by T M Kelly
“Lily.”
I stopped in the doorway. “Yeah?”
“They both are good people. Everything will be okay.”
“I hope you’re right, C,” I said as I turned and left the room.
All I could think about was how Julian hated liars. Oh, and what if my dad had a dark past.
Better yet, I knew I was not being honest with who I really was.
Trying to be Lily Waters could be my downfall in the end.
One month later…
“Turn your body toward me,” Devon, one of my trainers, said as he worked to complete the flying scissor heel hook on me. I shifted my butt and inched over slightly. “I said your whole body, Lily.”
“I know.” I huffed. “I’m trying to move but you do have a good hold on my leg right now.”
“You need to figure this out soon. We have been working on this move for three days, and you haven’t figured out how to release yourself.”
Right when I was about to show my Irish roots and tell him where he could release himself, that deep voice that caused my insides to squirm sounded from behind me. “Devon, take a break.”
I sat up and turned to face Julian. “What if I had something I needed to share with Devon?”
“Oh, I’m guessing you have a lot you would like to share. Which is why I’m here.”
“What does that mean?”
He sat down in front of me. “Lily, you’ve been here for what, one month?”
“Uh, yeah, I guess.” I scowled. “What does this have to do with freeing myself from the hold?”
“You seem to have a block. Are you okay?”
I stood up. “Okay? When did you become my counselor?”
He stood and walked closer to me. “I’m not, but I am the owner of the place, so I do have a say in some things.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “Suggestions?”
“Yeah, lie down on the mat.”
“Excuse me.”
“Lily, just get down and let’s look at how you position yourself.”
One part of me wanted to call it a day; the other part of me wanted to feel Julian Moore’s body on my own. I looked over and saw Charlie leaning against the front counter. Our eyes connected, and I knew she was telling me to lie down, bitch. We had a loving relationship.
“Fine,” I said, falling to the floor and rolling onto my back.
He positioned his body next to mine and wrapped his legs around one of my legs. “I know we start in standing position, but you have that part perfect.”
I inhaled deeply, catching the scent of fresh pine and lemon. I laid my head on the mat and avoided eye contact with him.
“Lily, if I have you in a hold like this,” he said, touching my leg, “you should be able to lift your butt up and twist before I attempt to hook your heel.” He placed his hand on my butt in a motion to help me lift. “I won’t move. See if you can twist out of this hold.”
What was wrong with me? The man probably had a girlfriend or maybe even a wife. Shit.
I let out a deep sigh and attempted to lift up. Julian didn’t fight against me; instead, he wanted to let me see how the twist would feel without any resistance. As I moved toward his body, it was like an electrical pull bringing us closer together. I managed to get on my side and lift my body up with my one arm. Our faces were only inches from each other.
“Like…this?” I struggled to get the words out. Being this close to Julian was causing my words to get stuck in my throat. “Um…”
There was a hint of a smile on his face. “Yeah, like that.” He cleared his throat. “Want to try it from the beginning?”
There was a light squeeze on my behind, and I realized he still was holding me. I glanced down and looked back up. “You need to let go so I can stand up.”
“What? Oh, sorry.”
We both stood up, and I felt awkward at the moment. It was weird; I knew he wasn’t interested in me. Two days ago, I’d heard Julian and Brooks bickering in the office. Julian had said my name about ten times in a row. Each time my name fell from his lips, it was followed by “fuck” or “no, not going to happen.” I wasn’t sure what it all meant. So why did the room feel like a hundred and ten degrees at the moment?
As I stood up, Julian attempted to help me by holding out his hand. That felt awkward. Usually I would do a flip in place to get me to standing position quickly. “I’m good, thanks.”
“Sorry, I don’t know what came over me,” he said, bringing his hand closer to his body.
We attempted to follow through on each step for the position, but something felt off. “Listen, I think I get it. I’ll practice with Charlie later.” I walked over to the corner of the mat where my towel and water bottle were sitting. “That makes sense on the twist. I just wasn’t seeing the full picture before.” I rubbed my face in the towel and lifted my head. He appeared about six inches from my face. “Jesus.” I placed a hand on my chest and stepped back.
His eyes raked up and down my body. “You sure you don’t want to run over the move a few more times?”
“Yeah, I need to go.” As I stepped around him, he encircled his hand on my bicep. “Lily.”
I looked down at his hand. “Yeah?”
“I’m going to take over for Devon if that’s okay?”
I leaned back on the balls of my feet. “Why?”
“I’m worried you both are not connecting, which is putting pressure on your training.”
“Oh, okay. But why you?”
“I can get someone else if you want?”
“No, it’s okay. I thought you said you didn’t train fighters anymore?”
“Technically I don’t.”
“But.”
“I decided to make an exception.”
I scowled, trying to understand what was happening. “Any particular reason?”
He let out a small laugh. “No.”
I tapped him on the hand so he would let go of my arm. “Okay, well, when you think of one let me know.” I winked and reached for my water bottle. “I need to get home.”
“Lily.”
I was about halfway to the locker room and avoided turning in his direction. “Yeah?”
“I do have a reason.”
Turning to face him, I unscrewed the top on my water bottle and took a big gulp. “But you don’t want to share?”
“Not today.”
“Okay.”
What was he hiding?
7
“What was that all about?” Charlie said, sitting down next to me in the locker room on a bench.
“What?” I tried to feign innocence.
“Don’t you what me, lady.” She swatted at my arm.
I tried to stay serious but instead burst out laughing. “C, I think Julian just hit on me. That’s impossible, right?”
“Nope. He totally has a thing for you.”
I stood up and placed my hands on my hips. “How the hell do you know that?”
“People talk in this place. No one knows how to keep their damn mouth shut.”
What did she just say? Holy fuck. “But he can’t.”
“Why?”
“Well, for one, he’s like fifteen years older than me.”
“He’s only ten years older, silly.”
I was struggling to absorb this information. “Okay, so maybe that’s better. But still, he’s Julian fucking Moore. Why would he even think twice about me?”
“Because you are the best thing in the whole world.”
“Charlie Bear, what are you not telling me?”
She threw her hands up. “I swear, I don’t know. Brooks walked over to the front desk and said ‘Julian is going to help Lily.’ I tried to ask, but he wouldn’t offer any more than that.”
“Okay, fine. Listen, I need to get home.” I bent down and kissed her cheek. “I’ll see you later?”
“Yeah, I need a few more hours here, and then I’ll be done.”
“Take all the time you need.”
/> I grabbed my bag and started making my way to the front door. I stopped about a foot from the entrance and then turned to head over to Julian’s office. A part of me was screaming, Don’t do it, Lily. While the other part was excited to be in a room alone with him.
My hand was on the handle. “I’m not in there,” Julian’s deep voice rang from behind me.
I spun around so fast. “Oh, sorry.”
He reached around me and turned the handle. “Need to talk about something?”
“Uh, yeah.” I stepped to the side so he could open the door. We were both silent as we moved about a foot into his office. I heard the door click behind me and felt my insides scream.
“What’s up?” he said, setting a bag on the desk as he leaned on the wood surface.
I tapped my foot, prepared to bolt at any moment. As he crossed his arms over his chest, I had to cross my legs and squeeze. My body was feeling needy at the moment. “Well”—I cleared my throat—“I was wondering…” He stepped into my personal space and reached his hand around my body. There was a sliding noise, and I realized he was closing his shades on the office windows. Finally, I blurted out, “Why are you training me?”
“You really don’t know?” he breathed out.
My heart rate increased, and I was finding it difficult to breathe. “Don’t know?”
He took another step closer. “Lily.”
Something came over me, and I needed to exit the room immediately. I ducked around him and reached for the handle. “I forgot I have a hair appointment in five minutes.” I threw the door back and practically ran to the front entrance. A little voice inside me said to look back, but I ignored the words.
When I was about a quarter of a mile away from the gym, I leaned against a building and took several deep breaths. I wasn’t sure how to process what had just happened. Then as my body calmed, I wanted to scream. Why did I run?
I knew something had happened between Julian and my dad.
Becoming emotionally involved when I still didn’t know if he was safe felt wrong.
“Lily,” I heard a voice yell from behind me. “Wait up.”
Charlie. I turned to face my best friend. “I’m fine. I just need to get home.”
“Lils, you were always a horrible liar.”
I let out a huff and leaned back against the brick wall. “I’m an idiot.”
“Why, because Julian tried to make a move and you ran?” I placed my hands over my face and softly moaned. She brought my hands down. “I can’t understand you, sweets.”
Standing up straight, I took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Right as I was about to repeat my mumbled words, I noticed the man in question walking toward us. “Fuck.”
“What? Are you in pain?”
“He’s walking this way.”
She spun on her heel and struggled with holding in a laugh. “Oh, my God.”
When I was in high school, I’d had a crush on a senior. I was a sophomore, so the odds that we would ever connect were next to none. Still, the thought of dating an older man had its appeal. Plus, the guy would smile and make my insides melt on the spot. The jerk never did give me the time of day. That crush sparked something in me, though. I found I had a thing for older men. Something I only wrote in my diary and told no one. So of course, the thought of dating Julian piqued my interest. Well, I mean, the guy was also easy on the eyes.
I threw my head back against the wall and prayed this day could end soon.
“Charlie,” Julian said, stopping only inches from me.
“Hey, Julian.” She leaned up and kissed my cheek. “I forgot, Brooks was going to show me a move today.”
“I’m sensing a pattern here.”
I lifted my head up. “What pattern?”
“Being forgetful.”
I rolled my eyes. “Sorry we’re not perfect.”
“Who said you needed to be perfect?”
I pushed off the wall and stood directly in front of him. “What’s up?”
“You left quickly. Then a few seconds later, I saw Charlie run out.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I wanted to make sure you both were okay. I was worried you missed your hair appointment.”
Closing my eyes and shaking my head, I said, “You were worried, huh?”
“Lily.”
I glanced up into his jade green eyes. “I’m sorry.” I blurted out.
He took a step forward. “For what?”
“For being an idiot.”
“Care to elaborate?”
“It’s stupid.”
He surprised me by reaching forward and tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “I’m sure it’s not stupid.”
I lifted my hand and touched my fingers where his hand had just been. “Julian, why are you training me? And please be honest.”
“Well, I guess because I see something in you. You seem different from other competitors.”
“Different. How so?”
“You have a way with your moves that shows me a fighter taught you everything you know. Who trained you, Lily?”
“I put all that in my application.”
“Right, and now I’m here asking the truth.”
A part of me wanted to tell him the truth. I knew if I did tell him the truth now, he would claim I lied. Which I had, but for a good reason. My dad and I both believed using the Adams name would never give me a clean shot at a title. It would be a shoe-in. When I graduated from high school, Dad made me change my last name.
My mind ran through all the names of the fighters at my dad’s gym. “Jason Forrester.” I did actually train with Jason, but when I was like ten. Julian didn’t need to know that.
“The Jason Forrester?”
“Yeah, you know him?”
“Well, he’s a legend. I’ve never met him. That’s an amazing opportunity to train with him.”
“I guess.” I tried to shrug off the excitement in his words. “Jason was like a dad to me.” I took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Is that all you needed to talk with me about?”
“No.”
“Oh.” I sounded disappointed but a part of me was actually happy he said no.
“What are you doing Friday night?”
It was only Monday. Hell, I didn’t even know what I was doing tonight. “No clue. I still need to decide on dinner tonight.”
“Perfect, go to dinner with me tonight instead.”
“Julian, you don’t even know me.”
“Which is why I’m asking you to dinner.”
“Why me?”
“Is there someone else I should be asking?”
I laughed softly. “I have no idea.”
“Then is that a yes?”
My mind let the words roll around for a few more seconds, trying to take in this whole situation. Julian wanted to have dinner with me, Lily Waters. If my dad could see this moment right now what would he even say? He was probably watching and silently cursing my name.
“Yes.”
8
“So?” Charlie leaned over the back of the couch and shook my arm. “Tell me all the juicy details.”
When I’d arrived home, I threw my body on the couch and fell asleep immediately. I was a light sleeper, so at the sound of Charlie’s voice I was forced awake. Rubbing my eyes, I looked up at her. “What juicy details?”
She lay down on the back of the couch and let her body fall on top of mine. I let out a loud sound the moment her body hit me. “When Julian walked back into the gym”—she inched her body forward to whisper in my ear—“he was smiling, and that man never smiles.”
I groaned and threw the pillow over my head.
“Nope,” she teased, pulling the pillow away. “Brooks wants to know the recipe to your secret sauce.”
“Secret sauce,” I said, pushing her off me and standing up. “What is that shit?”
My body ached today. Nothing new but I knew an Epson salt bath would ease me. As I walked toward the bathroom for some peace and quiet, Ch
arlie was fast on my heels. I turned and almost barreled into her. “Listen,” I said, placing my hand on her shoulders. “I arrived in Vegas one month ago.”
“Yeah,” she said, shrugging her shoulders.
“I need to make the gym trust me, not hate me.”
“What do you mean?”
“What if”–I pointed my index finger in her direction–“we go out and then it doesn’t work? Where am I then?” I lifted my shirt over my head and threw it into my room as I walked to the bathroom. Grabbing the door handle, I motioned for her to move so I could close the door. “Are you following me in here, too?” She looked around and then stepped into the bathroom. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
“Lils, why are you so against getting to know him?”
“Well, for one—I barely know him.”
“That’s why you go out, so you can get to know each other.”
I tried to ignore that thought. “And two—he’s the owner of the gym. It looks tacky.”
“Everyone there today seemed excited at the prospect of you dating Julian.”
I had my leggings around my ankles. When she said everyone seemed excited, I lifted my body up so fast and almost fell backwards. “What did you say?”
“Which part?”
“Don’t which part me.”
“Listen,” she said, closing the lid on the toilet and sitting down. “I think it would be cool if you dated, Julian.” She held her hands up in a gesture to let her continue talking. “I never said you both need to fuck like bunnies. I just think it would be good for you to get out.”
“Fuck like bunnies?”
“Lily?”
I sat down on the edge of the tub and turned on the water. “Yes?”
“Just go out with him.”
“I am tonight.”
“What?” She screamed a little too loudly. “Why didn’t you tell me that fifteen minutes ago?”
“You didn’t ask.”
“You suck. You know that, right?”
“No. Now will you leave so I can enjoy a bath in peace?”
Charlie actually skipped out of the room. Before she closed the door, she turned and looked at me. “I’m so damn excited right now. Want a glass of wine to celebrate?”