by Diana W.
When she realized the direction she was driving in, she ignored the voice in her head telling her not to. Relieved to see his truck parked outside of the building, she pulled up and parked next to it. She sat there for a few minutes, toying with her fingers, convincing herself of why she was there. She wanted comfort without judgment, someone to tell her that everything would be ok even if it were a lie. And he was the only person she could think of.
When she approached the entrance, the door opened, and he stepped out with knitted brows. He must have seen her on one of the security cameras.
“What you doing here Mia?” He looked behind her as if he wasn’t expecting her to be alone. “You okay?”
She wanted to answer, but the words caught in her throat. Instead, a wave of tears rushed her at once.
“Hey.” He sympathetically pulled her in for an embrace. She clung onto his white t-shirt and bawled at the top of her lungs.
“Shhhhh.” He held her tighter, letting her release whatever she had pent up. It wasn’t hard for him to guess what happened, though.
“I don’t know who I am anymore,” she said through sniffles. “He cheats on me because I can’t give him babies. I know it.”
Taken aback by her admission, he broke their connection to look her in the eyes. “No, Mia, you’re a good person. His demons don’t define your character. That’s an internal battle that he needs to resolve. Do you hear me?”
She did, but she couldn’t agree. It wasn’t how she felt.
“Do. You. Hear. Me?” he repeated himself, holding her face in his hands. He hated how broken she appeared, a complete opposite of the bold and confident woman he always knew her to be.
"I...hear you.” Her eyes continued to pool. There was no way he could send her on her way in this condition.
“Come inside.” He pushed open the door for her, signaling for her to enter first.
“You want something to drink? Eat?” he quizzed as she took a seat on the sofa.
“No.” She wiped her hand over her face. “I wish I could just sleep until this pain goes away.”
He sighed and took a seat next to her. “Well, it will with time, but until then, we can talk or sit in here silence. Whatever you think will make you feel better.”
That felt so good to hear that she leaned over and placed her head on his shoulder. “Always the savior.” She weakly smiled at the memory of when they first met.
She had gotten a flat tire at an ungodly hour of the morning, and none of her friends was answering their phones. Morris wasn’t yet in the picture, so she was doing her best to change it herself. She was so terrified of being robbed or assaulted that she couldn’t focus. It practically took an act of Congress for her to allow the stranger to help her, but once she did, she was grateful. He seemed like the quiet type but somehow found a way to make her laugh, more than likely to take some of the edge off. From that moment on, they remained friends, hanging out from time to time. He was the person she always ran to when she had a problem that needed to be talked through because she loved his ability to analyze a situation from all angles.
“I keep thinking about all of the decisions I’ve made up to this point, wondering how different my life would be had I stayed on my original path. Would I have still married someone like Mo, if at all? Would I still be going through this type of shit? Or maybe if I had chosen wisely, I would’ve met someone who cooks dinner for me every night and worships the ground I walk on while giving amazing foot massages?”
“I was following along until that point. Was there a build-a-man store you were gonna swing by and pick this man up from? Damn.” He laughed, making Mia snicker. “Nobody’s perfect, Mia. You would’ve traded out something and got some other crappy trait in its place.”
“But that’s the thing, I can deal with snoring or laziness or the inability to fix cars. That’s nothing compared to habitual infidelity.”
He knew she was right but didn’t respond.
“You know what else I think about?” She stared down at his white shin-high socks that he’d been rocking since college. He was a fashion misfit in every sense, but even his dingy, red Chuck Taylors suited him. She wondered where his money went because he had a lot, although you couldn’t tell from his clothes and living arrangement.
“What’s that?”
“I should’ve kissed you that night,” she admitted shyly.
“Mia,” he said uncomfortably.
“I’m serious. Do remember how perfect it was? You greasing my scalp while we watched The Lost Boys. I was so happy to have someone like you in my life. We shared that hug and we were right there, but… I choked for whatever reason.” She rubbed her hand up his arm. “It’s another regret I’ve had to live with.”
“It wasn’t our story, Mia.” He closed his eyes, vividly remembering the smell of the Indian hemp he’d used on his hair that night too. He kept that memory tucked away, but it made him smile whenever it crept into his thoughts.
“I know that.” Her hand drifted across his chest. “But...are you ever curious about it, though? Like, how it would’ve felt?”
“Mia.” He grabbed her hand to stop her torturous caresses. He didn’t like the way his body was responding.
Overcome with something other than sadness, for once, she stretched her leg over his lap and mounted him, wrapping her arms around his neck.
“Get up, Mia.” He tried to lift her, but she wouldn’t budge.
“Tell me you don’t think about us.” She grazed her nose down his cheek, carefully moving the hair obstructing her path.
“I don’t,” he lied, although his hard dick would beg to differ.
“That’s not what I feel.” She slowly rolled her hips. “Why can’t you just admit it?”
He closed his eyes. “Because it’s nothing more than lust, and I can’t afford to get wrapped up in it, despite how I’ve always felt about you. My family doesn’t need any help being fucked up any more than it already is. And you can feel however you wanna feel about Mo, but you’re going to have to admit your accountability too. You knew exactly what you signed up for when you married my brother. He’s always showed you who he was.”
Clark could recall the gut punch he felt when Mia told him she’d met somebody. Sure, they were just friends, but he was under the impression they had a connection that went deeper than friendship. He could hardly formulate a greeting when he ran into her and Mo holding hands, looking like the happiest couple on collegiate earth. Mia was equally as nauseous when Mo pulled him in for a hug and referred to him as his baby bro. From that day on, he stuck any feelings or plans he had for Mia into a little box and tossed that bitch into the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico.
Mia stopped moving and released her arms from around his neck. The admittance of his feelings and his subtle but harsh words made her eyes water. It wasn’t just his rejection but that he was also shoving a shattered mirror in her face. She loved Mo more than herself, at times, and when he proposed, she gullibly thought that she could change his ways by becoming his wife. She wouldn’t have been able to do that if she stuck to the plan and moved to New York. Mo couldn’t relocate because of the family business, but he never stopped Mia from going. All of that was of her own doing.
Mia felt like she was hyperventilating when she scrambled off Clark to gather her stuff.
“Mia.” Clark realized how cruel he must have sounded. “I’m sorry, I—”
“What are you sorry for?” She wiped her tears and grabbed her purse. “You’re right,” she shrugged. “I brought this on myself. And because I assumed that he could be a better man, I deserve all of this, right?” She stopped by the doorway, and Clark stood up to stop her. “But let me tell you something, Clark. If you don’t learn how to speak up for yourself, you’ll always lose out to your father and your brothers by never going after what you want!”
“What?” Clark flipped his locs from his face. “That’s real convenient of you to wait until you’re leaving him to be honest about y
our feelings for me back then. You could’ve kept that pep talk and your admittance.”
“Fuck you!” Overcome with anger and embarrassment, Mia rushed him and drove her fist into his chest.
He quickly grabbed both of her hands and locked them in place in front of her.
“I don’t know how you and my brother settle things, but don’t put your hands on me. It shows a lack of intelligence, which isn’t characteristic of you.”
Saying that infuriated her even more as she tried to get free, but it was useless. Mia was a firecracker, but Clark’s grip was deadly. He was always dubbed the geeky guy, but what most people failed to understand was that just because he loved computers didn’t mean he couldn’t defend himself. His father made him and his brothers learn how to fight right after The Gaines Corporation made its first deal; everything from boxing to krav maga. Of course, the older he got, the more he realized it was more for self-serving reasons once he understood the inner workings of the family business. It was also why he preferred to leave the physical violence to his older brothers. Disabling enemies with his intellect was more of his speed.
“I’m not letting you go until you calm down.”
Mia continued to twist and turn her hands until exhaustion got the best of her. When Clark felt her finally relax, he let her go.
“Now, you might as well get comfortable because you’re not going anywhere.”
He popped open the sofa bed he considered a second home and fluffed the two pillows for it. When he waved his hand toward the bed, Mia, still quiet and obviously pissed, surprisingly obliged. She put her purse next to her shoes on the floor and climbed onto the bed, turning away from him.
Clark sighed and sat down in front of his workstation. He needed to get back to work. Harley called him whenever she thought she had something important for him to check on, so he needed to get back to digging into Justin’s past. On their last two calls, she kept saying that she felt that Justin was hiding something, but she couldn’t pinpoint what it was.
It was almost three in the morning by the time he looked away from the screens. He scrubbed his face from exhaustion and frustration at the new dilemma in front of him. He wasn’t comfortable indulging in his pre-sleep habit with Mia in the vicinity, but he also couldn't risk screaming from a night terror and scaring the hell out of her either. He thought about just staying awake until she woke up.
“Why are you grinding your teeth like that?” Mia flipped over half-asleep.
“What?” Clark tried to play it off as if he didn’t understand what she was talking about.
“You of all people should know that I’m a light sleeper, and your teeth chattering sounded like an alarm.” She wiped her eyes. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Why would you think something was wrong with me?”
“Because you only do that when you’re scrutinizing something, and this is my first time hearing it.”
Clark internally rolled his eyes. She would be the one person to pick up on that detail.
“Just working through a problem.” He threw the crumb out, hoping it would be enough.
“Which is?”
“It’s personal.”
Mia tiredly chuckled. “You said that like you thought it would stop me from pressing you about it.”
Clark forgot how persistent she could be. Deciding it was useless to keep trying to avoid talking about it, he spun around in his chair. “I have a sleeping problem.”
“Ok.” Mia dissected his expression. She knew that wasn’t the only thing. “Like you can’t fall asleep?”
“No—” he stopped short. “I tend to have really bad dreams every time I actually go to sleep.”
“Well,” she sat up and pulled her knees to her chest, “what are they about?”
“Dark. All different but always dark.” He took a hesitant pause. “Someone’s trying to kill me... but I can’t see their face. I never do.”
Extremely concerned, Mia held her chest. “Every night?”
“Every night,” he nodded.
“Jesus.” She looked away and thought about how awful that must be. “Have you seen someone about it?” She noticed how exhausted he appeared now that she was paying attention.
“Multiple doctors, including a few psychiatrists and neurologists. They can’t figure out the root cause and keep prescribing bullshit medications that don't work. Nothing works except...” He trailed off, realizing how forthcoming he was revealing this information to her.
“Except what?”
“Nothing.” He looked to his feet, embarrassed.
“Clark, I’m the last person who can judge anybody right about now. It stays between us. I swear.” She held up her hand.
Noticing her serious expression, he sighed. “Drugs. Cocaine specifically.”
Although that information was indeed alarming, Mia didn’t react. “And I'm sure you haven’t told your doctors about that, right?’
“Do you know who my family is? I can’t take that risk even if that information is supposed to be confidential. Someone could sell that to the press.”
Mia nodded and dropped her eyes to the edge of the bed. “I’m sorry you're going through that, Clark. I won’t judge if you need some privacy to do… that.” She made a move to get out the bed.
“No.” He held up his hand. “I respect you enough not to do that around you. I might go sleep in the truck though, so at least I won’t wake you.”
“In the truck? You don’t have to do that.” Mia scooted over, patting the vacant side of the bed.
“Yeah... I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“You either sleep right here, or I’ll follow you to the truck. Your choice.” She placed her head back on the pillow. “Besides, maybe your dreams or your reaction to them won’t be as bad with someone around,” she suggested, shrugging. “No harm in seeing.”
Still hesitant but too tired to think about it any longer, Clark got up from the chair and joined her in the bed, making sure to stay on top of the covers since she was under them. Before he could process being uncomfortable by the sleeping arrangement, he was knocked out. It wasn’t until he felt movement on his chest that he stirred from his sleep. He opened his eyes to a sleeping Mia, wrapped up in his arms as if she always belonged there. As the panic sat in, Clark looked at the large digital clock near his desk and realized it well into the afternoon.
“What the hell?” he gasped.
Mia’s eyes lazily opened and when she realized her proximity to Clark, she jumped up to a seated position. “What happened?” She casually wiped her mouth for any drool that may have embarrassingly escaped.
“I...I slept.” Clark was still coming to terms with this miracle.
“But that’s good, right?” she lazily smiled. “Well, how do you feel?”
“It’s more than good,” he gave way to a lopsided grin. “I feel... amazing.”
He stared at Mia longer than he intended to. Her hair was a mess, and there was crust lodged in the corners of both of her puffy eyes, but he thought she looked angelic. His angel. She’d saved him from the hell of his nightmares. She’d saved him from his demons.
Urgently, Clark sat up and held Mia’s face in his hands, no longer concerned with consequences. He pulled her in for a kiss that startled her at first, but she quickly relaxed into it. The feel of his tongue exploring her mouth made her moan. It was a gentle act that grew more aggressive the more they indulged. It had accelerated to them tugging on each other’s clothes. Clark allowed her to discard his shirt and basketball shorts, and in return, she allowed him to remove her tank and jogging pants. Left in nothing but their underwear, they were both on their knees, staring at one another.
Holding Clark’s gaze, Mia unclasped her bra and removed it. She grabbed his hand and guided it onto one of her breasts, coaxing him to massage it. When he mimicked the action on his own, her head fell back, accompanied by a whisper of hisses. Wanting more of that reaction, Clark used his other hand and pulled each
side of her panties down, just enough for his fingers to have access.
“I used to fantasize about you.” He slipped the first finger into her wetness while he continued to tug and play with her nipples. “Every time you smiled at me. Every time you let me hold you."
“Clark,” Mia croaked.
“Wondering what you tasted like. If you sang when you came or if it was a silent pleasure,” he grunted as he pumped his fingers in and out even faster.
Mia was on the verge of coming so hard that she used his shoulders to steady herself. Everything about this moment was so wrong, but it felt too good to stop.
“Don’t stop.” She wound her hips faster.
Clark did as he was told and watched her rock her tiny body against his fingers. When he felt her thighs closing in on his hand, he flipped her on her back and ripped off her panties like a man possessed.
“Clark!” Her hips bucked. Skirting the edge of an orgasm that intense made her want to scream or cry, hell, maybe both.
He pulled out his thick, aching erection and pushed inside of her. She locked her legs around his waist, and it became a competition of who could out fuck the other.
Mia held him close and he buried his nose in her neck at an angle that kept his locs out of her face. They communicated their needs with pulls, bites, and kisses until the ultimate bliss finally overcame them. Drenched in sweat and exhaustion, they held each other in silence.
“Clark.”
He heard the shakiness in her voice.
“I know.” He kissed her forehead and held her tighter, trying to pacify his own shame. They knew they had crossed a line that there was no coming back from.
CHAPTER 18
Justin looked over at Harley and smiled.
When she noticed, she stopped walking. “What?”
“Nothing.” He turned his head forward, still grinning like a goofball. “C’mon, we’re almost there.” He intertwined his fingers with hers, something she was becoming more comfortable with him doing, against her better judgment, and started back on the path leading down into the park.