“I did.”
“You could’ve been hurt, Charlie!” He practically exploded as he glared at me. “What would’ve happened if that woman had done something to you? What if she was involved? What if she overpowered you? She could’ve taken you anywhere and there’s nothing I could’ve done to help.”
I understood he was talking from a place of strength. In his mind, he was head of security. That made him the strongest individual in our group. That wasn’t reality, though.
“I wanted to try,” I shot back. “I don’t like being treated like everyone’s little sister. There are times I can be helpful. I thought that’s what I was doing today. I hoped I could come up with a name and help point you guys in the right direction.
“Believe it or not, I wasn’t trying to be a hero or purposely stupid,” I continued. “I only wanted to help.”
“And you don’t feel as if I allow you to contribute?”
The question caught me off guard. “I feel as if you want to protect me. It’s not a bad instinct, but it’s smothering sometimes. Since we started dating, you’ve been worse. I want to be a fully-functioning member of the team. I want to matter.”
“You matter to me.”
“I know. You matter to me, too. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just ... wanted to help.”
“I know.” He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. “This is hard for me, Charlie. I’ve never been in this position. I never thought I would be the sort of person who dated a co-worker. That always seemed a distraction I didn’t need.”
I swallowed hard. “Is this when you dump me?”
His eyes flashed with something I couldn’t quite identify. “Do you want me to dump you?”
“No! I care about you so much it makes my head spin sometimes. I don’t want to lose you. Even more than that, I don’t want to lose myself. I can’t be something other than what I am.”
“What you are is inquisitive and enthusiastic,” he said. “I knew that when we got involved. Those are two of the qualities that attracted me to you from the start. The thing is, Charlie, we have to come to a meeting of the minds here.
“You are a full member of this group whether you believe it or not,” he continued. “You are smart and you can figure things out faster than most of us combined. That doesn’t mean you’re infallible.
“We’re in this relationship and I don’t see that changing,” he said. “I want to be with you. I want to protect you. You want some level of independence. You say you want to be with me.”
“I do want to be with you,” I said hurriedly. “The last few weeks have been the best of my life. I didn’t know it was possible to be this happy.”
“Oh, geez.” He dropped his head in his hands. “You’re so earnest it’s painful at times. God help me, I like that about you, too. We need to compromise. I have to find a way to let you follow your instincts and you have to find a way to allow me to be part of the fight. You’re not alone any longer. We’re in this together.”
I was stunned. “Does that mean you’re not dumping me?”
He almost looked amused when he raised his head. “No. I’m not dumping you. It would take so much more than that to get rid of me.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah.”
I hopped to my feet and crossed to him, sliding into the chair with him. He grabbed my legs and turned me so I was crosswise on top of him. He smiled when I leaned close.
“I’m sorry. I just ... wanted to help.”
“I know.” He kissed the tip of my nose and wrapped his arms around me. “Charlie, I want this to work. I feel in the depths of my soul that it’s going to work. But you have to meet me halfway. That means you can’t run off half-cocked.”
“What if there’s no other choice?”
“Then ... text me to tell me what you’re going to do. That has to be the minimum compromise here. I want to keep you safe. It’s not just because we’re dating. We’re members of the same group.”
“I get it.” I did. We both would have to step up our efforts if we expected to meet in the middle. “I’m sorry.”
“I know.” He tipped up my chin and gave me a soft kiss. “I’m going to spank you later for this. I hope you know that.”
I cocked an eyebrow. “Is it going to be in a dirty way?”
“Yes.”
“Fine. I’ll take my punishment with a smile and a giggle.”
He cracked a legitimate grin. “All right. Come here a second.” He sighed as he embraced me. “Laura is going to be really upset that we’re not breaking up.”
“Yeah, well, Laura is a jerk. I can’t wait to rub it in.”
“That makes two of us. But I want five minutes of quiet first.”
“I can live with that.”
“Good. Once we’re done, we’ll head to the lobby. Everyone is meeting there before dinner. We still have no idea what we’re going to do.”
I was officially right there with them. We were at a crossroads and there was no sign telling us which way to turn. Something was coming – I could feel it – but we weren’t yet prepared to deal with it.
I was afraid … and I had no idea what to do about it.
Twenty-Seven
Jack seemed okay on the surface when we made our way down to the lobby. Everyone agreed to set up shop there for an hour before breaking to eat. I could tell he was troubled, though.
During the past few weeks I’d gotten used to a series of small touches on his part. He put his hand to my back, stroked my hair or even brushed his fingertips against mine if we were on a job and couldn’t draw attention to ourselves. He did none of those things now.
“I want to buy you dinner tonight,” I announced when we settled in chairs away from everybody. We were close to the front desk — and Emeline was behind it working, although she looked nervous — so I figured now was the time to spring my news on him. “I think we should eat alone.”
He cast me a sidelong look that was hard to read. “I think Chris wants everyone to eat together,” he said finally. “Maybe when we’re done with this.”
Maybe. He was already pulling away. “Jack ... .”
He stopped me by holding up a hand. “I don’t think this is the time to talk about this.”
“You’re still angry.”
“I can’t simply forget that you lied to me, Charlie. It’s going to take time. I’m not angry as much as … disappointed. I’m sorry.”
He tagged that last bit on to make me feel bad. I’m sorry. It was to let me know that he wasn’t sorry and he shouldn’t have to be. He was right. I was the one who wandered off because instinct told me it was the thing to do. I couldn’t exactly explain that to him, so ... here we were.
“Right.” I rubbed my forehead and sank deeper into my chair. “I guess I’ll just sit here and stare at the wall.”
“That would be great,” Jack said with faux brightness.
Laura sat on one of the couches in the middle of the room and scowled. “Why are you guys still sitting together?”
“We’re working,” Jack replied. “Mind your own business, Laura.”
I pinned her with a hateful look because it was one of the only things I could do. “Yes, mind your own business,” I grumbled. “If you would just mind your own business we’d all be better off.”
“Oh, what are you complaining about?” Laura snapped. “He obviously didn’t break up with you. He might be upset, but you haven’t been kicked to the curb. I don’t understand that.”
“You can’t understand anything,” I complained. “You’re completely and totally ... useless.”
“It takes one to know one,” Laura said in a sing-song voice.
“Knock it off,” Jack ordered, his eyes landing on me. “I mean it.”
I was in the doghouse and desperately wanted out, so I had no choice but to comply. He was entitled to his anger. I lied to him, made him feel vulnerable. I should’ve realized a five-minute argument wasn’t going to cut it. He
was waiting until we were back home to have a serious discussion.
That left me with a ball of dread in the pit of my stomach. With nothing better to do, I focused on Emeline. “Do you know Madame Brenna? She owns a voodoo store about two blocks from here. She’s a little ... weird.”
Emeline stared blankly at me for a long beat, so long that I thought she was going to ignore me before she perked up. “I know who you’re talking about. She has quite the reputation in the Quarter.”
“What can you tell me about her?” I rubbed my damp palms on the knees of my jeans. “I mean ... what sort of rumors have you heard?”
Jack knit his eyebrows but didn’t ask the obvious question. He clearly wanted to know why I was so interested in Madame Brenna.
“She has a terrible reputation,” Emeline replied. She was busy organizing files so she didn’t look up. I was fine with that. It made what I had to do easier. “People say she’s crazy.”
“Crazy how?” Jack asked, avoiding the curious look I shot him.
“She really believes she’s magical.”
“You don’t believe in magic?” I asked. “Even after what happened?”
“I ... .” Emeline broke off and chewed her bottom lip. “I guess that’s a fair question. I’m still not sure what happened. The coroner’s office called and said I don’t have to pay to inter Barry a second time. They’re going to do it for me.
“They acted as if I should be thankful for that,” she continued with a hollow laugh. “Like that’s supposed to make me feel better. What happens if he gets up and goes wandering again? Will he come here? Will he go after me?”
She was afraid. I didn’t blame her. “I don’t know. We need to find the source of this. That’s why I’m asking you about Madame Brenna.”
Emeline’s eyes went wide. “You think she’s behind this? Why?”
“I don’t know that I believe she’s behind it,” I hedged. “It’s just ... there’s something about her.” I muttered the second part more for my benefit and frowned. “Tell me what sort of stories you’ve heard about her.”
“Oh, well, nothing that really sticks out,” Emeline replied after a beat. “You hear stories about the voodoo folk often when you work in the city. Most of the tourists are excited to visit the shops. Madame Brenna, however, has a certain reputation. I never recommend people go to her if they ask.”
That sounded about right. “Does she take money from the tourists?”
“Well, they all take money from the tourists,” Emeline hedged. “I mean ... they’re running a business. I don’t have a problem with some of the things they do. It’s the others ... .”
“Tell me some of the ‘others.’” I was deadly serious. I couldn’t get Madame Brenna’s reaction out of my mind. She was clearly powerful enough to have caused real trouble. “I want to know what she’s done to the tourists.”
“Charlie, why does it matter?” Jack asked in a low voice.
“Because there’s something wrong with her,” I replied. “She’s sick ... or maybe deranged.”
“Did she do something to you? Laura said it looked as if you’d done something to her. I didn’t believe that part of the story, but ... did you fight with her?”
“In a manner of speaking.” I focused on Emeline. “What does she do to the tourists?”
“A variety of things,” she replied after a moment. “A lot of the guests who stayed here visited her shop. They said that Madame Brenna told them they were cursed and would have to pay her to remove the curse.”
“That’s a standard ploy here,” Jack argued. “I’ve had beggars tell me the same thing on street corners.”
“It is a standard ploy,” Emeline agreed. “It’s just ... the guests said they felt sick right before she told them about the curse, as if they were going to throw up and maybe pass out. At the time they paid the money, they didn’t think they had a choice. And, of course, after she got the money there was no getting it back.”
“Right.” I tapped my toe on the floor and pursed my lips as I considered the situation. Did I think Madame Brenna was the person we were seeking? Not at first. For some reason, though, she was all I could think about now that I was safely away from her store. Something was definitely wrong. “Tell me what you know about the woman. I get that she’s a user and abuser. What do you know specifically about her? Does she have any family?”
“Not that I know of,” Emeline replied after a moment’s contemplation. “I’ve never really thought about it. I can’t ever remember seeing her with family. Heck, she runs that store by herself most of the time, with a few trusted workers. She’s something of a loner.”
“That makes sense,” I muttered, rolling my neck. I was getting antsy.
“What makes sense?” Jack reached over and grabbed my leg to keep it from bopping around. “What are you thinking?”
“Madame Brenna was acting odd.” I couldn't tell him everything and yet I couldn’t get her out of my mind. “She’s looking for power. She wants to be in control.”
“Yeah, but ... what does that have to do with the zombies?”
“I don’t know. I’m glad you’re finally using that word.” I flashed a smile for his benefit. He returned it, but didn’t put much effort into it.
“There isn’t much I can tell you about Madame Brenna,” Emeline offered. “All I know is that she’s been in that spot for about ten years. No one knows what she was doing before then. She was going under a different name before she joined the ranks here, but I’m not sure what it was.”
“Are you saying she’s not local?” Jack asked, suddenly interested in the conversation.
“Oh, no.” Emeline vehemently shook her head. “She’s definitely local. I mean ... I’m pretty sure she grew up in New Orleans. Whatever name she was going under before, people recognized it. I remember hearing a story that someone called her by that name and she completely melted down.”
Now we were finally getting somewhere. I shifted closer to the edge of my chair. “Do you remember what name she supposedly went under before becoming Madame Brenna?”
Emeline shrugged. “I’m sorry..”
I shifted my eyes to Jack, conflicted. “Do you think that’s information Leon could track down for us?”
“I don’t see why not,” Jack responded. “Are you going to tell me why you think it’s so important?”
“It’s a feeling I have.” I pointed at my stomach. “I can’t explain it. I can’t stop thinking about her. I know that’s not what you want to hear. You like definitive answers. I just ... can’t shake the feeling that answers are right there and we simply have to reach out and take them.”
He held my gaze before finally digging in his pocket for his phone. “I’ll call to see if he can hop on this for us. After that I’m taking you up on your dinner offer. I think we should head out alone.”
A brief bout of fear rippled through me. “Why?”
He sighed. “Stop always thinking the worst,” he admonished. “Fighting is not the same as breaking up. I get that you’re afraid, but I really wish you would have faith in me for once. I have no intention of breaking your heart.”
That’s when I realized the truth. I was letting fear rule me when I should’ve been letting faith take my heart by the reins. Jack wasn’t a bad guy. He was the best guy. That wasn’t going to change just because I told him the truth.
“I’m sorry.” I impulsively reached out and grabbed his hand. “I’ve never had anything I was afraid to lose once my parents were gone. I’d already lost everything and didn’t think I wanted to risk caring enough to lose someone else. Then came you.”
He blinked several times and then growled. “I wish you wouldn’t say things like that. It makes it impossible for me to stay angry. I get that you’re trying really hard. It’s a difficult balancing act for you. You want to be the perfect employee and the perfect girlfriend.”
He had me dead to rights there. “And you don’t think I can do both,” I mused.
&
nbsp; “I don’t think anyone can be perfect one-hundred percent of the time,” he countered quickly. “You are perfect the way you are, Charlie. That includes flaws. If your enthusiasm causes you to make a mistake on the job ... or even with me ... that’s okay. No one but you expects perfection.
“You live in fear because your parents left you,” he continued. “I understand that. I don’t know how I would feel in your position. I’m guessing it would be similar. But I am not your parents. I have no intention of leaving you.”
“You have got to be kidding me,” Laura muttered from her spot several feet away. She was clearly dumbfounded by the speech. “What does she have that you find so magical?”
Jack ignored her and focused on me. “I don’t want you being constantly afraid. That’s no way to live. I am occasionally allowed to get angry with you without fear of crushing your spirit. That compromise we talked about earlier is important. I told you upstairs that we’re okay and I meant it. I’m still a little angry, but it will pass. We’ll work on our communication skills tonight.”
“You’re still going to have Leon check on Madame Brenna, right?”
“I am.” Jack squeezed my hand and then turned his attention to his phone. “Sometimes I feel as if we’re two idiots stumbling through a dark tunnel. I wish I was smoother when it came to relationships.”
That’s when I realized he wasn’t lying when he said he felt as awkward as I did. We both had work to do on the relationship front, and not because we were willingly hurting one another. We were simply inexperienced.
“We’ll start at dinner,” I suggested. “I’m paying.”
“You’re not paying.”
“I have to. I was in the wrong and need to offer the olive branch. That seems only fair.”
He let loose a world-weary sigh that emanated from the depths of his toes. “Fine. You can pay. But I’m buying dessert.”
“Fair enough.”
“I’m also having a drink.” He locked gazes with me. “You make me want to drink, Charlie. What do you think about that?”
“Maybe I’ll have a drink with you. I need to loosen up. I feel tense.”
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