by Aidan Wayne
* * *
Dovid buried his face in his hands. Sam cared about his virtual Neopets so much that he had made sure they’d gone to a good home and he still checked on them.
God, he liked Sam so much.
This was such a problem.
Rachel nudged him. “Would you stop pausing the video every time you think he does something cute?”
“I can’t handle him. Rachel, I can’t handle how cute he is.”
“So, let me watch in peace, and you can watch some other time and stop interrupting.”
“Nooo, I need you for support.”
“Support for what?”
“He’s talking to me, Rachel! We are exchanging conversation. And he’s so nice, and genuine, and—”
“And cute, yes, you have said. Multiple times. We’ve covered this. You have a massive, massive crush on a Let’s Player who lives in Ireland.”
Dovid didn’t even try to deny it at this point. “Hey, you like him too.”
“Yeah,” she said. “But I’m not head over heels in love with him.”
Okay, that he’d deny. “That’s an exaggeration.”
“Sure.”
“I just like him a lot.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Rachel, Rachel, I want to talk to him more. What can I do? Am I allowed to just DM him? Will he think that it’s weird?”
“I don’t know. I mean, you’ve already talked to him. I can’t see there’d be anything wrong with saying hi. You could let him know you watched his video and whatever.”
That was a great idea. He could do that. “I could do that.”
“Yes, you could. Now, in order to tell him the truth about watching his video, you need to finish it. By which I mean let me watch his damn video now.”
Grumbling, Dovid pressed play.
* * *
Dontlooknowdovid: Hey! Just wanted to let you know that I watched your recent video. I thought it was great. You really know what you’re doing in the game. And it was cool to learn that thing about sheeple farming. Also liked how you talked to some of your fans in-video. I do that too, and it’s always appreciated, from what I’ve found.
The reply came early Saturday morning, around eight o’clock. Dovid was half asleep when his phone beeped, and he fumbled trying to find it and set the message to play. It was only once it started that he realized the DM was from Sam, and that made him sit up, now more alert.
Playitagainsam: Thank you very much! I’m glad you liked it. It wasn’t too much, you don’t think?
Dontlooknowdovid: Too much? No, of course not. Your videos are always really genuine sounding. I really like listening to them.
Playitagainsam: Oh, I’m so glad to hear that. And if you don’t think they’re too much, I’ll defer to your YouTube experience.
Dontlooknowdovid: Anytime.
Dontlooknowdovid: What are you up to today?
Playitagainsam: Nothing too exciting, I’m afraid. I’m quite a boring person, actually.
Dontlooknowdovid: I’ve got a hard time believing that :)
Playitagainsam: Really! I’ve spent the day drinking tea and reading, and playing more Dire Straits. I have a few personal runs that aren’t YouTube related. I went out for a walk to my grocery store as well, though it was too cold to really enjoy being out of doors.
Dontlooknowdovid: See, that sounds like a nice day to me.
Playitagainsam: I do find it quite nice, yes. After a workweek, I tend to use my days off to decompress, when I’m not running errands. It can be hard, being on with other people all the time.
Dontlooknowdovid: I won’t pretend I know exactly how that feels—I’m definitely an extrovert, and my whole life is about letting people see exactly who I am. But I can get needing to take a break from it. Some days I’m just tired, you know? I don’t feel like filming.
Dontlooknowdovid: Or I guess it’s more that I don’t feel like letting people in.
Playitagainsam: I think that’s perfectly reasonable. It sounds exhausting quite honestly, bringing people “with” you everywhere you go! I couldn’t imagine being in front of the camera like that, much less all the time.
Dontlooknowdovid: You sound like Rachel. She wouldn’t be caught dead in front of the camera.
Playitagainsam: How in the world did she become half of a YouTube duo then?
Dontlooknowdovid: It’s actually half her fault. She had to make a presentation for class about an underrepresented minority. Which, I mean, her twin brother is LITERALLY BLIND. I’m not sure what her teacher was expecting.
Dontlooknowdovid: Anyway, she’d always liked making videos on her phone and stuff—she’s a Snapchat/Instagram wiz, so she decided to film the presentation instead of doing a PowerPoint. And guess who was the star guest speaker?
Playitagainsam: I can’t imagine.
Dontlooknowdovid: Hahaha, right? Anyway, we had a lot of fun, and then sort of came to the conclusion at the same time that we should just keep making videos like this; stuff that lets the world see that I’m just your average guy. I’m just missing a couple of parts.
Playitagainsam: I’d hardly say you’re average.
Dovid had typed you’re sweet and was about to hit send before he came to his senses and erased it.
Dontlooknowdovid: Thanks, man! ’Preciate it. But no, yeah, we got a pretty good response, and had a pretty loyal, if small audience. Then we got it into our heads to film “Angry Blind Teen” and—Can I tell you a secret?
Playitagainsam: Sure, if you want to. I won’t tell.
Dontlooknowdovid: We were so, so drunk when we filmed that. Our parents had gone away for the weekend and we thought it’d be a good idea to see what it was like to get drunk off our asses. But we were underage at the time, and then it went viral on YouTube and we REALLY couldn’t tell people we were drunk. Our parents still don’t even know. And everyone on YouTube who’s watched that video just thinks I’m a big whiner. Which is true, I sort of am, but being drunk didn’t help.
Dontlooknowdovid: You are now the third person on this planet privy to this information, by the way. Counting Rachel and me.
Playitagainsam: I won’t breathe a word.
Dontlooknowdovid: :)
Dontlooknowdovid: So yeah, after “Angry Blind Teen” got people actually looking at our videos, our popularity skyrocketed. It was like...we’d been making these really great videos, but now people knew they existed. Rachel was having a blast filming and figuring out sound and shots and whatever, and we both had a good time deciding what to film for our videos and editing them together.
Dontlooknowdovid: We always say that Rachel does the heavy lifting, and I’m the pretty face.
Playitagainsam: Oh I’m sure that’s not true.
Dontlooknowdovid: Aw, you don’t think I’m pretty?
Shit, flirting, this was probably flirting territory—
Dontlooknowdovid: But no, it’s kind of true, haha. She’s definitely a huge driving force behind everything. I’m just the guy who invites people into his life. She’s the one who makes it possible for them to really look and listen. I mean, I’ve got a hand in editing and everything, but filming is a lot easier when you’ve got someone telling you where to point your face xD
Playitagainsam: Hahaha. Alright, that makes sense. But sounds to me as though you’re both very important. And both very good at what you do.
Dontlooknowdovid: Thanks. We try.
* * *
“Hey, guys, this is Don’t Look Now with Dovid and Rachel. I’m Dovid, Rachel’s behind the camera, and today we’re going to be baking chocolate chip cookies! Well, I’m going to be baking them. Rachel is going to follow along with the camera and not get anywhere near the oven. Or any of the ingredients. Rachel’s kind of a mess in the kitchen, guys.”
Sam watched, grinning, as Dovid listed all th
e ingredients and took his viewer through a step-by-step instruction on how to make chocolate cookies, with the addition of all his little tangents and stories. Rachel’s only job really was to hold the camera; Dovid even had a talking scale that told him how much of each ingredient he was measuring out, so he didn’t have to worry about that sort of thing. And meanwhile, Sam hadn’t even had any idea that talking scales existed.
He wondered what else he took for granted, as a sighted person.
Well, that was half of why he had started watching Dovid’s videos. And besides being educational and fun, he seemed like such an interesting person, and genuinely very nice, if how he was interacting with Sam (and on his channel in general) was any indication. Sam had only watched a few episodes here and there, picking things sporadically based on title or presumed content, but he’d enjoyed all of them. Dovid had a wonderful personality, as did Rachel, and Sam had a lot of fun watching their dynamic. No wonder they appealed to such a wide audience.
It also, well, it also didn’t hurt that Dovid was in no way difficult to look at.
Which...was that fair on Sam’s end? He couldn’t help that he found Dovid attractive. That had just...happened through talking to him and then watching his videos. And then even more talking, because Dovid talked to him, and acted as though it was no big deal.
That was indeed a big deal to Sam. That this famous YouTube star would even give him the time of day, much less express interest in Sam’s own videos and then offer advice on how to deal with a sudden onslaught of popularity. Sam couldn’t summon up the courage to initiate conversation that didn’t have to do with YouTube questions, and, well, he could admit, at least to himself, that he might have started wracking his brain to come up with said questions as of late, but Dovid didn’t seem to mind at all. He often kept talking to him after the question had been answered. Asking Sam about his day, or talking about his own.
Dovid had even started asking Sam questions about whatever he was reading at the moment. Asking for recommendations and then, a couple days later, striking up a conversation about the book because he’d started to read it himself. Sam had begun to start making sure any new books he chose to read had audio versions out.
Sometimes Dovid got stuck on a video and they brainstormed together. Dovid made Sam feel as though his ideas and opinion were worth listening to.
Which did not, exactly, help Sam’s crush.
Chapter Five
Dovid wasn’t doing anything much, just planning out another video on his computer, when his phone beeped with a Twitter DM alert. He plugged in an earbud to check the DM and was very pleasantly surprised.
Playitagainsam: Hi, Dovid. I know it’s the middle of the day for you, but I wanted to ask your advice on what to do about Twitter? Only I seemed to have gained quite a lot of followers very quickly, after I released my last video. Obviously it’s not vital! But if you have a chance and don’t mind a bit of a chat, it’d be appreciated.
Dovid hurried to respond.
Dontlooknowdovid: Hey! Of course. I’d love to talk to you. What’s up?
Playitagainsam: Oh, hello! How are you today?
Great, now that he was talking to Sam.
Dontlooknowdovid: Pretty good :) Yourself?
Playitagainsam: Can’t complain, can’t complain. And I’m sorry to bother you, I just... Twitter has exploded a little bit, on my end.
Dontlooknowdovid: You’re not a bother. Please don’t worry about it. And okay, yeah, the YouTube mass followed you to Twitter?
Playitagainsam: I’m afraid so. And it’s so odd, because I took my Twitter information out of my YouTube profile, like you suggested. I’ve only put my Twitter information up in a few of my videos. Sporadically, you know? Because I use it so seldom, I forget. So some of my new subscribers must have watched...a lot of my videos and found the links.
Dontlooknowdovid: I’m sorry. I sort of knew they would.
Playitagainsam: It’s alright. I mean, you did warn me. I suppose I just wasn’t expecting quite so many of them. I’m abysmally boring on Twitter, and only just got active recently, to talk to people I knew from before the craze. Like you suggested.
Playitagainsam: And it was working very well, these last few days. But then, ah...
Dovid went to check. Sam’s three-hundred-fifty-ish Twitter follower count had jumped up to almost four thousand. And he was nearly at one hundred thousand subscribers on YouTube now.
Dontlooknowdovid: I get it. It’s overwhelming. Just remember—you don’t owe any of them anything. It’s up to you how many people you let into your life like that. Hell, you could even make your Twitter invite-only, if you wanted to. That might make things easier.
Playitagainsam: Oh no, I’d feel so bad.
Of course he would. Because Sam was too good for this world.
Dontlooknowdovid: That’s fine too! Just try to keep it in mind that that’s always an option for you. So if things do ever get too overwhelming, feel free to lock your Twitter for a little while for a breather.
Playitagainsam: Okay. Thank you. I’ll try to remember that. And I suppose, after the initial panic, it isn’t all that bad. And most of the comments have been very nice.
Dontlooknowdovid: That’s good! That’s great.
Dontlooknowdovid: Though please tell me if you ever get anything nasty. Especially if it sounds like it’s from one of my fans. Block ANYone who makes you feel bad. And if you give me usernames, I’ll have them blocked on mine and Rachel’s Twitters too. They know I don’t allow that shit. Or they should.
Playitagainsam: Thank you. I really do appreciate it :)
Dontlooknowdovid: Of course. Now wait, what time is it for you? Isn’t it like midnight?
Playitagainsam: Not quite. It’s around eleven. I should be asleep honestly, but I’m almost done with reading Defiant Truth—it’s quite unfair you can listen to it faster than I can read it by the way, and then the Twitter notifications happened and I’m afraid I’m prone to easy panicking when it comes to social interaction so I immediately thought of you.
Sam had thought of him. Sam had panicked and thought of Dovid. This was the greatest day of Dovid’s life.
Dontlooknowdovid: I’m really sorry you panicked, but I’m glad you felt comfortable to come to me about it. I’m always here if you need something.
Playitagainsam: Goodness, well, thank you.
Dontlooknowdovid: Of course. You going to bed now?
Playitagainsam: Technically I’m already in bed. I’m just not asleep yet. But yes, I probably should try to sleep now. Work tomorrow and all that. Even if I want to finish this book!
Dontlooknowdovid: I get it—why do you think I read it so fast? But Defiant Truth will be there for you in the morning :) I hope you have a good day at work. May all your calls be easy to deal with and all your clients be even-minded and polite.
Playitagainsam: You know, I couldn’t ask for a better thought for tomorrow. Here’s hoping! And you have a good rest of your day.
Dontlooknowdovid: Thanks. Good night.
Playitagainsam: Talk to you later :)
Playitagainsam: Oh dear, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to assume that we’d be speaking again. You’ve already been such a help.
Dontlooknowdovid: No, no, I hope we do talk again. Say hi whenever you want. You don’t have to wait until you’ve got a social media issue, you know :) I like talking with you. I... If you don’t mind, I’d like to keep up a conversation.
Playitagainsam: Oh! Well, sure, of course. I’d really like that.
Dontlooknowdovid: Me too :)
Dontlooknowdovid: But later, because I really don’t want to keep you up too late. Have a good night.
He nearly added a heart emoji before he caught himself.
* * *
Dontlooknowdovid: Hey, Sam. I’m not entirely sure when you get off work, but it’s like ten
am for me, so I think it’s like six for you? (I think before we figured out that you’re eight hours ahead of me.) Anyway, just wanted to say hi and ask how things were for you at work. Wanted to know if my good wishes actually bore fruit.
Dovid sent the message off and then proceeded to try to forget about it. Sam would answer when he could. Or if he wanted to. And he might not feel like it, which was also entirely fair.
And Dovid was a damn YouTube star; you’d think that he’d be better at this whole online communication thing.
Playitagainsam: Good morning! Thank you for thinking of me. The day went alright.
Dontlooknowdovid: Aw, just alright?
Playitagainsam: I might have had an...interesting experience today, is all.
Dontlooknowdovid: Oh yeah? Anything you can talk about? Or want to talk about? I’m all ears.
Dontlooknowdovid: (literally; I use a text-to-speech function)
Playitagainsam: That’s very interesting! And, well, if you really want to hear it’s...a bit NC-17.
Dovid frowned. That didn’t sound good.
Dontlooknowdovid: What? Are you okay?
Playitagainsam: Just some secondhand embarrassment. I, well, you see, I was using TeamViewer to recover some files for a client.
Playitagainsam: And, well, I found...quite a lot of porn. On his work computer.
Playitagainsam: And far be it from me to judge someone on their, um, porn habits? But it was all rather filthy and kind of vile and we both sort of kept talking as though I wasn’t scrolling through pages of the files trying to find the non-porn ones I was looking for. It was just very awkward. Sort of colored the rest of my day.
Dontlooknowdovid: Oh my god, I am so sorry. I mean, I’d probably find that hilarious if it ever happened to me, but I’m so sorry it was so awkward.
Dontlooknowdovid: Though in order for it to happen to me, I would have had to click a file so it started playing and I heard the noises to clue me in on what was going on. Which would be even MORE awkward.