‘Okay. I get the message, loud and clear. Don’t end up like Granddad. Although from what I’ve seen he’s not exactly unhappy with his life as it is now.’
Cressida glances in my direction and we exchange disbelieving shakes of the head.
‘And how would you know that, Cary, if you’ve never asked the question?’ I level at him. Then I realise I probably took the words out of Cressida’s mouth.
‘So how did you get to meet my rather retiring, estranged husband?’
‘It’s a long story,’ I admit rather reluctantly.
‘Well, maybe Cary could go off and sort out a nice pot of tea while we have a chat in my sitting room?’
Cressida immediately links arms and steers me in the direction of the half-open, hidden doorway, leaving Cary with no option but to do as she bid him.
I keep it simple and tell her that, following on from my divorce, saying goodbye to Nathan’s family is allowing me to begin the next chapter of my life. She seemed to understand that it was a dilemma, but also something I had to do.
‘That says a lot about you, Leesa, as it must have been a very difficult visit. I’m just a little surprised… I mean, Cary is such a closed person. Very black and white. Right or wrong.’
‘And you think I’m ruled by my heart, rather than my head?’
She takes a moment to consider that statement.
‘No. I think you might have been like that at one time but now I think you’re veering in the other direction. It’s called self-preservation. I know it’s annoying when people insist on giving you advice when you haven’t asked for it; the person offering it, though, often has a genuinely good reason for doing so. Sharing one’s own experiences, painful lessons that are never forgotten, is a way of trying to avoid someone else going through the exact same thing.
‘Don’t veer too far in the other direction, will you? And don’t let Cary convince you his way is the right way to conduct a relationship. The safest option is always in the middle, rarely to one extreme or the other.’
15
The Perfect End to the Christmas from Hell
‘Jeff? Why aren’t you down on the beach sharing a cold beer with Tania?’
He’s certainly the last person I expected to be ringing me as I’m getting ready to go down for a cosy, adults-only dinner this evening. And I’ve been told to dress up which, given the contents of my suitcase, means wearing a black jersey knit dress and draping a scarf around the neckline to add some colour.
‘Your mum’s been texting me. What’s this about you and Cary Anderson? She seems to think the two of you have hit it off and is asking questions.’
My stomach does an involuntary lurch.
‘What sort of questions?’
‘The name of his company and a casual “what’s he like”, which wasn’t casual at all. What’s going on?’
I can’t tell Mum one story and Jeff another.
‘Cary and I are dating. How’s Tania?’
‘What do you mean, dating? He was a bloody nuisance and he was driving you insane wanting to tweak every single little thing. And I haven’t even looked at the last few emails you sent me with further updates. Every change he makes impacts on something else. It’s beyond crazy.’
I agree with him but somehow we must pull it all together cohesively.
‘It was a long trip back and Cary is quite different when he’s not in work mode.’
‘Your mum said you were staying with his family?’
I don’t believe it! This means Mum is concerned about me, as she’s usually very discreet and gives nothing away.
‘Oh, and I’m not supposed to mention it to you but she’s worried. I guess it all went off okay with the ex-in-laws, then.’
I bet none of this makes any sense to him; he knows me only too well. Besides, I’m still coming to terms with it all myself.
But my gut instincts are screaming at me because there’s something else going on here. Jeff isn’t a gossip and I’ve always known he’s Mum’s little fallback when she doesn’t want to bother me. But he thinks it’s their little secret and suddenly he’s not concerned whether I know they talk. So, the fact that he wants to get to the bottom of it means something else is up.
‘No, it didn’t. Jeff, what aren’t you telling me?’
Silence.
More silence. I wait, patiently.
‘You were right,’ he confirms. ‘Tania is a great girl.’
That’s it? Another wait. A little less patiently this time… three, four, five—
‘Tania is off travelling in the New Year. She’s asked me to go with her.’
I try to keep myself calm.
‘Travelling? What, around Australia?’
Okay, so he’s going to want some time off and that means juggling the work schedule.
‘No. Thailand and then on to Malaysia for starters.’
For starters?
‘I know this is all very sudden, Leesa,’ he continues, ‘and I hate doing it to you. But I guess I’ve been waiting all my life for something like this to happen to me. It’s like I’ve suddenly woken up and realised there’s more to life than living and working in the town in which you were born. I feel bad about it but I’m handing in my notice. The timing is awful, it being Christmas and all, but I wanted to give you fair warning. I’ll fly back to the UK for the second of January as originally planned, to wrap everything up. I also need to sort out what I’m going to do with the house. I appreciate that it puts you in an awkward position. But I know someone I think could step in and take my place. You could give him a try.’
I can’t quite take this in.
‘Jeff, you aren’t leaving the UK for good, are you?’
I hear a sharp intake of breath. ‘The truth is, I just don’t know for sure where I’m going to end up, Leesa. It would be wrong of me to pretend otherwise. Tania is quite a live wire and she doesn’t let anything hold her back. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before and suddenly nothing else in my life is important any more.’
Jeff has lost his mind! He’s throwing away everything he’s worked for – his whole career.
‘But how will you manage for money? And what about your family?’ I hope I don’t sound like I’m being negative when he sounds so happy. But bubbles burst and if—
‘Look, don’t worry about me. You need to focus on recruiting someone to replace me. I appreciate that the last thing you need right now is work stress when you’ve finally found someone you actually want to get into a relationship with. That’s a huge deal for you and I don’t want my news to throw you off course. I’m just a tad surprised that someone turned out to be Cary Anderson, though. I found him bordering on rude at times and I wondered if he was born into money. You know the sort; they take everything and everyone for granted. I don’t want to seem negative, here, Leesa but this isn’t a rebound thing, is it? I’d hate for you to get hurt again so soon.’
This is hard because now I want to defend Cary, even though I can totally understand why Jeff would think that.
‘No, I’m being careful and it might not go anywhere, anyway. He’s a nice man underneath that cool, professional veneer and he’s been under a lot of pressure, that’s all. But Tania, well… she is lovely but I didn’t see this coming. I mean, backpacking is a very different lifestyle choice. But all that matters is that you’re happy.’
I mean that and besides, Jeff doesn’t owe me anything, other than to finish off the work in progress. And his concern for me is touching.
‘Guess we’re both a little apprehensive about the next step,’ he jokes.
‘I am excited for you, Jeff. Email me that guy’s details and I’ll make contact. It’s just that I’m going to miss having you around.’ My voice creaks to an uncertain halt.
‘I know, and Leesa, please know that this is the last thing I ever thought would happen. When I get back we’ll focus on finishing off Cary’s precious little project. And don’t worry, it will come together and he’ll be de
lighted with the end result. It’s going to be my number one priority. Besides, I can’t really allow myself to relax about the future until I know you’re sorted – business-wise as well as personally.’
‘I knew you wouldn’t let me down, Jeff.’
I try hard not to let my voice wobble. Jeff isn’t only my best friend and employee, but he knows me better than anyone. He’s like a brother to me and here I am, unwilling to let him go when I should be celebrating his good news. But I’m also worried because it’s clear he has his doubts about Cary and me. And no wonder. This is the first time I’ve ever lied to Jeff and it doesn’t sit well with me.
Mum’s going to miss him, too, because he’s like a surrogate son and he’s always been her comfort zone. Someone to keep an eye on me, she’s always said. But now she’ll be worried because if Jeff didn’t know very much about my relationship with Cary, then she’ll wonder what I’m hiding.
What on earth am I going to do? One problem has turned into two and they couldn’t be more different but both mean that my whole life is now in turmoil.
‘I’m happy for you, Jeff, really I am. But nothing is going to be the same without you, bro.’
‘I can’t pretend it isn’t a little scary, Leesa. But when I’m with Tania she gives me a sort of confidence I didn’t have before. I’ll do that email now and don’t tell your mum I blabbed. She’s just a bit anxious given everything you’ve been through in this last year. I didn’t say very much, only that Cary seemed like a sound bloke. Speak soon and remember, I’m always only a phone call away. I’ll still have your back when you need me.’
As the line disconnects I hate the fact that everyone is still worrying about me. Well, I’m strong and determined. It’s a huge dent losing Jeff, I will admit, and finding the right person to fill his shoes isn’t going to be easy.
Ironically, it seems that Cary is the perfect person to have in my life right now; he isn’t overly emotional, he’s a strong individual and we seem to fit together quite well. After all, isn’t a relationship a bit like any contract between two willing parties? And without Jeff, the go-to man in my life, I’m probably going to be in need of a listening ear.
Jeff is giving up a lot to please Tania, but on the reverse side of that she seems to have given him a new lease of life and a fresh perspective. I can’t begrudge him that because I want him to be happy and if this is what it takes then I should suck it up and be happy for him. I wonder if Cary is, unwittingly, about to give me a new lease of life?
The first think I do is to send Mum that photo I took of Cary.
Thought you might like to see the man your daughter is dating. Did I mention that his grandmother is Cressida Anderson, the famous author? Dressing for dinner now but I’ll tell you more tomorrow, promise! Lx
That should at least reassure her. Obviously, Jeff hasn’t broken his own news to her yet and when he does she will be reeling. The timing of this is unfortunate but then life is often like that. When change happens, you have no choice but to accept it and go with the flow.
As for developments with Cary, it’s just as well we are sticking to the truth as closely as we can. Otherwise this would be a nightmare situation to handle on top of everything else. And the more I witness of the discussions between Cressida and Cary, the more I’m beginning to wish I knew the whole story. But I also think they aren’t being very fair to Matthew and I’d quite like to do something about that. What exactly, I have no idea, but that doesn’t mean an opportunity won’t present itself.
An email notification pops up on my phone and I open it, scrolling through it until I see the name Jeff is putting forward. I don’t recognise it at all and a part of me feels anxious about having to start again with someone new. I hope we can build that perfect working relationship but it won’t happen overnight.
Right, Zack Ward, let’s see how keen you are to grab an exciting, new opportunity. If you look at your emails on Boxing Day, then you’re serious about work.
My fingers fly over the keyboard as I introduce myself and explain that Jeff passed on his details. I tell him a little bit about the company and what we do. I hit send, push my phone into the top of my bag and take one last look in the mirror.
Earrings. I need earrings. I dive into the side-pocket of my carry-on holdall and pull out a pair of rather elegant, silver leaf earrings. Considering it’s basically a plain, little black dress, I do look like I’ve made a bit of an effort.
Walking along the landing, I arrive at Cary’s bedroom door and tap nervously. Within seconds it’s flung open.
‘I was just about to wander along to see how you were doing. Come in.’ He closes the door behind me. ‘Thanks for earlier on, you know, reassuring Cressida – being open about the divorce thing meant a lot to her.’
It’s rather nice that he’s prepared to acknowledge that, and I give him a warm smile. Looking at the effort he’s made, I must say he wears an evening suit well. I’m guessing that didn’t come out of his suitcase. His white shirt doesn’t have a single crease in it and the open neck lends an air of casualness he carries off to perfection.
‘Will I do? There’s nothing really inspiring in my suitcase,’ I admit, regretfully. But then Gwen and Peter weren’t big on formalwear.
Cary glances over me with a quizzical eye, taking his time and I start laughing. He’s kidding around with me.
‘You’ll do. I know it’s all still a little awkward, but we’ve sort of slipped into this quite well, haven’t we?’
I give him a cautious glance. Is he still kidding? He looks serious.
‘That’s weird because I was thinking the exact same thing. I just sent that photo I took of you to my mum. I feel bad because she wanted me to take you to meet her and Dad at New Year. If you really do want me to come to the family party, I have to appease her somehow.’
After checking his watch, he opens the door for me and we begin to make our way downstairs.
‘Let me put it this way, it would sound warning bells if you weren’t there so that was a good move. It’s important your parents are included in this, obviously, and we will remedy that. Hopefully, tonight will be more relaxed than this afternoon and I can promise you that the meal will be well worth the hassle. The chef, Marcel, is amazing and he’s a long-time friend of Grandma’s. She’s famous for her very entertaining dinner parties and delightful food accompanied by superb wines, although these days they are few and far between.
‘Marcel also runs a busy restaurant, but he rarely sends one of his trainees when Grandma reaches out to him. He’s yet another Cressida devotee but then she’s known him for years and helped him financially when he started out. She’s a nurturer and people whose lives she touches tend to become devoted friends. Anyway, hopefully you’ll feel less in the spotlight and will be able to sit back, enjoy the food and join in as and when you want to.’
I give him a sideways glance.
‘Um… holding hands would be a nice touch, Cary.’
He hesitates for a moment, forgetting our ruse. ‘Ah, yes.’ Then immediately reaches out.
The feel of his hand as it closes over mine is comforting. Everything around me feels like a constant battle these days and just having someone here who understands is a bonus, a gift even. My head is still reeling from Jeff’s news and the thought of what’s to come. But Cary is right and tonight I’m going to try to relax. After all, who would have thought I’d be here, dining at the same table as a famous author and my… boyfriend. I bite my lip to stop myself breaking into a ridiculous grin. What’s not to enjoy? I could do a lot worse, I muse, than walking hand-in-hand with an attractive, intelligent and successful man like Cary.
‘Ah, perfect timing!’
Turning around in unison as if we rehearsed it, we glance back up to the landing where Cressida stands peering down at us.
‘What a handsome couple you make.’ She sounds delighted.
I slip my hand out of Cary’s by way of a hint and he duly walks back up the stairs to escort h
is grandmother down. She’s wearing a beautiful, floor-length dress in a rich purple taffeta.
I continue down and wait for them at the bottom of the stairs. With Christmas music playing softly in the background, the stately tree dripping with tinsel and the prettiest of baubles reflecting the twinkling fairy lights, this could be a scene from a Christmas card. I’m beginning to feel comfortable here, as if I fit in. However, this isn’t real and I have to keep reminding myself that it’s merely a matter of convenience. Like hiring an escort for an evening, except our deal is on a quid pro quo basis.
When they descend into the hallway Cressida’s face gleams with pride, as Cary offers me his other arm and escorts us into the formal dining room.
Lit only by candles, the crystal glassware on the table glints, sending shards of rainbow light across the pale-grey, linen tablecloth. Robert, Sally and Laurence all stop talking when we enter.
‘Stay there, I need to capture this moment,’ Sally says as she jumps up out of her seat with her phone in her hand.
I steal a glance at Cary, thinking maybe he’ll be rolling his eyes but his smile matches Cressida’s. Me? The enormity of what we’re doing is beginning to sink in and as we take our seats I find myself hoping I don’t regret this at some point in the not-too-distant future.
‘It’s weird getting used to seeing someone sitting next to Cary,’ Laurence muses and Sally gives him a little shove. He looks at her, his eyes flaring. ‘What? It’s true. The last one was, what, three years ago? Monica, wasn’t it?’
Nicholas stoops to place the first course in front of me. The scallops look like they’ve been cooked to perfection – nut brown on the top and a translucent white beneath. A drizzle of something green that’s probably a pea puree and a few carefully placed strands of wild rocket leaves make it picture-perfect. I wait while everyone else is served, anxious to hear Cary’s response.
‘Yes, I did bring Monica here once. Easter, I believe. That particular experience taught me another lesson. There’s no point at all in introducing you to a passing acquaintance; you lot are a daunting prospect for anyone to face. Ignore my brother, Leesa.’
Magic Under the Mistletoe Page 15