“Carmen does not cook. She’s more of a takeout person.”
“I get you, Carmen.”
“See, Soph. Not everyone is a chef. Especially not in college.”
Sophie tosses a French fry at her friend. “Keep talking like that and I’ll stop cooking for you.”
“If you stop cooking for me, I’ll bring home beef nachos every night.”
“No, no, no. I’ll never stop cooking for you. Even when we’re old and married, I’ll still come over and cook for you. Anything to prevent such a travesty.”
“That’s what I thought,” Carmen says with a laugh.
It’s so easy between the two of them. It reminds me of the locker room after hockey practice. The vibe there is nothing like they make it seem in movies. I admit it doesn’t smell great, but we don’t all talk to each other. The team is cliquey. We have our friend groups. Travis, Damien, and me talk a lot while we get changed. Our banter is the same as Carmen and Sophie.
I’m lucky to have a team I get along with. In high school, I didn’t have many friends on the team. Most were upperclassman who graduated and left me to fend for myself. It wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t great, either. College has been a totally different experience for me. I made friends with guys in my class immediately. We’ve grown up together.
It’s gonna suck when we stop playing together. Hopefully, some of us get drafted by the same teams. Or we get drafted to different teams and get to play against each other. At the very least, I want to stay in touch with my friends after graduation.
Easier said than done.
The four of us chat together as we finish our food. It’s not as nice as when Sophie and I were alone, but I won’t complain. I’m pretty sure Carmen has one more thing in mind for our evening. I’ll have more time to win Sophie over.
After we eat and pay, we head outside.
“This has been fun, but…”
Before Sophie can finish, Carmen cuts her off. “The night isn’t over yet!”
“Carmen.”
“Come on, Soph. It’s Thirsty Thursday!”
Sophie rolls her eyes. “Are you really using one of your coupons right now?”
“Coupon?”
“For Christmas, I gave Carmen a coupon book. Among other things, it contained five free bar nights. I hate bars, but she always wants me to go. I basically promised I’d go five times without complaint this semester.”
“And one of those times is tonight!”
A part of me feels bad that Sophie is being manipulated into coming to the bar. The other, bigger, part of me is glad because it means a few more hours together.
“Fine. Let’s go, then. But I wish you’d warned me. I’m not exactly dressed for the bar.”
“Please,” Carmen says. “The Goat Bar doesn’t have a dress code. You’ll be overdressed compared to half the people there.”
“True,” Sophie says with a laugh. “At least I’m not wearing sweatpants.”
“See! Killin it.”
The bar is just down the street from the diner, but we proceed in our separate couplings. The street is surprisingly quiet for eight on a Friday night.
“You know, I love just going for walks.”
“Really?”
Sophie laughs quietly. “I don’t think that should be surprising considering who I am as a person.”
“True. I get it, too. I like the quiet. Sometimes I take a walk to clear my head before a game.”
“Exactly! When I was back home, I would take my dog, but here I just go by myself.”
“Where are you from?”
“Pennsylvania,” Sophie says. “How about you?”
“Massachusetts.”
“Wow, you didn’t go far for college.”
I laugh. “Nope. I like it here. Plus, we have one of the best hockey programs in the country. I get to be close to home and play my favorite sport. It works out well.”
“Sounds like you got lucky.”
“How did you end up here?”
She shrugs. “I don’t really know. I visited campus and loved it more than the other schools I applied to.”
“Hey, whatever works.”
There’s already a line to get into The Goat Bar despite the early hour. They’re only open until one on Thursdays, so it makes sense. College kids need to get in as much drinking as they can. This is nothing compared to how busy it is the week before finals.
When we get in line, Sophie starts looking around. She’s probably trying to see if anyone she knows is here.
We get inside and immediately head for the bar. I grab drinks for Sophie and me. Travis does the same for him and Carmen.
As soon as I get back to Sophie, I hand her the plastic cup.
“Oh, thank you. You didn’t have to do that.”
“It’s no problem. We’re here…”
I was going to say together, but my word is cut off when a guy comes up with two cups in his hands.
It’s the same guy I saw Sophie with on Friday.
And he seems to think they’re the ones who are together.
9
Sophie
The hurt look on Matt’s face is unexpected. He didn’t think we were on an actual date, did he? I thought I made it clear that I was just here for Carmen. Yeah, we were getting along well, but I needed to make it seem legit so Carmen could have her chance with Travis.
“This is Zack,” I tell Matt. “Zack, Matt.”
The guys shake hands, eyeing each other suspiciously. Luckily for him, Zack doesn’t try to get all possessive. I hate when guys do that. He stands close to me, but he doesn’t put his arm around me or anything. I would’ve had to shove him off if he did. Then that might give Matt the wrong idea, and it would get all complicated.
I hate complicated. That’s yet another reason not to be with Matt. It would be insane. His travel and practice schedule would make a relationship nearly impossible. No, thank you.
“I’ve seen you around,” Zack says. “You’re killing it this season. How are you feeling about the championships?”
Matt’s demeanor changes. He’s in his element when he’s talking about hockey. Maybe he’s not as annoyed as I originally thought. He wouldn’t be chatting so easily with Zack if he was pissed at him.
“I’m feeling good. I don’t want to jinx it, but the team is strong.”
“You’re telling me! I watched your last game. Your offense is good, but defense? Damn. I’ve never seen a stronger team.”
“We’ve worked hard on that. Defense was a weakness my freshman year.”
“I remember. I write for the school newspaper and I’ve been covering the Goats hockey team since I first started.”
Matt laughs. “So, you’re the guy trying to give us all nicknames?”
“It was a solid effort. Shame none of them stick.”
Watching the guys chat is weird. They’re getting along so well. Maybe all three of us can be friends, even if Zack and I start dating?
I also envy Matt. My conversations with Zack have not been this easy, except for that first night. In hindsight, I blame my anger at Matt and the alcohol I consumed. I’m always a better conversationalist when I’m a little drunk.
Except, that hasn’t been the case with Matt. I was sober when we met, and when we went up to Damien’s bedroom.
This sucks. Carmen owes me. I was doing well with moving on from whatever did or didn’t happen with Matt until she made me come on this fake double date. I was wrong to think he and I could maybe be friends. That would be a disaster.
I’m not sure I can turn my feelings enough for that.
I finish my drink as the guys talk about hockey. They don’t seem to notice I’m here, but I’m okay with it. I need to clear my head.
Carmen is in the corner talking with Travis. He’s got one arm bracing himself against the wall Carmen is leaning on. It looks like a scene out of a movie.
She glances up and notices me. Her smile tells me what I need to know. Our double dat
e was a success.
I’m glad it worked out for her. If it had been a total bust, I would’ve been pissed.
I’ll have to have a talk with Travis this week. No one dates my best friend without a fair warning from me.
It’s this joke thing Carmen and I do. Our dads live in Pennsylvania, so they’re not around to intimate the men we date. As sophomores, after one too many heartbreaks, Carmen and I decided to start intimidating them for each other. Whenever one of us starts to get serious someone, we have an imposing, somewhat threatening, conversation with the guy.
Carmen had the conversation with my ex-boyfriend. Too bad it didn’t work. He still cheated on me.
Carmen might have egged his car after. I might have helped.
If you ask either of us, we’ll deny it.
Lucky for us, the campus police officer on duty when he filed the report was a woman. We didn’t admit fault, but everyone knows it was Carmen and me. I told the officer that he was a cheating asshole and so there were many suspects. She dropped the case.
“Hey, you need another drink,” Zack says.
My head shoots up. I had forgotten I was standing with him and Matt. They’re both looking at me now. Apparently, their hockey talk is over.
I look at my empty cup, then up at Zack.
“I guess I do,” I say.
He grins at me. “I’ll handle it.”
He takes the empty cup and downs the rest of the alcohol in his own. With a salute, he turns and heads for the bar, leaving Matt and I alone.
“So,” Matt says. “Zack.”
“What about him?” I ask, even though I’m pretty sure I know where Matt is going with this. The more I go over the last few hours, the more concerned I get. I don’t think Matt knew the entire double date was a farce to get Carmen and Travis together.
Well, he knew. On the surface. Deep down, I’m worried he thought it was going to be something more for us.
Now I feel bad. I didn’t mean to lead him on or anything.
This was a mistake. Carmen definitely owes me.
“I didn’t know you were meeting someone here,” Matt says.
“I didn’t either, really. I texted Zack after the diner and asked what he was doing. He was already here.”
“So he didn’t come just for you?”
“No, but so what if he did?”
Matt cringes. “You’re right. Sorry.”
“Matt, what’s going on here?”
“Nothing, really.”
“Okay, then I’m going to find Zack.”
“Sophie…”
I back away. He’s acting weird, and I don’t want the stress of trying to figure out what’s going on. “Mission accomplished. Carmen and Travis are making out in the corner now. That’s what this whole night was about. Now that they’re comfortable together, I’m going to hang out with Zack. Are you okay on your own?”
Matt stares at me without speaking for a full minute. It’s awkward, especially with the loud music surrounding us. We’re far enough from the dance floor that we’re not hit by a ton of bodies, but there are plenty of couples and potential hookups looming about over here. None of them seem to notice how weird things are between Matt and me.
I wish I didn’t notice.
“Yeah. I’ll be fine. Enjoy your real date.”
I sigh. I’m not dealing with this right now. If Matt was under the impression that what we were doing was real, that’s on him. I was as clear as I could have been.
When I turn, I spot Zack heading towards us. I meet him closer to the dance floor.
He hands me my drink. “Hey. Where’s Matt?”
I look behind me, and Matt’s no longer standing where I left him. A sick part of me wonders if he’s with another girl already, and I don’t like the tension in my stomach at the thought. I have no right to feel jealous when I’m the one with another guy, one I’ve gone on actual dates with.
It makes no sense. Matt isn’t the kind of guy I want to be with. He’s probably got a gaggle of women surrounding him right now, just like at the party. I saw his face that night. He loves the attention. I could never trust him. He does overnights for hockey games sometimes. What if he went out drinking with the guys, met another girl, and decided to take her back to the hotel? It would break me. I can’t be cheated on again. The first time was painful enough.
No, I’m doing the right thing. It doesn’t matter that Matt and I have chemistry. That we can talk to each other easily. That I would love to get him in bed again and finish what we started. Being with him would be too big a risk. One I’m not willing to take.
Zack is safe. He probably won’t cheat on me. He works for the school newspaper, for goodness sake. I don’t want to typecast, but come on. Zack isn’t a jock with a million girls begging for his attention.
In fact, his focus is entirely on me right now.
“He went to find some friends,” I lie, finally answering Zack’s question. “He wanted to give us some time alone.”
Zack laughs. “We’re hardly alone here, but I appreciate the attempt. Do you want to dance?”
I nod and Zack leads me out onto the dance floor. His movements are fluid, but a bit off beat. Nothing like the way Matt and I danced at the party last weekend.
I can’t keep thinking about Matt. Zack is going to notice if my mind is distracted by another guy. I want to make things work for him. If for no other reason but to forget how badly I want things to work with Matt.
Zack’s hands find my hips and pull me close. It feels good, being pressed against him. I think I can do this. We can work on the other stuff. We’ll figure out what we have in common and that will help us with conversations. I’m not worried. Especially with Zack touching me the way he is right now. We may not have the same steamy chemistry that I had with Matt, but we definitely have something between us.
Too bad I have an early day tomorrow. I need my sleep, otherwise I would invite Zack to my apartment. Or go to his.
We dance until it starts to get late. Carmen taps me on the shoulder.
“Hey, we’re heading out. Where’s Matt?”
“Not sure. I’ve been dancing with Zack.”
Carmen’s face changes, but she hides it quickly. I make a mental note to ask her about that tomorrow. She can’t possibly be pushing for me to be with Matt, can she? She’s the one who told me to forget about it.
It is weird that she would suggest the double date after telling me to let go of Matt completely. Carmen is up to something. I have a feeling it’s nothing good.
“Alright, well, if you see him, tell him I said thanks.”
“Will do. Enjoy your night.”
Carmen winks at me. She’s heading to Travis’s apartment tonight, as was the plan we came up with. His roommate doesn’t have Friday classes by some miracle, so he’s rarely around Thursday through Sunday. I don’t get why Travis and Carmen ever come to our apartment when his is available, but whatever. I’m glad I get the place to myself tonight. I love Carmen as a roommate, but she’s very loud in bed. I won’t have to wear my noise canceling headphones tonight.
I yawn as Carmen walks away.
Zack chuckles next to me. “I think we should call it a night, too.”
“I think you’re right.”
Zack walks me out of the bar. I look around quickly, but I don’t spot Matt. For all I know, he found a girl and has already taken her home. I wouldn’t be surprised. He is a hockey guy, after all.
On the street, Zack gives me a quick kiss.
“I can walk you home, if you want.”
I shake my head. He lives in the opposite direction. It seems like everything is in opposite directions on this campus.
“I’ll be fine. Thank you, though.”
He kisses me again. “Alright. Text me when you get back.”
“Will do. I had fun tonight.”
Zack smiles. “I did, too.”
I walk to my apartment alone, lost in thought. It wasn’t a lie when I told Zack I h
ad fun tonight. Unfortunately, the most fun part was when I was with Matt.
I need to figure this out. I need to get over Matt for real.
If only it were that easy.
10
Matt
It’s been almost a week since the failed date with Sophie.
Carmen doesn’t want to give up. She’s been calling me every day since Thursday, begging me to give it another shot.
I don’t see the point. Sophie made it clear she was with someone else that night. Carmen assures me they’re not serious, but it doesn’t matter. Sophie likes Zack. She’s not interested in anything with me.
It shouldn’t hurt this badly. We hardly know each other. It’s weird to meet someone for the first time and yet feel like you’ve always known them. We had a great time on Thursday. Well, I did. Apparently, Sophie was just pretending for Carmen’s sake.
I’m a fool. I fell for the part she played. The worst part is, I knew she was playing it. Sophie came on the date under the impression that we were doing it for Carmen and Travis. I’m the one who thought we had more. It’s my fault that I feel so shitty now.
Friday was torture. Sophie and I have econ together and of course, now we sit next to each other. She has no problem ignoring me. I could practically feel her next to me the entire time, even with a foot between our desks.
Monday was more of the same. Once again, she didn’t so much as glance in my direction, but I couldn’t stop looking at her.
I’m not looking forward to today. I wonder if the professor will move my seat if I ask. I could explain the situation to him. He might understand.
I’d feel like an idiot, though. Clearly, in Sophie’s mind, we’re practically strangers. My mind is so screwed up that I want to move my seat away from her. We’re on completely different levels right now.
I need to power through it. I can’t let Sophie get in my head right now. Like coach said, I don’t need the distraction. This is all for the best.
Travis slaps my back. I’ve been staring at my locker for like ten minutes. Most of the team has already cleared out after our Wednesday morning practice.
Cocky Puck: A College Sports Romance (Hockey Hearthrobs) Page 6