My last remark caused Caitlin to laugh. “It’s not as strange as it might sound to you. When you’re bonded with another, they care for you, and they know you’ll also be with others. There’s no jealousy. I’m sure you’ll find it freeing, once it happens.”
I was not so certain about that. I’d never been with anyone before—now I knew it was because I wasn’t attracted to humans the way I was to shifters—but it made me very self-conscious. Worried when, if I’d only had one boyfriend before, I would have worried a heck of a lot less—I would’ve had some experience. What if I did something wrong? What if I said something in the middle of you-know-what and completely ruined the moment? What if…
Okay, there were a lot of what-ifs that raced through my head in that moment.
My worry must’ve been obvious, for Caitlin let out a feminine laugh, light and fluttery. “You’ll be fine. If you ever need someone to talk to about it, I’m usually available. The pack doesn’t let me do anything since I’m so close,” she referred to her very pregnant state.
I nodded. “Thanks. I appreciate it.” I really, really did, even if Caitlin was just doing it to be nice, or if Forest or some other shifter had told her to. It was still comforting to know someone would be there to listen if I ever needed it.
“Now go on,” Caitlin said. “I’m going to head back to town. Have to pee, and doing it in the woods is impossible when you have all this weight. It’s a lot easier to sit down. You know, pregnancy sucks.” She smiled, rubbing her round belly with such love and adoration it kind of made me sick.
I was so not ready for that.
Caitlin turned and started to walk away, going back the way they came—although she did more waddling than walking, with her huge belly. Her long, curly hair swayed with each step, its black lengths bouncing.
A nice woman, someone I instantly liked. Talking with her, even for such a short time, made everything seem more real. What if Clay came back and she was his next victim? What if he decided I was no longer the key to unlocking the beast, but Caitlin’s unborn child was?
I would not let Clay hurt anyone else. I’d do whatever it took to stop him.
Where was my magical, old wizened tutor? The one there always was in the movies to help guide the hero? Not like I was the hero here, but…
Damn it. I was the frigging hero.
Chapter Four - Addie
I waited until Caitlin was out of sight before turning and heading past the last line of trees and into the clearing. It looked so different without the cabin, both less menacing and more foreboding. The cabin itself had been nothing special, just a one room building, less than three hundred square feet, but it was one I would never forget.
All the blood. All the lives lost inside it. The fire that roared with a red flame, kept alight with Clay’s death magic. Terrible memories that would haunt my dreams, years down the road. That was assuming I lived through this. If Clay had his way, I wouldn’t.
An invisible energy pulled at me, tickling my skin. I knew enough now to know it was the residual magic. Every spell Clay had used to keep the cabin hidden, every spell he’d used inside it, even the one for the barrier that masked the cabin’s location from the pack, lingered. Not strong enough to do anything; more like a footprint. A footprint saying magic was here. It was the first time I’d ever felt anything like it.
Had I never run into magic in my life before the floating book, or was I only now detecting things because I knew the truth? Because I was able to kind of harness my own power?
A crew of shifters worked along the rows of handmade crosses, using shovels to break the ground and then their hands once they were deep enough, probably not to hurt the bodies more. Respect for the dead. Once they dug them up, they placed them on a makeshift stretcher—two thick sticks tied with some cloth—and carried them out and away from the clearing.
The sun shone hot overhead, beating down on my hair. All this sun exposure was not good for the pink strands, but there was little I could do. Maybe I could call my mom and have her send me some more dye after all this—along with telling her my decision to stay.
Did they even get mail here? They had to. Stupid question.
I spotted Forest kneeling over the most recently dug-up body. Going up to him while he was leaning over a decaying, dried corpse was not what I wanted to do.
Then again, why was I even here? It wasn’t like I was going to tell him hey, decided I want to get railed by the three wolves you’ve chosen as my mates, so good choice with them.
As I was lost in my own thoughts, Forest stood, nodding once to the men around the stretcher. They picked up the body, carrying it away from the clearing, marching back to the town. I had no idea what they were doing with the bodies, but it had to be more respectful than the way Clay used them and dumped them in unmarked graves, save for those hideous, ungainly crosses.
He’d heard me, probably heard my approach for a while, now. Forest did not turn to face me as he wiped his forearm on his forehead, muttering, “You should not be here.” His shirt was covered in sweat, the cotton material hugging his muscles in ways I definitely shouldn’t notice.
Forest was older than me by at least ten years. He was supposed to be my mom’s mate, but he was born years after her, and by the time he was of age, Sarah had already run off with my father. Sure, he was drop-dead gorgeous, lick-able in every way possible, but still. I needed to do my best not to think of him like that.
He was an authority figure. The alpha.
I averted my eyes from his shoulders—which seemed awfully square and wide, suddenly—instead gazing at the gravesite. “I don’t think any of us should be here,” I spoke quietly. Magic remained. Clay could return. It was dangerous to be here, and it didn’t take a know-it-all to realize it.
Forest moved to pick up the shovel resting a few feet beside him. As he did so, he shot me a look, his blue eyes cloudy. “I will not leave anyone here,” he said, straightening out. “They will come home and get the funeral they deserve.” He finally turned to me, towering over me because he was basically a giant. “You should go back to town, Addie.”
I could not stare into his intense gaze for long. Just like the magic around me, something lingered in his stare, but unlike the magic, it was something I could not name.
I could feel the gazes of the other shifters, men of various ages, all probably wondering why I was here. Some of them looked a bit more wolfish than others, but they were all thick, huge, and muscular in the way their kind was. I ignored them, focusing on the shovel in Forest’s hand. A hand that gripped the shovel so tightly, his knuckles were turning white.
He had to feel intense loss here. Being around so many shifters who’d lost their lives while under his rule had to be tough. I couldn’t guess what he felt, whether or not he blamed himself for all of it. I would, if I was in his position. I was the worst self-blamer around.
“I’m not going back to town,” I said, head bobbing at the shovel he held. “I want to help.” Yes, helping dig up bodies sounded much more appealing than telling Forest I was okay with the arrangement for me to be with Maze, Dylan, and Landon.
Probably not a joke I should’ve made, even if it was only to myself.
This situation was serious, the bodies they dug up real. This was not a time for any sort of joke.
Forest studied me, his gaze still a bit too hard, a bit too penetrating, as if he could see into my mind. “No,” he said, turning away from me. “Go back to town.” He practically growled out the four words, an order from an alpha to a packmate who was supposed to follow his word like law.
“I won’t,” I said. My stubborn words caused everyone to stop what they were doing and stare at me. Disbelief radiated across their faces, as if they could not believe I had disobeyed the alpha. “I’m going to help, whether you like it or not.” Though there were nearly a dozen others hard at work, I added, “You need help.”
He was about to order me away again—I could tell by the tensing of the
vein in his forehead—but he stopped himself. “Fine. You’ll help me.” Forest turned and started walking, dodging the holes that were already dug up, moving around the pairs of shifters digging.
There was one hole already half-dug, not deep enough to have pulled a body out yet, but Forest didn’t stop before it. He kept going, passing numerous crosses and graves. I didn’t question him, didn’t say a single word as I watched him stop at the final cross in the row we stood in and drop to his knees, slowly lowering his nose to the ground.
He inhaled a deep lungful before standing and saying, “This one.”
Well, if he wanted to creep me out, he definitely had it down pat. I bit the inside of my cheek, wondering if it was too late to turn around and go back to town. Seeing a partially decomposed body on a stretcher ten feet away was a far cry from digging it up myself and touching it with my bare hands.
Shouldn’t we have gloves on? Or masks? Or…something?
“Let me loosen the dirt first, take off the top layer,” Forest said, more informing me of the plan than asking me if I was sure I wanted to do this.
I nodded. It was way too late to turn back now.
I stood back, shrugging off my jean jacket as I watched him go at it with the shovel. My jacket had seen so much lately, I’d hate to get it even dirtier. I set it aside, past the boundaries of the graves, rolling my shoulders, which were now bare in my tank top—and a little chilly to boot. Once I started working, I knew I’d sweat.
Within a few minutes, Forest had the grass dug up, along with the next foot or so of dirt. The rest would be up to our hands, so as to not further dismember the body below. He knelt on one side of the hole while I positioned myself on the other.
Forest stuck his hands in the hole first, and I saw that his arm muscles seemed to bulge more, the veins popping. I wasn’t so much in awe of his physique—even though it was something to stare at—than I was stunned at the claws growing on his fingers. They looked like wolf claws. The rest of him didn’t turn at all.
“You can,” I paused, unaware of how to say it or what it was called, “shift a little?” There had to be a better word, or a phrase. Shifting a little did not inspire fear or awe, not like those claws did. They could rip out anyone’s throat easily.
“Only some can partially shift,” Forest replied, his blue gaze flicking to me for only a second before returning to the hole as he dug. He must’ve thought I was scared of getting scratched, for he added, “Just keep your hands away from mine, and you’ll be fine.”
Right. Because a scratch would mean I would connect with my inner wolf fully and be able to shift. Not in the plan anytime soon, at least not until Clay was dealt with. But, strangely, that wasn’t what I meant. I knew Forest wouldn’t scratch me, that he’d be careful around me.
I…wasn’t sure what I meant. Maybe I was just thinking out loud. Maybe I was just in awe of the alpha. Nothing more. I definitely was not developing a crush on him. There were a million reasons why that would be a bad idea.
No, a million and a half. Probably more. My inner wolf was in heat or something, yearning to be claimed by frigging anyone.
Well, my inner wolf had another thing coming. She’d be waiting a while.
Forest and I dug. Neither of us spoke another word, which was probably for the best. His voice was too deep, anyway. Too manly. How was I not supposed to develop a crush on the guy? He was sex on two legs. Realistically, so were my three intended, but Forest was a man. He was older. There were angles on his face the others didn’t have yet, a matureness that only came with age.
God, I needed help ASAP, and not with the hole.
It took us a while, and of course I mostly fumbled about because this was the first time in my life I’d ever dug through dirt—not to mention the fact I didn’t have claws—but it happened, just as I knew it would.
We reached the body.
Specifically, I was the one who reached the body first. Dried skin, almost like a mummy, because Clay sucked all the blood out of them before he got rid of them, to refuel his body.
“Keep going,” Forest whispered, shifting his clawed hands back to normal, having earthed up part of a leg, all brown and hard. “We have to get every part out of the dirt so the body doesn’t fall apart when we pull it out.”
I really wanted to turn and puke, but I swallowed the feeling down and kept on digging away. Handful after handful, I slowly revealed a neck, a face…hair. Long hair. Though the eyes were sunken in, though the face had no lips, only shriveled skin and yellowed teeth, I knew. I didn’t need to see the rest of the body.
It was a woman.
Pausing in my digging, I flicked my eyes at Forest. He had unearthed most of her legs, focusing on the corpse with an intensity no one would be able to match. My heart suddenly ached, but I pushed my feelings to the side and helped dig up the torso. The clothes she wore were dirty and torn, jean shorts and a ripped tube top. She had no shoes.
I stood and backed away once the body was completely dug up, allowing Forest to pull her up and out of the grave, holding the back of her head so it didn’t snap and break. It was the first time any of these bodies had seen daylight in a long while.
I noticed the others had stopped what they were doing and also watched Forest.
I…didn’t belong here. I shouldn’t be seeing this. This was far too intimate, too emotional. This meant more to everyone than I could know.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, taking a step back.
Cradling the corpse to his body, Forest looked at me but said nothing. What was there to say?
I headed towards my folded jacket, picking it up, throwing it on as I hurried away. I felt the urge to cry, because I knew there was something I didn’t know, knew that corpse meant more to the pack than I could understand, but no tears came. I was tearless as I hiked my way through the woods.
Death was not something I had to face growing up. I only had my mom. No extended family to speak of. My father’s side, well, Sarah had kept me from them for obvious reasons. I supposed I had family now, but it seemed like Henry was alone, no grandmother to speak of. And it was like everyone in the pack was related somehow, or pretended to be. Everyone was a sister or a brother, even if they weren’t by blood.
I could have cousins around here, somewhere. Caitlin might even be related to me, somehow.
Did it matter, though? Either way, I didn’t know how to handle death. Funerals? Never been to one, ever—only seen some on TV and in the movies. I knew it might’ve been a childish way to look at the world, but I never prepared myself for it. I did what I could for the things I faced, like tests and avoiding my mom’s clients. How could I prepare for something that had never happened to me before?
Death was so final, the end-all of everything. Death was something everyone knew but couldn’t put into words. It was hard, painful, but it could offer release for some. Dead was dead; there was no coming back from it.
Clay was…Clay was a different story.
God, now I really regretted going to the clearing and finding Forest. I should’ve just let him be and taken a walk by myself. Maybe a nap. Even though it was the middle of the day, I was tired, so freaking tired I could probably curl up and sleep on a bed of rocks.
A voice broke through the woods, and I looked up to see Dylan approaching, clutching his worn copy of Gone with the Wind at his side. He lifted a finger to his glasses, adjusting them. His cheeks were flushed, as if he’d been running.
I was so startled at his sudden appearance, and so caught up in the flush in his cheeks—and wondering how much redder he could get—I hardly heard a word he said. He was cute, his dirty blonde hair a bit longer than Maze’s, long enough to lay over the top rims of his glasses.
He repeated himself, “Addie, there’s a situation at the house.”
A situation so bad Dylan had to run to get me? I did not like the sound of it, but I knew I had no choice but to go. At least it would get my mind off of Forest, and the way he’d held the bo
dy. That had been a moment I should not have seen. Haunting was the only word for it.
Haunting and heartbreaking.
Chapter Five – Addie
I walked beside Dylan, though it was more like a speed walk than a leisurely stroll through the woods. I watched him as we went, half listening to him. He kept going on and on about how he’d never seen anything like it before, and all I could think was: Jack.
If Jack escaped, Forest would’ve been the first notified. Maybe the wolf shifted back into his human form? Or he was stuck, half and half, and couldn’t shift back? What else could Dylan have never seen before? He was a shifter from birth; none of this was new to him. He’d been around the block before countless of times.
My mind went wild with the possibilities of what could have Dylan so riled up. Dylan, the ever cool, ever calm twin, so frantic he had to run to pull me from whatever it was I was doing.
“Henry is so pissed,” Dylan went on as we emerged from the woods, walking along the edge of the crystal-clear lake. We headed through the park, past the playground where a few children ran and laughed, playing tag. “I’ve never seen an elder so angry before. I think he was actually in such a deep rage that he was spitting.”
Hmm. So whatever it was, it couldn’t be too awful, to have made Henry so upset. I would probably like it, and if it was a person, I’d thank them, because anything that upset Henry made me happy.
Heading into town, I knew we walked towards the house Dylan shared with Maze and Landon, and now me, and I grew a little confused. So it definitely wasn’t Jack, then. What could it possibly…
All of my thoughts trailed off when I spotted the back of the person arguing with Henry. They stood in the front lawn, their arms flailing about and the swearwords flying. On the porch, Landon stood, smirking as he watched, though the smirk left his face when he locked gazes with me.
Crystal Lake Pack: The Complete Series: A Reverse Harem Shifter Romance Page 21