by R. S. Lively
"These are the hands you will create with, that will support and encourage. May the hand of a friend always be near. May you know nothing but happiness from this day forward. May the road rise to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May pure be the joys that surround you. May true be the hearts that love you."
A tear slides down Alice's cheek.
"Those are Irish blessings," she whispers. "My mother has a sampler her mother made that has those words."
The man steps closer and presses his hands over ours, before speaking in unison with the woman again.
"This binding is created not by the knots of these cords, but by your vows, the promises you make in your heart. Just as you are bound together now, so will be your lives."
My eyes snap from Alice to the woman speaking.
Vows?
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Alice
The whimsical, almost dream-state I had been in while listening to the man and woman talk over us dissolves away and is replaced by confusion when she speaks again.
"Congratulations!"
"Congratulations?" I say. "What do you mean?"
"What are you congratulating us for?"
The man and woman exchange glances.
"On your union," the woman says.
"I'm sorry," I frown. "I must be misunderstanding you. What union?"
"You don't know what just happened?"
"Why don't you catch us up?" Dean says.
The man has started easing the braided ribbons off our wrists and I notice he doesn't untie the knot, forcing us to pull our hands out rather than him taking the ribbons completely away.
"You just participated in a traditional handfasting ceremony."
"A handfasting?" I ask.
I've heard the word before. It's somewhere in the back of my memory, but I can't quite find it.
"What does that mean?" Dean asks.
Suddenly it comes rushing forward.
"We're married," I gasp.
"What?"
"Yes," the woman says with a smile. "In a way. You are bound to each other. These ceremonies were performed in ancient times to unite two people. For some cultures it was their only means of connecting. For others, it was a temporary union. Couples who were bound this way were married for a year and a day. This union was seen with the same value and importance as any other marriage, and the commitment was just as serious. But it came with a choice. At the end of the year and a day, the couple could either choose to be united in a lifelong marriage, or they could part and go on with their lives as though the union didn't occur."
"But this," Dean says, gesturing around himself at the other couples who have people leaned over them, seemingly performing the same ceremony, "this is just a recreation. It's not real."
"Just like any other handfasting, it's real if you want it to be. It's what ties you together in your hearts that matters. Nothing else."
She smiles and walks away as the man folds the braided ribbons into Dean's palm. He says nothing before leaving to join the woman. I want to laugh. This seems like one of those moments where I'm supposed to laugh, and then Dean and I take a picture dressed in Medieval peasant clothes, and it becomes a magnet that holds up the grocery list on the front of my refrigerator. But I can't. Something is stopping me from laughing.
Dean and I fall into step beside each other and start walking.
"That was unexpected," he finally says.
I nod.
"Definitely unexpected. It was also the most romantic thing I've ever heard."
"Me, too."
"But it was just a recreation at a St. Patrick's Day festival. We didn't even know what we were doing, so it's not like it means anything. It's just a funny story for us to tell people."
"It doesn't have to be," he says suddenly.
My breath catches in my throat, and even though I try to blow it back out, it stays there, making my heartbeat feel harder and faster.
"What do you mean?"
"It doesn't have to just be a funny story for us to tell people. You heard what they said. That ceremony isn't about anything or anyone but us. Its significance completely relies on what we think about it. It is as real as we want it to be."
"Dean, what are you saying?"
"Look, Alice, I know this is unexpected, and neither one of us could have imagined this happening. But maybe that's exactly why it should have happened. Sometimes the best things in life are the ones that you don't expect or plan for. Sometimes you will find exactly what you need when you're not looking for it at all. I spent my life trying to help people find the things in their life they think are going to give them what they want. I watch them plan these elaborate bucket lists and go through everything just to fulfill something. But in the end, do you know what I believe everyone really wants?"
"What?"
"Happiness. It sounds simplistic and cliché, but that's really what everybody's looking for. The most important thing anyone could ever put on a list of what they want to accomplish or experience in their life is true happiness. We should all want to do amazing things and experience what we never thought we could, and that's what I have with you."
"Dean, you are nothing if not completely unexpected. The very first date you planned for me was full of the most mundane and predictable experiences you could possibly think of, and because of that it was incredible. I never would have imagined something like that, but it's not just the things we do together I'm surprised by. What I feel for you is nothing like I would have planned. It's actually the complete opposite. My plan was to not fall for anyone, but you came along, and something happened that I can't explain, and I don't even want to. What matters is it's here and it's real."
"I want to be bound to you, Alice. Every word they said, I want that for us. I want to protect and comfort you, to support and encourage you. I want to create something together."
I wish I could say something, anything, but no words will come. Dean doesn't need them. He can feel what I'm thinking and knows I want this.
Before I realize it, we've gotten back to the house where we're staying. Rather than staying in the big house on the hill where Dean grew up, we've taken over the house where Judy and her husband Jeremy lived right after getting married. They've recently moved back to the house beside Emma and Grant, leaving Jeremy's house for the family and friends who drift in and out of Magnolia Falls. We get to the front door, and Dean turns the knob. Before either of us step through, he scoops me up into his arms, cradling me against him, and kicks the door open to carry me over the threshold. His mouth is pressed to mine before we get to the stairs, and my fingers have unbuttoned as many of the buttons on his shirt as I can reach by the time we get to the bedroom.
I squeal as Dean tosses me onto the bed. He reaches for my shoes and pulls them off, dropping them to the floor before peeling away my socks. I help from the other end, taking off my shirt and my bra before working on my pants. Dean is kissing his way up the inside of my thigh, the heat of his mouth intense even through the denim, and I sigh when his lips touch skin as I push my pants away. He immediately follows them with my panties, and in seconds, I am stretched naked across the bed. Dean comes down on top of me and I realize he hasn't taken off a single article of clothing. I can feel his skin through the opening in his shirt I created by releasing the buttons, but the rest of him stays completely covered. He crushes my mouth with another kiss, and I run my hands over his body, wanting the fabric to be gone so I can feel his skin.
"I want to touch you," I murmur. "Let me touch you."
Dean reaches into his pocket and pulls out a condom, setting it on the bed beside me before removing his clothes with the same speed and determination as when he had removed mine. Before he can pick it back up, I grab the condom and rip open the package. I reach for Dean and pull him forward by the hips, so he straddles my body on his knees. It gives me a mouthwatering view and easy access to his already surging erection.
Wrapping my hand around his s
haft, I stroke it a few times to indulge in the velvety slip of his skin over the engorged muscles. Dean groans and reaches behind him to dip his fingers into my waiting folds. I am already wet, aching for his touch, and the slide of his fingers is almost enough to push me to the very edge of my control.
Resting the condom on the soft head of his cock, I roll it down to the base. The instant it is in place, Dean pushes my thighs apart with his knees and sinks into me with one insistent thrust. Having him inside me is everything I need, making me feel more awake and alive with every glide deeper into my body. It is only seconds before both of us are gasping, our kisses primal as heat sears through us. Dean flips onto his back without withdrawing from my body, settling me over his hips. His hands guide me to grind against him, and he puts his thumb in his mouth, licking the pad before bringing it between my thighs and swirling it over my taut clit. That is all my body can handle, and I let out a scream as I clench down on him. His hands grip my hips and dig into my skin as he pulses wildly inside me.
There is no green beer that St. Patrick's Day. No music and dancing. I don't even eat a piece of soda bread. It is just Dean and me.
The next day…
"He's in the shower, so I only have a minute. I just wanted you to be the first one to know."
The other end of the line is silent.
"Lee? Are you there?" Still nothing. "Are you mad or are you so excited your squeal of happiness for me is too high for human ears to hear?"
"You got married?" he finally sputters.
I can't really decipher the emotion in his voice.
"Yes. Well, hand-fasted. I think that's the verb. We had a handfasting. But, yes, we are going to honor it. It's a binding commitment for one year and one day. And then we'll see what happens."
"You got married... without me?"
Ah, that's the emotion. FOMO has just become IAMO. I Already Missed Out.
"Please don't feel bad. I almost missed it. It wasn't something we thought about or even knew was happening."
"But you're going to honor it anyway? You were lulled into compliance by a big man speaking Gaelic and now you're committed to Dean?"
"You know me, Lee. I never would have considered something like this. It's spontaneous, and irrational, and makes no sense... but that's exactly why I need it. Maybe it had to be something completely outlandish that would jolt me into having more in life. I threw myself completely into Wonderland and was willing to sacrifice virtually everything else in life to fully concentrate on that."
"And now you're going to do the same for Dean."
"No. That's not what this is. But why can't I have both? He's been right there beside me, helping me through everything that's been happening."
"So have I."
"Yes, but Dean also likes to have sex with me."
Lee makes an exasperated sound.
"Well, if that's all it takes for you to want to marry someone, then you should have called me... so I could confirm to you that was definitely not going to happen, and you should go ahead and choose Dean."
I laugh.
"Thank you, Lee."
"Don't thank me yet. I still have more uncomfortable things to say to you."
"Lay them on me. Nothing is going to ruin my mood. I even sent an email to Q standing up to him and using words I have never once put in an email."
"That's not exactly the segue I wanted, but since it presented itself, I'll go with it. Have you talked to Dean any more about that situation?"
"What about it?"
"You randomly meet this gorgeous guy who sweeps you off your feet, only to find out he's mega-wealthy and owns a company that often buys things that fit with his personal interests for his collection, which just so happens to include vintage theaters."
"I didn't randomly meet Dean. The only reason I met him is because of you and that cooking gig. And he had no idea who I was or that I own Wonderland. I didn't even tell him until we'd gone out a few times."
"Just because you didn't tell him doesn't mean he didn't know."
"What are you trying to say, Lee?"
"Exactly what I said. Have you talked to him about it?"
"No, but I don't have to. His company and the company run by the silent partner have completely different names. Besides, you've read the emails from Q and you've interacted with Dean. Do you honestly think they could be the same person?"
Lee hesitates for a few seconds before answering.
"No. Just be careful."
Dean comes out of the shower just as I end the call. He sits on the edge of the bed and I maneuver into his lap.
"Was that Lee?" he asks.
"He says hi."
He didn't, but we've been friends long enough I feel I have the authority to throw a 'hi' in every now and then.
"How is the theater coming?"
"He hasn't heard from Shannon, so he's taking that as a good sign. I can't believe the deadline is coming up so soon. Less than a month away."
I don't know why I said that. It just plopped out of my mouth, like somehow Lee had thrown the words through the phone with his thoughts and they fell out when I tried to say something else.
"You aren't worried about it, are you?"
I shake my head.
"With the plans we have in place, it's going to work out fine."
He wraps his arms around me and tips us both over so our bodies curl around each other. It seems the shower was futile.
After three more days in Magnolia Falls, it's time to pack and head back to the city. As much as I'm looking forward to being back in New York and checking up on the progress of the theater, I can't help but admit I'm going to miss it here. His mother hugs me goodbye and tells me to come back soon. I tell her I will, and fully mean it. Now I understand why the brothers divide their time between their own worlds and here. It's hard to imagine visiting here once and not wanting to come back as soon as you leave.
"Alice, I'm glad I caught you," Preston says as he comes in the room. "Where's Dean?"
"He had to run back to Jeremy's house for something he forgot."
Preston has a brief, flickering response, like the idea of leaving something behind is horrifying. It's hard to imagine this man and Dean shared the same womb for nine months. Not because they are so different. Fraternal twins are technically no more similar than any other pair of siblings. More because I can't imagine Preston inhabiting such a small space with anyone and dealing with his brother's toes in his eyes and kicking at irregular intervals.
"Can you give these to him? They were forwarded to my office by mistake."
I take the manila folder he holds out to me.
"Thank you."
One more round of goodbyes ends in several more hugs before I walk out of the house and toward Dean's car parked in front. He literally ran back to Jeremy's house, so I decide to wait for him in the car. I take a step and stumble, dropping the folder Preston just handed me. The papers inside scatter and I gather them back up.
"Alice, are you alright?" Dean's mother calls down to me.
My eyes have already scanned the paper in my hand. I didn't mean them to. I intended to just put them back in the folder the way they came, but the words jumped out at me so insistently I couldn't ignore them. One hand waves away Mrs. Laurence as the other shoves the papers into the folder without any attempt at organization. My body feels heavy as I climb into the car and force my seat belt into place. If I don't do it now, I might slide off the end of the seat. Or open the door and run.
I've heard the honeymoon phase of marriage doesn't last long, but this is fucking ridiculous.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Alice
"It's going to be a long couple of hours if you don't say anything."
I haven't said a word to Dean since he got in the car in Magnolia Falls, and now the ground is rapidly getting smaller beneath the plane as we climb higher into the sky. There's so much to say to him, and yet nothing at all. I can't find any words to express what I'm feeli
ng, or to even give him the chance to explain. There isn't any way you can explain it. I don't care what kind of excuse he tries to give or how he tries to talk himself out of it, nothing can explain the papers Preston handed to me.
"I don't want to talk," I finally say.
“I don't think that's true,” Dean says.
He's giving me that charming smile, but there's nothing amusing about the two of us being trapped inside this aluminum tube for the next two hours until we finally land in New York again, and I can get away from him.
“Don't talk to me about the truth,” I say.
I was hoping we would be able to get through this flight without having to have this conversation, but it's not happening. As soon as he said that, he opened the floodgates and there's nothing I can do to stop them now.
“What are you talking about, Alice?”
Clothes, balled up tissues, pieces of gum, and a word-find book tumble out of my bag and scatter across the floor of the airplane as I dig around in it. Dean's airplane. Dean's private airplane he can afford because of unbelievable wealth that constantly grows, thanks to a business that might as well suck blood. Anger and sadness well up inside me as I wrap my hand around the folder and yank it out. I’d meant to leave it in there until we got back to New York and I had a chance to think through what I want to say to him. I had shoved it into the bag before Dean got back in the car but haven't stopped thinking about it. Now I toss it at him, not caring about the a few pieces of paper that slip out and flutter to the floor.
“That's what I'm talking about.”
“What is this?”
Dean leans down to pick up the papers. I see his face fall and know he's noticed the same thing I did when I first saw them.
“Preston gave them to me, to give to you before we left Magnolia Falls. He says they were accidentally forwarded to his office. Do you think somebody accidentally put the wrong company at the top of the letterhead, too?”