Her attire, though, has me wondering if we have a courtly fairy spy in our midst. I narrow my eyes, watching her closely, and she meets my gaze and gives me a pursed smile.
She says not a word until everyone has arrived. “Greetings. I am Professor Luna, your instructor for Illumination. This class will help you all greatly. At least, that is my hope. You see, illumination is about opening the mind, the spirit. All of you should have had the course Astral Projection already, yes?”
Everyone nods or murmurs assent.
“This course is the next step above Astral Projection. In some ways, the two are related, but instead of separating your soul and consciousness from your body, you will look deeper into yourself. You will see yourself for who you truly are, and that is a rare gift. If you can learn who you are, you can see your limits, your strengths, and your weaknesses. You can even turn your weaknesses into new strengths. Growing, developing, changing… that is what life is about. As long as you continue to adapt, you are truly living. It is when you stop bothering to better yourself that you start to die.”
I listen to her, raptured. This is what I so desperately need. Maybe once I learn who exactly I am, I’ll be able to determine what I want to do in the future, and I can figure out what profession I should pursue.
Weeks pass. My classes are starting to become harder, and it's frustrating that I no longer have a lunch break. My first year, I had three classes and then lunch, followed by my last two classes. During my second year, I had two classes then lunch and the rest. Since I'm taking six classes, I have classes all the way through without a break. It's tiring, and the extra workload isn't fun, but I'm managing. My social life isn't as active as I would like it to be, unfortunately, but what else can I do? I have to get good grades this year, and I need to figure out my future beyond which guy I want to be with.
Classes all day, homework, projects, and practice all evening long… I barely have time to eat dinner before I drop into bed, exhausted. Most nights, I’m so tired that I don’t dream at all.
Not tonight, though.
Right from the start, I know it’s a dream because Sage and I are in my parent’s house. I’m giving him a tour. Mom and Dad aren’t around. I’m not sure where they are.
Of course, he asks to see my room, and I’m shy but more than willing. We’ve been holding hands this entire time, and I squeeze his hand and try not to freak out so my palm won’t get sweaty. We’ve done this before—both in real life and in dreams.
My bed looks inviting. It's the first thing I see as soon as we enter my room. My gaze shifts to Sage to see if he's looking at it too, but his gaze is firmly fixed on me. The strangest sensation flutters in my stomach, and I smile up at him. I'm ready. I want this. At this moment, for right now, he's the one I choose.
In the back of my mind, the part of me that recognizes this is a dream realizes that I’m just choosing him now, that I’m not ready to make a decision out of here… or am I? Is my subconscious mind trying to tell me something? Because I am so happy here, with Sage’s mouth on me. While his hands are cupping my face, I’m the one reaching for his clothes, tugging them off, wanting to touch more of him, to feel his skin on mine once again.
We glide over to the bed, and I push Sage down. This is about me and picking him, and I want to be the one in control. I remove my dress. Yeah, this is definitely a dream because I never forgo a bra and panties, but I’m naked in that one move. Sage’s eyes grow wide with appreciation, and I don’t feel embarrassed or ashamed. Instead, I feel empowered, and I love that so much.
I line us up and sigh contently as I merge us together. This is right. This is perfect.
No.
This is wrong.
I’m not even sure why, but I back away from him, shaking my head, my mouth falling open, but no words come out. Sage comes to me, reaching out with his hands and trying to comfort me, but I shove him away.
“I can’t,” I say, the words bursting out of me even though I’m terribly confused, not even sure why I’m saying this. “I can’t do this anymore.”
Sage doesn’t say a word, but his eyes say it for him.
I’ve just broken his heart.
The scene shifts. I’m not in my room. I’m on campus, in the cottage I share with the others. In that all-knowing way of dreams, I know I’m here alone.
Alone except for Damon.
Without warning, he’s in front of me, dressed. The next second, he’s behind me and naked.
Then I’m naked too without taking off my clothes. Wait. Did I have clothes when the dream shifted to the cottage? I don’t know, but something is weird. The dream had been so fluid and natural with Sage, but now it’s disjointed and awkward. I’m having sex with Damon, but it’s jerking around, in one position and then another the next second, with no transitions, and it just doesn’t feel good, doesn’t feel right.
With a jerk, I wake up. I sit up, gasping, and jerk back, startled. There’s a dark form in my room.
A form I recognize.
The shape of my sister.
Bay.
My eyes widen, and I zoom over to her, pressing my finger into her shoulder again and again.
"You entered my mind, didn't you?" I ask, remember just in time not to shout, so I don't disturb anyone. "You infiltrated my dream!"
“It’s no big deal,” Bay says easily. “I just thought—”
“I thought that you would respect me enough to allow me the decency to let my subconscious determine my dreams. You had no right to try to influence me one way or the other!”
“I didn’t mean to upset you,” she protests. “Seriously, I didn’t. I just…” Her shoulders slump. “I didn’t think you would get this upset.”
I glower at her. “‘Wouldn’t get this upset,’” I repeat. “You know what that means, don’t you? That you knew I would get upset?”
“Yeah.” She blows out a breath. “I just… I was wrong. No excuse. I shouldn’t have done it.”
“Why did you? It’s kinda disturbing for you to have changed my dream to be a sex dream.”
“No. You and Sage was your subconscious. I just shifted over to Damon.”
I eye her.
“Your subconscious mind picking Sage doesn’t mean anything,” Bay says.
“Doesn’t it, though? I had other sex dreams involving them, and Sage is almost always first.”
“Maybe that’s just because you had sex with him first. Only fair for Damon to have his turn.” My eyes have adjusted to the darkness enough that I can see Bay wink.
“Ladies, I love you all, but shut up,” Orchid mumbles.
Bay and I start to giggle. Orchid is clearly still half-asleep because she does not love Bay, but the smiling and laughing have me forgiving her. Bay's learned her lesson. She won't enter my dreams again. Now, might she do it to someone else? Possibly, but so long as I'm off-limits, I won't tell her what to do.
Hmm. When I go back to sleep, will I start to have another sex dream? Who will it be with this time?
Chapter 10
As it turns out, I don’t have any more dreams that night, and I’m more than a little tired when it’s time to get up. I sometimes try to do a quick fly through the food tent to grab something I can eat between some of my classes, but I don’t bother to today. I just want to get all of my classes over with so I can maybe take a nap before dinner. I’ll be starving, yes, but if I wait to nap until after I eat, I’ll most likely end up sleeping until tomorrow, and that’ll make tomorrow a bad day because I’ll be beyond on my work. Fire and brimstone!
I manage to get through classes and head back to the cottage, yawning the entire flight. As soon as I enter, Bay pounces on me.
“So… when are we going to go on a double date already? I’ve been waiting and waiting and waiting, and I think it’s past time that us twins have our day of fun with some boys.”
I eye her. Vaguely I recall her once talking about heartache or heartbreak. That had been before Zoth. Who broke her heart? W
hy didn't she introduce me to that guy? Clearly, she hadn't been worried about double dating with him, whoever he was.
“Come on,” she begs. “You aren’t still upset about last night, are you? I’m sorry. I won’t ever do that to you ever again.”
“I’m not upset,” I say slowly.
"Well, then? How about this weekend? Zoth and I will treat. You just have to pick out what to wear. Oh, and which guy to bring." Bay giggles.
She’s so very happy that I can’t tell her no, but I also can’t pick just yet. A double date would give the wrong impression, that I’m picking that guy over the other.
For the past few weeks, neither guy has pushed, and I’m friends with both, friends with feelings. More like Feelings with a capital F. But they’re good about it, which makes me feel good that I picked such great guys, but it also makes me feel like a tramp for tying them both up. Loving them both is slowly killing me.
Yes. I love them both. That’s why I haven’t been able to decide yet. I’m a terrible fairy. Definitely not the lightest of them all.
Bay’s patiently waiting for an answer. I don’t want to let her down, so I say, “This weekend. Fine. We’re on.”
“You, me, Zoth, and…” she prompts with a triumphant smile.
"Oh." I wave my hand. "I can't decide, won't decide, so it'll just be me."
"Don't worry," Bay gushes. "I'll make sure you don't feel like a third wing." She squeals as she hugs me and then dashes off. My guess is that she's heading off campus to see Zoth and tell him the good news in person.
I sigh and tumble into bed.
Unfortunately, I'm so tired that I don't end up waking for dinner. I sleep until morning, so the rest of the week, I'm scrambling to get work done. Thankfully, I'm so tired all the time that I don't have any dreams or nightmares. When I sleep, it's plain and blissful rest that's fairly restorative.
Finally, it’s time for the double date. I wear my crescent necklace, like always, a black shirt that leaves a gap before a purple skirt that drapes down my legs in triangular pleats. And I keep thinking of it as a double date, but it’s not, not really.
I’ve only met Zoth once before, and it had been right after I learned and dealt with the friend-turned-killer Thistle. Thinking about him still gives me the creeps. But at least I’m fine and safe now. There’s no reason to be afraid. This year will be perfect.
Bay’s wearing a black bra and a black miniskirt when she glides into my room.
“Where’s your top?” I ask.
“I’m wearing it.” She winks.
“Bay, I am not sleeping with you both.”
“I hope that’s a joke, and even if it is, it’s a gross one. Multiple guys? That I can handle. Maybe kiss a girl to see what it’s like? Like I said, maybe. Anything with you is a big, fat hell no. Don’t make this awkward, please?”
“Trust me, I do not want this to be awkward at all.”
Arm in arm, we fly off campus, getting more than a few stares, winks, dropped jaws, and compliments sent our way. No one is overly degrading, and there aren’t any whistles.
I eye Bay. She seems positively thrilled.
“Why are you so happy?” I ask.
“Why wouldn’t I be? I’ve been wanting this for ages!” She laughs before giving me a fierce stare. “But I do want a real double date and sooner versus later, okay?”
“I make no promises,” I say firmly, but I’m grinning. I do need to pick, and I will.
We end up staying in the realm of the fairies, which makes me feel more at ease than, say, going over to the human’s or to the dominion of the demons. Just thinking about that makes me shiver. Has Bay gone there? I don’t even want to know.
Bay flies us over to a restaurant I’ve never been to before.
“Sparks and Stones,” I say, reading the sign.
“There’s a ring in every cup of their Sparked Champagne. Don’t worry. We’ll have some. I have a collection of their rings. This place is off the wing good.” She laughs.
The host smiles as we fly in. “Bay, welcome. Your date is already—Who is this lovely vision?”
“My twin. She’ll be joining us for dinner. I trust that won’t be an issue?”
“No, no, of course not. Zoth did mention someone would be coming along. I just didn’t realize she—You are lovely, just lovely.” He holds out his hand.
I give him mine, expecting him to shake it, only he brings it to his lips, kissing my knuckles. Flustered, I say, “I bet you say that to all of the ladies.”
“Call them beautiful, exquisite, the like, yes, but lovely, that is reserved for you.”
Bay shakes her head and loudly whispers, “You told me I was lovely when I first came here.”
“Now, you’re twins, aren’t you? So it only stands to reason that if one twin is lovely, so is the other, right?” He grins. “If you’ll allow me—”
"I know the way. My twin here is unavailable, but I'm sure that eventually, your flirting with every patron who enters will one day pay off."
I giggle as Bay leads the way to the back corner. Illuminated candles float in the air, giving the room a peaceful glow. A faint mist covers the legs of the tables and chairs, all of the furniture almost appearing to be on silts.
The table Zoth sits at is clearly meant for two, but another chair has been brought over. Bay makes a beeline for him and kisses him on the cheek. He eyes me as he yanks her back to him, pushes against the back of her head, and kisses her soundly, the kind of kiss meant for behind closed doors.
Refusing to feel out of place, I don’t dare break eye contact first, but that just makes him place his other hand on her ass, gripping it firmly, possessively.
Thankfully, the waitress comes over then, and Bay breaks away, giggling.
It’s awkward, very awkward. Zoth cracks joke after joke, but each one is darker and more twisted than the previous one. Bay laughs as if he’s a comedic genius.
Everything about him is dark—his humor, his eyes, his clothes.
His soul.
He's a true demon, that's for sure. I hadn't been around Zoth long the first time, and I didn't take much notice of him aside from his dark features. With everything after Thistle, I just needed to get away off campus more than anything.
To compare him to Damon is crazy. Damon isn’t anything at all like Zoth. Zoth just emits darkness, and while Damon will do crazy things, Damon doesn’t embrace being dark. He’s fun and hot and up for anything. Zoth… I don’t want to know what he’s up for.
As dinner drags on, I say less and less, just watching them interact. Bay clearly adores him. In fact, it’s obvious that she loves him.
After dinner, Zoth asks Bay to come back to his place. She barely even says goodbye to me before they’re flying off, and that’s when I realize something I hadn’t until now.
I’m afraid.
Afraid for Bay.
Not that I’m losing her.
But that Zoth is using her.
Chapter 11
The next day, I’m fluttering from Nature to Telepathy when Sage darts over to my side and shoves a honey cake into my hand.
“It’s not much, but a small snack might help,” he says.
“You’re so sweet.” I take a quick bite. “This is sweeter, though. Perfection. Thank you.”
“Anything for you.”
I pause and eye him eagerly. “Anything?”
He looks at me suspiciously. “Why do I feel as if I should retract my words?” he jokes.
“I need your help.”
“With…”
“I want to look into Zoth.”
“Zoth? Who’s that?”
“Bay’s boyfriend.”
Sage rubs the back of his neck. “Why do you want to look into him? Why not just ask her about him?”
I blow out a breath. “I don’t trust him. For that matter, I don’t trust her to be objective when it comes to him.”
“Zoth,” Sage repeats again in a low voice. “I don’t know that
name. Does he go here?”
“Ah, no.”
“Zoth doesn’t sound like a fairy name,” he says, his tone now as suspicious as his facial expression.
“Zoth is… Her boyfriend’s a demon,” I admit.
“Your sister is dating a demon?” he asks.
“If you’re not surprised,” I start, but he’s shaking his head.
“I don’t want you to hang around more demons,” he says. “I’ll do it myself.”
“Excuse me?” I ask even though I heard him perfectly. “That’s not what I want. That’s not what I asked!”
“Clearly, you’re worried about this guy, and you should be. Demons are dangerous and—”
“Hate is a strong word, but, Sage, frankly, I hate it when you try to control me.”
“I’m not trying to control you,” he protests.
"Then what do you call it?" I demand, crossing my arms. At this point, I'm already going to be late for class. What's the harm in being a few more minutes late? If this turns ugly, I can always just use the class as an excuse to duck away from this conflict.
“Protecting you.” He sounds incredulous and shocked, as if I should’ve already known this.
“Here’s the thing. I don’t need you to protect me.”
“Rosemary—”
“I don’t need you to be overly protective!”
“Don’t I?” he asks quietly. “You mean so much to me, and I care about you, but you can’t deny it.”
“Deny what?” I snap.
“That the past two years, you’ve put yourself in danger. First with Spring, a fairy who used her fist to bust a car, didn’t she? And then Thistle, he killed people to get close to you, and then he turned on you!”
Light Fae Academy: Year Three Page 5