I had spent the day with his parents, mostly becoming his mother’s kitchen helper, but I hadn’t minded. I had to turn down her offers of sweet treats, reminding her that I needed my figure intact for my career. I had been impatient to meet Will, but when he finally had arrived in the evening, he had been dead tired on his feet. He had barely spoken throughout dinner, and when we settled in the living room, he had fallen asleep. I had been hoping that after his parents fell asleep, we could have fooled around some, probably not stopping this time. The condom and lube continued to mock me that I wasn't being filled up the way I wanted. Instead, I’d ended up covering him up with a quilt on the sofa where he fell asleep.
I had felt better somewhat when in the middle of the night, I’d felt him slip into bed with me. Although it had been dark, when I woke up to the feel of him pulling me against him to spoon, I had known it was him. We had kissed, he had gotten me as hard as a rock then had promptly fallen asleep again. He had been gone this morning before I woke up, leaving on his pillow a rose he had stolen from one of his mother’s vases. A note had accompanied the rose that he would make it up to me tonight.
At the ringing of my cell phone, I dug it out of my pocket and frowned in disappointment that it wasn’t Willy calling but my agent, Thomas. I was usually excited to get a call from Thomas because he almost always had news about some new gig he had gotten me. He was truly a gem, and I would have never made it this far in my career without his representation. He was an expert at what he did, and he was the one who had suggested that I branded myself as an androgynous model.
“It’s all the rage right now,” he had told me. “The fashion world likes eccentric, weird, and with your features, you could easily wear a dress as well as a pantsuit. You’ll be the next face of a genderless society.”
“Hi Thomas, happy holidays,” I greeted him.
“Happy holidays to you too,” he answered. “How are things going in that godforsaken state you come from?”
I chuckled. He always made it seem like Alabama was the worst place on earth I could have come from. “Actually, everything’s going great, Thomas. I’m having the time of my life.”
“Good to know. You deserved the break, but I’m afraid you won’t be able to spend New Year's Day in Alabama as you planned.”
“Why not?” Alarm bells went off in my head at the thought of me leaving Willy so soon after just getting to know him. I didn’t want to leave him yet. We were just getting to know each other.
“I’ve secured you a lineup in Paris Fashion Week Men’s.”
“Oh my God!” I gasped. Paris Fashion Week Men’s was huge. This had of course been on the agenda when I had confirmed my participation in the mini event in Paris, but Thomas had rightly told me not to think of it too much. Models were booked even a year in advance for the event.
“Told you I’d try to work my magic, baby,” Thomas crooned.
“How the hell did you manage it?”
“Oh it was easy. Just had to sleep with one of the main coordinators.”
“You’re kidding.”
He chuckled. “Maybe, or maybe not. The only thing that matters is that you’re in. It’s not a big part. You only walk the catwalk twice, but we’re going to milk everything we can out of this for publicity.”
I ran my fingers through my hair, so excited to tell Willy the good news. “I’m so happy I could kiss you,” I told him.
“I’ll hold you to it,” he remarked. “Of course you’ve always shied away from anything intimate.” His tone sounded almost petulant. It was the one thing Thomas and I had disagreed on. He had hit on me, but I didn’t see him that way. It was also a bad idea to sleep with someone who had my career in his hands. If there was a bad breakup, my career could plunge because of it.
“Come on, man. You know it’s better to keep things professional.” I paused, making a decision in a split second. “Besides I’ve met someone.”
“You’ve met someone? It’s just been three days since you’ve been away.”
“I’m not saying I’m in love. Just that I’ve met someone, but it could become so much more.”
He gave a snort. “Well, it’s too bad you’ll have to cut your acquaintance short. You’ll need to be here for an interview I have set up for you to talk about your upcoming stint in Paris. You also have a winter shoot the first week of January. There will be other things of course, but for now, these are the two most urgent ones.”
Undecided, I rose to my feet, running my fingers through my hair. I usually entrusted my career in Thomas’s hands, but how could I move on from Willy so quickly? I wished I hadn’t given him the authority to book me for stuff without consulting me, but before this, I didn’t have anyone who would have given a damn if I was around or not. Cam hadn’t minded my absence. The better it had been for him to sample as much ass as he could while I was away.
“Can’t they be postponed?” I asked him.
“Come on, Ainsley. You want to postpone your gigs because of some random guy you’ve just met?”
“He’s not just a random guy.”
“May I remind you that you didn’t think Cam was a random guy either, neither Vick. Nor Marlon. You’re smarter than this, Ainsley. Your career means the world to you. Guys come and guys go. They sample something new then they get tired of it and move on. You can’t postpone these events for a random dude. You didn’t even postpone anything on Cam’s behalf.”
That’s because Cam never really cared, but I can tell Willy does. I couldn’t say the words because Thomas was right about a few things. Men would always be men. Oh, they complimented, and they were taken by my looks, but after a while, it was never enough to hold their interest. There would be another pretty boy, or trips to Thailand to meet ladyboys as I had discovered had become popular. How could I put my career on hold for a man I still knew very little about?
At the same time, how could I let go something so powerful that was between us?
“I’ll call and talk to you about it,” I told Thomas. “I just need some space to clear my head.”
“You do that and clear your head good, Ainsley. I’ve been with you for the past two years. I placed your ass on the map of modeling, and everything you have right now is because I went the extra mile. Don’t fuck this up because you think you’re in love. It’s fucking Christmas, and you’re catching feelings. By the time winter’s over, you’ll realize it was just you being caught up in the moment. I’ll be waiting for your call.”
He hung up before I could respond, and I hated that he sounded so pissed off at me. We had never argued about gigs before, even when he booked me back to back and had me flying all over the place. I knew he did it for the good of both of us. What I did was grueling work. I had no idea how hard until I started working with him, but he had shown me that if I wanted to be on top, I was going to have to sacrifice. Even relationships.
I needed to see Willy after the conversation I had with Thomas. I couldn’t wait for him to come home. After pacing around the house, I realized how frustrating I must have appeared to Willy’s parents so I excused myself and went upstairs. I was standing by the shelf in the room, admiring his photos when there was a knock on the door.
“Come in,” I called.
The door opened, and Willy’s father entered. “You okay up here?” he asked.
My face went red. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you and Martha.”
His smile was gentle and compassionate. “No need to apologize, son. I remember the pains of new love. Martha nearly drove me crazy too when I couldn’t see her.”
My gaze dropped to the floor, and butterflies swirled around in my stomach. Love? No, I didn’t love Willy. It was too soon for love. But it was everything else that was not love but close. “I can’t wait for him to get here,” I admitted, sounding pathetic but not able to do a damn thing about it. Willy had me wrapped around those fingers of his.
“Do you want to borrow my car and drive to the clinic?” he asked. “I can g
ive you the address.”
I had another moment of feeling useless. “It wouldn’t help. I never learned how to drive.”
To give him credit, he didn’t show how surprised he was at the news. “Then I’ll take you,” he volunteered.
I wanted to accept so badly. I needed a hug. I needed Willy’s lips on mine, reminding me that our fake relationship was slowly turning real. “I can’t put you out of your way like that.” Oh, but I wanted to.
“It’s no trouble at all,” he answered. “In fact, there are a couple things I need to get for Christmas anyway. I can drop you off at the clinic then pick you back up on the way home.”
Relief washed over me. “If it’s not too much trouble, can I go with you first to pick out a Christmas gift? I didn’t get Willy anything yet. Maybe you can help me? You may know what he likes.”
He chuckled. “Willy’s a big boy. I fathom what he likes these days are a little out of my league to guess.” He winked at me, and I smiled at him. I couldn’t even find it in myself to be embarrassed anymore. His parents were so down to earth and accepting of us that I found myself secretly longing for them to see me as their son as well. I wouldn’t mind coming back home more often if I was coming home to this warmth, welcome, and acceptance.
Chapter Twelve
Will
When I left Ainsley in bed sleeping this morning, it had been one of the hardest things I had done of late. With his features softened in sleep and snuggled up to me, stealing my body warmth, I had watched him sleeping for the longest time while feeling my heart give way to new possibilities. Ainsley was unlike anyone I had ever met. Every time I remembered how he had gone down on me in the sleigh, I smiled. And got hard all over again. We had re-entered the house to knowing looks from my parents, but I had been too giddy from the experience to feel embarrassed. My only regret that night had been not going down on him too, but he had seemed content just being in my arms kissing me. I had enjoyed being with him like that too much to let him go.
I had intended to sneak out of the house before anyone knew I had slept over, but Mama was up early, baking eggnog-panettone bread pudding. She had a teasing gleam in her eyes as she asked if I slept well then offered me a cup of coffee. I had declined the coffee and made my hasty retreat before she asked the questions I saw in her eyes.
On the way home from my parents’ house, I dropped by the cemetery to visit my late husband. I liked checking to ensure his headstone was clean, well taken care of and not overgrown with weeds. I spoke to him about Ainsley and begged his forgiveness again for not taking him to the hospital when he first wanted to go. Maybe in time I would come to peace with it, but every time I thought about it now, I couldn’t help the guilt.
By the time I arrived home, showered, dressed and made it to the clinic, I was late. Our clinic was small, staffed by three veterinarians. Lynn was currently on maternity leave, so Ray and I shared the responsibilities. We also had a receptionist at the front desk, two kennel assistants, and a veterinary-assistant-in-training. Neither of the kennel assistants showed up which made work doubly hard for me. One had called in sick, and the other hadn’t bothered to call. When I asked for the veterinary-assistant-in-training, I was reminded by our receptionist, Rhoda, that yesterday had been her last day. I was stunned because I had been so preoccupied with Ainsley I hadn’t realized. Yesterday had also been a hectic day, and all I had thought about was finishing up and dropping by my parents to see Ainsley.
I asked the receptionist to deliver a basket to the assistant to show our gratitude for the past four months she had worked with us. I had already advised her to apply to the clinic as soon as she finished her degree because she was hardworking, and seeing her around the animals was a pleasure.
The morning started off slow, with me doing the usual rounds of checking on our overnight staying animals. We only had two dogs on overnight stay. One had suffered a seizure and was under constant watch. The other, Chloe, had a kidney disease and was awaiting renal transplant. The biggest worry in Chloe’s case was not getting a kidney in time, but we were all being hopeful.
Just before the lunch hour, I got a call from a couple who worked at an animal shelter just some few minutes away from the clinic. The couple, Devon and Cathy, had found three newborn puppies in a dumpster. Given our uncommon temperature drop this winter, I prepared myself for the possibility of hypothermia. Depending on how long they had been dumped, the animals would not have been able to survive the temperature. Without their mother’s body heat, they wouldn’t be producing enough to keep themselves warm. I hoped for the best, that maybe they had found some warmth among the garbage in the dumpster.
When the couple arrived, I had to confirm that it was already too late for one of the puppies. My heart heavy at the condition they had been found in, I tried desperately to save the other two. They were in a bad way. Hypothermia had already started to set in, and signs showed that they might have picked up bacteria from the dumpster as well. While working on them, I lost another.
I tried not to dwell on the losses even though I knew later I would contemplate it. I always did. It took a while to get over the loss of an animal. That was the reason I had no pets, even though I loved animals. The loss of a loved one, man or animal, was difficult to handle.
Cathy and Devon left to open their shelter, promising to keep in touch. I barely noticed them leaving as my whole attention was on the puppy. I knew all the odds were stacked against us. Puppies without their parents were usually at risk of losing body heat. That this one had been found out in the cold complicated everything. I couldn’t expose the little one to too much heat either as this would cause overheating. What followed was a painstaking procedure of constant checks of temperature and the use of heat pads and heat lamps to raise the animal’s body temperature. The poor mite was also dehydrated and lethargic. Fearful of him slipping into a coma, I tried desperately to feed him out of a small bottle, but he refused to latch onto the nipple. Only a few dribbles trickled into his mouth, and I couldn’t say for certain that any went down his throat.
The puppy had my undivided attention for the next few hours. I was relieved when I noted the body temperature was also back to normal, and I replaced the body lamp with a warm blanket. The puppy squirmed around which was a good sign, considering how lethargic he had been when he was brought in.
After attempting to feed him for the third time, I realized how hungry I was. I hadn’t eaten any breakfast, and preoccupied with the puppy, I hadn’t eaten lunch either. I entered my office and contemplated what I wanted to eat. I didn’t want to go out and leave the puppy in the event he needed me. I decided on calling to have takeout delivered, but I wanted to first check up on Ainsley. I had my cell in hand when the phone on my desk buzzed.
I recognized the extension from the receptionist desk and answered. “Yes, Rhoda?”
“Dr. Hicks, you have a visitor,” she answered. “Ainsley Adams. He said you are his boyfriend?”
Rhoda’s tone was heavy with disbelief, and I couldn’t blame her. Since my husband’s passing, I had become married to my job with little time for romance. No wonder I was so taken with Ainsley. He brought out the best of me that I had tried to get rid of when Luke died.
“I’ll be right there,” I told Rhoda and hung up the phone.
What was Ainsley doing here? I couldn’t say I was displeased. He was exactly what I needed right now. I left my office door open as I hurried along the corridor out to the receptionist and waiting area. It was like all the problems of this morning drifted from my shoulders when I saw him sitting in one of the chairs. When he saw me, his dimples appeared, and he rose to his feet. He looked good as always, flowing hair loose about his shoulders and just lightly mussed. He wore jeans and a long sleeve sweater shirt with the words Being Gay Is Like Glitter, It Never Goes Away. He wasn’t wearing heels today but a pair of high-top Converse sneakers which suited the skinny jeans.
Aware of Rhoda watching us, I still couldn’t resist cuppin
g his face and kissing him. His hands covered mine, and he raised himself on tiptoes to return the kiss. He sighed, a sexy sound that had me springing an erection. I released his lips before it got out of hand.
“Hey, what are you doing here?” I twirled a strand of his hair around my finger.
He shrugged and hooked his thumbs into the front loops of my jeans. “It’s probably corny to tell you I missed you?”
“Then it’s a good thing I like corny. How did you get here?” He had confessed that he didn’t drive. He never learned while he lived in Alabama, and in New York, he’d had no need to learn with the ease of getting transportation.
“Your dad needed to go to the mall,” he answered. “He saw how I was pining after you so he took pity on me and dropped me off. After we went shopping. I had to get gifts for everyone, including you.”
I glanced at Rhoda, and just as I suspected, she was watching us with interest. I wrapped my hand around his left wrist and pulled him after me. “Let’s go to my office where we can talk in private.”
“Hmm, you sure we’re just going to talk?” he asked, biting his bottom lip. “I can think of other things we could do.”
“Like what?”
He dug into his pockets and came up with a condom and a small packet of lube. “I came prepared.”
I grabbed his ass and turned him into the wall, knowing no one else was around except Rhoda. “You horny little devil. This is the real reason you came, didn’t you? Have you been thinking about my cock since you blew me?”
Damned if he backed down. He reached for my hips and pulled me into him so my cock was brushing his stomach. He peered up at me with a half-smile. “It was either this or seek an exorcist,” he replied on a moan. “I chose the one that would give me more pleasure. Plus, it’s the easier option. Where the hell would I find an exorcist?”
I leaned into him as though I was about to kiss him. His lips parted eagerly, but I eased back without allowing our mouths to touch. I loved the frustrated look on his face. “Who says I’m easy?”
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