by Barb Shuler
“Where is your beau,” a deep voice said from behind us. I looked back to see Marcus looking at her with sympathy in his eyes. Stella grunted.
“He’s downstairs talking to the FBI dudes. They’re being twatwaffles. I came up here before I junk punched one of them. I’m just not in the mood to deal with anymore assholes right now.”
“I’ll go down and check on things, then. Make sure everyone is behaving.” The man strode down the hall. The Chief was on his heels. Guess he wanted to make sure no one got hurt for being a douche. It could happen. You never know with these men.
“What happened with Connor?” Lana asked. Her face fell as she looked around. She was still worried about shooting him. I shook my head.
“He went to surgery. He has an FBI escort and as soon as he’s released he’s going back behind bars where he belongs.”
It was Walker that spoke this time.
Lana nodded. Poor kid.
“You have nothing to feel bad about, Lana. You did what you had to do in order to save not only yourself, but Kristol and her baby...babies. You didn’t do anything wrong. You should be proud of yourself for taking that leap.” Papa smiled up at her from the floor where he sat with Derek. “It’s going to be okay. I promise.”
“Yeah, Butterfly. I told you. He deserved much worse. Fucking asshole!”
“Derek, relax. I’ll cuff you if you try to go after him again.” Charlie said, but I could see the twitch of his lips. They all shared the same thoughts, I’m sure. Connor definitely deserved much worse. Even I thought that.
“Well, okay, I’m going to take Jacks to see his son. If you need me, go to the desk at the end of the hall and tell them to page me.” I gave Stella’s hand one last squeeze, then kissed Lana on the head, before I moved to Jacks and led him down the hall.
This day just kept getting better and better. I could only pray that Kris was able to pull herself back from the damage done to her today. And that both Robert and Gabe made it out of the OR in relatively good shape. They meant too much to the people in this room and the people of our town. I had a special place in my heart for them both. They’d been there the day I was rescued from my father’s abuse. They had always been there when I needed something as a kid.
My hand pushed against the nursery doors and we walked into the prep room. I smiled as Ella took the baby from Jacks and we worked to get him into the proper gear to go inside. It was time to reunite him with his babies.
13
Bad News Travels Fast
Dani Lynn
What was going to happen next? Dad’s heart had already stopped once, Derek had attacked Connor Jacobs in the ER, Kristol was having emergency surgery to remove her insides, and I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I was in desperate need of a stiff drink, a Xanax and possibly a very long vacation in an isolated spot far away from all this bullshit we’ve had to deal with the last few years.
I’d tried to cut myself earlier. I’d hit the rock bottom of my sanity. I’d broken down and wanted nothing more than for the pain I was feeling to dissolve into a pain I could control. I was angry with myself for being stupid. I had a sickness that would forever live inside me. It just was what it was. Drew and Doc Crandall has settled me down and I moved on, pushing it all away like I had before.
If I pretended it wasn’t there, it wouldn’t be.
My back and abdomen were killing me, not to mention the cuts on my hands. I didn’t even realize they were there until the nurses started cleaning them when I arrived in the ER. How could I be so out of it? Though, I figured I had sustained them while I was hanging upside down in that big hole in the ground, so talk about a wake up call.
That wasn’t the only thing. While in the ER I found out - thanks to a blood test - that I was pregnant. Again! I’m still torn on whether to be happy now, or wait. I can’t be happy while my dad lays on a bed in an OR fighting for his life.
So here I sit. Two bandaged hands, a bandaged abdomen, an ACE wrap around me to keep the shit they put all over me in place, feeling like my world is going to crash down around me at any minute. To add insult to injury, the FBI clowns keep asking me the same stupid ass questions over and over again. I’m done dealing with these people.
I moved to stand, slowly of course, because I hurt. I needed to move, to stretch out my tired and aching body, or I was going to go crazy. I might also be tempted to punch the man staring daggers at me - in the jewels. Not sure I could do that and not get into some kind of trouble for it.
“Mrs. Landry, I have a few more questions.” The man said. I gave him the one-fingered salute and walked out of the waiting room. Drew followed, but I held up a hand.
“Please, I just need a minute.” I wrapped my arms around myself and walked down the hall, alone. When I’d come upstairs, everyone had been in the hall and in the room, which with so many big men in it felt like a fucking fish bowl.
I’d hugged the stuffing out of my kid and Lana. She had been so brave today. I knew she felt bad for shooting Connor, even if the asshole deserved it. I got that. I only wished I could have been there to put a bullet between his eyes.
I made my way around the hall and to the wing where the nursery was. Looking at all the cute little faces would help edge the darkness creeping up in me out... I hoped. Doctor Crandall helped. She’d talked me off the ledge. The urge to grab a pair of scissors and dig them into my skin was there. I won’t lie. It’s something that’s eating at me slowly.
God, I want it so bad, but I can’t. I won’t become that girl again. The girl I was after my mom died. She needed to stay repressed inside me. She was a troubled girl. I’m a mom now. I can’t be that girl. Not now. Not ever again.
I stopped before the big picture window of the nursery and smiled as I watched the little bundles in the bassinets. Such innocence. They had no idea what this world was like. They’d be brought up in a world full of disrespect, racism and hatefulness.
I brushed away the tears escaping d my eyes. I could feel the darkness building and building within me. It was happening all over again.
I didn’t realize what I was doing at first. I’d peeled the bandage back, allowing my nails to dig into the cuts already there. The sting in my left hand increased, but it felt so damn good. I couldn’t stop. My eyes closed as I felt the familiar trickle of warmth working its way down my fingers. I leaned against the wall and let myself get lost in the pain.
“Dani Lynn!”
A familiar voice growled my name, but I was lost in the haze of calm the new pain was bringing me. There was a loud popping sound and I snapped my eyes open. My cheek stung from the slap someone had delivered. In front of me stood one very pissed off Stella Malone. She grabbed me by the arm and jerked me into the hallway. Her hands moved to mine, squeezing it tight. I was guessing that was to stop the bleeding.
“Stop.” I protested, trying to jerk my hand away. I was crying harder now.
“You shut up! I will slap you again. So help me God, I will.” Her face was red. She was panting like a pissed off bull and all of that anger was directed at me!
“Get off of me!” I tried to pull my hand back again. She shoved my back against the wall and leaned into me. I could have broken her hold, but something inside of me didn’t want to. I knew what she was doing was what was best, what I needed.
“I know you are hurting. I feel it too, but I will not allow you to hurt yourself. You will only start to hate yourself again if you do this. Do not make me kick your ass.” “I need it,” I said, my voice no more than a whisper. Tears streamed down my face like someone had blown a hole in the Hoover Dam.
“You listen to me, woman. The only thing you need right now is to focus on the light. Remember? Don’t you dare let that girl come back to life. You survived too much to do that again. Your mom, the depression, Nicole... Jesus, Dani Lynn-” she paused and met my gaze before she spoke again, “You’re a damn fighter, so fucking fight it. Do you hear me? You fucking fight it. When Gabe wakes up he doesn’t need to see that shell
of a girl he saw for years. He needs to see the strong, tough as fucking nails daughter he has now.”
“I’m scared-” I broke off into another sob.
Her arms came around me and we slid to the floor. Right there, sitting across from the happiest place in the hospital, I finally fell apart. My body shook as the worry, pain and uncertainty of everything hit me.
Drew
Watching my wife, the woman I know inside and out, trying to hide her pain was killing me. She was curling back into herself. I wanted her to talk to me. I needed to get through to her, but I didn’t want to push her. If I did, she’d only shrink away faster. I knew this girl. I had seen it before.
After her mom died, she did things to herself. I was able to get through to her then. It took time, and I had to prove to her that I wasn’t going to walk away from her, but I made it through the wall she had erected around herself.
I watched as she walked away from the group in the waiting room. My heart was hurting for my girl. The worry lines and stress I could see in her eyes was making me worry.
If Gabe didn’t make it through this, I wasn’t sure if Dani Lynn would either. I’ll be honest, I’m fucking struggling to not flip out myself. She needed a minute, and I was going to give her that, but only from a short distance.
I started to move closer to where she stood against the wall by the nursery, but I was stopped. Trace and Stella pushed up beside me. Trace’s big hand on my shoulder gave me pause. Stella sniffled beside me, but then moved to where Dani Lynn stood. I watched as Stella grabbed Dani Lynn’s hand and they started to have a heated discussion.
I started toward them the moment Stella shoved Dani Lynn into the wall, but Trace stopped me again.
“Let her do this. They both need to get their shit together,” he said. I could hear the worry in his voice. These girls were wrapped so tightly around us that we were all crumbling. Jacks and Shelby came out of a side door and stopped before us.
“Bubba?” Jacks kept his voice soft, but I saw the worry that sprang into place there.
“It’s not me.” There was no need to say anything else. I was watching the woman I love, the woman who held my heart and soul in her hands, crumble to pieces in the arms of her best friend, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do.
“Oh, God! Did something else happen?” Shelby said as she gripped my hand. I shook my head.
“No news yet. She’s finally hit her breaking point.”
“Bubba,” Jacks said as he pulled me into a tight hug. Fuck it! I needed this, too. His soft words had my eyes tearing up, but I refused to let them go. Not now. “We have to stay strong for our girls. I’m here for you.” I hugged him tightly and slapped his back.
“Shelby, can you go see if she’s okay? I’m going to wait over here with the guys.” My voice sounded flat, and I guess it was. I wasn’t going to be okay until she was. That was just how it was going to be.
“Yes, of course.”
I moved with Jacks and Trace to sit in the chairs just inside the maternity wing doors. I watched as Shelby knelt down before Stella and Dani Lynn. I couldn’t tell what was said, but after a few minutes my attention wavered from the girls when a nurse came in, looking for Jacks. His body was tight as he stood.
“Mr. Landry?”
“Yes. How is my wife? Can I see her now?” he asked in a rush.
I stood with him and wrapped a supportive arm around his shoulder. After all, we were twins. Whatever one felt, the other felt.
“Your wife is doing well. She’s been moved to the recovery room. As soon as she is moved to a private room I’ll be back to get you. You should be able to see her soon.”
“Thank God!” He sagged against me. I gave him a squeeze.
I felt a warm fingers on my arm and turned to see Dani Lynn standing there. Her cheeks were red, and her eyes were puffy and bloodshot, but... God she was still beautiful, no matter what. I pulled her to me and wrapped my arms around her. I felt another set of arms wrap around us, and then another. There we all stood, in one big huddle of Love. I felt Dani Lynn relax against me. That was a good sign. It was a start, at least. Hopefully, we’d get some good news soon about Gabe and Robert. None of us were handling this waiting well. Patience may be a virtue, but it wasn’t something anyone of us excelled at.
“Y’all come on. Let’s go back to the waiting room. Dani Lynn, I’ll get something to clean your hand up with. I need to sit for a while.” Shelby’s words had both Dani Lynn and Stella ushering her down the hall. Thank goodness! They had something to focus on besides what was in front of all of our faces.
Not knowing what was happening really sucked.
14
Finally!
Dani Lynn
I’d been curled up in Drew’s lap, on a small couch in the waiting room, for what seemed like weeks. Everyone was anxious and no one had slept, except for Lana and Shelby, who had both been given pain meds. I refused to take them. I wasn’t sleeping until I knew if my daddy was okay.
Right now, everything was quiet. All of us were part of a waiting game that no one wanted to play.
Shelby had gone down to check on Jacks and Kristol again. We had all done the same in pairs over the last few hours. It was helping to keep us sane, and they knew we were here for them too.
Anna and Trevor had gone to the center to check on the kids. Truth was, Anna was about to lose it. I saw that look in her eyes. I knew it all too well. She wanted to be able to breakdown and get her shit back together before she saw the kids and us again.
No one was talking, the TV was off, and we were all just staring at the wall, the floor or just into space. We just sat here, waiting, all on edge. I was ready to climb the walls. I wanted to stretch my legs and get some fresh air, but I was afraid something would happen if I wasn’t here.
Uncle Walker came over and handed me a white bag.
“Come on, princess, eat up. You too, Andrew.” I made a face at him, but then noticed the other men had similar bags and drinks and were passing them out to everyone.
Poor Lana was still crashed out against Derek’s chest, but he took the offered drink handed to him. I sighed and sat up. I’d learned earlier to not argue with this man. He was as stubborn as a mule.
I heard Drew groan and I grimaced.
“I’m sorry, handsome” I said, moving to sit beside him.
“Don’t be. I like holding you.”
I gave him a small smile and took the cup Uncle Walker handed me. I took a sip of it and looked up at him. His wink made me smile.
“You remembered.”
“Of course, I did. Only the best for my girl.”
I shook my head and took another sip of my cherry coke. It was the real deal, too. The cherry syrup added a sweetness that beat all. I was still a Dr Pepper girl, don’t get me wrong, but nothing beat a real cherry coke. With a sigh, I sat the cup under my chair and pulled the wrapped sandwich from the bag. The smell of bacon hit my nose and I had to bite my lip to keep the moan inside. It smelled so good. I unwrapped it and took a big bite. I did groan in pleasure then.
The melted cheese, the bacon, the smoked turkey. Jesus, I needed three more of these. I was starving.
Now that I think about it... I have no idea when I ate last. Drew smirked and I elbowed him, but I returned the smile.
“Derek.” I looked over when the deep voice filling the room. Marcus handed him a couple of bags and pointed to Lana. “We got you two sugar cookies. No peanuts, or chocolate.”
“I’m the one allergic to chocolate,” Anna piped in from the doorway. I turned to see her and Trevor coming in.
“Ah, well, I’m still safe then.” He laughed under his breath and moved to sit on the floor by the window.
“You are,” she smiled at him.
“Thanks, man, appreciate it.” Derek said as he gently sat the bags beside him on the little couch.
The moment I was finished chewing the mouthful - cause again, I’m freaking starving - I met Anna’s gaze.
/>
“How are the kids? Do we need to get some more help for Mama Jay and Mrs. T?”
“Don’t worry, they’re all having a good time. Shana and Riley are helping them. They have it under control. There were a few tantrums and well…” At her pause Trevor snorted. I raised a brow, but Drew spoke before I could.
“What did Tyler do?” he asked. Anna’s face flushed.
“Mama Jay had to take her bat away…. She um..”
“Anna?” I questioned. She started to chuckle, then straightened up.
“She bopped a bigger kid she called a bully at the playground over the head with it. He pushed Ryan down - accidentally - and she bopped him. Busted his nose. He’s fine, though.”
“Jesus Christ,” Drew cursed and shook his head. He was trying not to laugh. I was too.
“Wait, so she was protecting her little cousin?” Derek asked. He laughed. Lana sat up and grumbled.
“I say she gets a frigging cookie.” Lana slumped down beside Derek and stretched down to grab her ankles.
“Lanabear, you okay?”Anna asked and moved to rub her sister’s back.
“Yeah, just sore as heck.”
Marcus snorted and shook his head. “Kid, just say it. You feel like shit. It’s okay, you can do it.”
“Marcus, leave her be.” Walker said. I gave Marcus a hard look, but said nothing. I was itching for a fight, but not now. Not today. I’m tired as hell. I finished my sandwich and looked up at the clock. It was almost nine o’clock already. The sky had turned black hours ago.
“Cartwright? McKenna?” We all stood up and moved towards the two doctors standing in the doorway.
“Cartwright here. How’s my dad?” I asked. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting the men to say. My stomach tightened and I started to think that sandwich might have been a bad idea.
“McKenna here. Is our dad okay?” Anna asked. Lana pushed up beside her. I felt Drew at my back his arm wrapping around me. Derek moved around to stand beside Lana. He took her hand and I looked back at the Doctors.