by A R McKinnon
"Can you tell me what you want out of a relationship together?"
Lucy swallowed the thickness that suddenly clogged her throat. "Going straight for the jugular huh?"
"I don't mean to." Grayson said, his mouth lifted into a sad half smile. "It's important that we both have realistic expectations, and a clear idea of what we want to get out of the time we spend together."
Lucy picked at a loose thread on her skirt, thinking, but also afraid to look at him.
"Stop. You’re fidgeting." His hand covered hers, stopping her movement.
"I don't really know how to put it into words." Lucy was quiet for a while before continuing. It took a conscious effort for her to stay still. It dawned on her in that moment how often she let nervous energy dictate her movements.
"I like when you take control, I find it very freeing. " She chanced a look at his face. The smile spreading across his lips made her heart feel as if it were tripping in her chest. It gave her the courage to meet his eyes when she confessed the rest of her feelings. "It's noisy in my head sometimes, hard to stop thinking too much. I've had the problem since I was young, but I didn't have to worry about that when we were together. I'd like to have that again."
What she didn't say was that sex with him was the best of her life. That when he fucked her, she could let go of the imaginary person she'd built to please her family and pacify the outside world. She didn't say it because it would be too revealing. She imagined it would feel like peeling back her skin a layer at a time
"Thank you for being honest with me. I know it probably wasn't easy. I don't think we'll have a problem recreating those feelings. I like control Lucy, crave it even. So, it works for me that you like yielding to my control. I don't expect you to call me Master. You aren't my slave. You have your own mind and your own thoughts. What I do expect is for you to put yourself in my hands. Once I've earned your trust, I expect you to have an open mind about everything we do, and submit to my desires."
Hearing him spell out how things would unfold between them made her wet with longing. If it had been one of her past lovers she would have leaned over and kissed him. She might have even climbed in his lap taking control of the situation, but given that they had just established that he wanted control and she was happy to give it up, Lucy sat staring at him indecision warring inside of her.
"If you're agreeable to that then we can see each other, though I do get busy some weekends."
"Could we keep things private between us?"
"Are you ashamed of wanting something kinky? A lot of people have seen you at the club. You’re already on the fringe of the lifestyle." Grayson's voice held a hard edge that sent a cold shiver down Lucy's back.
"No, nothing like that. It's just I prefer to keep my private life private. Keep things just between us. I mean it probably won't even factor in. I wouldn't even mention it but with Allison, Marcus, and Jackson being friends with you too, I just wanted to make my preference clear." Lucy hurried to finish because the look Grayson was giving her was cold and hard.
"Fine."
Lucy let out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. "Thank you, Sir." She slipped into the more formal speech pattern effortlessly and was pleased when Grayson seemed to thaw slightly.
"I have to check on one of the horses." He said, absently glancing at the clock on the wall. "Did you want to come?" Grayson stood without waiting for her response. Lucy realized that though he may have thawed, he wasn’t as warm as he had been when greeting her on the porch.
"Oh, OK sure." She agreed to go thinking that if nothing else it would at least distract her from her fear that she had messed up things between them before they even began.
GRAYSON TRIED TO ignore the resentment seeping into his thoughts. Julia had wanted to keep their affair quiet once she realized the darker sides of his preferences. It pissed him off that Lucy wanted to do the same thing.
The only reason that he didn't demand anything different from her was the explanation she'd given him. It was honest, and if he forced himself to be objective, he had to admit it made sense. Damn it! He didn't want to be objective and level-headed; he wanted to demand that she submit to him in a very public way twenty-four seven. She was a complete contradiction at times when they played, he’d swear she was experienced in the lifestyle, and in other ways she seemed so new to these types of desires. It was the only thing that pulled Grayson back.
"I'm sorry Darlin' I don't mean for you to ever think you can't be honest with me."
Grayson took a deep breath willing his body to relax. He had to go slow with her, he reminded himself. A dominant had to win the trust of their submissive in every action. Not just in the bedroom.
"There is just such a difference between what I should do and what I'm dying to do to you, that I'm having a hard time keeping up." Grayson said before turning to give her a chaste kiss. He kept it brief knowing that he had to focus on the horse.
Bellatrix was restless in her stall. She was showing all the signs of foaling and Grayson knew the time to call the vet had come.
She was one of his favorite horses and it made him a nervous wreck. Grayson found that having Lucy there was both extremely helpful and maddening at the same time. She did everything he asked following his instructions to the letter while he waited for the on-call service vet service to call him back, but just having her there drove him to distraction.
*****
"I'm sorry I kept you here so late Lucy." Grayson was drained, Bellatrix's foaling had taken longer than he'd anticipated, and it had taken the vet longer to arrive than he would have preferred. Now that it was all over, he was amped up and needed release. He wanted to find that release in Lucy, but didn't know how good his control was, and he wasn't sure if he could trust her to stop him if things became too intense.
"Are you kidding? That was amazing! My whole body feels like a live wire." She said as she bounced on the balls of her feet, peeking over the stall door at the new foal.
Grayson smiled knowing it was a predatory look built out of need, but unable to soften his expression. It froze Lucy mid sentence and caused heat to flare in her eyes. She licked her lips and his erection pulsed in his jeans.
"I can think of something far better for you to be doing with that mouth." He crooked his finger and she moved towards him.
"In here?" She asked before a nervous giggle escaped.
"Sure, why not? Bet you've never done it in a hayloft; I bet there's a lot of places you've never fucked."
WHAT WAS SHE supposed to say to that? Everything that came to mind sounded incredibly stupid, so she bit her lip to hold the words in.
"I'd like nothing better than to take you right now. Right here, hard and fast until you're screaming for me so loud that by morning all my neighbors know just how well I’ve pleased you." Grayson's voice had gone low and husky. It did wicked things to her until she couldn't think straight.
"Yes, please." She whispered and closed the gap between them letting her breasts brush against the hard plane of his chest.
"Unless you're not overly fond of that shirt I'd stop taunting me." He warned. Lucy repeated the movement teasing them both with her caress. The rending of fabric was loud in the stillness of the barn punctuated by her shocked gasp as her eyes went wide.
"I can't believe you just did that." Her tone was indignant, her body swinging like a pendulum between extreme arousal and utter dismay over his destruction.
Grayson caught her throat in his grasp, his thumb caressing her rapidly increasing pulse as it thumped in her neck. He drew her lips to his until their mouths met in a gentle caress.
"I warned you." He said before kissing her again.
Lucy stopped thinking about her torn shirt when he kissed her like that, and all the adrenaline from the last few hours came racing to the surface making her body tremble with the barely contained energy.
Lucy was surprised to find the ladder leading to the hayloft against her back. Grayson had manoeuvred
them to the spot between heated kisses so seamlessly that she hadn't even noticed.
When she would have turned to start climbing Grayson stopped her, lifting her until she balanced on the lowest rung.
"Spread your legs and hook your ankles at the sides to keep your balance." He said, as his teeth grazed the column of her throat.
Lucy positioned herself as he directed, calm settling over her as she let him take the lead. His hands went to the button on her jeans and the calm evaporated replaced with need. She needed to get closer, needed to feel him inside her. It was eating her alive.
"I know darlin'..." He whispered the words before his mouth was covering hers again, his tongue searching for hers. She opened for him, her lips parting and he filled her mouth as she longed for him to fill her body. "I feel it too. Just give me a minute." He said, pulling back from the kiss again. He wrestled her jeans down her legs barely requiring her to lift her butt from the wooden slat.
The delicate material of her panties made the same loud ripping noise her shirt had when he jerked it aside. Lucy only spared a moment’s thought for the expensive undergarment before Grayson snagged her attention again.
The metal clasp on his belt made a soft clinking noise as he undid it. The leather gave a soft whisper against the denim belt loops as he pulled it free. She heard the tear of the condom wrapper and moments later felt his fingers brush against the swollen lips of her sex as he guided himself to her entrance.
There was little finesse in his movements, showing his lack of control, but she loved it. Knowing he wanted her as badly as she needed him, made her own arousal flare hotter and brighter. Lucy met his gaze with an intent look of her own. She didn't look away as he flexed his hips forward and filled her, she couldn't. The connection of their locked eyes made her stomach flutter.
"Hold on to the step above you."
She curved her fingers around the smooth wood. "Harder."
Her whispered plea was the only green light he needed. Lucy held on tighter, her fingernails digging into the wood. She wrapped her legs around his waist, cradling him in between her thighs. He rode her faster until she came apart, shaking and screaming until she was sure that every neighbour he had really did hear her.
"I had intended for us to make it to the loft." Grayson said, chuckling. His tone was cocky, but Lucy was so satiated she couldn't bring herself to care. She let him carry her into the house and into his bed.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THE COFFEE WAS brewed the next morning, and Grayson had set out plates for breakfast when there was a sharp knock on his door. Thinking it could be the vet coming by to check on Bellatrix and her new colt he rushed to answer the door. He was disappointed to find Melanie instead of his vet.
"Grayson!" She gushed, her tone too bright and boisterous. Grayson cringed as she draped herself over him.
"Melanie, to what do I owe this unexpected surprise?" He asked, extracting himself from her grasp as quickly as he could.
She pouted, "I've missed you at the club. The guys say you haven’t been around much." She batted her eyelashes, and pressed herself against him.
Grayson cleared his throat, stepping away trying to be polite. Normally he'd have dealt with her type of behavior, but her being related to Jackson made things more difficult. When she ran her hand down his chest and lower all bets were off. He caught her wrist as she passed his belt buckle.
"Enough!" He put just enough force behind his tone that he saw the submissive shift play across her features. "You're being a brat. I put up with it longer than I would from most people because of my relationship with Jackson, but I've had it. This is a bad time. You weren't invited here, and you certainly weren't invited to touch me." He flung her wrist away from him in disgust.
Melanie's gaze darted behind him, before returning to rest on him again. "If I'm such a bad girl maybe you should spank me." She kissed him before pulling back and flashing a smug smile.
"Come spend some time with me at the club Grayson."
"Get off my property, Mel and don't come back." He closed the door between them.
"Friend of yours?" Lucy asked. Grayson turned and found her standing in the hallway. From her expression it was obvious she'd seen more than he would have preferred.
"We dated a few times. It's over but she's had a hard time letting go." Grayson ran a hand through his hair. "I meant what I said before about being exclusive while we're together."
LUCY BLINKED AT him, taking in his words. The man owned the hottest most prestigious club in the country. Haven catered to a wide variety of kink and sexual preference. She felt stupid for not considering that women probably threw themselves at him every time he was at the club
"What are you thinking?” He asked. She was embarrassed to admit that she was in awe of him. He was obviously successful here with the horses, and Haven was wildly successful. A true testament to its name, it was a haven for all manner of sexual desires.
“Just that it’s impressive what you’ve done here, and with the club." She knew her tone held the awe she was feeling but she couldn't keep her emotions from leaking into her voice.
"Yeah, try telling my parents that." Lucy could tell by the way he spoke he hadn't meant to say the words out loud. Lucy let the comment drift away without saying anything. She knew what it was like to be in difficult family situations. Thoughts of her mother's death suddenly caught her off guard and she felt tears prickle. Her mom dying had been the catalyst that had changed her life forever. In his grief her father had started drinking and gambling. They had lost everything until one day when she was eleven her father had dumped her with her aunt and never looked back.
Lucy's thoughts were taking a dark dangerous turn, so she forced herself to visualize something else and her thoughts returned to Haven.
"Maybe you’d let me come back some time? I mean, I know you revoked my membership..." As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she wished she could rip them back and swallow them. Grayson's entire expression became shuttered.
"We're keeping things private, remember? Playing at the club won’t be private."
Lucy nodded, trying not to feel stung by his cold reminder. "Besides we don't need the club we haven't even made it to my personal playroom yet." His teasing helped lighten the mood.
***
"Come to Jackson's family barbeque I haven't seen you since the wedding." Lucy had met Allison for a coffee break, during which Allison had bugged her relentlessly to come out with her.
"I thought Jackson didn't have much family." Lucy sipped her iced tea unable to shake the rundown feeling that had been plaguing her all week.
"Well, he doesn't have a relationship with his parents but there are a few aunts and uncles and cousins that he sees occasionally."
"Ah, well if it's a family thing I'd hate to intrude. Her throat was itching, her head pounding. It was Thursday and she was already thinking about cancelling her weekend with Grayson.
It had been ten weeks since Allison's wedding and they'd spent all but one of those weekends together, and although they talked about only seeing each other on the weekends, more often or than not they spent time together during the week too.
True to his word he'd shown her his playroom, and though she hadn’t been invited back to Haven, his personal collection rivaled what could be done there. She'd been particularly intrigued by the numerous ways he could restrain her. He always paid close attention to how tightly she was bound, careful not to leave marks or harm her. If she was honest with herself though, she could admit she enjoyed the few times that there had been marks. She'd covered them of course, but they'd still served as a reminder of him when they weren't together.
"Hey, earth to Lucy. Are you listening? Have you heard a word I've said?" Allison was eyeing her speculatively her drink half raised to her lips.
"Sorry Allie, I'm distracted and not feeling very well."
"What has you so distracted?"
Lucy blushed at Allison's question. There was no
way to hold it back.
"So, what happened after I gave you Grayson's number?"
Lucy choked on her iced tea making Allison smirk. "I guess that's why I haven't seen much of you since my wedding. I knew he’d talked you into staying with him the weekend of the wedding, but I didn’t realize you’d continued spending time together."
"This really isn't something I want to talk about now." Lucy tried to brush her off attempting to change the subject by asking about Allison's writing and then about work and in a final desperate move her grandfather.
"Nope, no way. Spill now. The guys are always talking about Grayson in hushed reverent tones, don't think for a minute I haven't heard about his tendencies in the bedroom." Allison winked playfully.
Lucy let her head fall into her hands. "Oh God! Can we please, please not talk about this right now?"
Allie let out a loud huff but thankfully let the subject go. "Fine, I've got to get back to work anyway, but this isn't over. You pumped me for intel when I started dating Marcus and Jackson. Don't think you're getting off so easy. I may be married to two men but I'm not dead. I'll get the juicy details from you eventually."
***
Lucy didn't go back to work that afternoon, instead she went home and crawled into bed. When she woke hours later the sun was setting, leaving her bedroom in twilight. Her temples throbbed and she was about to close her eyes again when the phone rang.
"Hello?" Her voice was scratchy.
"Darlin', did I wake you?"
"No, well not really." Lucy laid back on the bed and closed her eyes feeling drained. "I was laying down with a headache."
"I won't keep you then."
"No, stay. Please" His voice was soothing, she found comfort in the melodious tones. Lucy didn't want to think of how much trouble she was in. She didn't want to hang up because she missed the sound of his voice. She ignored the feeling of unease pushing it away. "How's Beau?"
She could hear the smile in his voice when he started talking about the colt. Lucy snuggled down in her bed listening to the deep timber of his tone.