“But you’re not even going to be here, Justin. How can you expect to spend more time with her? Even if we had a joint-custody arrangement one of us would have her most of the time. She can’t fly back and forth between New Orleans and Chicago every week.”
“I want more than a casual acquaintance with my daughter, Bethany.”
“I want that for you, too. I’ll do my best to help that happen. What more can I say?”
“You can say you’ll marry me, that you’ll come to Chicago and the three of us will live as a family.”
She bent her head, and her hair fell forward, hiding her profile. She was grateful for the dark curtain, because she was sure the conflict his words had caused were visible in her face. Like a good lawyer, Justin would press his advantage. When she straightened, she swept her hair back over her ear and turned toward him.
“I can’t marry you. Abby deserves better than two parents who tolerate each other for her sake. Someday maybe one of us will provide her with the model of a marriage she should have, but until then, I think it would be best if we don’t pretend.” The words cost more pain than she had anticipated. Not only was she refusing to marry Justin, but she was giving him her permission—encouragement, even—to find a wife. Directly following the pain was the realization that she must still be tied emotionally to him; it wouldn’t hurt this bad otherwise.
“I didn’t intend for us to pretend, Bethany. I’d want us to make a real commitment.”
“Based on what? On the result of one ill-planned act of passion that occurred five years ago?” In horror she realized her voice was thick with unshed tears. She turned to look over the lake and compose herself.
The warmth of his arm encircling her shoulder was a surprise. He pulled her toward him to lean her head against his chest. Sitting quietly like that, she couldn’t prevent tears from slipping down her cheeks, and she mopped them with the napkin he provided.
“I’ve always had trouble taking what you offered me.” He turned her toward him so their faces were only inches apart. He bent his head the infinitesimal distance to kiss her gently. His lips were warm and firm. He applied no pressure, just held himself close to her for a moment and then moved away. “I accept your offer to become a part of Abby’s life.”
If he had reached out to slap her she would have been no more surprised. Buried memories of this gentle Justin began to surface in painful surges. She realized she was staring at him and that she had no idea what he had said. “I’m sorry,” she said. “What did you say?”
“I’m willing to play the game by your rules. At least for a while. If I’m to become part of our daughter’s life, I’d like to begin right away. Where do we start?” He smiled encouragement.
“We’ll have to introduce you,” she said.
“How do you suggest we accomplish that? It’s bound to be a shock.”
Bethany pleated the blanket with nervous fingers as she ran through possible scenarios. “Abby is an exceptionally charming child, but she can be temperamental, too.” She smiled at his quizzical look. “She obviously gets that from you.”
That got a smile. “How long have you wanted to tell me that?”
Pleased, she went on. “She tends to hold grudges for a long time, but she also loves with abandon. I honestly can’t say how meeting you will affect her. Perhaps we shouldn’t tell her who you are at first.” Before he could answer, she shook her head decisively. “No, she would know. She knows she was named for her father, and she’s too smart not to notice the resemblance. She’ll have to be told.”
“You should prepare her before I come to see her.”
“That would be best. Then maybe you can take her somewhere so that you can be alone together.”
They both sat quietly, until Justin broke the silence. “It won’t work. I don’t know that much about little girls, but I can’t imagine it working. She won’t want to go anywhere with me. I may be her father, but she doesn’t even know me.”
“You’re right,” she said reluctantly. “I hate to interfere with your first outing, but I think I’d better come along. That will make it less awkward. I’m sorry.”
“I’m relieved. Until I learn to be a father, I would appreciate your help and support.”
This was as close to saying he needed her as anything he had ever said before. Without thinking, she covered his hand with hers. “You’ve got it. I’ll do whatever I can.”
“Then help me come up with a place and agree to have dinner with me tonight. You and our daughter.”
She stood, brushing crumbs from her pants as she forced herself to subdue her bubbling goodwill. The very closeness she felt to him should be warning enough. Once before she had allowed her feelings to take control, and the outcome had been disastrous. She was the mother of his child; perhaps they could establish a good working relationship. But the pleasure she felt when he touched her or made a simple request was totally inappropriate.
“That gives me very little time to prepare her, but maybe that’s best,” she said finally.
Justin gathered up the blanket, folding it to put in the trunk of his car, and they walked down the levee. The drive home was quiet, with each immersed in his own thoughts. As they pulled in front of Bethany’s apartment, Justin asked, “Where and when?”
“Six o’clock. Let me think about where. I’m afraid eating out with a four-year-old is a unique experience.”
“Anything goes,” he answered.
“That’s a terrific idea. I’m glad you thought of it.”
“I think I’ve lost you.”
“That’s the name of a restaurant not too far from here. Anything Goes. I’ve heard it’s a great place to take children. We can walk across the Quarter, and Abby can work off some energy first.” She laughed at his look. “Come prepared to eat in a tepee.”
Slamming the door, she waved goodbye as he drove away. The sidewalks were crowded as she watched his car slowly disappear into traffic. Turning, she made her way to the iron gate. She had the rest of the afternoon to get her emotions under control and to decide how to tell Abby that her father had mysteriously come back. Somehow even a lifetime didn’t seem long enough.
CHAPTER SIX
BETHANY SPREAD HER arms wide as a whirlwind of pigtails and excited screams came running up the stairs toward her. “Abby! I’m so glad you’re home.”
“So am I,” groaned the woman at the bottom, and Bethany laughed as Madeline trudged upstairs to meet her. “Now I understand why God gives children to the young.”
“Did you wear out poor Madeline, Abby?” Bethany kissed the tip of the little girl’s nose as she held her close.
“She likes it. What’s for dinner?” The little girl ran around the apartment, checking each nook and cranny to be sure nothing important had changed since she’d been gone.
If she only knew, Bethany thought. Everything has changed.
She turned to Madeline. “Make you a cup of tea?”
The older woman collapsed unceremoniously onto the sofa. “Please!”
“What’s for dinner? Can I go down to the courtyard to see Bum?” Abby hopped from foot to foot waiting for an answer.
“We’re going out for dinner, and yes, you can play with Bum while I talk to Madeline.”
She watched the little girl scoot down the stairs, just slowly enough to keep from falling head over heels. At the bottom Abby caught sight of the big yellow tomcat. and ran to embrace him.
Bethany whistled softly. “She’s wound up like a top. Has she been this way all weekend?”
“Pretty nearly. She liked being at my house, but I think she worried about you, too. You haven’t been yourself this past week.” Madeline sat back with her arms folded. “Are you ready to tell me what’s going on?”
Bethany filled a kettle with water, setting it on the burner to heat. She measured the tea and scalded the teapot with hot tap water as she thought about Madeline’s words. It wasn’t going to be easy to tell anyone about Justin.
&nb
sp; Madeline was watching her carefully. “You make tea the way you do everything. You put so much of yourself into it. You’re the only person on this side of the Atlantic Ocean who actually heats her teapot.”
“Abby’s father is in town.” The statement fell into empty space, and Bethany, not expecting a response yet, felt around for the right words. “I saw him at the flea market last Saturday. One thing led to another, and he found out about Abby.”
“Found out about her?”
“His name is Justin Dumontier. I never told him I was pregnant, Madeline. I was very much in love with him, and when I realized he didn’t love me, I decided not to tell him about the baby.”
“I always wondered.” The older woman waited for more.
“I’ve agreed to let him assume a place in Abby’s life. He’s coming to take us out to dinner tonight.”
“Both of you?” Madeline raised an eyebrow.
“Abby will feel more comfortable that way.”
“And you. How will you feel?”
Bethany took the boiling water off the burner and slowly poured it over the tea leaves. “Confused. I’ve been hurt and angry for almost five years. Justin walks back into my life, and for a while today I actually found myself feeling glad to be with him.”
“Then I can see why you’re confused.” Madeline patted the sofa next to her. “Come here.”
Bethany sat and turned to face her friend. “Do you believe I could still be so vulnerable?”
“Beth, just don’t make any decisions right now. Realize you are vulnerable, that you’re still hurting, and let time take care of the rest. You’re a different person. This Justin probably is, too.”
Bethany leaned her head against the cushions. “If I’m different it’s because of you and what you’ve done for me.”
“You always give more than you get, and you never realize it.”
Abby called from the courtyard. “Mommy, can Bum come up and have some milk?”
Bethany rose and walked to the steps, peering down at her daughter. “Only if he follows you—don’t carry him.” Like a tame housecat instead of the half-wild creature he was, the giant tomcat came slinking up the stairs after the little girl.
Madeline rose, too. “I’m going to skip the tea. I think you and Abby probably have some catching up to do.”
“Thank you for this weekend, and for listening.”
“Entirely my pleasure.” The older woman bent to give Abby a quick kiss. “Don’t tell your mommy about the ice-cream cone you had for breakfast.” She laughed as Bethany rolled her eyes. “I’ll see you in the shop tomorrow.”
Bethany held out her hand to Abby. “Well, sweetheart, come tell me about your day.”
The little girl was kneeling beside Bum, watching in fascination as his rough tongue lapped the milk. “We played hide-and-go-seek over at City Park. They have big trees there, but Madeline always found me.”
“What else?”
“Madeline let me help cut the kip for a new mask.” Madeline specialized in masks of leather, soaked and molded on hand-cast plaster forms. It was a technique developed centuries before and used originally for vessels and armor, as well as masks. “She says if she sells the mask she’ll give me a dollar.”
“And what will you do with a dollar?”
“I’ll buy Lamar a new hat. His old one has a hole in it and the money falls out.” Bum finished the milk and took off down the stairs as if possessed. Abby bounced on the sofa next to her mother. “Are you going to marry Lamar?”
Bethany ruffled the little girl’s hair. “No, definitely not. I’ve told you we’re just good friends. Why do you keep asking?”
“I’d like him to be my daddy. Do you think he could be, even if you don’t marry him?”
It wasn’t the first time Abby had expressed her desire for a daddy. But it was the first time Bethany had an answer. She pulled the little girl onto her lap. “Abby, do you remember what I told you about your daddy?”
“He went away before I was born, but you said he would love me very much if he knew me.”
“That’s right, you do remember.”
“I think it’s silly. Daddies don’t go away.”
“It’s hard to explain.” Bethany searched for words. “Your daddy didn’t know you were going to be born. And after you were, I never saw him again.”
“Daddies aren’t s’posed to go away.” Abby’s lower lip sank to her chin. “I don’t like him.”
Bethany pumped enthusiasm into her voice. “You shouldn’t say that. Your daddy’s a good man, and something exciting happened last week. I saw him again. I told him about you, and he really wants to meet you. He wants to be a real daddy to you.”
“Ouch, you’re hurting me.”
Bethany realized that she had gripped the little girl tighter as she spoke. “Oh, I’m sorry, sweetheart.” Relaxing her hold, she waited for her daughter to say something about this unexpected development. “What do you think?”
“Mommy, can we get a puppy? We could keep him in the courtyard and he could play with Bum.”
“Your daddy’s coming to take us to dinner tonight.” The expression on the little girl’s face didn’t change. “Abby?”
“He’s a dumb daddy. I don’t want to go with him.” Abby jumped off her mother’s lap and ran to the door. “Can I go play with Bum?”
Bethany watched the child’s features settle into the mask that was so like Justin at his most maddening. “He’s going to be here in a little while. You go play with the cat, but you’ll have to come up and change in ten minutes. Understand?”
The dark eyes that met hers were not happy. “He’s a dumb daddy,” she said as she turned and marched down the stairs.
So much for tactfully setting the atmosphere. It was understandable that Abby would be apprehensive. But she was more than that. She was angry. Her father had deserted her before she was born, and she wanted no part of him.
Rising to empty the carefully brewed pot of tea into the sink, she wondered if the newfound peace with Justin would share a similar fate. Had she said things in such a way that without ever setting eyes on Justin, Abby had grown to dislike him? That had never been her intention. She wondered if she should warn him. Or would he see her phone call as an attempt to keep him from his daughter a little longer? It was an impossible situation. Helplessly she went into the bedroom to start gathering suitable clothing for what promised to be a difficult evening.
* * *
“ARE YOU GOING out tonight, Justin?” Louise Dumontier was standing in the doorway of his room, watching him knot his gray striped tie. “Shall I tell Mrs. Waters there’ll only be one for dinner?”
Nodding, he watched his mother’s curious reflection in the mirror. “I’m taking a friend out.”
“I hope it’s Danielle de Bessonet. I couldn’t help noticing she seemed to have her eye on you at the supper dance the other night. And she comes from such a nice family.”
“It’s not Danielle. It’s a friend from Florida whom I haven’t seen in several years.”
“Did you meet her when you were in Miami on a case? I’ll bet she’s a friend of the Fraziers. They know such interesting people.”
“No, I met her in Tallahassee.” He turned to his mother, eyeing her warily. “What else do you want to know?”
Mrs. Dumontier shrugged helplessly. “It’s just that you seem so alone, and there are dozens of young women from families I’m friends with who would love to get to know you better.”
He smiled, kissing her on the cheek as he walked past her and down the hall. “Well, I won’t be alone tonight, mother. Don’t wait up.”
Sprinting down the stairs, he nodded to the man who was polishing the chrome on the Mercedes, wincing slightly as he took too long to stand up. “You shouldn’t be working so hard, Homer. I could swear you polished the car earlier this week.” Homer just smiled as he opened the car door. Justin drove slowly around the circular drive, barely seeing the Japanese magnolias showerin
g the driveway of the Greek revival mansion with their creamy pink petals.
His mouth was set in a grim line as he turned the car toward the Quarter. The encounters with his mother and Homer had not helped lighten the unease he carried with him. They had fussed over him as if he were a teenager on his first date, and like that adolescent he found himself wondering what he could say and do to make the long evening ahead go well.
He had spent the afternoon trying to remember what he had been like at Abby’s age. What kinds of things did you talk to a four-year-old girl about? Should he bring her a present, or would that seem as if he were trying to buy her affection?
And Bethany. . . Here his mind refused to form questions. They would be together for the evening with their daughter, almost like a family. She would be close enough to touch, to smile at, to laugh with, to—
Consciously he broke off that dangerous train of thought. He was going to meet his daughter. One major complication in his life was all he needed.
* * *
“HOLD STILL, ABBY. I’m almost done.” Bethany held the long lock of black hair in one hand, gently teasing a snarl with a wide-toothed comb. “There, you look beautiful.”
The little girl examined herself in the full-length mirror and sniffed. Obviously she wasn’t impressed with the vision staring petulantly back at her. With something like desperation Bethany had decided to dress Abby in her favorite outfit, a lavender dress with white sleeves and belt. Usually, wearing it was reason enough to put her in a good mood. Not tonight, however.
The dress brought to life Abby’s vivid coloring: black eyes and hair like her father, with Justin’s sculpted features. Only her alabaster complexion was like her mother’s. With a smile on her face Abby was a remarkably beautiful child. Tonight there was no smile.
“Cheer up. You’ll like the restaurant we’re going to a lot. I’ll bet your daddy will buy you a big ice-cream sundae for dessert.”
There was no response.
Bethany put the finishing touches on her own outfit. She knew it was ridiculous to be so concerned about how they looked, but she had stood in front of the closet for ten full minutes, bemoaning the lack of possibilities. Finally she had settled on a simple turquoise blouse and gathered skirt. With them she wore beaten-gold hoop earrings. She had traded a mask to own them. When the buzzer sounded she took a deep breath, trying to calm the butterflies swarming in her stomach, and pushed the button to release the lock on the iron gate.
The Unmasking Page 8