by N. J. Lysk
“Are you freaking out?” Keenan asked.
“No, just—” He swallowed, nosing at Keenan’s throat and earning himself a soft sigh. “I want to... to be close.”
He felt Keenan’s nose against his left cheek, his voice so close it was like it inside Carry’s head. “Me too, but my leg is falling asleep.”
He loosened his grip, feeling his face heating up. Keenan untangled himself enough to get his knees under him. Carry carefully did not look down at his naked body over him as Keenan unselfconsciously let the sheets fall off him. He saw Keenan’s hand, but didn’t understand what he meant to do until he felt his fingertips tracing his cheekbone. He glanced up, frowning. He was no child to—
The look on Keenan’s face was almost more than he could bear, but there was a simple solution. He reached out and tilted Keenan's chin down until he only needed to stretch his neck a little to seal their lips together.
The alpha sighed into his mouth, relaxing into the kiss like someone diving into deep waters, letting Carry in like he had no concern with keeping anything back, not the blanketing smell of his joy and arousal—sea salt and chips—and not any part of his body. Carry forgot to think about his own secrets, lost in exploring, mapping, memorizing. This was his, finally. He could... Keenan shifted his leg and he felt it pressing to the outside of his left thigh only a moment before his lover sat in his lap. He gasped, a moan breaking out as Keenan’s arse rubbed deliciously against his still sensitive cock.
He heard Keenan exhale loudly on top of him, then swallow. “This okay?”
He was considerably bigger than Carry and heavy; in response, Carry planted his feet and rolled his hips upwards, half-lifting Keenan off the bed. The alpha startled and scrambled to grab hold of him. “Hades, Carry, I didn’t mean you weren’t strong enough,” he complained, leaning back to give him an exasperated look.
“Good,” Carry said, then put an arm around Keenan’s back and used his whole body to roll them over. Keenan went with it or he couldn’t have managed, but he was happy enough getting to press him down onto the bedding, skin to skin, both breathing heavily, their scents intermingling in the air. “This okay?” he asked, meaning to tease. It came out way too serious.
Keenan nodded, eyes stuck to his face, then reached out a hand to card his fingers through Carry’s hair. “Very, but you could move...”
Carry was tempted, but he had something to say first. “You don’t have to say yes for me to stay.”
A tinge of ginger entered Keenan’s scent. “What?”
Carry fixed his eyes on Keenan’s shoulder. “To... to stuff I want to do. In bed. I... I liked getting fucked, a lot.”
“So that would be enough?” Keenan asked flatly.
It was mostly the sourness in his scent that made Carry look up from his collarbone. “Yes,” he said, a little angry. He almost pulled back, except— He closed his eyes and inhaled, focused on the scent he could almost taste, a scent that was nothing but the best of memories, the happiest of times. “Yes, it would, if you don’t want more,” he added, eyes on Keenan’s chin. “I always... I always ask too much of you. It isn’t fair, and it’s not— I don’t want to make you do anything.”
“You’re not making me do anything,” Keenan said, softer, the spicy tinge to his scent dissipating. “You’re making me want to try everything, but that’s different.”
Carry glanced up, unsure but hopeful. “But... you’ll tell me, if you’re not...?”
“I will,” he promised. “Hades, I’ll make you a list if you want, just maybe not...” He shifted his hips under Carry and his scent flared with his banked arousal.
Carry clenched his eyes shut as his body responded in kind. “Okay, how—?”
“Rub off against me,” Keenan asked at once. “Just... I want to feel you come.”
It was the simplest of acts, just body against body, finding all the ways in which their skin could give them pleasure. But it was them.
Carry would have taken it over a fuck with a stranger any day.
Keenan lifted his hips when Carry pulled on his arse, closing his eyes and following where Carry led like there could be nothing more natural. It wasn’t... submission.
Carry wasn’t sure Keenan was capable of that, no matter how much of a rebel he was. But it was trust.
And anything more might have meant Carry couldn’t last even this long, couldn’t enjoy every inch of Keenan’s cock dragging wet and hard against his abs, couldn’t press his own against Keenan’s happy trail again and again—pleasure building up like a storm.
He was still going to come first. He shoved a hand down to clutch at Keenan’s cock, rubbing at the head with his thumb and bending his knee so it’d press against his lover’s heavy balls.
His name on Keenan’s lips was sweeter than release itself, but he was so close, the copious amount of come suddenly lubricating the space between their bodies was enough that he slipped off the edge anyway.
THEY WERE WARM AND safe, a little sweaty and a lot messy, but too lazy to leave the bed for the shower again. “Can we tell people?”
“Mmm?” Carry asked right against Keenan’s chest. The hair there itched against his cheek, but the skin underneath was almost impossibly soft against his fingertips.
“About us,” Keenan clarified.
That alarmed him enough to make him open his eyes. “I told Thomas,” he offered. He didn’t think Keenan would care, but—
Keenan tsked. “Thomas isn’t people, and he probably knew before I did anyway.”
He was right, Thomas hadn’t been surprised by the bond and it had taken him a couple of hours to start asking if it meant more. That was exactly why Carry had talked to him in the first place, too.
“Then who...?”
“My family,” Keenan explained. “Just my sister and my parents. And Indra... I... I kinda told Indra already,” he admitted. “But he swore he wouldn’t say a word and he knows... He’s an omega,” he said simply.
Running high on endorphins and low on sugar, Carry did not have the energy to worry. “Okay.”
“Okay?” Keenan echoed.
“They are your family,” Carry pointed out.
“Will you tell yours?” Keenan asked, too tentative by half. But he was right, of course, an omega’s family would as a rule be much less likely to accept this type of arrangement.
“I’ll tell Sandra,” Carry said. He didn’t need to think about that much—Sandra would have his back no matter what.
“Not your parents?” Keenan asked, idly, his hand rubbing at Carry’s scalp in a way that made him want to purr.
“Not now,” he said, pressing back.
He didn’t want to think about his parents’ reactions right now, warm and happy and safe.
The world could wait outside the door a little longer.
Chapter 70: Keenan
Indrajit gave him all of twelve hours before texting to demand to know what had happened.
[Went well. Thank you]
[WENT WELL?!!!!! Are you fucking him right now?]
[Omg, Indra, no!]
The phone rang at once, of course.
“You’re such an ungrateful jerk, I swear,” Indra said instead of a greeting. “Here I am, your omega guru, and you won’t even give me a proper update?”
Keenan laughed aloud. It wasn’t that funny, but what else could he do but laugh? Carry had gone home, claiming he had no more clothes to wear, even though he’d hardly had a chance to put on the ones he had brought with him.
Keenan wasn’t completely sure when he’d be coming back, but he knew he would.
“Okay,” he told his cousin. “So I’m a jerk.”
“Ugh,” Indra groaned. “Is that your well-fucked voice?”
“Guess it is,” Keenan told him, utterly shameless. His body still bore the marks of Carry’s teeth and nails, perhaps there would be even a few bruises where his left-winger had shoved him around a little.
“You suck,” Indra decided. “No
w spill, from the beginning, what happened when you called him?”
“I told him,” Keenan said, closing his eyes and lying back into the utter mess of his bed. It probably smelled like sex and sweat to everyone else—to him, it was all melted sugar and crisp apples. He kind of wanted to catalogue every ache in his body, but he couldn’t focus enough to do it and keep talking.
“And?”
Keenan opened his eyes, forcing himself to find the words. Indra was right, he owed him the story, at least. “He asked me about the bonding and the kids, and I said I was fine with it. Oh, and I was right, he’s fine with adoption. Like, in theory.”
He heard a smacking sound. “You just got together!”
“Yeah, well, just... we needed to talk about it, so I told him I preferred to adopt anyway. It was pertinent!”
“And then?”
“Um, he came over.”
“Uhu, and then?”
Keenan would have rolled his eyes at him, but he was too content to make the effort. “Then I got well-fucked, obviously.”
Indrajit laughed, sounding like he was choking a little. “Obviously.”
Suddenly, Keenan remembered something else. “I’m going to tell Tzeera and my parents tomorrow. You could come over for dinner. Like, not because I need backup, they’ll be fine with it, but...” he trailed off, then realised it was odd his cousin had let him speak for so long uninterrupted. “Indra?”
“Hate to ask you this,” his cousin said with a sigh, “but did you ask him if it was okay?”
From someone else, or maybe before all this had happened, Keenan would have found the question intrusive, but now he was almost relieved to have someone to check his path was true. “Yeah, I did. He knows you know, and he said family was okay.”
“He must not know how big our family is,” Indra commented wryly. “But good. And I can’t tomorrow, but you’ll be fine.”
“You could... Dunno, come over for dinner sometime?”
“To meet him?” Indra asked, sounding gleeful.
“Yes,” Keenan told him with a sigh. “And to tell him all the stupid shit I’ve done, if you want. Think if my alphaness hasn’t put him off, I’m safe...”
“Don’t think you remember that time with the tree-house...”
KEENAN ONLY REALISED he’d expected Carry to call to tell him he wouldn’t be coming back that day when he heard the front door open. He’d given Carry a set of spare keys—no need to risk any neighbours catching him opening the door for an omega—but he was still shocked when his linemate stepped back into his bedroom.
Carry seemed equally surprised. “Have you not moved since I left?”
Keenan laughed. He had gone to the toilet and the kitchen as needed, but he’d spent the rest of the time napping and daydreaming. “Nope,” he told Carry, drinking in the sight of him like it had been days instead of mere hours. “I’ll just stay here in bed from now on, waiting for you.”
His lover swallowed and Keenan realised his shields were closed because there was definitely something behind the look on his face. He sat up, raising his eyebrows. “You got some clothes?”
Carry nodded, still hesitant.
“Do you want to put them away?” he offered, pointing towards the closet.
Carry shrugged.
“Do you want to come here and kiss me?” he asked and something in his chest loosened at the way Carry’s eyes flickered down to his mouth. Not that... Not that it had to mean anything. Carry had made it very clear, with word and deed, that he wanted Keenan. That did not mean he couldn’t change his mind. He’d pretty much made Keenan promise he could. And sure, it could be romantic like Indra had said, but it was also bloody terrifying.
Carry took a step closer to the bed, then another. He let his bag slide down his shoulder until it hit the ground. His clothes were different, Keenan noted absently, then reached for him. Carry threw himself into his arms like he’d forgotten how to stand, sending Keenan crashing down and knocking their heads together. Keenan clutched at him, ignoring the echoes of pain. He only needed this, to know, to... “You scared me,” he said quietly.
Carry’s fingers dug harder into his back where they’d ended up trapped. “Sorry,” he mumbled against Keenan’s cheek.
Keenan rolled them onto their sides, still cradling him close. Carry’s hands were too precious to leave without proper blood supply for long—even without going into what they could do with a hockey stick. “Is this good?”
That got Carry to glance up, but no more words.
Keenan licked his lips, then explained, “I... I noticed you wanted to be close. When you were freaked out. But you pulled me on top of you, if...”
Carry’s eyes widened, then skittered downwards, his throat working. Keenan leaned in a little, offering. Carry didn’t pull, though, just pressed his face to Keenan’s chest, arms tightening around him. “This is good,” he offered, so quietly it was fortunate he was saying it practically in Keenan’s ear. “But... I like that, if... it’s like blankets, in winter. Or... I dunno, it feels...”
“Okay,” Keenan said when he was sure he had said as many words as he could. “I can do that, if you want.”
As Carry began relaxing in his arms, he felt safe enough to let his hands wander—not too far, just up Carry’s spine, tracing the bumps over his thin shirt and feeling him shiver in response. Carry rubbed his face against Keenan’s neck, scratching him with his stubbled chin. Keenan leaned back to look at him. “Did you not shave?”
It was the wrong question because it made Carry lean away and take away his touch.
“Oh, I... I forgot. I don’t... I don’t have to, that much, and I didn’t have my things here.” And he hadn’t stayed home long enough to do it there, Keenan realised. “Does it bother you?”
“What? Bother me?” he repeated, playing with the hem of Carry’s t-shirt, not quite teasing his waistband, but definitely thinking about it. “Believe me, there’s no part of you I don’t want to—” He stopped, unsure how to finish that sentence.
Carry placed his own hand on top of Keenan’s, trapping it against his skin. “To what?”
Keenan glanced down at his hand, shrugged a little. “Lick, kiss, your choice.”
“My choice?”
“Yeah...” he agreed absently. He was suddenly a little desperate to be allowed to move his hand again, to touch, not necessarily anywhere erogenous, just...
“So if I ask, you’ll do it?”
Keenan looked up, he didn’t need any psychic powers to recognize the edge to his voice. “No,” he said. “If you ask, I will lick or kiss any part of your body, because I want to.”
“What about other things?”
“Same,” Keenan said easily. He didn’t understand where this was going, but he was happy to let Carry lead him where he wanted him. Didn’t mean he would skate around with his eyes closed, but he could stop any time he wanted. It was one thing they didn’t need to worry about, at least.
Carry’s eyes flittered away. “You’ll... suck me?”
Keenan closed his eyes, swallowing as if he could still taste him. He didn’t miss that it was an odd thing to ask after the fact, but if Carry needed telling... He nodded. “Yes.”
“And you’ll fuck me.”
“Yes,” he said again.
“And... if...”
Keenan looked up, but he could just see Carry’s eyelashes. “Ask,” he said simply. “You can always ask.”
“The... the other... the other way around,” Carry managed. It was no question.
Keenan’s brain seemed to grind to a halt. “Oh,” he blurted out. Carry’s hand grew stiff under his and Keenan clutched at it. He just needed a moment, it was— “Stop,” he said.
And Carry did.
And then Keenan’s brain caught up with his mouth. He yanked his hand away, almost falling off the bed in his haste to get away. “I’m— I’m sorry. I— Please, don’t— don’t stop, I—”
He couldn’t believe how stupid he
was, after everything; the speeches and the promises and now...
Carry looked up, face blank. “Stop.”
Keenan shut his mouth so fast his teeth smacked together. He waited by the foot of the bed, brain searching for an answer like a rat trapped in a maze. Should he step away? Sit? He was kind of towering over Carry, if—
“It was an accident,” Carry said, the words so incomprehensible Keenan just stared at him, wondering if they were in English at all. “Keenan?”
“What?” he said, at a loss.
Carry got to his own feet, holding Keenan’s gaze like he was afraid he’d bolt if startled.
In truth, Keenan’s heart was battering against his ribcage, and he didn’t understand how Carry was holding out a hand to him like there was nothing wrong. “Can I?”
Keenan glanced down at his hand. He wanted it, he wanted Carry’s touch, of course, only— He shook his head. “Explain. Please.” He made sure it was not an order.
Carry seemed shocked to be refused, but he took his hand back, sighing. “I have, it was a mistake. And you apologized, why should we make such a big fuss of it?”
“A big fuss?” Keenan echoed. “After everything you’ve said, not wanting a bond, not...”
Carry nodded, then sat back down on the bed, left knee bent so his body was turned towards Keenan, but eyes on his own hands resting on his lap. “Keenan, do you think I have agreed to... to be with you under the condition that you stop being an alpha?”
Keenan watched him closely, now more than ever he wished he could get his scent. Just to... But Carry hadn’t got around to opening up after he’d come in, and he could hardly ask now. “You said you didn’t want a bond, and you never wanted me to tell you what to do, so...”
Carry nodded. “And you haven’t bonded me, have you?” he pointed out very reasonably. Keenan didn’t feel like that should have been considered such an accomplishment, even if he’d been tempted. “And I tell you what to do all the time, did you miss that somehow?”