by Mia Pride
“I thought ye and Robert would be perfect together. I have kenned him all my life. He is a good man and will be a fine husband and father.”
“Perhaps, to the right woman. I simply wasnae it. He has no interest in marriage, nor being with me.”
Mary looked at her suspiciously and put her hands on her hips, the roundness of her belly starting to show through the linen of her dress, especially when she had an apron tied around her waist. “Ye said ye didnae want love or romance in a marriage, so why would any of that matter?”
Turning around, Elizabeth moved the cooling loaves of bread onto a large wooden tray and placed them across the kitchen with the other loaves. “I dinnae.”
“Then what is the problem?”
“There is no problem. I needed to marry an Irvine, and Reginald was more willing to marry than Robert. So, I chose him. Robert doesnae seem bothered in the least. On the contrary, he seems rather relieved. So ye see, all is well.” Her stomach clenched for the hundredth time that day. Despite being surrounded by the savory scents of bread and stew, Elizabeth had been unable to eat a bite, her stomach choosing to protest in agony instead. What was done, was done, she reminded herself silently, also for the hundredth time.
“Ye dinnae expect me to believe such hogwash. I ken ye care for him, Lizzie. It makes no sense.”
“Mayhap it is precisely for that reason I chose Reginald. Neither of us want more from this. There is no expectation, no deeper connection.”
“No risk of being hurt.”
Elizabeth looked at Mary and began to walk to the garden. She did not need to be questioned about her decision and nothing could undo it, even if she wished to, not that she did. The fresh air of the afternoon cooled her sweat-slicked skin as a gentle breeze brushed her neck. The kitchens were hotter than the pits of hell, she vowed. Yet, the Lady of Drum Castle helped where she was needed. However, all was prepared for the nooning meal and the men would be gathering soon, ready to devour their food.
Everything in the castle had felt chaotic with the preparations for her wedding feast. All she wished to do was hide in her chamber and not come out for as long as it took for everyone to forget she existed. As of now, she seemed to be all anyone could think about, or worse, speak about. And, not all the words had been kind. Many were angry at her and Reginald for sneaking behind Robert’s back. Most felt sorry for their laird, mistaking his stress over the death of his brother and becoming a laird as a broken heart. That only made her roll her eyes. They truly did not know him if they believed him to be saddened by her actions. Robert had proven more than once that Elizabeth was an obligation and not one he wished to manage.
“So, ye arenae going to speak to me, now?”
Her mind had been wandering all day, and Elizabeth seemed to forget what she was doing every few moments. “Och, I am sorry, Mary. I just have a lot on my mind. How are ye feeling?”
“I have been feeling ill in the mornings, but well otherwise. He is growing. I wish his father was here to watch him grow.” The watering of Mary’s eyes made Elizabeth feel like a cursed fool. She was so busy feeling sorry for herself that she had not been a good friend.
“I havenae been here for ye. I am sorry.” Gripping her hand, Elizabeth gave Mary a sad smile, wondering what her companion would do about her situation. It was not at all acceptable for a young unmarried woman to be with child. She would need to find a husband soon or go to a nunnery, but these thoughts were better left unsaid, as she was certain Mary was aware of the situation.
“Ye have had a lot going on, as well. Ye lost one husband and took another so verra quickly. And speaking of yer husband, here he comes now.”
Before Elizabeth could turn around, she felt an arm slip around her waist from behind and quickly turn her around. “Greetings, Wife.” Looking up, she found herself in Reginald’s arms, face to face with him as he looked down at her with a cheeky smile. Puzzled as to why he was being so affectionate, she stiffened, flinching when she saw Robert standing beside him, a deep brooding look on his face as he stared menacingly at her.
Pulling away swiftly, she cleared her throat. “Greetings. Are ye done with training?”
“Aye. ’Tis time for the nooning. I came to fetch my bonnie bride so we may share our first meal together.”
Robert grunted and stormed off toward the keep, his bare back glistening with sweat as every muscle bunched with each step he took. Swallowing hard, Elizabeth stood there doing everything she could not to stare at her husband’s brother. This was going to be a harder feat than she ever expected, and just because she did not marry the man did not mean she suddenly stopped having feelings for him – only now they were wholly inappropriate and most sinful.
Looping her arm in his, she allowed him to walk her back to the keep in silence, the entire time pondering why Robert seemed so angry if he truly hated her so much. She had thought only to make his life easier by not forcing him to marry her, yet he seemed angrier than ever. Looking over her shoulder, she saw Mary who shrugged and scrunched up her face in confusion. At least Elizabeth was not the only one who was shocked by Robert’s behavior.
Entering the keep, her chest constricted with a slight panic as she realized all eyes were on them. Robert was already at the front of the head table, sitting down beside his uncle and paying no attention to anything else, which was preferable to his scowls.
Escorting her toward the table, Reginald pulled out the chair beside Robert, which was reserved for the Lady of Drum. Though she had been acting as such, never had it crossed her mind she would be required to sit beside him at dinner. Until he married, she still maintained the position, so she sat down slowly and turned her body away from Robert to avoid any more unpleasantries, still unsure about the source of his hostility. The thought of Robert marrying someone else and having to see him with a wife every day made any appetite she had worked up vanish, replaced by a cruel gnawing in the pit of her stomach. Why was this so hard? Mayhap she would have been better off leaving Drum altogether.
Using his knife to cut the best piece of meat and place it on her side of their shared trencher, Reginald smiled. “Dinnae worry about my sour brother. He is only experiencing his first feelings of jealousy in his entire life and isnae certain how to manage them.”
Elizabeth clutched her pearls and shook her head. “Oh, I wouldnae say ’tis jealousy. Reginald. He hasnae cared for me from the verra start. He was only kind to me because Alex needed him to be. I’ve been naught but in the way since my arrival.”
“That is the most untrue thing I have ever heard. Everybody here loves ye, Elizabeth. The staff ken ye work hard and in such a short amount of time, ye have made Drum yer home and earned their respect.” Reginald stuffed a bite of meat into his mouth and she did her best to take a wee bite as well, not wanting to be rude.
Her elbow bumped with Robert’s and she flinched, feeling gooseflesh crawl up her body. Why did the smallest touch affect her in such a way? Being so close to him was proving already to be impossible. Her reaction to him was visceral and unexpected, unlike anything she had ever expected to feel in her lifetime. Hoping to be done with this meal and back to her duties, she forced a few more bites, quietly excused herself from the table, and slid as silently as possible past the screens and into the kitchen where she felt mildly more at ease, despite the constant chaos. Chaos was a distraction she understood. Robert, however, was not. Nor was the guilt of feeling this way for her husband’s brother, even if Reginald knew their marriage would never be more than convenient. Nothing felt convenient so far, but it had not even been a day, she reminded herself.
Heading through the back, she walked toward the stables, deciding to check on her favorite mare, Aina, who was breeding and very close to foaling. Sometimes just being in the stables with the horses reminded her of childhood back in Dunnottar. She would help groom the horses with her brother and their marshal after long rides across their lands. The wind blowing through her hair had made her feel free as a bird and she
longed for that feeling once more. It had been so long since she went for ride all alone.
Walking past a few stables, she turned to her left and opened the gate, petting Aina under her chin with one hand and on top of her head with the other. “Well, hello sweet lassie. How are ye feeling today? Ye look as if ye are ready to give birth, are ye not?” The mare nuzzled deeper into Elizabeth’s hand and snorted, making her laugh. She missed the company of horses. They were loyal, yet stubborn creatures and always very intelligent. They could read people. Her mother had always told her a man could be known by the treatment and respect of his horse, and she had found that to be true.
Feeding Aina a carrot, Elizabeth ran her hands a few times through her thick silky mane before shutting the gate once more and allowing Aina to lay down once more to rest. She was almost as wide as she was tall and looked uncomfortable at best.
It was just after midday and though it was nearly August, the weather had turned windy and overcast, creating a wonderful breeze that Elizabeth was suddenly determined to enjoy before going back to her duties. She had left early, so everyone else was likely still finishing their meals, giving her time to seek a bit of solitude and test out a smaller mare she had had her eye on since arriving at Drum.
Walking a bit further into the stalls and looking to her right, Elizabeth got on her tiptoes and peeked over the gate she knew held Fianna, a mare just two years of age appearing to be mild in temper, well trained thanks to the superior marshal at Drum, and the perfect size for Elizabeth to mount easily enough even without a mounting block. Looking at the saddles hanging on the wall, Elizabeth chewed her bottom lips, then smirked, deciding if she was going to go on a spontaneous ride to enjoy the fresh air and open fields south of Drum leading to the River Dee, she may as well ride without a saddle. Her mother would be appalled, but nobody was around to bother or care and she was a married woman now, determined to find joy in anything she could.
Opening the gate, Elizabeth signaled Fianna forward, petting her soothingly before placing the bit in her mouth, sliding on the bridle and guiding her out by the reins. “That’s a good wee lassie,” Elizabeth soothed and continued to lead her out into the brightness of the low white clouds that caused Elizabeth to squint until she adjusted to the light. Fianna followed and Elizabeth took a moment to feed her a carrot and talk to her soothingly before she was ready to mount. Removing her short leather boots and stockings, Elizabeth set them aside before hopping up with the ease she had learned through a lifetime of riding. Skirts bunched up around her knees, Elizabeth smiled and tugged the ribbon out of her hair, allowing it to blow freely in the wind.
Freedom. It would be short lived, she knew but, for the moment, it was hers. Squeezing the horse’s flanks with her strong thighs, Fianna took off toward the wide-open plains, two wild women, thirsty for adventure.
Chapter Twelve
When Elizabeth abruptly left the head table, Robert looked over at Reginald, curious why she had fled before the meal was finished. Reginald looked up from his trencher and smiled widely at Robert, causing him to shake his head. Whatever had happened did not seem to concern Reginald at all. Mayhap the marriage truly was only one of convenience. Reginald had made enough comments about Elizabeth’s bonnie features and ample breasts for Robert to know he was attracted to her, but beyond that, he could not see any true love match between the two… not that it should bother him either way. Nay, he had been relieved to not require a bride just now, even if it would be necessary to take a wife soon enough as laird, and Elizabeth was the only woman he could have ever truly been happy with. None of that mattered now, and he was relieved to avoid any romantic complications.
Speaking with his uncle about more of the lands he needed to manage and the tenants who still owed for the season, Robert’s head was beginning to ache. The wedding was to take place tomorrow afternoon, followed by a grand feast, but now it would just be a feast and it would not involve him at all, freeing him from any involvement other than attendance, which still felt like burden enough. Word had caught his ears that Elizabeth had been hard at work in the kitchens, helping to prepare for the feast, which was most unusual for a bride and he found he rather respected her desire to work hard and help as needed, never worrying about getting her hands dirty. She was running Drum quite well, though once he married, she would be replaced, not to mention she would be having a wee bairn by next fall, which would surely slow her down for a while. Was that why she left so quickly? Mayhap something was wrong with the child?
“Where did Elizabeth rush off to?” Robert asked his brother, doing his best not to sound overly concerned, but it was Alexander’s child, after all, and he felt responsible for its care and wellbeing as an uncle and laird.
“Why do ye care?” Reginald said calmly, poking at the last big chunk of meat on his trencher.
“I was only curious. She seemed in a rush.”
Shrugging, Reginald looked up. “I dinnae tell my wife where she can or cannae go. She is free to do as she wishes.”
Robert rubbed his beard. “Why did ye marry her? I ken ye dinnae wish to marry any more than I did. Do ye love her?”
Sputtering on the large gulp of ale he had just taken, Reginald pounded his chest and coughed until his face turned red. “I have been married to the woman for less than a day, and ye think I am in love with the lass?”
“Then why did ye take her from me?” Robert growled, then clenched his jaw shut, knowing he was not doing well to hide his emotions. The words came out of his mouth so quickly, he cursed himself for being a jealous fool.
Crooking a brow, Reginald snorted. “Did I? Ye said ye didnae want a wife.”
“Nor did ye,” Robert shot back. “But, I was contracted to wed with her and my last promise to Alexander was that I would make sure Elizabeth is cared for.”
“Aye, and she is. I vow to take verra good care of her.” He waggled his brows and slowly sipped his ale without breaking eye contact. Robert pursed his lips and took a deep breath, doing all he could not to cause a scene and start a fight in the middle of the keep. “Is that what this is all about? Yer promise to Alexander?” Reginald added slowly, narrowing his eyes at Robert.
“Aye,” Robert shot back, believing that to be a far better response than admitting he was jealous of his younger, arse of a brother.
“Well then, ye neednae worry. He simply wanted peace, and peace has been made. Now, ye can breathe easy, Brother.”
“Ye havenae answered why ye married her.”
Putting his cup down slowly, Reginald wiped his beard and let out a low belch. “Ye truly wish to ken why?” Robert met his gaze, narrowed his eyes, and nodded once in response. “Because the lass cannae stand ye and begged me to marry her so she wouldnae have to marry ye after ye insulted her. She threatened to run off to her own lands otherwise. Furthermore, she has the verra best tits I have ever seen, and I wished to hear her beg while she laid naked in my bed. That’s why.”
Belly churning with disgust as his veins flowed with the fire of his rage, Robert swiftly stood up from his chair and caused it to scrape across the floor with a resounding echo just as he swung his right fist with all his might, landing a blow across Reginald’s jaw.
Laughing like a madman, Reginald jumped up and threw Robert to the ground, punching him once in the nose as he sat astride him. Gasps from the crowd drifted to Robert’s ears, but he did not care. He had been itching for a fight since his return home, and Reginald was always willing to give him one. Never had Robert truly wished to hurt his brother as he did now.
“Eh, the Irvine men like to rough each other up now and again. ’Tis no bother,” his uncle grunted to the crowd, no doubt sipping on his ale slowly and staring into nothingness.
But this wasn’t any usual fight between brothers. Reginald had taken the only woman Robert had ever truly felt something more than lust for. He and Elizabeth had a connection and even though she was upset with him, Robert thought he had a lifetime to make up for his cruelty to her.
Now, instead, he was forced to spend a lifetime watching her with Reginald. And the images his brother put in his head had only driven him to the brink of madness.
“Ye shouldnae speak about yer wife like she is whore!” Robert grunted as he rolled over, pinning Reginald beneath him and getting in another good blow, this time to the nose. “Especially with her condition!”
Jumping off his brother, Robert wiped at the blood he felt trickling out of the split in his lip. Looking down once more at Reginald, he shook his head and said lowly, so only he could hear. “Dinnae disrespect her in my presence ever again.”
Storming down the aisle toward the keep’s large wooden door, he saw all eyes on him as he flew past, needing fresh air to calm his inflamed nerves. His fists shook as the rage ebbed through him. Reginald had taken Elizabeth in the dead of night, only so he could have his way with her freely and claim it was done for peace between the clans. But Robert had known his brother wanted her from the first moment he saw her, even if only physically. Though marrying a lass just to bed her was a bold move, even for Reginald. He enjoyed a challenge and the chase. Forever was not something he had ever considered. Yet, nor had Robert until he was faced with it.
Shouting curses into the increasingly aggressive wind, he was surprised at the chill in the air. The sun was high and shining through the low clouds as his stride picked up. Reaching the outer bailey, he turned toward the stables, deciding he needed to get away for a while, to ride as hard as he could until exhaustion overtook him, or he could mayhap think straight.
As he approached, he saw their marshal, Finlay, a middle-aged man who had kept the horses for his father for several years, shoveling fresh hay into the stables before looking up to greet him. “Good day, my laird. Care for me to saddle Fodla?”
“Nay, I shall do so myself, but thank ye.”
“I can see ye need a ride after another disagreement with yer brother. Ye lads have always been the same.” His gaze went to Robert’s split lip, but he didn’t bother to wipe away the fresh blood. Nodding, he walked into the stables toward Fodla’s stall.