by Morgan James
She nibbled her lip, the white of her teeth against her berry-red mouth almost his undoing. He thought for a moment that she would ask, but she chickened out at the last moment and changed the subject.
“I just... I don’t understand. Why are you here?”
He canted his head at her. “I was making rounds when I heard you.”
She let out an exasperated huff. “I know that. I just meant, you know, why are you here?” She gestured between them, her voice wavering with apprehension.
Blake couldn’t do anything except answer honestly. “I saw you there and I knew I couldn’t just leave you like that.”
Victoria pulled out of his embrace and wrapped her arms around herself, steel infusing her voice. “I don’t want your pity, Mr. Lawson.”
“Doc, pity is the absolute last thing you’d get from me.”
She studied him for a moment before nodding. “Well then, I suppose I should thank you. If you’ll excuse me, I need to head home now. I have an early day tomorrow.”
It was a lie—they both knew it. She was in here every morning at nine a.m. sharp, with her first appointment usually beginning at ten. Wordlessly, he held out the stack of files, and her gaze flicked to his before she pulled them from his grasp. Turning away, she stowed them in the filing cabinet, collected her purse from the bottom of her desk, and checked each drawer to make sure that everything was locked up tight. She glanced back at him, her mask of indifference firmly back in place.
He bit back a curse. “Would you like me to follow you home?”
She straightened her dress and swept her hair back into a semblance of order before speaking. “No, thank you. I’ll be fine.”
Blake nodded. “See you tomorrow, Doc.”
Fuck. He couldn’t let her leave like this. If she walked out the door now, he’d never see her again. He wasn’t willing to sacrifice the progress they’d made this evening. This one shared moment wasn’t enough—he wanted more. He refused to allow her to go back to dodging him, his sightings of her like a specter, elusive and unobtainable. He watched her stride determinedly toward the door before speaking again.
“What about my thank you?”
Confusion clouded her steely eyes. “I did thank you.”
“No.” He shook his head. “You said, ‘I suppose I should thank you,’ but you haven’t.”
“Oh. Well. Thank you.” She cleared her throat uncomfortably as he took a step toward her.
“Come on, Doc, I think you can do better than that.” His gait was slow and measured as he approached her.
“I... What are you doing?”
He was in front of her now, staring into those magnetic gray eyes that drew him in. “I want a proper thank you.”
His hands went automatically to her hips, his long fingers curving over her bottom as he pulled her toward him. She came willingly, albeit dazedly, as if she’d never experienced the intimacy of a man’s touch. A feeling of possessiveness washed over him at the thought. One hand cupped her bottom as he pulled her flush against him, while the other coasted up her body to cradle her jaw in his palm. Releasing her eyes, his gaze dropped to her lips and he bowed his head, catching her mouth with his. He kissed her gently at first, experimentally, waiting for her to pull away.
She didn’t. His heartbeat kicked up when, instead, her arms came to rest on his shoulders, her fingers sliding around his neck, lightly brushing the hairs at the base of his skull. She tugged him toward her and he happily obliged, deepening the kiss. Her lips parted, allowing him entrance to taste her, to take the lead. She seemed unsure of how to react to his attention and he almost smiled. Certainly she’d been kissed before but if she felt at all the way he did, then he could understand her delirium. She literally took his breath away. The fusion of their lips was intoxicating, and he allowed their passion to sweep him away for a moment, mindless with pleasure as she melted against him.
Sweeping his tongue across hers, he buried one hand in her hair, cradling her head. Kissing for him had always been a necessary evil, a form of foreplay before sex. But this kiss, with this woman... he couldn’t get enough. Every touch of his lips to hers swept him further from reality to a place where only he and Victoria existed. His lips left hers to trail over her cheek and down the line of her jaw. Nipping her bottom lip, he flicked his tongue soothingly over the plump, swollen flesh.
His senses gradually returned as his gaze flitted over her beautiful features, her eyes closed in ecstasy, mouth parted slightly as if ready to receive more kisses. She still clung to him and he could feel every inch of her where she pressed against him from knee to chest. He could pick her up right now and carry her to the couch, make love to her, but that wasn’t what he wanted. Their first time needed to be in a bed, somewhere he could spend an obscene amount of time worshipping her.
Blake slowly eased her away, and Victoria blinked sensually at him, the gray depths still glimmering with lust. He knew it would only be another moment or two before reality intruded and she’d pull away from him. Placing a kiss on her forehead, he ran his hands over the expanse of her back.
“That was one hell of a thank you, Doc. I hope you’ll still feel indebted to me tomorrow because, to be entirely honest, I’m really looking forward to doing it again.”
Victoria’s cheeks flamed red even in the dim light, and he couldn’t help the smile that curved his mouth. Her hands had slipped down to his biceps and she took the tiniest step backward.
“I... I should get going.”
He watched her for a moment. “Want me to walk you out?”
Her head shook briskly, causing more tendrils of hair to fall loose around her shoulders.
With a gentle brush of his fingertips over her cheek, he tucked the strand behind her ear. “All right. Be careful.”
She nodded but refused to meet his eyes as she shifted her purse back into place. “I will.”
“Night, Doc.”
He was drawn to the hypnotic sway of her hips as she hurried from the room, and a grin broke over his face. The shy little doctor was so much more than he could’ve ever imagined. The icy façade hid a fiery, passionate woman, and he couldn’t wait to see what else lay beneath the surface.
Chapter Eight
Victoria strode into the welcome air conditioning of the small bistro, her eyes scanning the tables before landing on her friend at the back of the restaurant. Kate sat tucked away in a corner booth, bright afternoon sunlight spilling over the table, glinting off her auburn hair. Feeling Victoria’s gaze on her, Kate looked up and waved, a smile on her pretty face. Her friend’s infectious smile was impossible not to return, and Victoria felt an answering grin tugging at her mouth as she wound her way through the tables to greet her friend.
Kate stood and pulled her into a hug. “Hey, I’m glad you could make it.”
Victoria gave her an affectionate squeeze before releasing her and sliding into the booth across from Kate. “Me, too. It’s been a little crazy recently.”
A look of concern crossed her friend’s face. “So I heard. What happened?”
Victoria relayed the details of the past couple of weeks until they were interrupted by the waiter. The small diner was a regular lunch spot for them, and he took their orders with a knowing smile as they rattled them off. Victoria resumed her story as the waiter turned to leave.
“Anyway, Johnathan brought up a good point. He suggested it might be a good idea to have some extra security at the healthplex until we figure out what’s going on. He even suggested I start dating again.”
“And, of course, Johnathan thought it should be him,” Kate interjected with a roll of her eyes.
“He just wants me to be safe.”
Kate snorted. “Please.”
“He’s... protective,” she hedged.
“Jealous.” Kate raised an eyebrow, and Victoria sighed.
“He asked me again about joining his practice.”
Kate gasped, her eyes widening to the size of saucers. “Please tel
l me you said no!”
“I told him I’d think about it.”
“Vic...” Kate trailed off as Victoria held up a palm.
“I know what you’re going to say. I have no intention of joining with Johnathan, either in my professional life or personal. But it shut him up for a while.”
Kate studied her for a moment before heaving a sigh. “Look, Johnathan seems nice enough, but he’s obviously infatuated with you. He follows you around like a puppy yearning for your approval.”
Victoria knew that, if she encouraged him, Johnathan would be more than happy to pursue a relationship with her. He was always inviting her to dinner, to the opera or a new art exhibit. Which wasn’t a bad thing—if he could accept the fact that they’d only ever be friends. Victoria was pretty certain, though, that he would be harder to dissuade than most. It bothered her sometimes that he thought he knew what was best for her. He was a nice person, and he was a great doctor, but Victoria felt no intimate attraction to him.
“Why don’t you just tell him how you really feel and put the guy out of his misery?” Kate asked. “Otherwise, he’s going to keep hoping that one day you’ll give in and finally go out with him.”
And therein lay the crux of the problem. “I’ve tried to tell him. Or, at least, I’ve dropped subtle hints about not dating friends and coworkers.”
Kate laughed derisively. “Men don’t do subtle, honey. You’ll have to just come right out and say it. Or better yet”—she raised her water glass in a kind of mock salute—“start dating someone else.”
To give her hands something to do, Victoria picked up her own glass of sweet tea and drew little designs in the condensation coating the glass. The fidgeting was not lost on her friend, though, and Kate’s eyes narrowed on her.
“Okay, spill. Something’s going on, I can tell.”
She squirmed, blushing under her friend’s scrutiny. She’d known Kate since her sophomore year of college, and her friend knew every detail of her sordid past. Kate understood Victoria’s outlook, though she still encouraged her to get out and meet people. Aside from Victoria’s two semi-serious relationships in college, she’d only been on a couple dates since opening her own practice. The dates had felt stilted and awkward, and after the third dinner spent mostly in silence, she’d begun to think she’d never feel truly comfortable with a man. Until she met Blake.
“So, you know the new security guard that Benny called in?”
Kate gave a dreamy sigh. “Oh, yes. That man is gorgeous.” Her eyes widened as she glanced back at Victoria. “Oh, my God! You like him, don’t you?”
Kate bounced excitedly in her seat and Victoria laughed. She opened her mouth just as the waiter stopped by their table to deliver Kate’s turkey club and Victoria’s salad. After the man left, Victoria speared a piece of lettuce and raised her eyes to her friend. “Well, do you remember me telling you about Rachel?”
Sympathy lit Kate’s gaze, and she rested a hand over Victoria’s. “Yes, I’m so sorry about that. How are you doing, by the way?”
Victoria shrugged. “Better. I’m still disappointed, in both her and myself.” She waved away Kate’s look of concern and continued. “But I’m coming to terms with it. I can’t help everyone, but I can try to learn from my mistakes. Hopefully, I can better help the next person.”
“Good for you. I’m glad you understand it wasn’t your fault.”
Victoria swallowed a bite of her salad before clearing her throat. “Anyway, after her service I went back to my office. I was upset and Blake—the security guard—found me. We talked for a few minutes and...” She blushed profusely and dropped her voice. “We kind of... kissed.”
Kate beamed. “Really? It’s been a long time since you’ve been interested in a guy.”
“He asked me out.”
“And?” Kate stared at her expectantly. “What did you say?”
“Well...” Victoria glanced out the window and watched a bird flit from bush to bush in search of food. She finally turned her gaze back to her friend. “I’ve kind of been avoiding him.”
“Oh, good Lord, girl.” Kate sighed theatrically. “You like him, don’t you?”
At Victoria’s tentative nod, Kate continued, her voice more serious this time. “I know it’s hard for you to trust guys. I’d probably feel the same way if I were you. But that was a long time ago. Maybe it’s time to move on. If you really like this guy—Blake—why not go for it?”
It was the same advice Johnathan had given her. Except, in his case, Johnathan had obviously thought that he should be the logical choice, not someone else. But Blake made her feel things. What, exactly, she wasn’t sure, but she wanted to find out. He’d been a complete gentleman and, though she’d felt his eyes following her the last few days, he hadn’t pushed her. She’d caught glimpses of him from time to time as he patrolled the building. He moved with a lithe grace, and there was a fluidity to his movements that belied his size. Just the thought of him made her blood heat.
“I don’t know. I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”
The morning following their encounter, she’d walked into her office and found a note on her desk. A phone number had been scribbled along the bottom under the words “Debt Collector.” It had made her smile, and she’d tucked it in the top drawer of her desk, only to pull it out several times this week.
She wished she had the confidence to do as Kate said and take what she wanted. She’d hidden a part of herself away for so long she wasn’t sure she even knew how to be a desirable, attractive woman. She knew the relaxed, dark suits she wore didn’t look good, but they were comfortable. And safe. They provided a layer of protection between her and men who only wanted sex. Most men couldn’t see beyond the baggy fabric to the person she was underneath. Except... Blake had. He’d been the first man to look at her—really see her—in a long time.
“I’ve been thinking I might go shopping,” she said slowly. “Maybe get some new clothes.”
Kate was silent as she regarded her for a moment. “For you? Or for him?”
Victoria spine tightened defensively. “I want him to like me, but... I’m doing this for me.”
“I understand.” Kate nodded. “I think that dressing in something more... flattering... will go a long way to making you feel better about yourself.”
Victoria tried to push down the hurt she felt at her friend’s comment. “I know.”
“It’s been almost ten years,” she said softly. “Maybe it’s time to stop hiding.”
It was true; she had been hiding. She’d closed herself off for so long that she’d forgotten who she really was. But she was tired of being restrained, defined by her past. The idea of moving on, putting it all behind her, was scary and exciting all at the same time. Years ago she’d been confident and happy. She wanted to be that person again.
“ARE YOU SURE THIS ISN’T too tight?”
“Are you kidding me?” Kate walked a circle around her. “Women would kill for a body like yours. If I had half the curves you do, maybe my husband wouldn’t have cheated on me with that little blonde bimbo.”
Victoria laid her hand on her friend’s arm. “I’m so sorry.”
“Why?” Kate shrugged. “It’s really a blessing in disguise. I was young and dumb and getting married was a mistake. It took me a while to realize it, but we’re both better off.”
“Is he being a jerk about it?”
“A little bit, but my lawyer is a total shark and the proceedings are going really well. We’ve determined that Steve’s going to buy out my half of the house and I get to keep Peanut,” Kate said of her tiny Bichon Frise. “We’re still negotiating what to do with the practice. I’ve worked too hard to get where I am today to let him take that away, too.”
“Is it uncomfortable working together?”
“Not terribly. We’ve scheduled our appointments so we work opposite days. That way we don’t have to run into each other.”
“So there’s no chance of reconciliation?”
Kate and Steve had been together for years, since undergrad. Victoria couldn’t imagine just walking away from someone she’d once loved.
Kate shook her head. “We both know where we stand. Of course, it helps that the bimbo is knocked up.”
Victoria sucked in a breath, her hands flying to her mouth. “Oh, my God! You never told me that.”
Kate lifted one shoulder in a nonchalant shrug. “I just found out about it myself. He’s planning to marry her as soon as the divorce is finalized.”
Her friend hid her hurt well, but Victoria could see the pain in the depths of Kate’s clear blue eyes and her heart went out to her. She’d been by Kate’s side since the beginning and she couldn’t help but feel bad for her despite her friend’s brave face. She prayed she never had to go through that.
With that thought in mind, she turned back toward the mirror in the dressing room. Was this whole endeavor even worth it? Was dating worth all the effort if she might one day end up like Kate and Steve?
Kate patted her shoulder and shot her a reassuring smile. “Thank God we’re older and smarter now. You won’t make the same mistake I did.”
Victoria’s lips tipped into a tight smile as she examined herself in the mirror. The beige pencil skirt clung to her curves and ended just above her knees, and the white blouse accentuated her waist while still looking professional.
“Trust me, this is perfect,” Kate continued. “We need to get you out of drab, dark colors. You need something neutral to show off your natural beauty.”
Victoria let out a soft snort and rolled her eyes. “What natural beauty?”
Kate smacked her arm and jerked Victoria’s shoulders back so she stood straighter. “Look in the mirror,” she ordered. Victoria did as she was told. “Your hair is gorgeous. It’s never been dyed, and it contrasts beautifully with the cream top. The gray of your eyes really pops when you’re not in all black.”
Kate stepped in front of her. “We’re not here to change who you are, only to enhance what you’ve been hiding for years. You have amazing features, Vic. You just need to believe it.”