Journey to the Isles of Atlantis and Other Fanciful Excursions

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Journey to the Isles of Atlantis and Other Fanciful Excursions Page 11

by Brian Stableford


  “Undoubtedly,” replied the prince, “but what you’re advising me to do isn’t easy. The princess avoids me; she began by pleasing me, but her way of treating me didn’t take long to weary me. She’s a silly little goose whom I’d have let alone a long time ago if it weren’t for the millions of her dowry, of which I have need. Her mother is a nullity and my uncle an imbecile; I know all that. In sum, I’ll try again to make myself welcome, but can’t you find a means of being more useful to me?”

  “I think about nothing else! Do you know what I’ve been doing this morning? Making you indispensable to the king. Oh, my spells are natural; I don’t employ gas or electricity; my observation and ingenuity replace everything. The king doesn’t like to be annoyed, that’s a fact; whereas he’s full of benevolence for whoever causes his annoyance to cease. Well, those two facts observed by me have made me pose this problem: how does one remove the annoyance of a man who isn’t annoyed? By annoying him.”

  “That’s not very clear.”

  “Yes, you’ll see. At the moment, King Beta is very happy. The brilliant review of his troops has out him in a good mood; everyone who approaches him feels its effect. This isn’t the moment for you to go to him.”

  “What?”

  “No. He’ll be amiable with you, as with everyone else, but no more. Now, it’s necessary that his satisfaction comes entirely from you, and in order to arrive at that result, this is what I’ve imagined. I’ve had all the bells that are connected to the king’s apartment stuffed with cotton wool. When he needs something, it will be impossible for him obtain it, and he’ll get angry; you’ll arrive then and put yourself at his disposal. He’ll be very grateful to you and you’ll be able to obtain anything you want from him.”

  “That’s ingenious enough,” said the prince, “but not very practical. How will I know that the king has rung if you’ve muffled all the bells.”

  “I can see that you don’t know His Majesty’s habits. King Beta is methodical. Everything he does is regulated in advance. So, it’s now quarter to ten; well, at ten o’clock precisely, he’s going to ring to ask for his breakfast; that will be the moment to present yourself. You can even tell him that you anticipated the accident, which will give you the slight air of a magician, and earn you his consideration. You’ll add that you can easily return the voice to the bells, which have probably been rendered mute by the engineer, whose metallic wires are cluttering the palace, and you’ll thus combat his influence.”

  Vatenlair had not missed a word of that conversation; he had even collected it in a new little apparatus that he had placed next to the communicating door.

  It was true, as Remplume had remarked, that the palace was furrowed with electric wires, which were intended to serve various usages: lighting, first of all, as we have seen; then he counted on employing them for the transmission of voices, and the moment had come to utilize them. The little plot that he had just overheard scarcely alarmed him, therefore; he would be able to thwart it.

  At that moment, the palace clock chimed ten. He heard the prince leaving his apartment and heading toward the king’s. A moment later he went out himself and closed his door carefully, in order to avoid Remplume’s indiscretions.

  XI. In which King Beta is injured while hunting and Prince Omega is separated from Remplume.

  King Beta had just broken his bell-cord and, pale with anger, was agitating it and shouting: “My chocolate? Where’s my chocolate?” when Prince Omega suddenly appeared, smiling.

  That smile, as stupid and conceited as possible, exasperated the king, who said: “What are you doing here? I didn’t summon you.”

  “I know,” said the prince, “and it’s to replace your servants, who weren’t able to hear your appeal, that I’m presenting myself before you.”

  “But if you knew that, you should have warned me.”

  The prince did not know how to respond, for the king’s reply seemed just to him. He became anxious, and stammered: “If Your Majesty will permit, I’ll give orders to have him served.”

  At that moment, Vatenlair arrived on the threshold of the door, which was still open. Having perceived him, the king said to the prince: “You’re my guest, nephew, and you have no orders to give in my house, be good enough to withdraw. You stay, Vatenlair.”

  The former went out, discomfited, promising himself to reprimand Remplume forcefully for having given him such poor advice. Contrary to the anticipations of the astrologer, the king’s wrath had fallen upon the prince. Now he had calmed down again.

  “You desire to speak to me?” he said to the engineer.

  “Yes, Sire,” said Vatenlair “I desire to make you party to a new means of communication with your servants, without needing to have them in your presence. In a word, you’ll enable them to hear you at a distance and listen to their responses without leaving your apartments. I’ve been occupied with the innovation for some time; today, I can reveal it to you, for it’s ready to function.”

  “I don’t understand very well,” said the king. “Or, rather, I dare not understand, for it would be too marvelous. So, I could speak to you and you could hear my in your apartment, and could respond to me without leaving your room?”

  “Exactly, Sire. I’ve established communications with the Queen’s apartment, Princess Betinette’s, Prince Omega’s, the first chamberlain’s and mine, in order to ender to your orders. I’ve just sent those various individuals the instructions necessary to communicate with you and I’ll give them to you myself vocally. Can you see that little panel fitted to your desk, next to which those two little cornets are hooked?

  “Indeed. I hadn’t noticed them…”

  “Well, in front of that panel there are five buttons, on which you’ll find the names of our interlocutors; by pressing one or another of them, you’ll obtain communication with the person you’ve selected. Each of the buttons activates a bell that warns the other person that you want to speak to them. Then, by holding those two cornets over your ears in order to hear the replies, you speak in front of the panel, which will transmit your words.

  “Truly, my dear Vatenlair, if I didn’t know that you were an enchanter, I’d believe you were trying to trick me.”

  “Try, Sire, you’ll see that I’m not lying.”

  Following the engineer’s instructions, the king pressed a button and got ready to speak.

  “I forgot to tell you, Sire,” said Vatenlair, swiftly, “that’s it’s necessary to precede each conversation with a magic word that I’ll reveal to you, which is: Hello!”

  “Good!” said the king. “We’ll see!” And, approaching the panel, he said: “Hello!”

  “Hello!” replied the instrument.

  The king recoiled, frightened. “It answered me,” he said.

  “It’s not the panel, it’s the Queen,” said Vatenlair, who had seen which button the king had pressed.

  “How was your night?” said the king, replacing himself before the panel.

  “Very good,” replied the queen. “I feel a little better this morning.”

  “That’s incredible!” said the king. “Oh, my dear enchanter! How will I ever be able to thank you as you merit?”

  All morning, the king, forgetting about his breakfast, conversed with his daughter, his chamberlain, the queen, and even Prince Omega, to whom he said: “No need to disturb yourself henceforth, nephew; I have no more need of bells to have myself served.”

  King Beta was not an egotist; when he experienced pleasure, he wanted everyone to share it, and as he did not intend to deliver his apparatus to all his courtiers, he expressed his satisfaction to them by organizing a great hunt for the following day.

  For a long time, as he no longer had the full use of his legs, he had no longer devoted himself to cynegetic pleasures, so that decision was welcomed with delight. They were to hunt in the vicinity of the summer palace, where a splendid meal would be prepared; the queen, Princess Betinette and the ladies of the court would follow the hunt; the cortege
would be splendid.

  Indeed it was, and the inhabitants of Betaville who came out to watch it pass by had never seen such a spectacle.

  Before departing, Prince Omega had had a conversation with Remplume, who said to him: “All the means I’ve indicated to you to obtain royal favor have failed; this is an opportunity that won’t be presented again, it’s necessary not to let it pass.”

  “What should I do?” said the prince.

  “It’s necessary to find a means of saving the king’s life.”

  “But the king’s life isn’t in danger.”

  “Who knows?” said Remplume. “A hunt is always dangerous.” And he insinuated: “A poorly aimed bullet might hit him; his horse might bolt and carry him away, I don’t know. In any case, I engage you not to quit him, and, if some misfortune overtakes him, to find yourself there to help him.”

  Prince Omega quit him, pensively.

  In such hunting parties, people avoided killing the animals that might serve in the army, but carried out a massacre of hares, rabbits, grouse and pheasants, which were inoffensive. Ordinarily, hunting was done on horseback, to the sound of the horn, but since the king had grown old, he deprived himself of that pleasure and contented himself with simply shooting as much game as possible in the coverts of the forest. The guests were disposed in a single line at a certain distance from one another, and beaters drove the game toward them.

  The king, who could not stand up for long, hunted sitting in an armchair; the courtiers, in imitation of their master, did the same, except that they only had stools. Behind them, in open carriages, the queen, the princess and the maids of honor watched the cynegetic exploits.

  Twenty paces away from the king to one side, Prince Omega was stationed, and on the other, Vatenlair; and the other hunters were spaced out at further intervals of twenty paces.

  The spectacle was very original.

  The king, of course, shot the first victim, which was a pheasant, after which the killing preceded without any order of precedence.

  Prince Omega, who rode a horse very well, was, on the other hand, not a very brilliant hunter. His monocle inconvenienced him when taking aim, but he could not do without it. At a certain moment, as a rabbit passed in front of him and veered sideways, he pressed the trigger of his rifle so clumsily that the entire charge of shot, instead of hitting the rabbit, lodged in the side of the king, who uttered a cry of pain.

  Frightened, the prince threw away his weapon and ran to the king, as all the other guests did.

  The hunt was immediately interrupted. The queen lamented as if she had been shot herself. Princess Betinette was no less troubled; the courtiers, the squires and the other hunters were in the greatest agitation; only Vatenlair had not lost his head. He went straight to the physician who was in one of the carriages, and brought him to the king.

  A few moments later, the king was installed on a bed in the summer palace, and the doctor, having undressed him, inspected all his wounds. The lead shot had formed a cluster, and the king’s whole side was riddled with little projectiles. His life, however was not in danger; he only complained because the extraction of the lead pellets was causing him a great deal of pain.

  Only the queen and the princess witnessed that operation, the king not having wanted to receive Prince Omega; he had also ordered that the hunt should continue without him, since his wounds were not serious.

  That accident, however, had disconcerted everyone, and no one had any enthusiasm any longer, so the hunt did not go on for long. Then they returned to the city with the same pomp with which they had departed, and, in order to explain the king’s absence, the rumor was spread that His Majesty wanted to repose for a few days in the summer palace.

  After a fortnight, all his wounds having scarred over, the king returned to the city palace. His gaiety had returned; he had even given a good welcome to Prince Omega, who had come to meet him on horseback, inviting him to remain by the door of his carriage.

  Unfortunately a new accident suddenly arrived to drive him to despair. Glad to see the welcome the king had given him, in his joy, the prince made his horse prance, which made an abrupt sidestep and collided with the horses of the carriage; the latter, frightened, took the bit between their teeth and bolted, smashing into a tree by the roadside. The carriage was immediately tipped over, and the king was pulled out covered in bruises.

  This time, Prince Omega understood that it was all over. The only thing that remained for him to do was to renounce Princess Betinette and leave immediately.

  “I’m going!” he said to Remplume, when he returned to his apartment. “Bad luck is pursuing me. My uncle will never forgive me; it’s better to give up.”

  “Are we leaving right away?” Remplume asked.

  “I am, yes; but I’m leaving you here. You’ve given me too much bad advice. Since I’ve been following it, nothing has succeeded for me.”

  “Bad advice! Me!” cried Remplume. “On the contrary, excellent advice, from which you haven’t been able to profit. When I told you to suggest to the king that he ask the princess to reproduce the review, was that bad advice? Wasn’t the king satisfied beyond all possible expectation?”

  “Undoubtedly, but it didn’t do me any good; and when, by an excess of zeal, you permitted yourself to render all the bells in the palace mute, in order to offer me a pretext to hasten to the king, you caused me to suffer an insult that I haven’t forgotten.”

  “But my intentions were good!”

  “Was it also a good intention to insinuate to me that the king might be wounded in the hunt?”

  “I didn’t tell you to wound him yourself!”

  “That’s true. It was clumsiness on my part, which I regret, but I understood your intention, so I didn’t respond to it.”

  “What did you understand, Prince?”

  “That if I had ordered you to direct the stray bullet, you wouldn’t have hesitated.”

  “What! You were able to suppose....”

  “I’m capable of anything, so I’m separating myself from you.”

  “What am I going to do now, if you abandon me?”

  “Consult the stars, my friend, that’s your métier. As for me, I have no more need of your services, and I can’t do anything for you.”

  And Prince Omega dismissed him.

  XII. In which the marriage of the princess is decided and the king heaps the engineer with favors.

  The king’s contusions were not very serious, but, in view of his advanced age, it was feared that the new accident might influence his morale.

  “I shall never ride in a carriage again,” he repeated. “That blockhead Prince Omega will be the death of me if he stays here.”

  On hearing those words, Princes Betinette judged that the moment had come to reveal his nephew’s felony to him.

  “You wanted to make me marry Prince Omega,” she said to him, “You found him full of qualities and you didn’t perceive his faults. I was more clear-sighted; I mistrusted him, and I was right.”

  “What have you seen, then?”

  “First, Father, what has become of Remplume?”

  “I don’t know and I don’t care. I’ve expelled him from the palace; he must have departed.”

  “That’s what you think! What if I told you that he stayed here, or, at least, that he comes every day, and that he’s not unaware of anything concerning your person?”

  “That’s not possible. I haven’t seen him.”

  “He’s in hiding.”

  “And what does he come here to do?”

  “To take orders from Prince Omega, who has taken him into his service.”

  “That’s not credible!”

  “Look, Father, here’s an image that I made during your sojourn at the summer palace. Do you recognize that individual?”

  “Remplume! The Prince!”

  “I caught them one morning when I was out walking with the instrument that served to make your portrait.”

  “That’s certainly
near the rocks in the forest, which I also recognize.”

  “But that’s not all. Would you like to know now what they said to one another, there and elsewhere? You’ll know the depths of their thought.”

  “What did they say?”

  “If I repeated it to you, you wouldn’t believe it; it’s better for you to hear it for yourself. When they were speaking rather loudly in the Prince’s apartment, Vatenlair collected their words in a marvelous instrument that will repeat them to you. Have the enchanter come here and you’ll see what your dear nephew thinks of you and me.”

  “Hello!” shouted the king, speaking into his panel.

  The acoustic cornets replied: “Hello!”

  “Come and enable me to hear the conversations of Prince Omega with Remplume.”

  After a few moments, Vatenlair presented himself before the king and placed a small box on the table, which he opened. Wheels could be seen inside and a small scroll pricked with dots. The engineer set the mechanism in motion, and immediately, the voices of the prince and the astrologer could be heard distinctly. We have related that conversation previously, and you can imagine the effect that it produced in the king’s mind. One hearing the words of the prince, calling him an imbecile, his wife a nullity and his daughter a silly goose, he could scarcely contain himself; Remplume’s ruse of blocking all his bells made him jump.

  “That’s too much,” said he king. “I’ll wash my hands of my nephew and ask him to stay at home.”

  And, turning back to his panel, he called the prince; but Prince Omega who was fearful a final conversation with the king, did not reply; he had been in haste to leave without telling anyone—which brought the king’s fury to a peak.

  Princess Betinette hastened to calm him down, and, finding the moment opportune, she said to her father:

  “Calm yourself, Father; the villainy is unmasked; that should suffice for you. You know now the man you had destined for me as a husband. There is another on whom I have cast my eyes and who has not ceased since we have known him to render you precious services and to show you his devotion. Do I need to name him?”

 

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