A new text bubble appeared. Katherine again. As I’m sure you know, I do plan on collecting for this one.
Emily set the phone facedown and took a deep, steadying breath. She couldn’t decide if she was more angry at herself, or Alex, or Katherine. Nicola had warned her. Shay had, too, for that matter. Sleeping with Alex meant she’d have to deal with Katherine. Fine. But she was no plaything, and certainly not a pawn.
The phone vibrated with another text, but she refused to look at it. Anger made her efficient and she attacked the dishes in the sink rehearsing what she’d say to Katherine when the time was right. She’d finish cleaning up and then give Alex some excuse for why she didn’t want to go to the hot springs and go directly to find Katherine.
And then what?
Emily’s hand stalled with the sponge on a soapy, dripping omelet pan. She let her shoulders drop and stared out the little window above Alex’s sink. There was no gorgeous view of the mountains, or even the river, like in Katherine’s kitchen. The one kitchen window at Alex’s looked out at a fence and a solitary pine tree. The limbs drooped under the heavy weight of the overnight snow, but the tree was still beautiful. A blue bird darted out of the tree and disappeared over the fence.
What was she going to do? She couldn’t lose Katherine as a client. Not now. And she couldn’t storm over to her house, chew her out, and expect things to be fine after. No, she’d have to pretend nothing had changed, that she knew nothing about the texts, and keep to the original plan. Which was not getting attached to Alex. She’d used her to get over her sex issues—exactly as they’d agreed—and now she needed to move on. If she slept with someone else tonight and carefully avoided Alex, Katherine would likely get over her jealousy and nothing would come of it.
How Alex dealt with Katherine wasn’t her problem, though clearly she needed to resolve it before she tried dating anyone seriously. And she did believe that was what Alex wanted—a real relationship and a happily ever after. She deserved it.
Despite what Katherine had said, she knew Alex didn’t think of her as a plaything. And maybe she did want her for more than one night. But even without Katherine in the picture, Alex was a guaranteed heartbreak for her.
Alex came back right as Emily finished washing the omelet pan. She avoided looking at her and instead focused on loading the plates and utensils into the dishwasher.
“You don’t have to clean up. I can do it.”
“It’s no problem. I’m a whiz at this part.”
Alex scratched her head, clearly aware something was wrong. “I’m sorry about the interruption. That was my property manager, Jorie. I forgot I told her I’d be free today to go over some issues with the house.”
“You could still meet with her. I’ll be out of your hair as soon as I finish cleaning up.”
Alex picked up the mimosa glasses and brought them over to the sink. “Does that mean you don’t want to go to the hot springs?”
“I can’t.” The truth seemed the simplest answer at the moment, but Emily felt regret wash through her. In fact, the truth was as complicated as everything else about their situation. She stepped away from the sink, carefully keeping her distance from Alex.
Alex washed the glasses and then set them on the drain rack. She rinsed and dried her hands, then leaned against the counter. “Do you want to do something else instead? We could walk around downtown Aspen. No commitment to spending the day together…”
Emily heard the uncertainty in Alex’s voice and knew she should be honest with her. It wasn’t fair to not offer any explanation. Yet the more she considered what to say, the more ridiculous everything felt.
“Do you have a Tupperware for the muffins?”
Alex pointed to a cabinet adjacent to where Emily stood. “Or you can leave them in the muffin tin. I’ll probably polish them off in a day or two.”
Emily opened the cupboard, searching for a container big enough for the remaining muffins. She spotted one under a plate of cookies. When she went to move the plate, she noticed a note taped to the cellophane wrap. Without meaning to, she read the words: “I could be free tonight if you want to meet for a drink—or more. Happy to have you back in town. ~ Jorie.”
“Jorie?” She hadn’t meant to say the name aloud any more than she’d meant to read the note in the first place. Or the text from Katherine.
Alex had come over to where Emily stood. She set the plate of cookies on the counter and then pulled out the Tupperware Emily had been going for. “Jorie’s the property manager. We messed around once when I was in town and she wanted to know if that was happening again. I told her no. Did you overhear some of that? Is that why you’re upset?”
Emily shook her head. “You’d said her name, and then when I saw it on the note, things clicked. But I didn’t hear your conversation and I don’t care who you sleep with.”
Alex popped the muffins out of the tin and into the container. “Then do you want to tell me why you’re upset?”
“I needed what we did last night, but I’m not looking for anything more.” It hurt to say it, but she had to follow through. “Plenty of women want you, Alex. And plenty of them could give you what you need.”
“Why are you saying that?”
“Because it’s the truth.”
“It’s not, but whatever. So that’s why you’re upset?”
“I’m not upset.”
“Okay, fine.” Alex held Emily’s gaze. After a moment, she shook her head. “I don’t believe you. You’re mad at me about something.”
“I’m not mad at you. I’m maybe a little mad at myself.” Emily put the plate of cookies back on the shelf and closed the cabinet. She turned to face Alex, wishing that instead of arguing she could simply step forward and kiss her. Forget about Katherine, forget about how Alex wasn’t hers and never would be. They could go back upstairs and tumble into bed and forget about everything…except reality would find them. “Mostly I want to be happy that I finally had sex after seven years and it was amazing and leave it at that.”
“That’s fair.” Alex folded her arms. “You were clear that was what you wanted from the beginning. I’m sorry I pushed for more.”
“You don’t have to apologize. You asked me out on a date. Which was totally reasonable.”
“And you’re not ready, which is also reasonable.”
Emily realized then that Alex was right. It didn’t matter that something was still clearly going on between her and Katherine. It didn’t matter that nearly all the women at the party had raised their hand for Alex or that a random property manager wanted her too. They could work all of that out if they had to, but this wasn’t about Alex at all. It was about her. She wasn’t ready.
“Thanks for understanding.” Emily wanted to say more but couldn’t. Not now.
Alex’s disappointment was palpable. She ran her hand through her hair and looked around the kitchen for a moment. When she met Emily’s gaze again, she’d clearly come to some sort of resolve. “Last night was nice and breakfast was perfect. Thank you.”
Alex held out her hand and Emily clasped it. Her heart raced as if it hadn’t been paying any attention to the conversation whatsoever. “Last night was better than nice.”
Alex nodded. “I’ll walk you out.”
Chapter Twenty-five
After Emily left, Alex went back to bed. She didn’t figure she’d sleep, but trying to accomplish anything else seemed like a waste of time. Not enough sleep had her mind fuzzy and she couldn’t stop analyzing everything that had happened that morning. She still wasn’t sure why things had gone so sideways. The fact that the night had been one of the best on record only made Emily’s abrupt departure all the harder to stomach.
Four hours later, she woke from a dream about Emily. They were on a boat that was way too big for only two people to manage, and neither of them knew how to sail. Alex nearly laughed at how simple her brain was trying to make things. But even with the answer staring right at her, she still wondered why Emily wo
uldn’t at least consider spending the day together. Her heart kept offering up helpful ideas like “maybe she’s pushing you away but she wants you to call her anyway” and “maybe if you went over to see her, she’d change her mind and want to hang out.”
Even after an extra-long workout, it was too early to head over to Katherine’s—dinner wasn’t until six—so she decided to do what she’d vowed to the night before. She went to call her dad and spotted a handful of missed texts from Katherine. The fact that she was jealous of Emily was obvious, but her suggestion that Emily was a toy bothered Alex even more. When she read Katherine’s vague, almost threatening line about paying up, Alex deleted the whole thread. As soon as the messages disappeared, she had the sudden worry that Emily might have seen the texts.
Alex tried to remember what time she’d given Emily her phone and realized with a sinking feeling that there was a good chance of an overlap. Shit. Should she call Emily now and apologize? Or let it go?
After too long debating, she dialed her dad. Maybe Emily hadn’t seen the texts. She had to hope for that. Her dad didn’t answer, and she waited for the answering machine to pick up. She left a message about how she’d gotten out his old record player, and then rang her brother.
“Hey, stranger. Do you have a rash somewhere I don’t want to know about?”
Alex laughed. “Nope.”
“Okay, wait. Let me guess again. You ate something at a street market in some little town in India and now you have diarrhea?”
“Not this time.”
“You’re vomiting in Mongolia?”
Alex laughed again. “I’m fine, Doc. Promise. I don’t have to be dying to call, you know.”
“Technically, that’s true. But what’s really wrong?”
“I missed you.” Alex sank down on the sofa, unable to keep the grin off her face. She had missed her brother more than she’d realized. It hit her like a rock at the sound of his voice.
“That’s all? You sure you aren’t at least missing a toenail after horseback riding in the outback?”
“You only get partial credit for that one. I did go horseback riding when I was in Australia, but that time I called you was because I thought my friend had heatstroke. And the busted nail wasn’t mine. That was a girl I was dating who’d gone rock climbing. In Utah. And I want to state for the record that the rash was on my legs. From sharing shin pads in my intramural soccer club. Not an STD like you said it might be.”
Rob laughed. “But you had safe sex after that, didn’t you?”
“Whatever.” Alex grinned into the phone. No one could argue that he didn’t know what he was doing, even if his methods were questionable. And his memory wasn’t bad either—even if he’d switched up a few of the events.
Ever since her big brother had gone to med school, she’d been using him as her personal advice line for any medical concern. With all her traveling, she’d had to bug him at all hours with questions he probably wished she’d never asked. But he never let her down. “How are you?”
“I’m good. Better now that I know you aren’t dying. Didn’t you also get some foot fungus thing when you were in Australia?”
“Thanks for remembering that one.”
Rob chuckled. “It is good to hear your voice.”
“Yours too. But you sound tired.”
“I’m beat. Totally fucking exhausted.” He sighed. “Welcome to my life. Every time I look forward to my days off, I remember I have a three-year-old and a four-year-old.”
“No sleeping in for you?”
“Not past five a.m.” He sighed again, this time heavily.
“How’s Chelsea?”
“She’s more tired than me. She’s the one waking up in the middle of the night with Joey. He started sleepwalking and now regularly scares the shit out of us. In the middle of the night I’ll wake up and he’s standing at the side of our bed staring at me. It’s creepy as hell.”
“Do you two want a break? I’m in town for the week.”
“Seriously? Damn straight I want a break. Why don’t you ever give me any warning when you’re gonna be here?”
Alex knew she should have given him some warning about her visit, but then he would have tried to talk her out of going to Katherine’s. “I wasn’t completely sure I was coming this time.”
“That’s what she said.”
“We gotta talk, bro. Chelsea deserves better.”
“Hey now,” Rob grumbled good-naturedly. “I’ll forgive you for that, and for not telling me you were gonna be in town, if you get your ass over here in the next ten minutes. Hold on.” Rob didn’t bother putting down the phone as he hollered to Chelsea and relayed the news.
“You only get me for two hours. I have to be at a dinner party at six. But I’m in town all week so we can set something up for later.”
“Wait a minute. This isn’t a Katherine dinner party, is it?”
“I know what you’re gonna say—”
“That you are never gonna get over her if you keep sleeping with her?”
Alex didn’t talk to Rob often, but he’d heard enough about Katherine and her drama to have his own opinion of her. “Do we have to have this conversation again?”
“Apparently. ’Cause you never listen even when I’m right.”
“You sound like a whiny kid.”
“Well, I hang out with a lot of whiny kids.”
“Maybe I could take them for a night this week? Give you and Chelsea some adult time?”
“Are you kidding? Hell, yes. Chelsea’s gonna kiss you. On the lips. Be prepared. For the record, that doesn’t get you out of talking to me about when you’re gonna find a woman and settle down.”
“You’re worse than Mom. Can we agree not to talk about my getting a girlfriend if I promise you I’m looking?” In fact, she’d had the same conversation with her mom a few weeks ago. She could joke about their goals for her, pretend she didn’t care when or if she found someone, but the truth was, she did care. She thought of Emily and how right everything had felt being with her. Sex aside, simply sitting together on the couch watching the fire and listening to music had made her happier than she’d been in a long time.
“You can’t have a serious relationship with anyone else until you cut Katherine out of your life. You know that, right?”
“I feel like we’ve had this conversation before.” About a dozen times. No matter how many times she argued that Katherine was only a friend with benefits, Rob refused to budge on his opinions. He was old-school when it came to relationships and needed to broaden his horizons. At least that was what she’d always told him. But had Emily pulled back because of Katherine? Maybe Emily had seen Katherine’s texts. Or maybe she’d pushed too hard for a date and Emily’s leaving had nothing to do with Katherine at all.
“I just think you’d be happy married, that’s all.”
Alex squeezed her eyes closed, exhausted by the gymnastics her brain was doing to make sense of the last twenty-four hours. “I don’t know that I’m cut out for a serious relationship, let alone marriage. Women are complicated.”
“Well, I can’t argue with you on that one.” Rob chuckled. “Get off the phone and get your butt over here. The kids are gonna go nuts when they see you.”
Chapter Twenty-six
After two hours playing auntie and wrestling with Joey and Lavender, Alex felt a little disoriented walking into Katherine’s quiet foyer. She was twenty minutes late and could hear by the subdued conversation coming from the dining room that the party had already started eating, but she didn’t rush to join them. As she took off her coat and boots, Rob’s words ran through her head: “You can’t have a serious relationship with anyone else until you cut Katherine out of your life.”
Alex had always argued that she’d stop having sex with Katherine as soon as she had a girlfriend who wanted to be monogamous. But Katherine’s texts from that morning had made her rethink even the boundaries she’d wanted to set up. It wouldn’t be enough to stop slee
ping with her only if she got involved with someone else. Their relationship needed to change regardless.
“Hi.”
Alex looked up at the sound of Emily’s voice. A rush of emotion slammed into her. Emily had soundly rebuked her that morning, but still her heart leapt to attention now. She couldn’t fight it. “Hey. You look amazing.”
“Thank you.”
“Like, really damn hot. Smoking hot, actually.”
Emily smirked. “Okay, stop. You’re gonna make me blush.”
“Actually, calling you ‘hot’ sounds crass and you definitely don’t look crass.” Alex held Emily’s gaze. “You’re absolutely stunning.”
Emily didn’t have a retort for that. She only narrowed her eyes, her smirk turning to a look of confident sexiness. Her brown hair fell in soft waves past her slender shoulders and a touch of makeup accentuated her eyes and full lips, but it was her silvery blue dress with a neckline that cut low and a slit up her thigh that had Alex rethinking her need for a girlfriend versus a night of fun.
“That dress is—”
“Not mine,” Emily interrupted. “But it’s nice, right? My friend Gianna turned me on to this website where you can rent just about any dress. I could never afford this, but I love it.” She smoothed the front of the dress and then looked back at Alex. “You look good too. Nice suit. Although your hair…”
Emily walked up to Alex. She gave a little half smile when Alex sucked in a breath. “It’s sticking straight up in the front and it’s all wacky in the back. Can I fix it for you?”
Alex nodded. Emily was close enough to kiss but Alex didn’t dare, despite the buzzing sensation on her lips. As Emily’s fingers combed her hair into place, the faint smell of her perfume and the heat between their bodies made Alex dizzy with longing.
“There. That’s better.” Emily stepped back. Her face didn’t show any evidence that the closeness had affected her. At least not as much as it had affected Alex, anyway.
“I was wrestling with my niece and nephew. That’s why I’m late.”
“You were wrestling in that outfit?”
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