by Claire Raye
“Yeah, really,” I tell her. “You’re my girlfriend, we’re living together, meeting each other’s families is the next step, right?”
Sadie laughs, her hands sliding up my stomach under my t-shirt. “How are you so damn perfect?” she asks, shuffling closer so she’s sitting right on my dick.
“Perfect for you,” I tell her, my hands sliding under her top and up her back, fingers fumbling with her bra strap.
“You are,” she whispers, almost shyly.
“Sadie,” I murmur, pulling her even closer, my lips against hers. “I…”
A loud knock at the door cuts off the rest of what I was about to say, Shannon’s voice clear as she says, “Guys, food is here. You coming?”
Sadie giggles at her assistant’s choice of words and timing.
Chuckling, I call, “We’ll be there in a sec.”
“We will?” Sadie says, rocking on my hips and what she can feel this is all doing to me.
I still her body, even though I would love to take this further. “I want you to go have fun tonight,” I tell her. “Celebrate everything you’ve achieved with this movie. Have a few drinks, kick back, I’ll be here with you and I’ll drive you home afterward, okay?”
Sadie stares back at me, her hands still on me. “Seriously, Paul, how are you this perfect?”
I smile, taking one of her hands and lifting it to my heart, knowing that I have to say this, regardless of whether it’s the right time or if we’re going to get interrupted again. I just have to get it out, tell her how I really feel.
God knows if it’s too soon or too much given she’s just getting out of a broken marriage that has been a huge part of her life, but I can’t not tell her anymore.
“It’s easy,” I say, smiling as I lean closer. “I love you.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Sadie
His words catch me off guard and my mouth falls open just a little. It’s not like the same words haven’t been floating around in my head for weeks now, but I didn’t dare say them out loud. I didn’t want Paul to think he was my rebound or that I was jumping back into a relationship too quickly.
The connection between us is intense and I felt it the moment we met, but given all my baggage I couldn’t even think about how to process my feelings.
I honestly can’t even process it now, the words falling from my mouth as if they were meant for Paul. Up until this point I don’t think I understood what it meant to fall in love, to be in a relationship with someone who wholeheartedly supported me. It’s all new and different, but in a way that’s made me a better person.
Paul makes my life complete.
“I love you, too,” I respond back, the excitement in my voice coming through loud and clear and I’m sure Paul can feel the pounding of my heart against his chest.
I had no idea that breaking free from Noel would be when my life would finally start, that I had to lose myself before I could finally see where I was meant to be.
Our mouths crash together, both of us laughing a little as I kiss him with fervor and love and happiness.
“So does that mean I should take you home to meet my family, too?” I ask, my question lingering with a teasing quality. “They hated Noel.”
“Everyone hates Noel,” Paul jokes back. “But yes, I’d love to meet your family and find out what they really thought of Noel. I’m excited because he set the bar so low I could show up in my underwear and no one would care.”
“Oh I’m pretty sure they would care,” I shoot back, my fingers slipping under his shirt and tracing the outline of his abdominal muscles.
I begin to slowly suck at his neck, feeling him melt into me, his hands gripping my hips. My connection to him is far more intense than anything I’ve ever felt. Just the touch of his hands, the feeling of his body near mine, causes me to forget the world around us. Everything moves in slow motion and all I feel is him, igniting sparks inside me.
“What do you say we christen this trailer and celebrate the end of filming?” I ask, a cheeky smile on my face, moving my hips against his. There’s something so crazy sexual, so secretive about having sex with Paul as all these people move around the movie set unaware of what’s occurring.
“You don’t have to ask me twice,” he responds, his mouth connecting with mine instantly.
The weeks pass by quickly and post-production is going better than expected. The buzz surrounding the movie is already picking up, talk of Oscars and SAG awards are murmurings on all the film studio executives’ lips lately.
But bigger than my movie is the hype and talk of Roger’s article, spawning more confessions, more articles and the exposing of people just like Noel. At least he has company now.
I had no idea how big it would be when I agreed to help and while I understood the impact it could have, I never dreamed it would become a global movement, that it would change people’s lives. I still have some guilt over the negative impact it’s had, ending careers that have spanned decades, but when you’ve made your bed, you must lie in it.
Paul and I have just landed in London and made our way through customs. Neither one of us can stop smiling, not caring in the least that we’re being followed by the paparazzi as we walk through the airport.
My divorce from Noel made front page headlines for weeks following the article, but since then things have died down. We’re in London to celebrate Roger’s article and Clapboard Films picking up the documentary, so right now I’m the “it” girl everyone wants.
I wave to a few of them, smiling and answering their questions as we walk over to the waiting car Ava had arranged for us.
Ava is Noel’s former assistant and she’s the reason I finally gave in and met with Roger. We maintained a friendship through all of this and she’s helping out with the documentary. Tonight we’ll be partying at her and her husband Lewis’ house and celebrating all the amazing things that have happened since the article went live.
The driver opens the car door and inside is Ava, who screeches out loud when she sees me.
“What are you doing in here?” I ask, laughing at her reaction.
“I wanted to see you. I’m so excited you’re here,” she says, beaming back at me. “I’m just so damn proud of you for…” she stops short of finishing when she sees Paul standing behind me.
“Paul,” she says, smiling boldly as she greets him. It’s been years since they’ve seen each other. “How are you?”
“I’m good. I heard you found yourself some rich guy to be your sugar daddy,” Paul teases, chuckling a little at all the salacious tabloid stories that were written about Ava and her wealthy heir of a husband, Lewis.
“Don’t believe everything you read,” she retorts shaking her head and turning her attention back to me as we climb into the car. “What I was going to say,” Ava starts, “is I’m so damn proud of you for finally leaving Noel and for doing what you knew was right all along.”
“I think that’s how we all feel,” Paul jokes with Ava, both of them shooting me looks that say they’re brilliant.
“Okay, okay. Obviously I know I shouldn’t have stayed so long, but if I hadn’t I wouldn’t have meet either of you, so there,” I say, playing back with the two of them. I shrug my shoulders and wrinkle my nose up at them, basically telling them I won the argument.
After arriving at Ava and Lewis’ house, Paul and I get cleaned up and ready for the party. Despite being exhausted and totally jetlagged, we jump right in. We only have a couple of days here because of our post-production schedule, so we have to make the most of it.
The party is in full swing with people everywhere in the house. Paul is milling about talking with people. He’s far more social than I am and when I watch him interact with people my heart practically leaps from my chest.
He’s so friendly and natural. Nothing about it is forced or fake and I breathe a sigh of relief that this is something I no longer have to worry about. The fear that he’ll say the wrong thing to someone, insult so
meone or start an argument. It’s the reason I avoided public events when I was with Noel and I realize now how much I missed them.
“Hey Sadie,” a voice behind me says and I turn around to find Elizabeth Hutton. “It’s good to see you.”
I struggle to find the right words to say to her. I know I owe her an apology for not coming her defense all those months ago on Noel and my joint movie set.
“Elizabeth, hi,” I start, giving her a gentle smile. “How are you?”
“I’m great. Thanks for asking. I guess I owe you a pretty big thank you for the article and now I hear a documentary.”
Why in the world would she be thanking me?
“I’m sorry, Elizabeth, but you don’t owe me anything. If anyone owes anyone, it’s me. I should’ve reached out to you weeks ago.” I pause, shaking my head. “Actually, never mind that. I should’ve spoken up when Noel attacked you. I should never have let that happen.”
“Sadie, please. I hold no ill will toward you. You are not nor will you ever be in control of what Noel Robinson, or any man for that matter, says or does. I’ve learned a few things along the way,” she says, hitting me with a wink of her eye.
“I know, but it still doesn’t make me feel any less guilty. Any little bit I can do to help is where I want to find myself. This documentary is the least I can do.”
She smiles at me kindly, running her hand down my arm in a comforting way. “I’ve heard great things about your upcoming movie too.”
“Yeah, it’s got some great buzz going already, which is crazy and scary all at the same time.”
“Nah,” she says, shaking her head, a firm look on her face. “I always knew you were the talent in that duo. I’m just glad he’s not still around outshining you.”
“Thank you.”
We chat for a little longer, before Roger calls everyone to his attention. He’s been working on some new leads and plans to turn his article into a series, but for now, he’s excited to share the trailer for our documentary.
There’s a large screen and some speakers set up outside in Ava and Lewis’ massive backyard and the crowd of people has begun to gather around. Most of the people in attendance are women who came forward to share their stories with Roger, but there are also local TV and radio show producers, newspaper reporters and other media. They’re all here for what has been dubbed the documentary of the year and we haven’t even started shooting.
I catch Paul’s eye from across the room and he makes his way over to where I’m standing.
“You ready for this?” he asks, his arm slipping around my waist, pulling me close and kissing my temple.
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”
The short five-minute clip starts to play: a compilation of women talking about how they’ve been harassed, abused or diminished while working in Hollywood. Each of their admissions is stronger than the next and then Noel’s picture flashes on the screen. It takes everything in me not a flinch, not to react to seeing him and knowing he’s the whole reason for this.
The screen cuts to black and the crowd erupts in applause and cheers. My cheeks grow hot and red, but I try to hide my nervousness. Feeling far more humbled than I ever have, I throw a hand up, thanking people for their support.
Roger waves me to the patio where the screen is, asking me to say a few words and I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to find them.
I may be a writer, but that’s not real life. Those are stories, things from my imagination and right now I don’t think I could ever find the right words to do justice for what these people have given in support of my small documentary.
But I owe them something, so I take the spot beside Roger and muster up what I can.
“Sometimes we just need to be the voice for each other. I’m hoping my film will be that for everyone who has ever felt victimized by abuse of power. Thank you for your support,” I quickly shout out, my voice getting caught in my throat, the tears already beginning to well up in my eyes.
Luckily Roger senses my nervousness and takes over. In all of this, I’m as much of a victim as anyone who came forward. Just because I married him didn’t mean I was exempt from his abuse. It’s been a hard pill to swallow and the effects of what I’ve been through are just now starting to catch up with me. I’ve lived in a fog for so long, trying not to let it affect me, but it’s hitting me now as I let it all sink in.
I begin to make my way back toward Paul when Ava stops me, her gorgeous husband by her side, beaming with pride at everything she’s done to help the cause too. I know he was one of many who also witnessed the things Noel did. Next to him is Julia Harris and her boyfriend Aiden Morrissey.
Julia was the first celebrity to appear in the trailer for my documentary. I had enlisted Ava’s help in securing her and while she wasn’t involved in what happened with Noel, she, like many other women in the industry, was treated poorly for years. Now’s her chance to share those stories, to show other women that even though someone says you won’t make it, one day you’ll be bigger than them.
“Thanks for making me look so good,” Julia says, nodding her head and laughing a little.
“It wasn’t me who filmed you. I just pieced it all together with my editors. You should thank your boyfriend.”
“He is pretty great, isn’t he?” she teases, resting her head on his shoulder.
“I’ve heard some great things about your debut,” I say to Aiden directly. “I’d love to be at the premiere in L.A. when it happens.”
“Same with your upcoming movie. I’m sure we can arrange something,” he says, playing along. “Maybe an invite to your screening in London in exchange for mine in L.A.”
“Sounds like a plan,” I tell him as Paul walks up, his arm now resting around my shoulders.
“Your girl is pretty badass,” Ava says, lifting her chin to Paul as the group nods in agreement.
“She really is. It’s too bad she just figured it out now. Imagine what she could’ve been like if she’d known it all along.” He’s teasing me and he pinches my side making me laugh a little.
I roll my eyes and thank everyone again as the crowd begins to mill about, conversations starting back up as Ava and Julia are pulled in different directions.
And as everyone moves away, I lean into Paul even more, wrapping my arms around his waist.
“Thank you,” I murmur just loud enough for only us to hear.
“You did an amazing thing here,” Paul says and for the first time in my life I feel like I can do anything with a man by my side.
Epilogue
Nine months later
Paul
“You nervous?” I whisper in her ear.
Sadie shakes her head even as her hand squeezes mine.
I chuckle. “It’s okay to be nervous,” I tell her.
“I’m not nervous.”
Laughing, I lift our joined hands, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. “Remember, picture everyone naked. It’s supposed to help.”
Sadie shoots me a sideways glance as Elizabeth Hutton walks out to loud applause. I give her a wink before turning back to the stage. It seems fitting she’s the one up there for this and I’m taking it as a good sign of what’s to come.
We all listen as she runs through the nominees, each name getting followed by a ten second clip of the movie they directed. There are a lot of good movies in the mix. A lot of big Hollywood names too. Sadie’s the only female in the group, the only directorial debut too and I know she thinks for these reasons she doesn’t stand a chance.
As Elizabeth gets to the end, Sadie’s practically vibrating in the chair beside me, her leg bouncing and I lower our hands to her thigh to try and calm her. She swallows hard, her eyes fixed on the stage as we all watch Elizabeth open the envelope.
When she smiles at the name inside, I know it’s a done deal, so I turn to Sadie now, watch her reaction as her name is called out for the Best Director award.
It’s fucking priceless when it comes.
Her mo
uth drops open and her eyes widen in surprise.
I feel her hand as it clenches mine like a vice.
I see the beat of her pulse in her neck and I just know her heart is pounding in her chest right now.
And then she turns to face me, a look of wonder and awe and surprise on her face. I smile as I slide a hand around the back of her neck and pull her in for a kiss. “Congratulations baby,” I whisper against her mouth. “You deserve this. So much.”
“Holy shit,” she murmurs, her forehead against mine. “Holy shit, Paul. What do I do? What do…”
Chuckling, I kiss her again. “I think you go up there,” I say, pulling back. “And get your award,” I add, winking as I stand and pull her up with me.
Around us, people are clapping, many of them standing as I pull Sadie into a tight embrace. I can feel her body shaking against mine and I know she’s nervous as hell about going up there, about speaking in front of so many of her peers, about what they think of her in all this.
Especially now.
“You got this,” I whisper, as I gently nudge her into the aisle. “Everyone’s naked, remember?” Her eyes widen and I can’t help but laugh. “Okay, just me then,” I add, giving her a wink.
She shakes her head at me but with a smile this time before turning and walking toward the stage. As she reaches the front row of seats, I see Aiden and Julia as they both stand and embrace her, Aiden as he whispers something in her ear that makes her smile.
He picked up a screenplay award earlier, beating Sadie for that statue but I know she is happy for him. I know this one means more to her tonight, because this one was always Noel’s prize, even when they worked on the movie together.
Not tonight though, because tonight it’s all hers. She isn’t sharing any of it with him and she sure as shit isn’t being overshadowed by him.
Aiden escorts her to the stairs as Elizabeth waits for her, a huge smile on her face. They embrace warmly as Sadie takes her statue and the envelope and then slowly makes her way to the microphone.