by Juniper Hart
“Yes, ma’am,” she mumbled, spinning to follow Dr. Evans. She’d endured enough of the rollercoaster of emotions for one day. To her surprise, they did not enter another patient’s room. Instead, Dr. Evan’s pulled her into a supply closet and whirled to face the younger woman.
“Do you want to tell me what the hell that was all about this morning?” the Lycan doctor asked without preamble. Kate hung her head and searched for words that would not instill anger in her superior. She had known the lecture was coming, but that didn’t make it any less embarrassing.
Don’t confess weakness, or she’ll mark it in your evaluation. Just tell her you had the runs or something. Looking into Evans’ eyes, though, Kate knew that lying wasn’t going to serve her well at all.
“It was the first patient I had ever seen die,” Kate said honestly under Evans’ penetrating glare. She watched as the doctor’s face softened marginally. Kate had a feeling Evans had been expecting her to lie.
“I see.”
“I’m sorry, Dr. Evans,” she rushed on. “It won’t happen again. I really tried to contain myself, but—”
The head of pediatrics held up her hand and shook her head, silencing Kate instantly. “I get it. I’m just confused.”
Kate blinked. It was difficult to imagine Carlene Evans was ever confused about anything.
“About what?” she asked when Evans didn’t elaborate.
“It is not the first death you’ve seen, though, is it?”
Kate balked at the question and tried to scoff it off. “I wish I could say it was, but after a few hundred years and a few wars, I’m afraid I’ve seen my fair share of deaths.”
“That’s not what I mean, and you know it,” Dr. Evans said coldly. Kate’s head whipped up, and stared balefully at the tall doctor.
“No,” she replied icily. “It’s not my first encounter with death. I watched my sister die from a demon bite. But I guess you already knew that.”
“I did. I was just wondering if you were going to admit it.” Evans didn’t seem the least bit perturbed that she was upsetting the fairy. Kate felt a hot flush of anger creeping into her face. “That must have been very difficult for you,” Evans offered, and it was everything Kate could do to keep from gaping at her. She shifted her irises toward the senior resident, trying to determine where this walk down memory lane was heading.
“I persevered,” Kate said tightly, wanting the conversation to get where it was going, and quickly. She was no longer tired, now filled with a jittery anxiety, and she could not wait to escape the confines of the hospital.
“Did you?” Dr. Evans asked gently. “Because it seems to me that you are carrying a lot of baggage with you.”
Don’t scream, don’t scream, don’t scream, Kate willed herself. She thinks she is being helpful in some way. Just let her spew her rhetoric and get the hell out of here. She’s probably got some physician God complex or something. She is your superior, and you will put up with it.
“Because I cried when a little girl died today?” she retorted sharply. “I don’t think of that as baggage but as compassion.”
Evans smiled tensely. “Kate, many doctors have a similar story to yours. Even mine is a hard luck case when I think about it, which I try not to do. We’ve watched members of our families die and were inspired to go into medicine, either because of the good experiences we shared with them or the bad, but they all have something in common...” She paused for effect, waiting for Kate to ask what their commonalities were.
“What is that?” Kate heard herself choke out, even though she was sure she didn’t want to hear her superior’s philosophy at all.
“We continue to see the face of the person we lost in the patients we treat. What you did this morning when that girl died is to be expected. I don’t fault you for crying, especially when there is a child involved, but I want you to think about talking to someone, because this job doesn’t get easier. Just when you think you have seen the worst thing imaginable, someone else walks into the ER and outdoes that. Just because we are Enchanted doesn’t mean we’re impervious to the horrors that the mortals face. In fact, it can be quite a bit worse for us, because we’re not used to it. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
She wants me to talk to a shrink about something that happened years ago? I put myself through college and medical school since then! I graduated top of my class with honors at Stanford! Maybe she didn’t read that far into my file if she thinks I can’t overcome adversity. Kate smiled tightly, choking down the desire to set Evans straight about who she was and of what she was capable.
“Thank you, Dr. Evans,” she said coldly. “I will take it into consideration.” She couldn’t keep the bitterness out of her voice, and Evans seemed to hear it loud and clear. The physician’s dark eyes reflected concern as she realized that Kate had taken offense to her advice.
“I hope you will, Kate. Even the strongest of us need help sometimes. There is no shame in admitting it.”
Kate’s pager buzzed in the breast pocket of her scrubs, and she glanced at it. She had never been so thrilled to be paged in her life. At that point, she didn’t even care if she got dragged into a ten-car pile-up in the ER and stayed down there for another week straight. Anything to get away from Carlene Evans.
“Sorry, duty calls,” Kate told her lightly. “It’s been great working with you this week. I hope we get the opportunity to do it again soon.”
And by ‘soon’, I mean never, she thought, spinning on her heel. Kate exited the supply closet, her heart pounding with anger and denial, not giving Dr. Evans an opportunity to respond. How dare she make assumptions about her? Because she had cried when her first patient died, suddenly she was an emotional basket case in need of psychiatric help? Doctors needed empathy to do their job. How dare she judge her? She thought Kate was weak because she was a fairy.
She didn’t know why she was surprised by the sentiment. Her whole life, she had been underestimated because of her size or her genus. No one could accept that someone as dainty and innocent as Kate Luthor could possibly have a huge brain and ambition to match.
I bet Mom and Dr. Evans would love each other. They both seem to think I’m too sensitive for this. Kate did not admit to herself that she was blowing Dr. Evans’ words out of proportion as she hurried toward the elevators. She also didn’t want to entertain the idea that maybe they were both right.
She tried to retrain her thoughts toward the page she had just received. She was needed in the research department, and it was about the only good news she’d had since the start of her never-ending shift. At least, she hoped it was good news, but judging by the last few hours, Kate didn’t have high expectations.
Forget about Evans and focus on Dr. Griffin, Kate urged herself, waiting impatiently for the doors to open. If you get this job moonlighting at Griffin’s research lab, you will be a part of a massive development in neuroscience, not to mention it will help to pay off some of that debt which your grandkids will be stuck with. Oh, who am I kidding? When will I have time to have children to make grandkids? Mom can add that to her list of woes about me.
While Kate had earned several scholarships to help with the insurmountable cost of medical school and living, she was drowning in debt. She had stepped up from ramen noodles to Kraft Dinner, but only to have debt collectors calling in her credit card payments. She was maxed out beyond the point of breathing, and while her salary was more than that of a doctor in a county hospital, she was still far off from retirement. Not that Kate had ever wanted to be rich. She just wanted to be financially comfortable enough to do her grocery shopping and not panic about her debit card reading “insufficient funds”.
The elevator doors opened, and Kate pressed the button for the fifth floor, willing the lift not to stop on any other floors before she reached her destination. I just need thirty seconds of peace. I’ve earned it. I’ve earned a damned medal. I made it through thirty-six hours with my sanity intact… kind of.
But, of course, Kate couldn’t be so lucky that day, when the gods were all mocking her in concert.
The elevator doors opened on the third floor, and Kate cringed inwardly when she saw who was standing there. It was the same doctor she had encountered in the basement. He looked her up and down as he slid inside, and Kate pressed back against the elevator walls, feeling her intestines shrink inside her body.
She realized this was the time to stand up for herself, to look him in the eye and boldly show him that she wasn’t intimidated by him. Instead, she dropped her head down to avoid making eye contact again. She closed her lids, though not all the way, terrified that she might fall asleep right there, against the wall, trapped in a lift with the world’s most obnoxious doctor.
Kate sighed silently. Will this day never end? Somewhere, in the back of her mind, she heard laughter. Today will end, but then you can do it all again tomorrow!
2
The research department was in the B section of the hospital, and to Kate’s chagrin, the rude doctor with whom she had shared the elevator followed behind her as she headed toward the research area. Not a word was spoken between the two of them, but he didn’t stop leering at her, and Kate felt filthy by the time they disembarked.
Isn’t this the same jackass who gave me a blast of shit for not taking the stairs up two flights earlier? Here he is, doing the same thing. What a hypocrite. The realization made her chuckle until another thought occurred to her. Oh, dear God, please don’t let him be going to the labs, too, Kate prayed silently. She sighed in relief when he took a sharp right at the fifth-floor operating rooms. What if she was stuck working with him in there? Kate wasn’t sure if she could handle the stress.
She took some comfort in recognizing he was a surgeon. If Kate was forced to work with him, it wouldn’t be for at least another year. She liked to think that by that point, she would have toughened up some. If she could get through the next few minutes, she would be off for twenty-four hours. Then she could retreat to her hole in the basement and sleep for twenty-two of them.
She did not remind herself that she needed to go grocery shopping, too. If there was anything to eat at the house, it had to have gone moldy by now. She tried to remember if she had enough money in her account to do the most basic shopping.
No, please, brain, no more stress, no more responsibility. I have enough to think about without worrying about shopping or money right now. One thing at a time, Kate. She turned left into the research sector and used her access card to allow herself entry through the glass doors.
Nurse Creighton glanced up from her station at the reception area and stared inquisitively at Kate. Immediately, she took in the green scrubs and wrinkled lab coat, her brow furrowing as if trying to place Kate’s significance in the lab. Her intuitive yet slightly myopic eyes tried unsuccessfully to make out the name on Kate’s pass card.
Another mortal. There were more of them in the hospital than she had thought. The idea of working there was to be around her kind, but she was beginning to feel outnumbered in more ways than one. She really should have taken the offer at the Mayo clinic when it had come up. Maybe next year, she would transfer there.
“May I help you?” the nurse asked in a slightly clipped tone. Clearly, she didn’t remember that she had met Kate several times prior, but the intern didn’t bother to remind her. Instead, Kate presented her a smile and her pass so the nurse could better read it.
“I am Kate Luthor. I believe you paged—or someone paged me here? I applied for the part-time research position in Dr. Griffin’s new lab,” she breathed quickly, suddenly nervous under the nurse’s scrutiny.
“You’re Dr. Luthor?” she asked, and Kate could hear the doubt in her voice. It was all Kate could do to keep from screaming. Of course she was used to people giving her strange looks when she told them she was a doctor. She was too small, too dainty, too… fairy-like to be taken seriously. But that morning, it was all becoming too much to bear. It seemed that her emotions had been beaten to a fine pulp, and all Kate asked for was a happy ending.
You need this job, Kate. Suck it up and shut up. She wondered if that was about to become her life mantra at Carlingview. The brunette fairy maintained the smile on her face and nodded, not trusting herself not to say something biting.
Nurse Creighton rose slowly, her bright eyes raking over the tiny girl hesitatingly.
“Okay,” she finally said, barely hiding her reluctance. “Come this way.”
Kate exhaled as the she followed the nurse into the bowels of the facility. At least she hadn’t been sent away.
On either side of her were glass rooms filled with microscopes, computers, and chalkboards. People in lab coats poured over texts and scrawled formulas on a whiteboard. As they moved further into the aseptic hall, Kate was abruptly charged with excitement.
The breakthroughs that occur in these rooms change lives forever. New methods are created, bold ideas are put into action. Theories become facts, and I could be a part of this on such a huge scale, especially under Dr. Griffin’s guidance.
They paused at the final workshop, and from what Kate could see, it was empty. Disappointment filled her. She had been hoping to meet the elusive and brilliant Dr. Griffin face to face. Not that Kate hadn’t done an extensive Google search on the brilliant surgeon already. She knew as much as the internet would provide about his career and personal life. And he was ridiculously handsome to boot.
On the other hand, it’s probably for the best that I don’t meet him today. I smell like thirty-six hours of hospital rounds. That was not the first impression she wanted to make.
The nurse turned to address Kate before they entered. “Don’t touch anything,” she warned. “I mean, not a damn thing. The lab is brand new, and he will know if one fingerprint is left behind. He’s got the instincts of a bloodhound.”
A bear, she corrected silently. He’s got the instincts of a bear.
Creighton waited for Kate to acknowledge her warning before using her access code to open the sealed room, carefully pushing only on the stainless-steel handle to allow entry.
Oh, come on, Kate thought, chuckling to herself. He can’t be that anal retentive. To be sure, she folded her hands in front of her as they entered the lab. She didn’t want to antagonize the serious nurse. True to her word, the equipment was pristine, brand new, and seemingly untouched by human hands. It almost made Kate’s mouth water.
“I’m Nurse Creighton,” the practitioner announced, but the introduction wasn’t necessary. Even if Kate hadn’t met her before, Creighton was infamous in the hospital. Hers was one of the first names every intern learned the moment they stepped foot inside the walls of Carlingview.
Everyone knew that Nurse Sara Creighton, who was technically the head nurse in general surgery, ran the hospital. The tentacles of her seniority reached from the tombs to the office of both the chief of staff and the chief of surgery. There were rumors that she could sway board votes with a word, but no one could prove anything definitively. Getting on her good side was paramount to the success of any doctor, while getting on her bad side, well… the gossip was plentiful, though few of those residents were around to confirm the tales.
“Nice to meet you,” Kate responded, carefully standing away from the spotless steel counters. Nurse Creighton studied Kate’s face closely, the corners of her lips turning inward before she spoke.
“I am not going to waste either of our times, Dr. Luthor. I have my reservations about hiring you. You are wet behind the ears, doe-eyed, and I can see you’re ready to drop from exhaustion as we speak. You probably won’t last a week doing double duty between the lab and your rounds.” Kate began to shake her head in denial, but Nurse Creighton held up a hand to silence her. “That being said, your academic record is stellar from a renowned university, and you are already employed at the hospital, two points which are highly in your favor.”
Kate was afraid to remind her that she was only available to do part-time research, given
her hectic on-call schedule, so she remained silent. She knows that I am only a first-year. She probably knows more about me than I know about myself. That was a terrifying thought.
Kate opened her mouth to speak, but the nurse’s face contorted in annoyance, and she instantly shut it again. She was learning her place quickly.
“Let me finish, rookie,” the nurse snapped. Kate lowered her eyes guiltily.
“Yes, ma’am.” She really didn’t have the energy for this carrot and stick torture right now. She wished the nurse would just tell her if she had gotten the job or not so she could get the hell out of there.
“I have spoken to the attendings with whom you have worked, and they claim you are eager to learn and tend to keep your mouth shut. If that’s true, you’ll go far here. If not, you’ll be just like every other intern who has worked for Dr. Griffin to date.”
“What happened to all the other interns?” Kate asked timidly before she could stop herself.
“Exactly,” Nurse Creighton snickered. The nurse paused, daring Kate to say something, but the fairy only held her gaze.
Is she testing me? Kate idly wondered, her eyes constricting slightly.
“Obviously, we have no choice but to adhere to your schedule. However, you are expected to log a minimum of twenty-five hours in the lab per week. If you cannot provide those hours, you will be dismissed, no excuses. Will this be a problem?”
Kate’s mental calculator worked furiously as she tried to work out what needed to be done in her week. Even before she started the calculations, she knew what the job was demanding of her. Ninety to a hundred hours on the floor and twenty-five hours in the lab. What did that leave her with? Forty hours to sleep, eat, do laundry, and maybe a shower? Yes, she could do that, no problem. She was definitely not having grandkids, though.
“I can accept those terms,” Kate told her quickly, sensing that she’d already taken too long answering the question. The money Dr. Griffin is offering is more than your crappy salary. This will afford you more freedom in the long run, when you don’t have bill collectors breathing down your neck. You can do this, Kate. You worked two jobs and went to school. You’ll be fine.