Bound for Love

by A R McKinnon

  She shrugged silently avoiding his question, but Grayson wouldn't let her get away with it. "Bullshit!" what happened?"

  Lucy crossed the room to stare out the window. Grayson followed close on her heels unwilling to allow her any further escape.

  "She used to punish me by locking me in an old cage.” The whispered words escaped. “She had it from when she had a big dog. If I was behaving in a way that she didn't approve of..." Lucy finally admitted. Grayson watched a shuddering breath work its way through her body. Her shoulders hitched and he suspected that she was holding back tears, but he couldn't be sure with her facing away from him.

  "You didn't safe word," he stated the obvious.

  "No."

  "Why?" he asked as he watched her shudder again. He'd had enough of her hiding, Grayson turned her to face him and nudged her chin up, forcing her to meet his gaze when she would have lowered her eyes.

  "We weren’t in a scene. You dumped me in the cage before I had a chance to process it. I thought I could handle it. Until I couldn't."

  "Why didn't you put something like that on your hard limit list? I never would have used the cage as a tool if I'd known." Grayson watched several emotions roll through her gaze before anger settled in.

  "I'm sorry Grayson, how was I to know that a cage was even an option?" Sarcasm and bitterness laced her tone. "Conventional relationships don't normally have a ‘don't lock me in a fucking cage, because I might lose my shit clause!’" She yanked out of his arms, and Grayson growled at the loss of her warmth and the intimacy

  "I told you when we started out that you had to communicate with me. I told you that what we were doing would push you and could be dangerous." He moved to close the distance that she had put between them and she let him. Grayson took it as a positive sign and steered them towards her couch where he could comfort her during their conversation, needing her close for his own comfort as well.

  WHY WAS SHE letting him coddle her? She was still angry, rage boiling inside her ready to erupt at a moments notice, but it felt good to be held. Lucy assumed it was a combination of pregnancy hormones and having grown accustomed to his after care following a scene. She loved the feeling of being in his arms. The safety and security that she felt when he held her was something she'd been unable to find in other aspects of her life.

  "I really did think I could handle it, and then everything spiralled out of control, and you were gone." Lucy picked at a loose thread on her pants needing something else to focus on besides remember how it had felt in that cage.

  "I screwed up." Grayson admitted while he stroked her hair. "I should have told you there was a way out. I shouldn't have been gone as long as I was. I screwed up Lucy, and I'm so sorry. It was a rookie move, it’s not an excuse but I promise you nothing like that will ever happen again." He rubbed a consoling hand down her back and kissed her temple before pulling the pregnancy test from his pocket. "We need to deal with the cage but can we talk about this now? I assume this is what you came to tell me about." Lucy watched as he placed the test on the coffee table between them and she swallowed the lump of fear that had risen in her throat.

  "I didn't think it would be a problem." Lucy squeezed her eyes shut afraid to look at him. "It was the antibiotics from when I was sick."

  She finally dared a glance in his direction, but his expression was unreadable, perfectly still and blank it gave away nothing. When he spoke, it wasn't what she had expected him to say.

  "When I was dating Julia, she got pregnant. It was everything I thought I'd always wanted but then she started pressuring me to give up BDSM. She didn't see a baby fitting into the lifestyle, and truthfully, I really didn't either. She kept telling me how unseemly it was to bring a child into such a violent environment. When she realized I was never going to be what she wanted, and would never live up to the ideal she had of what her life would be, she had an abortion." Grayson laughed but it was bitter and hollow. "I should have known then that she wasn't being genuine about the kind of relationship she wanted. I'd try for you though. If it was what you wanted, I'd try giving it all up. Especially after the awful mistake with the cage. I never want to hurt you."

  Lucy was touched by his declaration. She believed he'd do it too, but he looked miserable. She moved away from him slowly rising from the couch. She missed the confident in control look he always wore. Seeing him as he was now seemed wrong, even if it did make him more real to her. She knelt before him taking his hand in her own.

  "We don't have to do this together. I mean it was only ever supposed to be for fun. You've never said you loved me, or promised me anything. I wouldn't - "

  GRAYSON KISSED HER, stopping the words that were flowing out of her mouth. It was the only real way to stop her once she got going. When he pulled back, she looked stunned.

  "That was an error. I don't intend to make the same mistake again. You must know I love you, Lucy." She shook her head wildly and he kissed her again. "What did you think all this was then? The thrill of the chase? In case you hadn't noticed, you've been caught for a while now darlin'. I knew the moment I laid eyes on you spitting fire at Jackson and Marcus, demanding they take their heads out of their asses that I was bound to love you."

  "Really?" Grayson squeezed her tighter.

  "Don't you think you should be returning my declaration of love, rather than questioning it?" He knew he sounded vulnerable, but he couldn't keep the worry out of his voice.

  "I don't want you to change for me. I couldn't bear it if you were unhappy trying to be something you're not. Besides, you said once that I wanted more than just vanilla, and you were right. I can't go back now, and if I tried, I'd always want for more."

  "But, the baby-"

  Lucy placed her fingers against his lips, and he stopped trying to protest.

  "You can't go changing the rules on me now Grayson. None of that matters anyway. Do you honestly think we'd be the first couple the first parents to enjoy kinky sex? Honestly! Silly man, you're lucky you're good looking, you know?" She rolled her eyes at him.

  "I can still punish you." He felt compelled to remind her and smiled when her eyes widened with his threat. "Now tell me you love me too before I put you over my knee.” He demanded, only half joking as his anxiety rose.

  "I love you. I love you so much it ties me into knots."

  "God, I love it when you obey me." Grayson whispered the words against her mouth before claiming her lips.

  EPILOGUE

  IF SOMEONE HAD told him at the beginning of summer how insane his life was about to be, and warned him that it was going to feel like someone had his balls in a vice grip he would have said they were crazy. But now he couldn't deny the truth.

  Trouble around his property had stopped for a while before things jumped to the club. He had originally suspected the spa developers and a few people were taken in for questioning but now that the issues were expanding to Haven he wasn't so sure that the problems were solely due to the argument he'd been having with the land developers and construction crew. The police and fire department were launching a full investigation, but it would take time.

  Now he just had to convince the woman kneeling in front of the toilet that it was a bad idea for her to go to Haven, and that it was a far better idea to relax. His parents had invited them to their cottage. Things weren't fixed between them, not by a long shot. But it seemed that Lucy and their baby were far more capable at mending fences than he'd ever been.

  His parents had warmed to their relationship right away as soon as they'd learned that Lucy was expecting. They hadn't meant to tell anyone until well after her first trimester, but her illness had been so severe the few times they had all met for dinner or drinks that his mother had caught on instantly.

  "Oh. you poor thing." Grayson's mother had gushed over Lucy taking her by the hand and leading her to the den. "Here put your feet up sweetheart. I'll bring you some tea. Don't you worry it will pass. I was the same way with this one." She poked an accusatory thumb in
his direction while settling Lucy on the sofa. "It will pass sweetheart. I promise."

  Grayson hoped Lucy would want to spend time with his family and settle into relaxed routine during her pregnancy but more than ever she seemed bound and determined to spend more time in the club insisting that she needed to learn more about being submissive. Thankfully, her morning sickness, which seemed to strike at all hours was horrendous and had kept her from truly pursuing her goal.

  "God, I hate when you insist on coming in here with me to do that!" She snapped, her green complexion paling as she leaned on her haunches.

  "I can't leave you suffering alone darlin'" He almost wished he could. Her moods had been horrible lately and the fact that he refused to engage in anything more than light bondage when they made love had her being a brat on top of the moodiness.

  He helped her stand, and Lucy made her way to the sink to rinse out her mouth. He eyed her reflection in the mirror thinking she'd lost a little more weight. Her morning sickness had been taking its toll, and it showed no signs of letting up any time soon. The stress from having to look over their shoulders all the time was wearing them both down.

  "I don't see why you're being so pigheaded about this!" She lashed out at him, tears glittering in her eyes.

  Grayson sighed heavily, willing her to understand "Lucy, honey I need to keep you safe. The club isn't the place to do that now. Wouldn't you much rather spend some time being pampered by my mom? I promise when I speak to Jordan again, I'll discuss having you at the club, but until he gives the all clear it's better if you stay where you will be safe." The fact that Jordan was a club member and on the arson investigation team, made Grayson much more confident that Jordan would air on the side of caution and declare it unsafe for Lucy to be anywhere near the club.

  Lucy spun on him and for a moment he saw the familiar fire in her eyes. She was itching for a fight. Shackling her wrist in an all too familiar grasp, he tugged her towards him sweeping her off her feet. Grayson carried her back to his bed.

  He placed his hand over the delicate, slight mound of her stomach where their child grew knowing that he'd do anything to keep them both safe. His entire world centered around the woman in his arms and the child they had created together. He was tied to them, bound to love them for the rest of his life.