by A R McKinnon
Edith pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose, and ignoring Grayson's statement, made to move around him again, but the man was like a mountain and he was more than effective baring her entry.
Lucy didn't want to let the wretched woman in her house. It was on the tip of her tongue to deny her. "How dare you! Let me pass. I’ve never experienced such behavior." Edith exclaimed. Lucy felt a momentary twinge of sympathy for her aunt having been on the receiving end of Grayson's stubborn resolve.
"Well you have now." Grayson placed a hand on Edith's arm looking over his shoulder at Lucy questioning her without words.
"Honestly Lucille, stop this nonsense."
Lucy let out a sigh, her shoulder drooping under the weight of her aunt's stare.
"It's fine." It wasn't, but she couldn't find the words to express the rioting emotions rolling through her.
She watched as Grayson reluctantly let her aunt past. She could tell he wanted to protest.
Edith came in and made herself at home, plopping her heavy frame down on the sofa as if she owned it. It jostled Lucy and she fought the cringe as her sore muscles protested.
"Shameful that you're living with a man out of wedlock, Lucille. I suppose everything I tried to teach you went to waste." Her aunts’ words sent a tidal wave of searing shame crashing into her body and she braced against it as if waiting for an actual physical blow.
"Please I’m not feeling up to company. Just say what you've come to say. There must be a reason that you're here.” Lucy tried to remember the techniques her therapist taught her to deal with these situations, but it was so much harder when faced with her aunt. Grayson's presence made it even more challenging. Lucy could feel him in the room observing every detail of their interaction soaking it all in waiting for her to say the word or give some signal to put an end to the charade.
"To wish you a happy birthday of course." Her aunt said as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
Lucy didn't dare look at Grayson. His anger had become palpable in the room tension among the three of them growing thick. She knew he would have questions as soon as Edith left.
***
EDITH WAS A horrible woman. Grayson felt guilty for thinking it, but it didn't change his opinion of her. She had only stayed forty-five minutes but in that time, she'd managed to pick at Lucy constantly. He watched her wince every time Edith called her Lucille, and he watched the woman's lips curve with cruel delight. It was clear the woman got off on exerting control over her niece. She was toxic and if it had been a member of his family, he’d have cut ties with them long ago.
"You weren't going to tell me it was your birthday, were you?" He asked, deciding to sidestep the issue of her aunt for the moment.
"I hate my birthday." It was all she said for a long while and Grayson thought she wouldn't continue.
Grayson realized she wouldn’t open up to him if he wasn’t willing to show her, he’d do the same. "Julia was important to me. At one time I thought she was the woman I would marry. She was a willing participant in everything we did together. She wasn’t in the scene originally; I didn’t tell her right away about what I liked sexually. She was indifferent at times, she used sex like a bribe or weapon. I toned down a lot of my own desires but eventually she was willing to try. She claimed to like the sex rough. She wanted things edgy. We played hard." He paused and looked at Lucy to gage her reaction to his words, but her face revealed nothing. He held her gaze. "We played very hard. I marked her up, but she always said she wanted it; she never safe-worded on me. In all our discussions she never said it was too much. She always begged for more." Grayson swallowed hard, bile creeping into his throat. "When things didn't go the way she wanted outside of the bedroom, she went to my family, covered in fading bruises and rope marks. She told them I beat her. She said that I tortured her, We, haven't really spoken since." He revealed the painful truth to Lucy. It wasn't everything he'd gone through with Julia, but it was a painful confession that he hoped would put Lucy at ease enough to share with him.
She was quiet, her eyes held a depth of sympathy he hadn't expected but appreciated regardless. Lucy shifted on the couch turning so that her head was cradled on his shoulder rather than her feet in his lap.
He liked the position and urged her closer, wrapping his arm around her so that his hand tangled in her curls. Grayson tilted her head back, but Lucy closed her eyes.
"My mother died of cancer when I was eleven. Less than two years later my dad had fallen into a life filled with drinking and gambling. He lost his job and then the house. We barely ate. Everything he managed to scrape together went to his addiction." Her voice had gone cold with the retelling and Grayson almost wanted to stop her. He ached for the child she had been, but he knew it was important to get things out, and this was what he'd wanted when he'd told her about Julia. So, he said nothing, cuddling her closer to his side and caressing her arm, his fingers playing with hers in the hopes of grounding her in the moment, while she shared her traumatic past with him.
"Before too long I ended up with my aunt Edith and uncle Bill. At first it was a relief. My dad was gone. I didn't know where, He dumped me on their doorstep like a stray dog." Lucy's voice caught and she squeezed her eyes tightly closed. "Edith was devoutly religious. It seemed everything I did was sinful. At first it wasn't horrible. I was a good kid. I got good grades in school and as long as I didn't wear anything too provocative or revealing she basically stayed off my case." A shudder ran through her and her eyes snapped open.
"You don't have to go on if you don't want to." Grayson could clearly see the conversation was taking a lot out of her. She was still too ill and weak to be going through much exertion.
"I'll listen if you want, but if it's too much, we can talk another day."
"No, I want to finish. Then I want to kiss you and never think about it again, ok?"
Grayson nodded and let her finish. This time she didn't close her eyes. She seemed to need the extra eye contact now.
"The real trouble only started when I started developing boys became a problem. My sexuality became an issue and I became the evil temptress who caused my uncle to stray from the righteous path. She liked to punish me for it, claiming I owed her penance. I left as soon as I turned eighteen, but it was four years I've spent the rest of my life trying to forget."
As she spoke, Grayson had grown angrier and more tense with each word, he wished he'd known this before Edith had set foot into Lucy's house, he never would have allowed the woman to cross the threshold.
"Did he -" Grayson broke off not wanting to finish the sentence knowing that if anything had happened, he'd have to rise from the couch, find the bastard and beat him bloody. He didn't want to ask but he needed to know.
"No, not what you're thinking." Lucy saved him from having to voice the concern. "I got really good about locking my door and keeping covered up. It was more his desire that she punished me for." She shuddered, "Let's not talk about it anymore."
She crawled into his lap and kissed him as she'd said she would. Grayson let her know instinctively that there had been enough explanations for now. She needed control in that moment.
Grayson was careful not to give her too much control, though. He wanted her to feel balanced and strong but not to forget the roles they had taken in their relationship together.
He cuddled her close to him, rubbing a comforting hand over her buttocks "I can't wait until you're better and I can dole out the punishments you've been racking up." He whispered the words against the seam of her lips before pulling away.
"Wait, what?" Lucy scrambled off his lap and stared at him with a careful look in her eyes. She was trying to see if he was serious or not, so he smiled just to throw her off."
"Are you shitting me?"
"Such language, and here I thought you were a lady. I guess that's another one to add to the count." He loved the contrite look that came into her eyes and let the grin tugging at the corner of his mouth spread fully across h
is lips.
***
SHE WANTED HIM to take her, but he'd been careful ever since she'd been sick. Tonight was the first night she was heading over to his house since she'd been in the hospital and Lucy hoped that by putting them back on his home turf, she'd re-establish the connection that they had been building.
Lucy parked her car in the long gravel laneway in front of Grayson's house. She got out of the car and stretched easing the tense muscles in her back.
She loved it here and if she wasn't careful, she'd start thinking of it as home. Already she had personal things here and she wasn't sure how it had happened, but she had an outfit or two in his drawers and her spare toothbrush now resided in the holder next to his.
There was something so domestic about that, and she'd had to make an extra therapy session, but had since worked through most of the issue. Almost- because if she was honest, she was still sneaking off to his house every weekend like a sex crazed teenager, leaving each Sunday, and it was only behind closed doors that they were together.
Lucy debated whether to go straight to the house or to head towards the barn. Her desire to see Beau won out and she made her way to the barn. Beau and Bellatrix were in a large stall together and barely registered her presence in the barn. She watched them quietly for a while letting her weight lean against the wall of their stall.
Lucy didn't hear his approach, so when Grayson's arms came around her, she couldn't stop her yelp of surprise. His deep masculine laughter rumbled though her as he pulled her against him.
"I wondered where you'd ended up when I saw your car in the driveway. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were dating me for my horses."
Lucy fought the urge to tense at his words, and snuggled into him as
continued to watch the horses together. They stood that way for a while before Grayson grabbed a length of coiled rope from a peg on the wall.
It was innocuous. Just rope, but she knew in his hands what the rope could do, the arousal it could create within her and the pleasure it could bring. Her breath caught in her throat as she remembered the heat of the sun soaking into skin the last time, he had restrained her.
They didn't speak as they crossed the yard and headed to the house. Lucy's heart thumped hard in her chest, her pulse beating a frantic rhythm. Her nerves made her rush and she stumbled across the gavel. It was only his hands that caught her and kept her from falling.
Grayson didn't let her go as she expected, instead he hoisted her up into his arms. "Hold on." Grayson issued the sensual demand against her mouth, his lips taking hers in a soft gentle movement.
His kiss reminded her of eating a fire pepper at first there was only warmth and it was tolerable. The heat that rose afterwards is what burnt the most. Lucy wrapped her legs around his waist, locking her ankles. The position left her rubbing intimately against him. Grayson rocked his hips maximizing the friction. Lucy moaned and he licked his way into her mouth before pulling back to whisper.
"I can't wait to be inside you." She moaned again and he bit into her throat, hard enough to leave the indentation of his teeth and make her gasp. Once they were inside Grayson kicked the door closed and pressed Lucy's back to the hard wood.
"I can't wait," he said again.
Lucy frantically shook her head. "Don't wait. Please don't wait." Lucy wiggled giving him as much access to the fastenings on her jeans as she could.
He had her pants down around her thighs and his jeans open and low on his hips. He shoved her panties aside pausing only long enough to roll a condom down his length.
She cried out when he thrust forward impaling her and pinning her hard. Her head thumped against the door making her grunt. That small show of pain seemed to bring him out of the sexual haze that had swamped them both.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
HE COULDN'T GET enough of her; she was the fever in his blood. It was only the loud thunk of her head against the door that cooled his desire long enough for him to think clearly. He didn't want to hurt her and pounding into her while her head slammed into the wall seemed a sure-fire way to do that.
Grayson shifted her in his arms, removing her shirt and then his own while carrying her to his room. It was an exercise in self restraint since he didn't withdraw from the warmth of her body until they reached the master suite. Once there he tossed her onto the bed, grinning when she bounced against the mattress and let out a squeal as she landed. He loved that she could be fun, but today he wanted something more from her.
He removed the condom he'd hastily donned knowing that if she agreed to what he wanted it would be a while before he'd need another. Grayson snapped the rope between his hands and watched her eyes widen. He watched heat flare in their depths, as she no doubt remembered the last time he'd bound her, but today he wanted more.
"Have you ever heard of Shibari?" He was surprised when she nodded. "Really? have you been researching?"
"No, not really. I went to the event at your club and my friend Anita is a photographer. She's done some photos with rope, but that’s it really."
"She has experience with rope bondage? It can be very dangerous if you don't know what you're doing." He knew his dominant personality was coming to the forefront, his experience taking over and causing his voice to harden.
"Anita has a friend who helps her with those types of shoots. He does the binding for her. "
"I see. Have you ever had this friend tie you up?" Grayson's jealousy flared hot and bright at the thought of someone else binding her, touching her and sensually restricting her movements.
"Oh, no. I couldn't. I mean it looks beautiful. I've seen pictures but I could never allow someone I didn't know that kind of intimacy. I could never give up that kind of control." Lucy shook her head, scattering her curls across his pillow in honey colored waves.
"Could you let me do it?” He watched her throat work in a hard swallow. "I've studied Shibari for a long time, it' s not without risks but I'd like to use some tying techniques on you, if you'd agree."
Grayson was rewarded with her outstretched wrists. "Oh no darlin' we're tying much more than your wrists today. "
He wanted to play and he wanted to play hard. He was still distressed that she hadn't told him she was sick, and he was upset over her leaving the hospital and he intended to put her over his knee for both safety infractions. Now that she was feeling better, he needed the D/s connection with her to center himself and restore balance to their relationship. He needed the reassurance that she was well and safe.
The heat never dissipated in her eyes when he told her what he wanted to do. In fact, if anything her desire flared.
Grayson worked the denim of her jeans the rest of the way down her legs before ridding himself of his own. Once he had her naked, he laid her face down on the bed.
"We'll start with a spanking like what we've done before and then we'll progress. If things become too painful or too overwhelming, make sure you use your safe words."
Grayson started out as he promised, delivering the spanking lightly, enjoying the moans and sounds of pleasure she was making in the back of her throat. He ran his hands over the taut flesh of her buttocks, relishing the heat that was resonating from her skin.
"Still doing alright?" He checked in, needing to know she was ok and still with him, enjoying their intimacy.
"Yes." Her tone was breathy, and she arched under his hand as if seeking firmer contact. Grayson grabbed the flogger that he had brought into the room earlier in anticipation of their play.
The flogger tails were made of suede and produced a thumping sensation against her back as he wielded it. Grayson planted his feet and let his hand fall gently testing the aim of his swing. It landed with practiced precision exactly where he'd intended.
Grayson started slowly letting the tails of the flogger fall in more of a caress, rather than with any real impact. Then when he thought she was ready he let his arm fall with more speed, snapping his wrist on the down stroke.
The suede ta
ils landed with a satisfying thump across her back and ended in a stinging kiss. Lucy let out her breath in a rush releasing a sigh and he knew then that the anticipation of the moment had been worse for her than the actual contact.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
HER SKIN WAS so warm she felt like her entire body was glowing. She'd lost count of how many times the flogger fell; she only knew that she felt mindless. She was disturbingly wet, her arousal leaving streaks down her inner thighs, she felt empty with such an intense craving to be filled that she was fighting the urge to dry hump the mattress.
She wouldn't though. Not until he gave her permission to move. Grayson had explained how he'd carefully chosen each area he would strike and when she'd wiggled, squirming with the need to give herself some relief he'd given her ass several rapid very firm swats with a wicked looking paddle before explaining the danger of him hitting somewhere he didn't intend.
"The only way out of this is to safe word. Or see your punishment though until the end."
That had shocked her Lucy hadn't realized he'd considered this punishment. She froze, her muscles going tense and he stopped.
"Do you want to use your safe word, Lucy." He asked, stepping back so they could look at each other.
Did she? Lucy took a moment to really think about it, and take stock of how she felt. She always enjoyed his spankings, feeling as if they grounded her and connected the two of them in a way she'd never experienced before. The flogger had felt deliciously deep awakening all her nerve endings, and once she'd gotten used to the feeling of the impact, she'd loved that too. The paddle was a different story. While it wasn't horrible it landed with a sharp sting and left her ass burning hot, but even that wasn't so bad.
"No, but I didn't realize this was punishment. Shouldn't I at least know what I did wrong?" Lucy hated that her voice came out sounding timid and afraid. It made her feel vulnerable, exposed and raw, but it seemed to bring out something in Grayson that he craved and somehow that made it easier to bear.