by Dana Nussio
“Harper?”
Though she’d said it in her softest voice, the girl still startled.
“We’re all here to help you. We’re going to get you out of here.” She took a few steps closer and then gestured for the two men to move to the opposite side of the room. Dawson had already started up the stairs to inform the others and, probably, to reach out to Toledo law enforcement officers, who would notify her parents.
“Is it okay if I sit next to you?”
Harper tilted her head and watched her for several long seconds, but finally she nodded. Kelly moved slowly, lowering herself to the floor beside her.
“Did he hurt you, too?” Harper said in a quavering voice.
A lump formed in Kelly’ throat over that final word. Too. But the teen didn’t need her tears or her pity.
“Well, something like that. He’ll never get to hurt you again.”
This time Harper looked up at her, those sad, dark-brown eyes seeking answers, most of which Kelly couldn’t give.
“Promise?”
This one she could. “Yes, I promise.”
“I want my mom.”
Kelly started to explain that it would take a while for her parents to reach her, and she would have to be checked out at the hospital before she could be released to them. She didn’t get the chance as Harper launched herself into her arms, an available female substitute for a mother who couldn’t be there.
For several minutes Kelly held the girl, absorbing her sobs and rocking her in a way she guessed her mother would. She didn’t want to allow her own memories to seep in, but she suddenly was grateful for that woman in the police car, who’d covered her with the itchy blanket and let her talk about blue slushes.
She couldn’t look at Tony then, or wonder if he’d guessed what she was thinking about. He knew too many things about her, and he’d used them against her.
Only after the ambulance left with Harper, and more crime scene investigators descended on the property to cover both the house and the scene of the shooting, did Kelly finally head back to her car. Tony caught up to her as she reached inside to grab her purse.
“Finally heading to the ER like Dawson ordered hours ago?”
She shrugged, her arm throbbing more than it had all day. “I was a little busy before.”
“Do you want me to drive you?”
She did. That was the worst part. Even after everything that had happened today, when she found out that her scratch was probably more than a scratch, she wanted it to be with him.
“That’s okay,” she said, instead. “Eric told me he would drive me since my car’s kind of blocked in here. He feels terrible for letting Stevenson get details about the task force out of him. He didn’t know. He thought we were all on the same side.”
“So did I.”
He didn’t say more, and she couldn’t risk asking, but she suspected his comment was about more than the colleague who had allowed Stevenson to get to them. She’d believed some things that weren’t true, as well.
She took one last look at the old gray house, its exterior appearing more sinister now that she understood the sickness that had been contained inside.
“Do you think Harper wasn’t the first person to be trapped in that cellar?” she couldn’t help asking.
“Some of the CSI people seem to think there were others. Might even have been Fox when he was a kid, since he knew where it was located.”
“His grandfather?”
“Guess we’ll never know that for certain. But one thing I’ve learned over the years is that some people aren’t born predators. They’re made.”
She nodded and started away from him toward Eric’s car.
“Hey, Kelly.”
She turned back to him, at once hoping he would say something that could make everything right between them and knowing that it wasn’t possible.
“I’m really sorry. About everything.”
“Yeah, me, too.” She turned away because she was determined not to let him see her cry, and her eyes were already burning. She might have lied to protect him, but he’d betrayed her trust. How could they ever come back from that? Did she even want them to?
She took a few steps away from him, and from the crunch of the gravel behind her, she realized that he was walking away, too. This was the way it had to be because sometimes sorry wasn’t enough.
Chapter 29
Tony set the container on his kitchen table, his kitchen appearing a lot smaller than it had just that morning. His table seemed shorter, too, as he lifted items from inside the cardboard. He couldn’t be sure since he’d never eaten at it, even before he’d stopped cooking lately. Instead of marveling over those things, he should have been reflecting on how easily he’d just fit six years in a box.
When his fingers brushed the loose sheet of paper he’d packed along with Carter’s and Tabitha’s framed photos and his spare dress shirt and tie that he’d always kept on hand, he pulled it out and lowered into one of the kitchen chairs to read it. His transfer. Not so long ago, it had been all he could think about.
So many things had changed, but a critical one had stayed the same: he was still longing for something—or in this case someone—he couldn’t have.
His move to focus on identity theft was supposed to make his work life better. Apparently not. His heart just wasn’t in it. Or in anything else.
His ringing phone broke up his building pity party. He hated that he was disappointed when his sister’s name appeared on the screen again. It wasn’t her fault she wasn’t Kelly.
He clicked the button to pick up the call. “What’s up, Angelena?”
“Just checking in. Was today your last day?”
“You know it was. Why’d you really call?”
“I need a babysitter. Miles and I really need a night out.”
“Again?” He chuckled. “Besides, I’ve figured out your little plan.”
“What plan? There’s no plan.”
“And I appreciate it. Really. Could I take a raincheck on the kid therapy tonight?”
She blew out an audible breath. “Fine. But you should call her.”
“And tell her what?” He didn’t bother pretending not to know who she was speaking about. They’d been having some version of this conversation for days.
“I don’t know. That you’re sorry you were such a boob. That you forgive her for lying while she was trying to protect you.”
“Why do I always come out looking worse in your version of this story?”
“What are little sisters for?”
“But Angelena, how would I ever trust her when she went behind my back like that?”
“Do you love her?”
“Yeah.” It felt good to admit it to someone else.
“Then figure it out.”
“What if she can’t forgive me?” Maybe that was his fear all along because he already knew he could forgive her. He already had. If their roles had been reversed, he would have lied, too. Anything to keep her safe.
“I guess you’ll have to convince her, then. Don’t let pride or the mistakes you made with Laurel keep you from having what you want, okay?”
What if it’s too late? The question rested on his lips, but he didn’t say it.
His sister got off the phone quickly after that, as she must have realized she’d messed with his head enough for one night.
He considered stuffing the box in his closet with the kids’ school desk, but when he entered the guest room, he started unpacking it instead. When he reached the file at the bottom of the box, he sat on the bed and opened it. The search had been almost too easy. He’d been trying to decide when to share with Kelly what he’d found, when his window of opportunity had closed for good.
Had it? Maybe it was too late for him and Kelly to be together, but that didn’t m
ean he shouldn’t at least try to give Kelly her life back.
Taking the file with him, Tony returned to the kitchen table where he’d left his cell. He opened the folder again and stared down at the number.
He would be lying to say he didn’t secretly hope that this would convince her to give him a chance. Even if she didn’t, though, even if she never came back to him, she deserved to know what he’d learned.
He took a deep breath and dialed. A feminine voice answered on the second ring.
“Hello?”
“May I speak to Emily?”
* * *
Kelly pinned on her shield, checked her gray tie in the mirror and carefully unrolled the sleeve of her dress shirt over her bandaged arm. Then she headed out of the women’s dressing room.
“Look who’s right on time today,” Dion called out from one of the desks that enclosed the Brighton Post squad room.
Per usual, Nick was at the desk right next to him.
“I guess someone’s glad to be back home at her post. No traffic on your way to work today?”
“If you two need me to go back in there and waste ten minutes, I can do that, too.”
She could still play along with the office banter since she’d returned two weeks before, but it wasn’t effortless like she remembered. In fact, everything at the post seemed to have changed, from her fellow troopers to the daily second-shift briefings in the squad room.
Her patrol car probably smelled different, too, but she wouldn’t know for sure since her doctor hadn’t released her to full duty yet. That could have been the problem: she needed to get out on the road. But she sensed there was more to it. Maybe she was the one who’d changed. Loving and losing Tony had taken some part of her that she couldn’t get back.
“Earth to Trooper Roberts.” Dion waved a hand in front of her to get her attention. “Did you hear what I said?”
“No. Sorry.”
“Lieutenant Peterson said to tell you there’s a guest in the reception area waiting for you.”
Something fluttered inside her stomach, and she didn’t miss the look the two men exchanged. Could they be right? Could it be Tony out there, showing up to make some grand gesture? Did she even want him to do that? He’d betrayed her trust. He’d gone behind her back. Why did she have to keep reminding herself of that every time she clicked his name on her phone’s contacts list?
She started down the hall to the lobby before her coworkers could ask. Once out of their sight, she had to force herself not to run. She paused next to the locked door that separated the lobby from the rest of the building.
“Someone was here to see me?”
The receptionist nodded and pointed toward the door.
Was she prepared to forgive Tony if he asked? Was she ready to take another chance with him? Kelly took a deep breath and pushed open the door.
The person on the other side wasn’t Tony. Or any man. A plump twenty-something woman looked back at her, a long dark braid trailing down her back, her arms crossed as if she was cold, though the post’s air-conditioning hadn’t kept up in days.
“May I help you?”
“Are you...uh...Trooper Roberts?”
“Yes.” Something about her eyes looked familiar, but everyone seemed to lately. She tried again. “Is there something I can do for you?”
“You don’t remember me, do you?”
This time the woman smiled, and Kelly could picture those same front teeth, only with a split between them, pre-orthodontia.
“Emily?”
The woman nodded and grabbed her in a fierce hug that made her gasp from the pressure on her arm. When Emily stepped back, concern etched on her face, Kelly forced a smile.
“Just a little work injury.”
“Sorry.”
Someone cleared his throat, causing both women to turn. Ben Peterson stood at the open counter.
“I wondered if the two of you might want to continue your conversation in the interview room.”
Kelly nodded, and he buzzed them back.
Inside the door, she paused. “Lieutenant Peterson, this is my...uh...childhood friend, Emily Nikolaidis.”
“Barnard now,” Emily corrected.
Ben, who knew more about Kelly’s personal background than some of the others did, led them to the conference room and shut the door behind them. Kelly took a seat on the side of the long table.
Emily sat at the end. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have shown up at your work.”
“No. It’s fine. Really. You just surprised me. You know. After all this time.”
“I should have reached out to you forever ago, but you know how it is. We get caught up in our own lives.”
At that, Kelly grinned. “We definitely do. You said you were married?”
“Two kids, too.” She whipped out her phone and showed photos of little boys with dark hair and deep tan skin like hers. “I’m a nurse. Aaron’s a firefighter. Our life is crazy sometimes, but we make it work.”
“That’s great. I’m so happy for you, Emily.”
“And I’m happy for you. I was excited to hear you’re a police officer. You get to help people every day.”
Kelly tilted her head and studied her. “You heard that I’m a cop? Where did you...?”
“From your boyfriend, of course. Didn’t Tony tell you he called me? He said he was helping you to reconnect with me. You didn’t know?”
Kelly only shook her head since the lump forming in her throat made it impossible to speak. Had he reached out to her childhood friend as part of an apology? Perhaps. Still, he’d done it, even given the pain they’d caused each other. He’d made a grand gesture, after all.
“Maybe he wanted to surprise you.”
“Maybe.”
“What a sweet guy. He even offered to pay for my flight, but we couldn’t let him do that. It was kind of him to offer.”
Kelly couldn’t bring herself to correct Emily’s assumption that the two of them were a couple. Her own reasons for them not being together were becoming fuzzier with each new revelation.
“You seem really happy,” she said instead. “I’m glad.”
She could have stopped there, leaving the conversation with her childhood best friend in that safe place on the surface. But Tony had given her this chance, and though this probably wasn’t the time nor the place, she would take that opportunity. Instead of continuing to chase absolution, it was time to ask for it.
She clasped her hands on the table in front of her. “I want you to know that I’m sorry for not being there for you, when, you know, everything happened.”
“You mean when I was abducted? You can say it. Tony told me you might want to talk about it. Anyway, you were there for me.”
“I wasn’t.” Her eyes burned, but she’d broken the seal that had held the words in place, and now she couldn’t stop them. “I was confused and scared. You were different, and I was—”
“A kid,” Emily finished for her. “We both were.”
“That’s not a good enough excuse for pulling away just when you needed me.”
“It has to be.” Emily reached across the table and took Kelly’s gripped hands between hers.
“Can you ever forgive me?”
“For what?”
“For not screaming. For freezing when I should have been fighting him. When I should have stopped him.” Tears flooded her eyes and escaped from the outside corners no matter how hard she tried to blink them away. Emily released her hands and grabbed the box of tissues always kept in the interview room for suspects and victims.
“There’s nothing to forgive. I never blamed you. Never.”
Kelly shook her head, Emily’s freeing words clashing with a lifetime of self-loathing. Her friend hadn’t blamed her, just like Tony had predicted.
Emily’s eyes
were damp now, too, so she grabbed a few more tissues for herself.
“In some ways, I think my abductor took more from you than he ever did from me. I never once blamed myself. But you did. You’re still doing it.”
She tilted her head to the side so her ear nearly touched her shoulder, her eyes sad.
“So stop. Please. For me.”
“I’m trying.”
“Try harder.”
“I hate that there was never a conviction, or even arrest, in your case.”
“Yeah, me, too. But a detective told me years ago that if no other similar abductions to mine were reported in the years after it, that could mean that the suspect might have been imprisoned on another charge. Maybe he even died there. I choose to believe that theory.”
“I want to believe it, too,” Kelly admitted. It was a departure from her determination to find him, but maybe it was time to let go.
“Enough about that,” Emily said, smiling. “Tell me about this Tony. Are you two engaged? He seemed to be so in love with you.”
“I think he does love me.” Kelly cleared her throat, but she still couldn’t keep the emotion from coating her voice. “I love him, too, but, well, I’ve never been good at relationships. And, you know, some broken things can’t be fixed.”
“Do you want to? Fix them, that is.”
“I do, sure, but...”
“So fix them. Don’t let what happened to us when we were kids keep you from living your best life or from being with the man you love. If you do that, the guy wins. We can’t let him win.”
Kelly didn’t answer then. She couldn’t. Why had she never considered before that by allowing her history to cripple her relationships she’d given him power over her?
Her friend took her hands again and smiled, despite the tears still shining in her eyes.
“That man of yours convinced me to come here, just so you would have the chance to put your past behind you. Sounds like a keeper to me.”
Kelly couldn’t help but to agree. In her heart, she’d always known that. After they’d made plans to meet at Emily’s hotel later that night to really catch up, she returned to her desk assignment, but their conversation kept replaying in her mind. That and the truth that Tony had arranged this whole visit just for her.