He’s quiet. I cross my arms and look straight ahead at the heavy traffic on the freeway. God, if this ride home takes longer than two hours, I might lose it. Especially if he’s not going to talk to me. I need him to respond, to say something, to do something.
Finally, he speaks. “I wanted to be truthful with you. I did. But I just—I didn’t know how to tell you that Rachelle’s older sister is my ex.” That’s all he says. And I guess he’s right, it’s as simple as that, but…
“You should’ve figured it out so I didn’t look so stupid. She knew you hadn’t told me, and I felt really dumb when she asked me and I had to admit the truth. She knows you that well, Jared. She has you all figured out still. Ten years after the fact. I guess that shows you haven’t really changed.”
He says nothing. Neither do I. I can’t help but be stuck on that one fact. That he hasn’t changed. That he will mostly likely never change. He’s thirty-four years old. Does that mean he’s set in his ways? I’m thinking yes.
And that makes me realize we will probably never work.
Ever.
Traffic finally clears and it’s a smooth ride straight through to Monterey. Jared never really says anything else and I decide I have nothing else to say either. I’m too tired, too overwhelmed, too frustrated by everything that happened this weekend. I thought we were having a breakthrough. I thought we’d connected. And maybe we did.
Maybe it wasn’t enough.
I take a nap but sleep fitfully. I dream of Jared showing up at my house, meeting my brother and sister, and Andie hating him on sight. The moment he walks in, she starts yelling at him. How he treats me badly, how he’s a complete jerk to his family—as if she would know, but it’s a dream. They don’t have to make sense.
They’re arguing in the kitchen when Andie reaches into the cabinet and flings a can of green beans at his head, knocking Jared out cold. I run to him, pull his head into my lap and brush the hair away from his forehead while I cry, but he never wakes up.
Andie killed him with a can of green beans.
The car slowing down causes me to wake up. I startle out of sleep, realizing that I drooled on his Tesla’s passenger side window again, but this time I feel no guilt. Exhaling loudly, I sit up straight, pushing my hair out of eyes and figuring out quickly that we’re almost to my house.
Shit. And everyone should actually be there too.
“You can just drop me off down the way from my house,” I mumble when he turns onto my street.
He sends me an incredulous look. “Are you that embarrassed you don’t want your neighbors to see me?”
“No, of course not. It’s just—” I pause, not sure how I want to say this. The truth is more hurtful sometimes, and this is one of those situations. “My brother and sister are home, and I don’t know how to explain to them that I went with you this weekend.”
He’s frowning. Hard. “Who do they think you’re with?”
“My friends.” I shrug. “I told them it was a girls’ weekend.”
“So you lied too.” He says the words casually, but I know what he’s trying to do. He’s trying to make me feel bad for supposedly doing the same thing he did to me.
It’s not going to work.
“That’s different. I didn’t know how to explain to them I was going away for the weekend with a man I don’t know very well.” Just saying it out loud makes our entire situation sound shady. Why did I agree to do this again? “I didn’t want them to worry.”
“How is that different? You lied to your family, I lied to mine. We’re both a pack of liars, Sarah. Just at varying degrees.” He pulls the car over two houses before mine and puts it in park. “But I’ll do as you ask. I’ll even help you with your suitcase. Go ahead and take your walk of shame home by yourself.”
He gets out of the car before I can say anything else.
My jaw is hanging open as my brain plays over everything he just said. My mother would’ve told me to shut my mouth before a fly swooped in, but I can’t help it. He’s tired of this shit? Well, I’m tired of his shit, too. I’m so over whatever the hell this thing is between us. Sick of lying to him, to myself, to my family, to his family.
I’m sick of all of it.
I climb out of the car, slamming the door with all the force I can muster. He’s already opened the trunk and pulled out the blush colored suitcase I borrowed from Stella, setting it onto the sidewalk with a loud thump.
Not even seven hours ago we were in the shower together. Naked. Wet and soapy, hands everywhere, mouths fused. He found another small box of condoms in the mini bar—he told me this just before we stepped into that amazing shower—so we had sex. Of course. He picked me up in his strong arms and held me against the tile, thrusting deep. We stayed in that shower so long, the water grew lukewarm and I was shivering. Probably not from the cold, though. More like because he gave me two orgasms in a very short span of time.
The man really knows what he’s doing when it comes to my body.
Now I’m considering taking Stella’s suitcase and swinging it at his knees just so I can watch him fall to the ground. God, he’s so frustrating. Of course, inflicting violence on Jared is not the answer. Look at my weird dream, for instance. Not sure what it meant, but I probably need to calm down.
“Thank you for coming with me,” he says solemnly as he hands over the suitcase. “I know you’re mad right now, but hopefully we can get together in a few days and talk.”
Talk. Is he for real? “Are you willing to talk to me, Jared? Really?”
He blinks at me, and I’m guessing I’ve offended him. “Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I think you have a hard time facing the truth.”
“No one wants to face the truth, Sarah—” he starts, but I cut him off.
“Adults who want their relationships to work face the truth every single day. Unlike you. When Evelyn told me how she called off your wedding, she said you didn’t even bother fighting for her. I was so smug in that moment. I truly believed—even though we’ve barely spent time together—that you would never do that to me. I knew you’d fight for me.”
“I would.” He says those two words quietly. “But I can’t force you to change your mind, Sarah. If this isn’t working for you, well…” He hesitates and then says, “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
My brain implodes. Seriously, that is exactly what Evelyn told me he said to her when she ended their engagement. He doesn’t give a crap about me.
He doesn’t give a crap about anyone.
“I’m such an idiot. You wouldn’t fight for me. You won’t fight for anyone, not even yourself.” I yank on the suitcase handle and start walking along the sidewalk toward my house. “I can’t do this anymore, Jared,” I toss over my shoulder. “I don’t want to be with a man who just lets everything happen to him without actually doing anything about it.”
I walk away. My head held high, my chin trembling, the tears filling my eyes and already spilling down my face. I sniff, press my lips together, and speed up my pace, making my way into the house and slamming the door behind me. I collapse against the door and let the sobs come, thankful no one is in the living room to see me fall apart.
I never did check to see if Jared tried to follow me to my house. I suppose it really doesn’t matter.
Not like he would’ve done anything to make it better between us.
Thirty-Seven
Tonight is supposed to be fun. I’m with my friends. We have a huge table at Tuscany, Stella’s brothers’ restaurant, and we are having fun. Loads of fun. There’s lots of wine. Baskets full of warm bread. The appetizers were just dropped off and we still have our entrees to look forward to, and I should be happy. Hungry. Thankful for my friends’ support, for them being there for me during my darkest hours.
If that sounds like major drama, then I’m feeling majorly dramatic. I’m also tired. Sad. All cried out. A little angry.
Okay, fine. I’m a lot angry.
Reaching out, I grab the wine bottle closest to me and refill my glass. It’s a red when I was drinking a white. Whoops. It doesn’t really matter.
“Sarah.” A hand settles on my forearm and I turn to see Eleanor sitting next to me, concern filling her cornflower-blue eyes. “Maybe you should ease up on the wine.”
“It makes me feel better.” I take a sip. Then a gulp. Then I down half the glass. This is how I’ve been drinking since we arrived at Tuscany, and we’ve only been here an hour.
Meaning, I’ve probably consumed a lot of alcohol in a short amount of time.
“Stel, can I stay the night at your place?” I ask my friend.
Stella, who is sitting across from me, nods. “Absolutely.” She shoots Eleanor a knowing look, and I realize these two have been talking about me.
They’ve all been talking about me. It’s why they’re here, rallying around me during my time of need. We did it for Caroline when things were going south for her and Alex, but now they’re going so well, we’re all secretly a little jealous. Maybe even Amelia is jealous, though she always claims she’s happy with her asshole of a boyfriend. But I see she’s sitting at the head of the table, sucking down the wine about as fast as I am.
Huh.
“What about Andie?” Eleanor asks. “Where is she?”
“At school right now helping out with end of school year stuff.” She’s on the student council in a leadership role, and that always keeps her busy. She likes being involved. I like it because it seems to keep her out of trouble. “She’s staying the night at a friend’s house.”
“Okay.” Eleanor pats my arm. “Just making sure.”
They’re worried about me, and I get it. I’d be worried about me too, if I were them. I haven’t heard from Jared in over a week. Over a week, people. He hasn’t tried to call me, or text me, nothing. No fun little gifts either. It’s like he was never a part of my life.
Ever.
When I’m working at Bliss, I half expect him to come walking through those doors in one of his sexy suits and demand I help him. I’d make a snappy remark, he’d snap right back, and then we’d fall into each other’s arms, Jared telling me repeatedly that he’s sorry, that he cares about me, that he’d fight for me no matter what happened, and I’d hug him close. Kiss him. Tell him all is forgiven.
Would I let him get away with it that easily? I shouldn’t. He is the type who needs to be called out for his bad behavior, and no one has ever done that to him. Not his family, not his ex-fiancée. Not any of them. The only one who seems to tell him he’s being a complete jerk is…
Me.
Still didn’t work, though.
The appetizers arrive and my friends switch into their actual seats, and I find Kelsey sitting next to me.
She’s the newest friend to our group. She’s Caroline’s boyfriend’s assistant, and Caroline brought her into the fold one night after some jackass dumped her. It happened right here at Tuscany. Next thing we knew, Caroline walked Kelsey over to our table, and she fit right in, like she belonged with us.
I really like her a lot. She can be quiet, yet sarcastic, and I have such mad love for sarcasm. Makes me think of Jared and how sarcastic he can be…
A loud sigh escapes me, and I shake my head when Kelsey tries to offer me a stuffed mushroom. “I hear you haven’t been eating,” Kelsey says just before she takes a huge bite out of that mushroom.
“I eat.” It’s a lie. I’m living on coffee mostly. Oh, and tonight’s wine. Maybe the occasional bagel.
“No, you really don’t.” Kelsey scrunches her nose just before she adds another stuffed mushroom to the plate in front of me, along with a slice of bread. My stomach growls at first smell of the fresh, warm bread, and without thought, I reach for it, tearing off a piece and stuffing it into my mouth.
Carbs are my weakness.
Carbs and sickeningly handsome men who don’t know how to be in a relationship.
“You ordered something for dinner, right?” Kelsey asks.
I nod. “I did, so stop trying to mother me.”
Oh Lord. Saying those words does me in. I’m crying, the tears streaking down my cheeks, my lungs aching from holding in the sobs. Kelsey notices and the shocked expression would almost be comical if I wasn’t so damn upset.
Rising to my feet, I run into the bathroom, Kelsey on my heels. I lock myself into a stall and perch on the edge of the toilet, gathering a wad of toilet paper so I can wipe the tears from my face and blow my nose.
“Sarah, I am so sorry.” Kelsey sounds upset and I feel bad for falling apart on her. It’s not her fault I’m currently in a fragile state. “I’m not sure what I said, but I feel like an asshole.”
Leaning over, I unlock the door and it swings inward, revealing Kelsey standing in front of my stall, and she looks miserable. “You’re not an asshole.”
She slides into the stall and locks the door, then leans against it, facing me. “I didn’t mean to bring up your mom.”
“You didn’t. I did.” I jab my thumb at my chest, trying to smile, but it’s weak. Doesn’t help that my face is splotchy—I don’t need to look in a mirror to know this—and my eyes are red from too much crying. I wish I could handle eye drops but I always blink right before I do it, so they never work.
“Yeah, well, I didn’t mean to upset you. I know this breakup has been hard.”
“See, that’s the funny thing.” I laugh. It’s the most pitiful sound I’ve ever heard and I stop. “Jared and I didn’t break up. It just sort of…ended before it ever began. Does that make sense?”
Kelsey nods. I wonder if she’s humoring me. Lately, I feel like I make no sense. “He doesn’t know what he’s missing.”
“I suppose.” I grab more toilet paper and blow my nose again. “What’s worse is I miss him. So much. It’s stupid. I guess he doesn’t miss me at all. That’s why he’s moving on with his life and not bothering to reach out, you know? He already forgot about me.”
“You haven’t reached out to him either, you know,” Kelsey says. She makes this weird face, like what she said just pained her. “I’m not trying to upset you. I just want to keep this real.”
“I appreciate that,” I say wearily. “And you’re right. I haven’t reached out to him either. I suppose I could.”
Just the idea of sending him a text or—oh God—going to his office makes my heart race so fast I’m afraid I’ll have a heart attack.
No thanks.
“Or maybe you say fuck that guy and never contact him again.” Kelsey’s lips thin into a firm line and she crosses her arms. What with that fitted black leather jacket she’s wearing along with the tight black jeans, I have to admit Kelsey looks like a badass bitch, and I have aspirations to be just like that. “He’s an asshole.”
“He is,” I agree. “Fuck that guy.”
“Yeah, fuck that guy!” Kelsey repeats enthusiastically.
We’re walking out of the stall together, both of us still yelling fuck that guy when the bathroom door opens and in walks…
Candice Gaines.
Of course, sweet, friendly Candice would catch me screaming obscenities about her brother.
And by the expression on her face, I’m guessing she knows exactly who I’m referring to.
“Candice.” I stand up straight, though I still feel a little wobbly. Too much wine maybe? “How are you?”
“I’m okay,” she says carefully, taking me and Kelsey in. She’s not smiling, which is so un-Candice of her. “How are you?”
“I’m all right.” I nod. Try to keep everything casual and light. “Oh Candice, this is my friend, Kelsey.”
They shake hands, nodding and murmuring all the right noises. I stand there at a loss, wishing I could hightail it out of there.
“Hey, so good to see you, Candice, but I have to go.” I turn toward the door, almost free, when I feel her tug on my hand, stopping me.
“Can I talk to you?” She glances over at Kelsey. “In private?”
 
; “I’ll leave you two alone so you can catch up. I’ll be at the table.” Kelsey smiles at Candice. “Nice meeting you, Candice.”
“You too, Kelsey.” She barely smiles at my friend, so I know something’s wrong. The moment Kelsey exits the bathroom, Candice places her hands on my shoulders, her expression dead serious. “I desperately need your help, Sarah.”
If this has anything to do with Jared, I’m going to scream.
“It’s about Jared.”
I take a deep breath and hold it. I can’t scream in Candice’s face. That would be a terrible thing to do.
“He’s been so awful since the weekend in San Francisco. He won’t talk to anyone. I slipped into his office, but he kicked me out. Me.” She rests both hands on her chest, and the shock on her face is obvious. No one dares kick out sweet Candice. She’s too damn nice. “I asked him what was going on with you two, but he refused to talk about it. I could tell my question upset him, though.”
My lips are pressed together tightly. I don’t want to talk about it either.
“You two ended it, huh? I knew it.” Candice’s face falls. I swear, she looks like she’s going to cry. “When I realized he never told you about Evelyn, I had a feeling something like this would happen.”
“He should’ve been honest with me,” I say, unable to hold back any longer. “I can’t be with a man who withholds information like that. I looked like a total fool in front of Evelyn when she talked to me.”
Candice is slowly shaking her head, her eyes sparkling…with unshed tears? Oh boy. “So you broke up with him?”
“Oh, come on. How can I break up with him when we were never in a real relationship in the first place?” I slap my hand over my mouth the second I realize my slip.
Whoops.
Candice’s eyes are so wide I think they might bug out of her head. “What in the world are you talking about?”
Guess I have some explaining to do.
Thirty-Eight
Jared
Fake Date Page 25