Thursday morning. Exactly ten days since I last saw Sarah. Talked to her. Smelled her hair. Kissed her perfect lips.
Fuck.
I enter my office and shut the door, glancing around the cavernous room with mild disgust. When I have a free moment, I’m calling the interior designer I used when I redid the office. I want it redone again immediately. It’s boring and lifeless. And if I have to stare at those A Study in Beige paintings one more time, I think I might rip them off the wall and throw them through the window.
Great. I sound like a lunatic even in my own mind.
Without hesitation I go to the walls and pull one of the paintings down, then the other, leaning them against the wall face first. There. Now I don’t have to look at them any longer. Maybe I shouldn’t use the same designer. I should find someone new. Someone who doesn’t think beige on beige is a good idea.
This is what my life has become. I can’t control the bigger things—like losing Sarah—but I can at least take control of the smaller things. Like the hideous art on my wall.
These last ten days haven’t been easy, not that I want to admit it. I went out of town for work for four days in Los Angeles, which was the distraction I needed. Not enough to stop me from thinking about Sarah completely, but decent enough.
Usually after ending it with a woman, I move on quickly. I have this amazing ability to compartmentalize my feelings. That might make me sound like a secret serial killer, but it’s true. Evelyn ended our engagement and once it was all said and done, I tucked her away into a mental box and sealed that lid tight.
The women in my life over the years—most of them didn’t even earn a mental box. They were forgotten. All it took was a good night’s sleep to clear my head.
So why can’t I get Sarah out of my mind? What makes her so damn special?
You know what makes her special. You just don’t want to admit it.
Sighing, I collapse into my chair, leaning over to tap at the space bar on my keyboard to fire up my iMac. The login screen appears and I enter my password, opening my inbox so I can check my mail.
I always hope to see something from Sarah. I don’t know why. She has my email from the customer records at Bliss, but we’ve never communicated via email before. Why would she start now? Wishful thinking.
My entire existence has turned into wishful thinking.
I’m about to check my voicemail for messages when my office door swings open and in walks my sister.
Great.
Blowing out a harsh breath, I stand. I don’t bother with niceties, I’m beyond that. “I can’t talk right now.”
“Oh, you are definitely talking right now.” She strides toward my desk, her pale blue skirt swishing with the movement. She’s adorable as usual, but there’s fire blazing in her eyes and I realize it’s all aimed at me.
“Candice, I don’t have time for this.” I sound weary. I feel weary. “I have a nine o’clock conference call I need to prepare for.”
“Good thing it’s not even eight yet. We have plenty of time to talk before you need to prepare for your stupid call.” She props her hands on the edge of my desk and leans in. “I found out your dirty little secret.”
I fall back into my chair, my gaze locking with hers. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“That you and Sarah weren’t in a real relationship?” She raises her brows and I open my mouth, ready to protest, when she cuts me off. “Don’t bother denying it. Sarah told me the entire sordid story.”
Holy shit. The entire story? To my sister?
“She’ll say anything to make me look bad, won’t she?” The words don’t sound right once they leave me, and I feel like an absolute asshole.
“Don’t even try to pin this on Sarah. She’s so upset, Jared.” This revelation gives me the slightest bit of hope. “And she’s so freaking mad at you, it’s not even funny. You need to make this right.”
My hope goes straight down the drain.
“She doesn’t want to be with me, so there’s nothing I can do to make this right.” I send her a look. “Besides, we weren’t in a real relationship, so why should I bother?”
“You are seriously the most frustrating man I’ve ever met,” Candice says, her hands bunching into fists. Like maybe she wants to hit me. “I was with you that night she tried on a thousand hideous dresses. I saw the way you looked at her, and the way she looked at you. How you were with each other. The chemistry was off the charts between you two.”
“So? Chemistry means nothing.” I scoff. Like a pretentious dick.
“Chemistry is everything. And you two had it. In San Francisco, I thought you two were going to attack each other in the back of the SUV on Saturday night. Don’t try to tell me nothing happened between you two, either. Sarah told me you hooked up multiple times.” Candice settles into the chair across from my desk, blowing out a harsh breath, like she’s annoyed.
Great. Sarah told Candice we had sex. Multiple times. This is awkward as hell. “It was just…a weekend affair.”
“Then why is she so upset over this? And why are you?”
I have no answer for her. And she knows it too, the brat.
“That’s what I thought,” she says when I remain quiet. “You like Sarah.”
“Do not.” I sound like a little kid and I press my lips together before I say something else that sounds ridiculous.
“You do too. Oh my gosh, you can fix this, Jared. I know you can! She still cares about you.”
“I thought you just said she’s mad at me.”
“No one is that mad and drunk if she doesn’t care about you,” Candice says. “And she was mad. And drunk.”
“She was actually drunk?” My curiosity gets the best of me. “Where did you see her anyway?”
“At Tuscany last night. She was with some friends. I even joined them. It was a lot of fun. She has a very supportive group of women who love her. They all want to string you up by the balls, too.” Candice frowns. “Well, only one of them said that. Stella, I think? Or Caroline? It doesn’t matter. They all kind of hate you.”
“Yet you’re hanging out with them.” I rub my forehead, already exhausted. And my day’s only just started.
“They were nice! They don’t hold it against me that my brother is an idiot who has no idea what he’s doing.” She smiles serenely. “But like I said, I can help you fix this.”
“Fix what?”
“Holy crap, Jared, are you dense? Fix your relationship with Sarah. She cares about you a lot. She doesn’t want to admit it, but I know it’s true. And I know just how you can win her back.” Candice settles in deeper in her chair. “I’m not leaving until you hear me out.”
“Fine.” I wave a hand at her. “Tell me how you think I can fix this.”
My sister rubs her hands together, and I know I’m in for it.
Time to work on my groveling skills.
Thirty-Nine
Sarah
It’s Friday. I arrive at Bliss at precisely eight o’clock, a full two hours before we open. Marlo and I are working on a new window display for our summer collection, and she asked that I come in early. We love getting creative with the window displays, and this is the perfect project for me to focus on so I don’t dwell on my problems.
Plus, working on the window display will help time pass, and since I have the weekend off—lucky me—I’m eager for my day to end and it’s only just begun.
Don’t know why I’m so ready for the weekend, considering I’ll end up doing nothing. Maybe Andie and I can go shopping. Or to the movies. Or maybe we could watch movies on Netflix. Binge a series. I know she needs to study and work on projects for her upcoming finals, so maybe she can do schoolwork and I can read.
I don’t know. It’ll be a lowkey weekend, just like all my other weekends for the last, oh what…three years? With the exception of my one weekend in San Francisco with Jared and his family.
Crazy, right? I barely know him, yet that weekend almost change
d my life. I add the word almost because we’re not together, so my life isn’t really changed. That weekend with Jared just altered things for a little bit.
Oh, who am I kidding? That weekend totally changed my life. Those few days with Jared, the past six months with Mr. Gaines, has ruined me. Ugh, I hate him.
I miss him.
The moment I walk into the back room, I see Marlo is already there, dressed casually in jeans and a black T-shirt. I’m wearing pretty much the same thing—my T-shirt is black with thin white stripes—and she smiles when she sees me. “You ready to work on the window?”
Neither of us will work the floor today. That’ll be up to Bethany, who’ll be in at nine-thirty, and another one of the part-time associates who’s scheduled later this afternoon.
“You know it,” I tell Marlo as I clock in. “We’re working on other displays too, right?”
“Yep. I have a feeling we’ll get a lot done, which we need. I think this weekend will be a busy one.”
“Too bad I’m not working,” I tease as I walk over to the stack of boxes that are full of new product. “When did this show up?”
“Last night, right before we closed. Maybe you could help out and open all those boxes for me? I guarantee there will be stuff in there we’ll want to use for our displays.”
I spend almost an hour opening boxes and sorting everything. Once I finish that, I spend at least a half hour steaming the more wrinkled pieces. There are more bras and panties with tiny stars strewn across them—black this time—and I think of Jared. I never did get to wear that teddy for him.
I should return it. The tags are still on it. The tags are still on the original bra and panty set he sent me too. I could use that cash. Heck, I could put it toward Andie’s college fund. Donated by Jared Gaines. Would he be pleased to know he’s helping my little sister further her education?
Probably not.
Hours later and we’re just about finished with the window display when Marlo gets a call. She’s on the phone for almost ten minutes, and I finish up our project, then go outside so I can see it in its full glory.
The window turned out great. There’s a dark blue background with tiny white dots that look like stars, and we hung silver glittery stars from the ceiling so they string across the length of the backdrop. We dressed the two mannequins we have on display in some of our more modest nightgowns so we don’t shock the tourists who pass by. One mannequin wears a black silk-and-lace negligee with thin straps made of silver stars. The other is clad in a silvery, shimmering nightgown with matching panties dotted with iridescent sparkles.
“How did it turn out?” Marlo asks as she exits the store.
“Really awesome,” I tell her. She stops to stand right next to me, the look of delight on her face telling me she’s pleased.
“You’re right. It’s gorgeous.” Marlo claps, bringing her clasped hands to just below her chin. “I love it.”
“I do too.”
“You should help other stores in the plaza with their displays sometime,” Marlo says, her voice casual.
I turn to look at her. “Why would I work with the competition?”
“They’re not necessarily our competition,” she points out. “No one else sells lingerie around here. And everyone admires my windows. The other managers and owners are always telling me how great they are.”
“That’s all thanks to you.”
“No, the windows are all thanks to you,” she says, nodding in my direction. “The last year or so, we’ve always gone with your vision.”
“Really?” People have actually complimented my window display concepts? That’s pretty cool.
Ugh. I thought the word cool. And it is the un-coolest word on the planet. That’s what I told Jared, at least. I really hate how he always pops up in my mind. Like, it’s the worst.
“Yes, really. Something to consider, don’t you think?” Marlo smiles.
“Won’t you have a problem with me working for other businesses here in the shopping center?” I ask.
“No, of course not. I don’t expect you to be at Bliss for the rest of your life, Sarah. Let’s be real. You’re a huge asset, but someday you’re going to grow your wings and fly right out of here.” Marlo squeezes my shoulder. “And that’s okay.”
I don’t know what to say. I’m flattered that other people have noticed my work. Maybe I should talk to other businesses around town. Oooh, maybe Lorenzo, Stella’s dad, will let me create a display for them. Though they already have such cute window displays most of the time, they get so much traffic that it would be a great place to start to show off my skills…
“Also, you have an appointment in an hour.” Marlo adds this little detail nonchalantly, like it’s no big deal.
“Marlo, really? Look at me.” I wave a hand at my dusty jeans and the smudge across my shirt. “I look terrible.”
“You are adorable.” She taps the tip of my nose with her index finger. “Don’t you have some extra clothes lying around in the stock room?”
The stock room is this cramped little space where we keep all the extra inventory. It’s more like a glorified closet. I usually do keep a cardigan hanging back there. I’m thinking I left my black blazer there too.
But I’m not in the mood to deal with people. Especially potentially picky new clients who might waste my time for an hour and then not purchase anything. It’s happened before.
“Can’t Bethany take the client?” I’m whining, but I can’t help it.
“She specifically requested you.” Marlo hooks her arm through mine and escorts me back to the front doors. “Let’s go inside so you can clean yourself up a little bit and get ready. You should take a lunch break.”
I don’t bother protesting. Arguing with Marlo gets a person nowhere.
Once we’re in the store, I lock myself in the employee bathroom and wash my hands, take one of the dry washcloths we keep in the supply cabinet and run it under water so I can wipe at the dust and dirt smudges on my jeans. We keep all sorts of extras in the supply closet, including deodorant and various scented body sprays, so I deodorize and spray on my favorite scent of the bunch, then grab my makeup bag from my purse so I can add a smidge of eyeshadow and slick on fresh mascara.
After I primp, I eat a quick lunch, help Marlo pick out a few things for the display table at the front of the store, and go to the stock room to find I do have a black blazer hanging in there. Slipping it on, I walk out into the store to see Marlo emerging from the dressing room area, where our private showing rooms are.
“Your appointment is here,” Marlo says with a pleasant smile. “Waiting in the first room for you.”
“Did she want to see anything in particular?” I don’t like going into these appointments without at least a little something to show them.
“She didn’t say.” Marlo walks past me, heading for the cash desk.
I look around in confusion. “Where’s Bethany?”
“At lunch. Don’t worry about her. I’ve got the store covered. Teresa will be in soon too,” Marlo says cheerily.
I guess there’s no getting out of this. I head for the front table and grab one of the new Celestial black bras off the table, along with a pair of sheer panties. I have no idea if the woman is looking for something like this. For all I know, it’s a bride-to-be looking for virginal white lingerie for her wedding night. I handle a lot of future brides as clients. Caroline sends plenty of them our way, since she is a wedding invitation consultant at a stationery store. That’s probably why this particular customer requested me. I’ll have to ask Caroline about it later.
I head for the dressing rooms, surprised there are no customers in the store. Though it is a beautiful day, the sun is shining, and I bet people are enjoying the weather. I know I’d rather be outside, enjoying the sun, walking by the ocean.
Maybe that’s what Andie and I can do this weekend. Take a walk. Or a hike. That could be fun.
Knocking first, I push open the door to find…
“Candice! What are you doing here?” I’m clutching the bra and panties in my hand, knowing full well I don’t plan on showing her the set. There’s something so…innocent about Candice. I know she’s a grown woman, right around my age, but still.
“Um, all I have to say is I hope you’ll forgive me.” She’s wringing her hands, her expression full of worry.
“What are you talking about?” I’m totally confused.
“She’s talking about me.”
That familiar, deep male voice sends a shiver down my spine.
I whirl around to find Jared standing in the doorway. Wearing one of his sexy suits. His hair is a bit of a mess, he has five o’clock shadow on his jaw and it’s nowhere near five, and he’s a little bleary-eyed.
He is the best thing I think I’ve ever seen.
My heart threatens to leap from my chest, but I tell it to chill the hell out. I need to hold on to my anger for just a little bit longer.
“What are you doing here?” I ask Jared.
“I brought him here,” Candice answers for him. She starts to exit the room, pausing to give me a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Please listen to him. I’m tired of seeing how miserable you two are without each other.”
She makes her way out of the room, Jared turning to his side to let her pass. She pats his chest and murmurs something to him before she leaves.
“What did she say to you?” I ask him once she’s gone.
“She told me not to screw this up.” He enters the room, pulling the door behind him, and I jump at the sound of the door clicking shut. “She was afraid you wouldn’t see me if I put my name down as your client. She called and made the appointment with Marlo.”
I might have seen him, but I won’t let him know that. “So you two tricked me.” Wait, the three of them tricked me, including Marlo.
“I tricked you because I wanted to talk to you, and I didn’t see any other way of doing it.” He leans his shoulder against the wall, keeping his distance, and I appreciate that. His presence already seems to overwhelm me. If he stands closer to me, I might do something stupid.
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