Erin nodded. “That would be nice. Homemade—or handcrafted—is always better than the factory-produced stuff.” The bun was rather limp and anemic-looking. She should have taken the opportunity to market her baked goods to the restaurant, and any of the other restaurants and shops in town that sold commercial breads, before Davis had come back to town. She’d missed an opportunity to get in ahead of him.
But her business had been pretty brisk. She hadn’t had a lot of time to market anything outside of the shop. She’d said before that there was enough business in Bald Eagle Falls for two bakeries. The fact that the restaurants were using store-bought buns was just further evidence of that. There were other niches and opportunities to be explored that Erin hadn’t even considered.
She cut into her roast beef and glanced up at Davis, waiting for him to leave. But he leaned back against the chair and stretched, settling himself in rather than making any sign that he intended to leave. Erin wasn’t sure how else to indicate to him that she would prefer to eat alone.
“I missed you after the funeral,” Davis said. “I know you were there; I saw you and your friend come in. But afterward… I looked for you, and you weren’t there. I wanted to introduce you to some of the out-of-town guests. And thank you again, for everything you did for Trenton.”
“I’m sorry. Vic—my assistant—she wasn’t feeling very well after the funeral, so we left pretty quickly.” She tried to shift the conversation away from herself. “It was a very nice service though. Good attendance. You must have been pleased.”
He gave an uncaring shrug. “Everyone just wanted to come and have a look. It was more about seeing the boy who disappeared twenty years ago than it was about paying their respects. He didn’t have any friends left.”
“Well, there must have been some of his old school friends there. And the family members who came. Joelle. And you, of course.”
Davis opened his mouth, his expression twisted, ready to shoot something sarcastic at her. Then he closed it again. He started fiddling with the salt shaker. He wasn’t leaving, and he wasn’t pursuing the conversation. Erin felt more and more uncomfortable as the silence drew out.
“So, you’re taking over The Bake Shoppe now?” she asked.
“Yeah, of course. I’m Trenton’s only surviving relative. Everything he owned comes to me. The lawyer says I have to apply to have my father declared dead, and then I can pursue the estate. He said it isn’t difficult, but it will take a while.” Davis sighed. “Not like I want to hang around here with nothing to do while I wait. ‘A while’ could be weeks or months. Stuck in this one-horse town without being able to access what’s rightfully mine.”
“That’s too bad.” Erin decided that eating quickly was her only hope. Get the food down and get back to Auntie Clem’s, away from Davis.
Davis had fallen silent again. Erin could see what Melissa had meant about him being dark and depressive. He sat there brooding, negativity rolling off of him like heat waves.
“I’m so sorry about you losing your mother and brother,” Erin offered. “It must be very difficult for you, losing them both so close together. I lost both of my parents—”
“That’s what you said before,” David cut in. “But I don’t think that means you have any idea the kind of pain I’m in. The kind of life that I’ve led.”
“No, I didn’t mean that. I just meant… I know what it’s like to be left without a family… and to have a couple of members of my family killed tragically, so close together.”
“You don’t have any idea the crap I’ve had to go through.”
“No. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you, losing your father like that.”
He looked at her sharply. “What do you mean?” he snapped.
“I’m not prying. I’m sorry. I just knew… I mean, I heard about how your father disappeared, all of those years ago. I was thinking how hard it must have been, not knowing what had ever happened to him.”
He stared at her, eyes sharp and intense. What did he see when he looked at her? A stranger who was sympathetic? A busybody prying into his business? A potential enemy, just looking for a way to cheat him out of his rightful business? She tried to smile reassuringly, all the while shoveling the bland meal into her mouth so she could get back to the bakery. She wanted to salt the food, but Davis was still playing with the salt shaker and she didn’t want to ask him for it.
“What do you know about my father?” Davis demanded. “He hasn’t been around here for years.”
“No. I know. I didn’t know him. Obviously. And I’ve only heard that he disappeared, and no one knew what had happened to him…”
“He abandoned us. There’s no mystery to it. People made a lot bigger deal of it than it ever was.”
“I didn’t know. I guess there’s been a lot of speculation about what happened. But if you know he just abandoned you, then won’t you have to conduct a search for him, rather than having him declared dead? I mean, you don’t know, he could still be around, living on his own or with another family.”
He glared at her. “I’ve already searched. He’s gone. Probably died years ago. There’s no point in wasting more money on detectives or advertising for him. He’s long since gone.”
Erin nodded. “Okay. Of course. You know what’s been done and what’s best.”
“Yeah.”
“How old were you and Trenton when he… disappeared?” She quickly corrected himself. “I mean, when he abandoned you? When he… left?”
His eyes were suspicious. Maybe he was regretting approaching her now. She hadn’t meant to upset him, but he was the one who had sat down with her and brought up his father.
“I was thirteen.” He turned away from her, looking out the window at the street. She could see his Adam’s apple working up and down. In spite of the face and body of the grown man sitting in front of her, she saw the young teenager he had been. The heartbreak of being abandoned as a young man by the person who was supposed to be his best example and mentor. Yes, he had lived a hard life as the result of his own choices. But he hadn’t chosen to be abandoned like that. The trauma was not his fault. “Do you know how young that is?” Davis said accusingly. “My mother said we were old enough to act like men and not whine about it. That she expected us to act like grown-ups. Stop being such babies. And I thought she was right. I thought that I was just weak.”
Erin laid down her fork. Her instinct was to put her hand over his to convey her sincerity, but she was afraid he would misinterpret the gesture. So, she kept her hands by her plate.
“She shouldn’t have done that,” she said. “Thirteen is not an adult, and she shouldn’t have expected you to be one. Thirteen-year-olds’ brains are still developing. Their hormones are all over the place. They’re just figuring out who they are.”
“And I didn’t much like who I found out I was.” Davis’s voice was low and bitter. He turned his gaze back away from the window and looked Erin in the face. “But we can’t change who we are, even if we don’t like it. You can’t hide from yourself. I should know. I spent over two decades trying. And so did Trenton. Just in different ways.”
Erin nodded.
He blinked. She thought from the roughness in his voice that he was close to crying, but his eyes were dry and tearless. Davis got slowly to his feet.
“You seem like a nice lady. I’m not sure what I expected you to be like. Maybe I expected you to be like her. I want you to know that I don’t blame you for Trenton’s death. The cupcakes weren’t your fault. And it wasn’t your fault that you couldn’t save him. It was just time for him to go… for the last time.”
Erin nodded. “Thank you. It’s been hard, knowing that something I made, something that was supposed to be safe, was what killed him.”
“That’s not what killed him.”
Erin raised her eyes to Davis’s, startled. She knew the cupcakes, and his allergy to them were Trenton’s cause of death.
“She killed him,” Davis
said. Erin knew he was speaking of his mother, and the way she had treated him at thirteen years old, expecting him and fifteen-year-old Trenton to be mature men when they were still on the cusp of childhood.
Angela had killed their spirits, had driven them both away. Was she responsible for her son’s death in her bakery so many years later? Erin wasn’t sure Angela could be blamed for the actions they had taken decades later. But she wasn’t going to argue with Davis over how he felt about it.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I really am.”
Chapter Thirteen
ERIN WAS PHYSICALLY AND emotionally exhausted when she got home. She hadn’t realized just how hard it was to run the bakery herself without her assistant. Vic had become a part of the business, and Erin just couldn’t do it without her. The lunchtime discussion with Davis and the various customers who came through the bakery wanting to catch a glimpse of Vic or who talked to Erin about her had all worn her out emotionally so that she could barely put two thoughts together and felt like either going to sleep or bursting into tears. Or both.
She made the quick trip home, and for a few minutes, just sat in the car in front of the house, looking at it. Lights were on. Vic was up and out of bed, or the only light would have been in her room. So, she must be feeling better and was hopefully prepared to work at the bakery the next day. As long as she wasn’t going to run away to somewhere else where she could keep the details of her gender identity secret. Erin didn’t know how she would handle it if Vic decided to leave town. And the possibility had to be considered.
Erin took several long, even breaths. She wanted her body to be completely calm and relaxed. Breathe away all of the tension she had been storing in her muscles all day. Loosen up and just be relaxed for her evening with Vic, whatever it was going to bring.
Then she went in.
Vic wasn’t in the living room and didn’t run out to see her when she entered the house, but Orange Blossom did. He made several long howls and a series of short yips of greeting like he couldn’t decide whether to be upset that she had been away for so long or happy that she had finally returned. She knew she was putting her own thoughts into the head of an animal who probably didn’t think anything like she did. But she couldn’t help assigning him human thoughts and feelings.
“Hello, cuddles,” Erin greeted, scooping the cat up and holding him against her face. He was so soft and silky, and he immediately started purring as soon as he was in her arms. He kept making little mrrrow noises, showing his pleasure at her being home and the ear scratches and cuddles she gave him.
“Yes, Mommy’s home,” Vic said, coming out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron. “You would think I had been neglecting him all day, rather than indulging His Majesty’s every whim,” Vic complained. “But no, when Mom comes home, forget about anything I did for him.”
“He appreciates you too,” Erin assured her. She walked up to Vic and hugged her around the shoulders, allowed her to scratch Orange Blossom’s ears, and then they walked into the kitchen together. The house was filled with wonderful smells, and Erin tried to sort them all out, even though most of the dishes were covered so she couldn’t see them.
“Everything smells heavenly in here. Did you spend all day cooking?”
“No, just the last little while. It does smell good, doesn’t it?” Vic took a deep inhale.
“It sure does. Is that… lasagna? And glazed carrots? And…”
Vic laughed. “No one could ever doubt your nose! Yes! Now, why don’t you go shower off, change into some comfy jammies, and then come back and we’ll eat?”
“You don’t want to eat first? It looks like everything is ready. You don’t want it to dry out.”
“It will keep for that long. I know what it’s like at the end of a long day at work, and you had to do both of our jobs today. Wash out the sweat and the flour and get some hot water on those muscles. Then you can put up your feet and relax.”
“Okay,” Erin agreed. “I’m not going to argue.” She flipped the cat over in her arms so that he was lying on his back with his feet and belly in the air. “And would kitty like a shower too?” she crooned to him.
Orange Blossom purred away, oblivious to the meaning of her words. Erin put him down in the hallway before going into the bathroom to follow Vic’s suggestion and get herself nice and relaxed and sparkling clean for supper.
She was glad Vic was apparently feeling better. She was up, dressed, makeup expertly applied, and a smile on her face. She hadn’t sat around all day feeling sorry for herself but had thought about what kind of a day that Erin would be having and had made them something special.
Vic was going to be okay.
Erin was probably under the hot water in the shower way too long. For sure the lasagna would be getting dried out before they could eat it. The water was starting to cool off, which meant she had emptied the hot water tank. Erin got out, toweled off, and was dressed in her flannels and ready for supper in ten minutes.
“I hope this tastes as good as it smells,” Vic said. “I’ve helped make lasagna before, but this is my first time doing it all by myself.”
“I’m thinking you did something right.” Erin took a big bite of the too-hot lasagna, searing the inside of her mouth. But she smiled and swallowed it anyway. “Best thing I’ve put in my mouth in my life,” she proclaimed.
“Good thing you’re not prone to exaggeration.”
“It is seriously good. I’m thinking I’m wasting your talents at the bakery. You should have your own full-blown restaurant. Where did you get the recipe? Don’t tell me that you just remembered it all off the top of your head from making it with your mom.”
“No! Clementine’s recipe books.”
Erin vaguely remembered having seen recipe books in the kitchen. One of the cupboards, but she wasn’t sure which one. She usually got her recipes for the bakery off the internet and didn’t own a lot of recipe books. Clementine’s recipe books had only vaguely interested her since she knew they wouldn’t have the specialty recipes she would need for the bakery.
“Oh. I guess there are.” Erin ate for a few minutes in silence. But it wasn’t like the silence at the restaurant with Davis. It was a friendly, companionable silence. Just two friends enjoying a great meal together. “So how was your day?”
“I couldn’t sleep much past seven,” Vic said. “Maybe I should have gotten myself together and gone to join you at the bakery, but I just… didn’t feel up to it. I needed to get my head together and figure out what I was going to do.”
Erin nodded. “It’s not going to be easy to face people,” she said. “They’re not all going to be polite about it like Mary Lou was. And that was bad enough.”
“I know. But I’m ready now. It will be okay.”
“Good. I sure missed you today. I really need you there to help me. Running a bakery is not a one-person job. And we’ve got the Founder’s Day celebration to prepare for.”
“Sorry for abandoning you.”
“Everyone is entitled to a sick day. And you’ve more than repaid me for all of the extra work. This is all just divine.”
“It is pretty good,” Vic agreed. “So, who did you see today?”
Erin reached back. It seemed more like three days than just one. She told Vic the names of the regulars who had come through. She kept mum on the people who had come through just to look at Vic or harangue her about her life. Vic didn’t need to hear any of that.
“Did you hear from William Andrews at all?” she asked. “I told him to give you a call or stop by to see you mid-morning. I didn’t figure you’d be able to stay in bed all day.”
“Good call. Uh… he did call… I saw his name on the Caller ID. But… I didn’t answer it.”
Erin rested her fork. Orange Blossom was complaining and nipping at Erin’s calves, and she pushed him away with her foot. “Why wouldn’t you answer it? You like Willie.”
Vic’s face flushed. “I know I do. But I didn’t know how
he would react to the news, and I didn’t want… I just didn’t want to face whatever he might have to say. If he talked about it like Mary Lou, or if he was disgusted that I’d ever been near him… that we might have… gotten close…”
“No, no. He was really nice about it. He said that he didn’t understand everything, but that he knew what it was like to be ostracized, and he wanted to be there to support you. He was very nice about it.”
Vic’s expression was still worried. Erin had expected her to brighten up at this news.
“But he didn’t say… that he was okay with it.” Vic stepped awkwardly around the issue. “About… him being a guy… and me… not being… me being transgender. It’s not something a lot of guys will accept. They don’t want to… get involved.”
“Well, no,” Erin admitted. Her face was burning, and she couldn’t pretend that it was the heat of the day or the oven. While she was fully supportive of Vic and would defend her to her dying breath, she couldn’t predict how men were going to feel about having a relationship with a transgender girl. She didn’t imagine it would be smooth sailing. “I don’t know how he’s going to feel about any of that. But he said he wanted you to know that you had his support and that he wouldn’t exclude you. So… that’s good.”
Vic nodded. She crossed her arms in front of her, looking vulnerable and alone. “I guess I’ll call him back, then. There’s no way to know how it’s going to go if I avoid him.”
“That’s right. Maybe the two of you could go out somewhere. Just have a drink and a talk. I mean, you could be here. I would stay out of the way. But if you wanted to go somewhere else, that would be okay too.”
“Are you sure?”
“Why wouldn’t I be sure?”
“Because… you like him. You don’t want me to get involved with him because you like him.”
“We don’t know if you’re ever going to get involved with him. For now, we’re just talking about a friend. A couple of friends having a drink together. So, yes. I’m okay with that.”
“What if it gets to be more?”
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