizzas by three delivery guys.
“Come, join us!” a voice calls and when I look up, it’s the director I should absolutely not be thinking about, who’s suggesting it. She’s standing by the table, holding a beer, while her assistant hands over a wad of cash to the pizza guys. “We’ve got pizza, beer, help yourself,” she adds, waving a hand over the tables.
Somewhere, some music starts to play and Sadie smiles, her head bobbing in time to the beat. I’m tired as fuck, but I don’t want to leave.
“I’m in,” Gus says, slapping me on the back as he walks past me and over to the table with the beers.
“Paul?” Sadie asks, watching me.
I shrug, as if to say, why not, before dropping my bag on the floor and heading over to grab a drink.
Sadie doesn’t move and as I twist off the cap, I find myself turning to her and asking, “So you happy with how today went?”
Her smile widens. “Yep, I am,” she says, looking up at me. “I don’t think it could’ve gone any better.”
I nod. “You got some major scenes shot with really limited takes,” I say. “I might be out of a job sooner than I thought.”
I’m only half-joking, but Sadie doesn’t seem to realize. “Your contract will be honored, regardless of how quickly we get this done,” she says, her words serious.
I glance down at her, my eyes flicking to her face and then her hand as it rests against my arm, her fingers are soft against my bare skin, but still sending a jolt of electricity straight up my arm.
She quickly pulls her hand away, as though she didn’t even know she’d put it there and as soon as it’s gone, I want it back.
“I’m not worried about that,” I tell her. “I know you’re not like your husband.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, I regret them. “Fuck, sorry, that was really inappropriate.”
Sadie shakes her head as she takes a big gulp of her beer and swallows hard. “No, it’s fine. I get it.”
“No, it’s not. I shouldn’t have…”
“Paul,” she says, cutting me off as her hand once again finds its way to my arm. “I get it. Noel’s an asshole in every sense of the word and ending your contract early is exactly the sort of thing he’d do.”<
br />
Now it’s me taking a big gulp of beer, unsure what to say or how to respond.
“Anyway, he’s about to be my ex-husband, so…”
My head whips around as she trails off. “What?”
A sad smile tugs at the corner of her mouth as she lifts her beer for another sip. “I’m divorcing him,” she says quietly.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her.
She shrugs. “Thanks, but like I said, he’s an asshole, so you know, it’s all good.” She gives a small laugh, but it’s without humor.
“Asshole or not,” I tell her, “it’s still a shitty thing to go through.”
Sadie finishes her beer nodding. “Yeah, it is, but anyway,” she says dismissing the topic as she grabs two more beers and hands one to me. “Let’s have another drink.”
I take the beer she offers me and we wordlessly stand here, sipping our drinks. It feels kinda awkward and I’m wracking my brain for something to say that isn’t insulting or just plain stupid.
I risk a glance at her, at the same time as she looks up at me and without saying anything, both of us suddenly burst out laughing.
“God, that was sort of a buzz kill, wasn’t it?” she says, smiling up at me.
I feel myself grinning back at her. “Yeah, sorry about that.”
“Meh,” she says, waving a hand. “Let’s just call it done. You have a shitty ex-girlfriend and I have a shitty soon-to-be ex-husband,” she adds.
I shake my head, remembering how I told her this morning about Helena. “Fuck me, we’re a sad pair, aren’t we?”
Sadie laughs. “Yeah, but at least we’re free of them now,” she adds and I swear as she says those words, something weird happens.
Suddenly the air between us somehow feels charged with electricity, an undercurrent of tension joining us, pulling us closer, as my eyes meet hers. She stares up at me, her blue eyes wide and unblinking and I can feel myself drowning in them. I can see myself so easily getting lost in them.
“Sadie!” someone yells, breaking the moment instantly as Sadie turns away.
Rebecca Richards, the female lead of this movie is waving at Sadie, beckoning her over. Just as I think she’s going to walk away, Sadie turns back to me, her hand once again finding its way to my arm.
“Excuse me for a second?” she asks.
“Of course,” I say, a little surprised.
Sadie smiles. “Have fun, and no more talk of exes,” she says.
I nod, giving her a small salute that makes her laugh before she walks away.
I spend the next few hours hanging out with the other stunt crew, shooting the shit and having more beers than I probably should. Despite how tired I am, I feel relaxed and glad I stuck around to mingle with the cast and crew.
It seems like a really nice bunch of people working on this movie, which is good. It always amazes me how some of the movie stars are so completely normal and some of them are total assholes, as though the money and fame has somehow made them above everyone else.
But the leads for this movie are the normal kind, both of them having introduced themselves to all the cast and crew. They’re now here mingling with everyone as though this is just a regular party and not one filled with people who regularly earn six figure salaries for three months’ worth of work.
I know a part of this relaxed atmosphere is due to Sadie, too. Because even though everyone knows her as Noel Robinson’s wife, she’s most definitely nothing like him.
There are no screaming or derogatory comments yelled at the cast, no tantrums or unrealistic expectations either. It’s the total opposite to working on a Noel Robinson movie and it makes me wonder how the hell she ever wound up married to the guy.
Not married to him anymore… a voice in my head reminds me.
I find myself searching the room for her, wondering where she is and who she’s talking to.
“Looking for someone?”
I turn back and find Sadie standing in front of me, a smile on her face. Grinning, I shrug, trying to play it cool as I say, “Just thinking what a cool crew this is.”
Not exactly what I was thinking, but not a lie either.
Sadie smiles. “Yeah, it is,” she says as she looks around the room. “So, are you from L.A.?” she asks.
I shake my head. “Canada,” I reply. “You?”
“New York originally,” she says. “But I’ve been living in London for the last ten years. Just moved back here last week.”
“So what, you’re living here now?”
Sadie nods as she mouths the word divorce at me.
“Gotcha,” I add, winking. “Well, I’m staying in this dump on the edge of the city, pretty sure it might actually be a crack den.”
“Seriously?” Sadie asks, a horrified look on her face.
I laugh. “Maybe,” I say, shrugging.
“Do you want me to find you somewhere else to stay?” she asks.
“No, no,” I say, shaking my head. “I’m good. It’s all good,” I tell her. “I’m tougher than I look,” I add, giving her another wink.
She runs her eyes slowly down my body before lifting them again to my face. The whole thing feels weirdly seductive, as though it’s her hands that are slowly moving over me and I can feel every single thing her touch is doing to me.
“I think you look pretty damn tough actually,” she says, when her eyes finally meet mine again.
I swallow hard, unsure what to make of her words.
“I mean, obviously being a stuntman you’d have to…to work out, right?” she asks, looking away.
I smile. “I do, yeah. Usually spend a couple hours in the gym each day. I’m trained in martial arts and boxing too, so you know,” I add, shrugging.
“Wow,” Sadie murmurs, muttering something else under her breath.
“Huh?” I ask, glancing at her.
She lifts her gaze from my chest to my face, her eyes dark as she licks her bottom lip before pulling it between her teeth. Inside my chest, my heart starts to pound, tapping out a hard rhythm I can feel all the way down to my toes.
What the hell is happening here?
“So, you could totally kick someone’s ass then?” she asks, cocking a brow.
I smile, even as that weird tension between us lingers. “Totally.”
She crosses her arms over her chest. “Good to know,” she says, nodding. “I’ll remember that when I need someone to help me out with that.”
I chuckle. “I could teach you to kick ass too, you know.”
That eyebrow of hers cocks again and feel my smile widen. She’s fucking adorable. “Me?” she asks, glancing down at herself. “I’m like five foot nothing and never set foot inside a gym.”
I laugh, my head falling back. “Well, the gym thing we can change,” I say. “But don’t let size fool you,” I add. “You might be tiny, but you can still be fierce.”
“Really?” she asks, and I don’t miss the look of excitement that flashes across her face.
“Really.”
“But you’re saying I should still hit the gym?” she asks, her brows narrowing, a look of disgust on her face now.
Chuckling, I nod. “Yeah, you should. Why? You don’t like working out?”
“Mmmm,” she says, waving her hand as though she’s undecided. “Nope, not really,” she eventually admits.
I laugh again. “Maybe you just haven’t been doing it right?” I suggest. “Because it’s kinda addictive. That rush you get from a good hard workout. Kinda like sex,” I add. “Although obviously not as good.”
Sadie’s mouth drops open as a slight flush colors her cheeks. “Maybe I’m not doing it right,” she murmurs, almost to herself.
“The trick is to mix things up a bit. Don’t let your body get used to the workout, ‘cause then it gets bored and you won’t want to do it anymore.”
She swallows hard now, her eyes growing impossibly darker as though she’s wondering if that same rule also applies to sex.
Yeah, Sadie it does.
“Maybe I need to go to the gym sometime,” she finally says, her voice husky and low and making me forget all about working out and instead thinking about what that voice of hers would sound like moaning my name.
“Maybe you should,” I say.
Sadie nods once but says nothing more and I’m suddenly wondering what the hell it is that’s happening here.
Chapter Seven
Sadie
I’m exhausted when I finally arrive home, but still somehow completely wired and unable to sleep. I forgot what it was like to be on a movie set without being under Noel’s thumb. The sense that someone isn’t constantly watching me, judging, and waiting for the moment to dissect everything I do. My creativity has been stifled for so long.
I cut my directing teeth on a movie that I co-directed with Noel and at times I feel like an imposter in this industry. I sold a few screenplays after I started working with Noel, but beyond that everything I wrote and directed was with him. They were his ideas, his directing notes, his edits to the screenplays, but at least I was working, even if I questioned my talent at every turn.
Our life was a lie of smoke and mirrors, of forced smiles and hidden stories, but it’s all coming to an end and it feels exhilarating.
I needed today.
I needed it to remind myself that my name was not made by a man, that my talent surpasses Noel’s words.
I close the door behind me, the house dimly lit, the silence of its vast emptiness consuming me, and I find myself laughing, a mix of tears and happiness entwining to light a fire inside me.
I call out the empty house, my words echoing back to me and making me laugh even more.
Silence is golden.
Or in my case, freeing.
But more than all of this, there was something about the stuntman, Paul that made me feel alive. I felt myself smiling in his presence, enjoying the playful teasing quality of our conversations.
I dig through my purse as I walk through the house and upstairs toward the bedroom, pulling out my phone, a giddy feeling of excitement over the day still lingering. Despite it being late and knowing I have to get up early, I begin to look up everything I can find about Paul. It wasn’t me who signed him on as one of the stunt people on the set and I’m intrigued by his qualifications…or maybe I’m just curious about him.