The Friendship Equation

by J. R. Gray

  "I don't want to either."

  “I don’t want to do any of this without you…and I’m terrified my dad will try to take it all away.”

  I wrapped him up in a hug. “You’re not going to lose me.”

  He walked me towards the washer again. I didn't fight him. "I want to be able to touch you any time I want, and I don't want anyone else to."

  My ass hit the metal, and he reached between us, grabbing me through my sleep pants.

  "I only want you touching me," I hissed, seeking out his lips.

  He curled his tongue into my mouth. "Good. Because I might get violent if anyone else looks at you."

  "Violent, you say?" The idea made me vibrate with lust. A primal part of me wanted it all.

  "Mmhmm." His mouth clashed with mine as he pushed a hand into my pants, wrapping around my cock. "I need you, Van."

  "I can hear it in your voice," I said, playfully pushing into his touch.

  He grabbed my thighs again, lifting me, shooting adrenaline and pleasure through my nerves. "Like that, do you?"

  "Yes," I admitted.

  He pushed my thighs further apart, fitting his hips between my knees, groins meeting. "I want to fuck you right here."

  "Please," was the only word I could manage, my brain short circuiting. I couldn't process the need with which he touched me and all the things he'd said. I almost believed I was asleep. I was overwhelmed in the best possible ways.

  "Take my cock out, Finch."

  Secretly, I loved when he demanded things, but I wasn't sure I'd ever admit it to him. "I'm only doing this because I like your cock." My fingers dipped past his waistband, seeking out his hard-on.

  "Bullshit. I think you like when I get demanding."

  "Maybe." I wasn't going to give it to him so easily. He'd have to work for it if he ever wanted me to tell him how much I liked it.

  "You don't have to lie to me, baby, I know what you want." He brought a condom to his lips and tore it open. "I can't wait to be in your ass."

  I whimpered as he pressed the latex ring into my hands.

  "Put it on me."

  I took it from him and rolled it down his shaft. "Jesus, Harden."

  "I told you you liked when I ordered you around." He palmed my cock, the smirk on his lips making me want to fight, but the way he touched me felt too good.

  "Shut up and fuck me."

  "Tell me how much you need me." He clicked open the bottle of lube.

  "And if I don't?" I said, attention fixed on him coating his fingers.

  "Put your knee up on the edge." He pressed two fingers against my opening.

  I did as he asked.

  "I don't have to fuck you, Vance. I can make you get on your knees. I'll come either way."

  "No!" I said it way too loud and clapped a hand over my mouth.

  We both stilled, listening. Seconds ticked by, and the house remained silent. He probed my ring and kissed me intensely, but he didn’t penetrate me, leaving me breathless with anticipation.

  "Are you going to say it?" He pressed two fingers past my opening as he spoke.

  I clamped my teeth together against the burning, pressing my face into his shoulder.

  "Too much?" he asked curling his fingers.

  I grabbed my dick, shaking my head, not trusting my voice.

  His body stiffened as I pulled on my cock. "Like that?"

  "Of course I do," I said, breathless as he relentlessly massaged my prostate. My spine straightened, and I made an inhuman sound.

  He froze. "Bad?"

  "No, fuck...really good."

  He did it again. "This?"

  I nodded, swallowing and grabbing him by the back of the neck so he'd kiss me again. He did, adding a third finger, fucking them in and out of me while rutting his dick against my thigh. Squeezing the base of my dick, I couldn't take it anymore. He had to get inside me.

  "Harden."

  “What? More?” he asked, eyes alight.

  "Yes." Pleasure took all the air from my lungs, making be dizzy with need. "Fuck me."

  "I knew you'd ask." He withdrew his fingers, and my body mourned the loss.

  I clutched at his hips, his ass, his thighs. He couldn't get into me fast enough. I had to have him and now. "Hurry up."

  "So impatient," he said, rubbing his head over my opening but he didn't push inside. Instead, he let his shaft glide up against mine.

  Back and forth, rocking his tip against me then riding up.

  "Harden, I can't stand it. Please.”

  He grabbed himself and pushed, breaching my body, connecting us, making us one. My eyes clamped shut, overwhelmed with the intensity of the connection. So much pressure. Nearly too much. Pain flashed white behind my eyelids, and I grunted into his lips. He wrapped his arms around me, hugging my chest to his as he slowly took me. Rocking, rutting, entering me inch by inch as my body got used to the intrusion.

  "Still with me?"

  More nodding and soft gasps as he started to hit the same spot with his head where his fingers had been.

  "Fuuuuck."

  "There it is. Starting to feel good?"

  "Yes." My cries strangled in my throat with each pronounced thrust.

  Our bodies worked together as he devoured my mouth. I grabbed my cock again, stroking like my life depended on it, and soon, I painted both of us. Hitting his chest and abs with my release. Moaning and pulsing as wave after wave overtook me.

  "Harden. Harden. Harden!" My voice full of emotion, more than I could say. He drank down all my words as he reached his own climax. His body trembled, and his thrusts quickened while he encouraged my pleasure with his gruff voice, telling me to come.

  We collapsed against one another, sweaty and breathing hard.

  "Wow, that was even better than last time," I said, wiping my brow with my forearm.

  A knock sounded at the door. "You two 'bout done in there?"

  Fifteen

  "Shit." I'd never thrown on clothes so fast. Once they were right, I whipped toward Harden who ran his fingers through his hair, trying to fix it. "What do I say?” I mouthed.

  He lifted his shoulders.

  "Fuck." I opened the door and stepped out of reach, cringing. My father had never hit me, but I didn't want this to be where it started.

  He eyed me, and then Harden. I swallowed hard, waiting for him to explode. He didn't say anything. He just stood there. Had he had a stroke?

  I waved a hand. "Are you dead?"

  "No." His voice was so quiet.

  I took another step back and bumped into Harden. He slipped a protective arm around my chest. What the fuck was going on? Talk about being terrified of my father but also swooning in the same minute. My brain was going to implode from an overload of emotions.

  Silence stretched between us until it felt like the air crackled.

  My father looked between the two of us, and then his gaze shifted. "I don't want to talk about this in here. Come downstairs." He turned and stalked back down.

  I turned in Harden's arms and pressed my face into his chest. I knew this wasn't our relationship dynamic, but I couldn't not. I needed to be hugged if only for a moment. He tightened both arms around me and leaned his cheek into my temple. Most days I didn't notice the height difference, but today, I drowned in it. I loved it. I wished he'd hold me like this every day and not just when my father was about to be a raging tool.

  "You can move in with me if he kicks you out."

  "No, I can't. Remember how your parents are acting?"

  "Van, I will talk to them. They wouldn't let you live on the streets. I don't care what they say. You can't stay here if he's going to get…” He didn't have to finish his sentence. I knew where he was going.

  "I don't think..." Did I really know? I felt like I didn't know anything. The ground moved under my feet too fast.

  "I guess we can see what he says." His voice came hesitantly like he really thought he was going to have to fight my dad.

  "Shit. I'm sorry."


  "Why are you sorry?" He pulled back enough to look into my face.

  I pressed back in near his collar bone. "Because..." I didn't really have a valid reason I could say out loud to him. It was all a jumble of things.

  "Because?" he prompted.

  "I don't know." Suddenly, I was so emotionally drained, I didn't know how to deal with it.

  He slid a finger under my chin and forced my face up. I tried to fight it, but he didn't give up. He made me look at him. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

  "I feel like I've fucked all of this up."

  He brushed his lips over mine, silencing me. "I came to you. I snuck in your window and I'm not sorry about any of it. I wanted to be here with you." There was nothing but clarity in his words. Steady. He'd been my rock for so long, I didn't know why I expected anything else. "No sorries. We are dealing with stuff as it comes. If our parents won’t accept us, we’ll move in together or something. It’s you and me.”

  I hugged him again. "We should face this."

  "Yes. We have to."

  I didn't meet my father's eyes as I walked down the stairs. He wasn't in his recliner where he spent most of the time. Instead, he stood behind the counter, both hands pressed into it.

  None of this looked like it would go well.

  I crossed the room, not sure what to do with my limbs. Like I could stand in a way that would make it less bad I was getting dicked down in the laundry room.

  My nerves morphed into rage.

  I don't know where it came from but suddenly, I was irate. If he'd caught me with a girl, he'd probably be fucking high fiving me. Congratulating me for hooking up. Would he fucking even care I'd snuck someone into the house? I doubted it. He'd had more than one girlfriend sleeping here over the years, but because I wanted a guy and not a girl, he was like this. I didn't get a normal fucking teenage experience because he had some fucking stupid notion about love.

  "Vance..."

  I cut him off. "I don't give a damn what you're going to say."

  My dad blinked. "Excuse me?"

  I tried to stalk toward him but something caught my shirt, stopping me in my tracks. I glanced over my shoulder to find Harden with a firm grip on it.

  "Let go."

  "Fuck no," Harden said, almost sounding amused.

  I turned on him, momentarily forgetting the existence of my father. "What are you doing?"

  "I'm not letting you start a fist fight with your father."

  "That wasn't my..." I didn't know what I'd been planning. I'd been totally driven by emotions.

  "Still. You can stay here, and he can stay over there.” Harden's tone left no room for arguing.

  "Fine," I said through my teeth, turning back to my father.

  Harden didn't release my shirt, but he added a hand to the small of my back. I stared at my father, a little shocked he'd let the exchange pass without saying anything. I searched his face, the anger having gone out of me too.

  What did that leave me with? I wasn't sure. Resignation maybe. This was what it was, and I would have to deal with it. I had my best friend by my side.

  "You don't get to speak to me that way," my father said at length.

  "Sorry, sir." I wasn't going to fight about semantics. It would only cloud this and turn it away from the issue.

  He nodded and rubbed his brow. "How long has this been going on?"

  "A couple of weeks." I turned away, not wanting to see the disgust on his face. I didn't have energy for it right now. I didn't want this night ruined. I wanted to hold on to the good for at least a little longer.

  "You two shouldn't be sneaking around."

  My head snapped up, and I met his gaze. "What?"

  "It's not good for him to be driving around this late with curfew. His father wouldn't be happy 'bout him getting caught on the wrong side of the law with what he's got going on."

  I coughed. "What do you care?"

  "Your tone."

  Harden stepped up alongside me. He'd released my shirt, but he kept his hand on my lower back. "I don't think he's trying to be disrespectful, sir. I think he's confused."

  "Yes," I managed.

  "I know for a fact his father is going to make some arbitrary rule about him being here if he ends up arrested for it.” He crossed his arms over his chest and shifted his stance. "If he wants to sleep here, they're gonna allow it. Don't pull this sneaking around crap. Your biggest mistake will be giving them any reason at all to cite the campaign as a reason to keep you two apart."

  I looked from my dad to Harden. "What the fu...hell is going on?" I barely cut off the fuck, my father had me so off balance.

  "What is so hard to understand about this?” He rubbed his forehead. "Do you want them to come up with reasons to keep you apart? You said they were being weird, right?"

  I had told him that. It felt like a year ago we'd talked about Governor Hart running for office. "Yes."

  "Well if they walk in on you like I did, you don't think it's gonna make it worse?”

  My ears started to ring, and I tried to figure out what was happening, but my brain didn't want to accept it.

  "And you're talking about sneaking out?”

  "Yes, so he doesn't get in trouble." My father gestured at Harden. "Just tell his parents he's sleeping here. So much easier on everyone, and then you two won't get in trouble. That's why you were here the last couple times, right?"

  "I'm sorry." I held up a hand. "I'm confused."

  "About?" my father asked.

  "Are you lecturing me about how best to fool Harden's parents and not at all about fucking him in the laundry room?"

  "Language," he snapped.

  "SORRY." I pushed my fingers into my hair, combing it back. "Can someone explain to me what's going on?"

  "I think what your dad is trying to do is help us." I could hear the smile in Harden's voice.

  "Thank you. I thought I was being pretty clear."

  I glanced between them again. "Am I missing a vital piece of information?”

  "He never listens," my father scoffed.

  "Believe me, I know."

  "I am legitimately confused. Could someone enlighten me?"

  "Your dad is fine with us." Harden tugged me closer and kissed my temple.

  I winced, expecting my father to freak out at the PDA.

  "He gets it," my father said.

  "You're not upset I was fu... with a guy in the laundry room?”

  "Oh no, I'm quite upset you defiled my laundry room. You two will be sanitizing it."

  I blinked.

  "Yes, sir," Harden replied.

  "I need to circle back."

  My father gestured for me to go on.

  "You're not upset I'm..." I couldn't say it.

  "You're what?" he pressed.

  The word stuck in my throat. “That, I, um—that I like guys."

  "Nope. Don't care who you like as long as they treat you well."

  Harden squeezed me. "I do."

  I put a hand over my mouth. "Really?"

  "I don't know how else to tell you."

  "And he can still sleep here?" I clarified.

  "I'd be a little hypocritical if I said he couldn't."

  Harden laughed. "Like most parents."

  "That's not how I prefer to do things," my father said. "I think if I'm setting the example and having someone sleep here, I can't really tell you not to."

  I side-eyed Harden, still in shock. "Can he sleep here tonight? We have practice and—”

  My father held up his hand, cutting me off. “Course. He's not gonna get a ticket driving home. He needs to message his parents and make something up, though. I'll back him up if I need to."

  "Thank you," I said barely above a whisper.

  "Now go sleep. I'm beat, and you two are loud."

  Harden grabbed my hand and pulled me towards my room when I didn't move right away. My knees shook and wouldn't hold my weight when I closed my door behind us.

  "Are you oka
y?" He pushed off his pants, attention on me.

  "Better now that your pants are off."

  Harden rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean." He came over and offered me a hand.

  "I don't know. That wasn't how I was expecting that to go at all." I took it and let him pull me to my feet. He pushed off my sleep pants when our bodies met.

  "None of these in bed."

  "Is that all you have to say about the entire situation?" I asked, letting him pull off my shirt next. "I'm going to freeze."

  He tugged off his and tossed them on the floor before walking backward towards the bed. "I'll keep you warm.” He sat on the edge and released my hands, scooting back. "Come on." I climbed in after him, and he collected me in his arms, letting me lay my head on his chest.

  Something had shifted in us. We were different. The night felt like it had been a year and all that we'd said before getting caught needed to be recapped or something.

  "What is this?"

  "Us sleeping together?" Harden said, voice thick with sleep.

  "Are we...boyfriends?"

  "Is that what you want to be?" He stroked his fingers down my spine. “Isn’t that the whole conversation we just had?”

  "Yes." I peeked up at him. "Are you okay with calling it that?"

  "I'm yours, and it doesn't matter what we call each other as long as I get to keep doing this."

  Sixteen

  Time sped up and slowed down at the same time. We settled into things being the same and entirely different, including a lot more sex, and I wasn't complaining one bit.

  We switched to spending more time at my house with full support from my father. Harden told his parents it was easier with practice and being closer to the school, which wasn't a lie, but it also wasn't the truth. He was avoiding telling them he didn’t want to take part in his father’s plan, but as time ticked down, I knew it weighed on him. Weighed on his soul to let his father down, no matter how angry he was.

  We fucked and watched movies and did homework, all the things we normally did, but we were so much closer now, his hands were always on me no matter what we were doing, and we fell into full indulgence with one another. Our own private world and I never wanted this year to end.