by Dana Nussio
“I still can’t believe there wasn’t a single coffee shop open after nine.”
She’d driven to three, with him tailing her, before he’d passed her car and led her to a twenty-four-hour convenience store. He’d gone straight for the self-serve slush machines once they were inside.
“Slushes were a better idea, anyway.” He took a long pull on his straw, with frozen azure liquid flowing up the narrow tube. “It’s too hot for coffee.”
She sipped her own cherry drink and managed to swallow. At least hers wasn’t blue.
“I still can’t believe you don’t like raspberry. I thought every kid did.”
Not every kid. “I’m not a kid,” she said instead.
“I know that.”
“Anyway, I don’t like the way it stains your tongue.”
“My tongue?”
“You know what I mean.”
He grinned, and she tried to ignore the weightlessness in her belly.
“Anyway, red slush stains, too.”
He pointed at her mouth, which in daylight would have looked like Santa’s suit by now.
“Good point. I’m not really a fan of any flavor.”
“Why didn’t you say so?”
“How could I when you looked like an excited kid filling up your cup?” Or when he might have asked her why.
“Oh. I forgot.” He pulled his wallet from his back pocket and held out a five-dollar bill. “I said I would buy yours.”
“It wasn’t necessary.”
“Yes, it was. Is. I always keep my commitments.”
His words were a little intense for a promise to buy a drink, but she let him press the bill into her hand.
“Thanks.”
“It’s the least I could do.”
His mouth opened again, as if he might do more than that, like ask her what really had happened that afternoon. She spoke up before he had the chance.
“Why do you want to leave the task force?”
“I never said I did.”
Instead of answering, she waited. It was none of her business, just as her reason for losing it that day wasn’t his. Still, she couldn’t help wondering why someone who appeared to care about his work could walk away from the victims.
“Fine. I requested a transfer. The double murder will be my last case with the task force.”
“Can I ask why?”
“Sometimes people need a change.”
“Do you know where you’ll be transferred?”
He shook his head and looked toward the water, though the fence in front of him probably blocked his view of it.
“Did Dawson mention I was being transferred?”
“No, he didn’t say anything.”
“Then how’d you know?”
“You just seemed like somebody who needed a change.”
It wasn’t the whole truth but as close as she could get. She could no more tell him the rest than she could share her own experience with a predator and her suspicion that BIG DADDY and Emily’s abductor might be the same person. How could she admit that she sensed a desperation in him? Or that the feeling was so strong it squeezed inside her own chest?
“Because I’ve been grumpy lately?”
“Lately? You mean that isn’t just your personality?”
When Tony chuckled, Kelly finally let her shoulders relax.
“If it is my personality, then I’ve been myself in triplicate lately. Dawson won’t sign off on my transfer until we close this case.”
She settled back in the seat, the picture clearer then. “No wonder you didn’t want a newbie like me around. I’m just slowing your investigation, and you’re in a hurry.”
“I guess you haven’t spent much time working with the FBI on a case.”
“Obviously, this is my first.”
“If you had, you’d know that we don’t rush cases. Ever. Our work is all about precision. We follow the evidence, and we build cases. Ones that don’t fall apart at trial.”
“This case is different.”
He shook his head. “It can’t be. I can’t be any less diligent.”
“But the suspect’s still out there. And it might be only a matter of time until he strikes again.”
“Not on my watch.”
Tony blinked, as if his own words had surprised him.
“I’m with you on that one. He doesn’t get to do this to anyone else if there’s anything I can do to stop him.”
“Even talking with creeps online without losing your cool like you did today?”
Kelly planted her hands on the table edge. “Even that. It won’t happen again.”
“Okay.”
His laser focus bored through her, asking questions she couldn’t answer, searching for details she shouldn’t divulge. She forced herself not to look away. He held her future on the task force in his hands since he could still go to Dawson. She had to convince him she wouldn’t let him, or rather the team, down again.
When she couldn’t sit still any longer, she slid from the seat and grabbed her cup.
“Want to walk for a bit?”
He walked beside her as she started down the boardwalk that curved around Mill Pond. Neither spoke, so their footfalls along the wooden planks added a drumbeat to the symphony the nocturnal creatures performed.
Though she’d seen couples walking together there before, Kelly had never brought a guy there. She refused to acknowledge how right this felt. Refused to notice the heavy, romantic air. This wasn’t a date. Wasn’t anything close to it.
“I don’t usually get to venture out on the boardwalk much when I come here,” he said.
Kelly licked her lips, grateful for both his interruption and for proof that his thoughts weren’t traveling the same route as hers.
“It’s peaceful here.”
She pointed at the dimly lit Brighton Village Cemetery on the other side of a wrought iron fence.
“Unless you’re afraid of ghosts, I guess.”
“I’m not. Usually.” She didn’t tell him that some of the worst ghosts lurked nowhere near cemeteries.
“Me, neither. Usually.”
He was probably joking, but his words comforted her, anyway. She stopped and rested her hands on the wooden boardwalk railing. In daylight, she would have been able to see the fountain in the center of the pond and would have caught sight of a few carp swimming in their murky home, but at that hour, the water stretched out as black as an oil spill.
Tony settled his forearms on the railing next to her.
“You’re right. It is peaceful.”
He was so close that his breath tiptoed up the side of her neck. It didn’t bother her as much as it should have.
A small break had appeared in the bank of clouds, finally allowing a few tiny stars and a waning crescent moon to peek through.
“I think it’s beautiful,” she said.
“Yeah, me too.”
Kelly swallowed. Was he talking about the scenery or something else? Like her? Because she wasn’t thinking about anything else.
“Except for the mosquitoes.”
His comment popped the bubble of her trance, forcing all the things she wasn’t thinking about to whoosh out.
“What?”
He swatted at the insect that had landed on his forearm with his cup. “We’d better not stay in one place for too long, or they’ll carry us away.”
“Oh, right. State bird of Michigan.”
Only then did she notice that she’d had a couple of mosquito nibbles as well. One was on her shoulder, right through the blouse that felt sticky against her skin. She was getting carried away, all right, with gooey romantic thoughts.
Because she needed to put some space between them, she started down the path again, past trees, benches and the occasi
onal platform that jutted over the water.
“If you don’t walk on the boardwalk, what do you do when you come here?” she asked.
“The playground, of course.”
“Doing surveillance for creeps?”
“No, playing. Except when the ducks are around. Then we have to feed them instead.”
“You come here with your kids?”
She winced over her last word, which came out as a squeak. He had to be in his midthirties. Of course, he could have children. And possibly a wife. Or a girlfriend. Or both.
Tony chuckled again, a low and deep rumble that made her shiver as if the temperature was dropping instead of holding steady at eighty-four.
“Does it sound so impossible that I would have kids?”
“Oh, no, no. I just didn’t know you were married.”
“I’m divorced.”
“Oh. Sorry.” Great. She’d all but admitted she’d been searching his hand for a wedding ring.
“I don’t have kids, either. Do you?”
“No husband. No kids.”
“For the best sometimes.”
What did he mean by that? She would have asked, but he spoke before she had the chance.
“I bring my niece and nephew here. My sister’s kids.”
“I bet that’s fun.” Her words sounded lame, but it was better than confessing her relief that he was Uncle Tony and not Daddy. Why did she care?
“They’re great. Carter just turned two, and Tabitha’s four and a half going on twenty-five.”
“Sounds like you’re crazy about them.”
“I still haven’t recovered after babysitting last night.”
“You babysit?”
He laughed again. “People aren’t always what they seem.”
He was right about that. Few things she’d learned about Tony tonight blended with the picture she’d already painted of him. Had it been a poor likeness? Tony smiled when he was away from the office. He even laughed when he talked about his family. He seemed much younger when he laughed.
“Your sister’s lucky to have a brother like you.”
“I keep telling her that, but she still thinks of me as the overprotective big brother.”
“I can commiserate with her over that one.”
“You have a brother?”
She held up two fingers. “Bruce and Sam.”
“You’re the baby?”
“Is it that obvious?”
“I just wanted to know if you were as spoiled as Angelena.”
“Yes, I was spoiled. By my brothers.” Why was she inviting him to ask more questions?
“Why not by your parents?”
“Dad wasn’t around much. Still isn’t. An autoworker on midnights. He slept when everyone else was awake. And Mom? She just preferred sons, I guess. They gave her less to worry about, and she had no time for frilly dresses or makeup.”
“So, you became a tomboy to gain your mother’s approval.”
She shook her head as his observations encroached on the truth.
“It wasn’t like that. My parents just didn’t approve of me going to activities alone, so when my brothers picked up cross-country, and Mom dragged me to all the meets, I became involved, too. I was even good at it.”
“Then you became a cop because you were comfortable being around and competing with guys.”
This time she chuckled. “You think you’ve got me all figured out.”
“Maybe.”
They crossed a section of the boardwalk that backed up to another parking lot and more shops. The path ended without fully encircling the pond, so they turned back. Kelly found herself walking slower. Would they both return to their cars when they reached the playground again? Why wasn’t she ready to leave?
“Was working in the Detroit field office part of your plan when you chose a career in the FBI?” she asked him.
“You act as if I had a plan. I never thought I would work with the FBI. I expected to still be making big bucks in Silicon Valley.”
“Still?”
“Yeah, after I earned my master’s, I worked in California for about six years. Then I saw an ad saying the FBI was looking for people from all kinds of fields. I inquired.”
“That’s all it took?”
He shook his head. “That and a two-year process that included a background check that went back to age eighteen, a physical fitness test with a seventy-percent failure rate and the new agent training program at Quantico.”
“Wow, that’s intense. It might not be the same, but I spent twenty-six weeks at Trooper Recruit School.”
“I’m sure that’s tough training, too.”
“It had its moments. What did your family think about your job change?”
“My parents couldn’t understand how I could give up a high-paying career, but they were in the middle of a divorce, so they didn’t say much about it. My ex was louder with her disapproval, though.”
As they approached the playground again and stepped inside the reach of the parking-lot lights, Tony leaned his head back and stared at the pointed roofs above the slides. He pointed to the highest one.
“That’s Carter’s favorite spot. I made the mistake of taking him on that slide just once. Now he makes a run for it every time we’re here. He hasn’t learned to be afraid yet.”
He continued to focus on that slide as if lost in his memories. With all he’d witnessed on his job, he probably worried enough for his whole family.
“You gave up a lot to help people,” she said before she could stop herself.
His shoulders shifted. “No more than anyone else.”
“Most of us didn’t have Silicon Valley.”
“We all gave up something.”
Or a debt to pay. But she kept that to herself.
“Anyway, don’t treat me like I’m a knight in shining armor or something. The costume would never fit.”
“I think an FBI agent who babysits comes pretty close.”
“Oh, you think so, do you?”
She felt his gaze on her before she caught sight of it in her side vision. Was he forming a funny comeback or trying to determine if she was serious? But the weight in the humid air must have tripled because it suddenly felt closer around them. He was so close. His hand rested lightly on her shoulder as he turned her to face him.
A smile spread on his lips. And then his gaze lowered to her mouth. Kelly froze, her heart thudding in her chest. Tony was going to kiss her. She knew it with the same certainty that she always expected her fellow troopers to have her back. The question was, did she want him to? Forget that. Hell yes, she wanted him to, and the fact that her face was inching toward his told her that she would. Willingly. Enthusiastically.
Warning bells clamored in her head, but she ignored them jingle by jingle. He was the same guy who’d tested her at work, and they did work together, at least temporarily. Unfortunately, that didn’t make him look any less like he’d been carved out of marble. Or make his appeal any less, well, appealing.
He was so close now that his warm breath feathered over her cheek. Just a little closer. Her gaze shifted to the top of the slide again.
“Did you ever think about having kids of your own?”
Where had that come from? She wouldn’t have been sure she’d even spoken those words aloud if his head hadn’t suddenly jerked back. Then his whole body followed the path his head had taken.
“Why did you even ask that?”
“I don’t know.” She hugged herself, suddenly chilled. “You were talking about your niece and nephew, and I was, I don’t know, curious.”
Why she’d asked when they were a breath away from the first kiss she’d craved in a long time, she wasn’t sure. Had she said something to stop him from kissing her because she was afraid that she wou
ldn’t want him to stop?
“Not that it’s any of your business, but no, I don’t want kids.”
“Ever?” Why did she keep asking questions when he clearly didn’t want to talk about it? She hadn’t thought much about the subject herself, so why was she pressing him on it?
“No, not ever. I never want to be married again, and I never want to bring kids into this awful world. Don’t you get that? You can’t even imagine the stuff I’ve seen.”
She couldn’t. That much was obvious.
Tony shoved both hands back through his hair. “Sorry. That was... I don’t know. I’ve got to go.”
He turned and rounded the playground on the way to the parking lot. She hurried after him.
“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”
Tony stopped and looked over his shoulder. “It’s fine. Just a sore subject.”
“I figured.” When he started moving again, she hurried to walk next to him. “You’re not going to drive, are you?”
“I will. Eventually. Depends.”
“On what?”
“On how long it takes you to get in your car and drive away. There’s no way I’m leaving a woman alone at this park.”
She rolled her eyes. He was already back to form. “I’m a police officer, Tony.”
“And a woman.” He clicked a key fob as he approached his car, climbed inside and shut the door.
Kelly didn’t get a chance for a comeback, but it was just as well. She could call him out for trying to protect her, but then she would have to explain why she’d allowed him to cover for her earlier. She couldn’t do that. Before she did something to make things worse, she climbed in her SUV and started the engine. With a wave that he probably didn’t see, she pulled from the lot.
At least she hadn’t kissed him. The thought rolled over and over in her mind as she turned onto Main Street and then again on Grand River Avenue. It would have been a mistake, bigger than all of those she’d already made with him. Because clearly no matter how attractive Tony Lazzaro was, and no matter how attracted she was to him, this job had affected him in some way. Whatever he’d seen, heard and absorbed from humanity’s darkest side, it had changed him. It had stolen his hope.