Three Arms considered the contents before selecting two mysterious tools, one of which appeared to be a delicate pair of forceps and the other a…Shax had no name for it, but it excreted something. They turned the suit over to the small tear, and in a surprisingly nimble procedure for someone with no fingers, used the liberated tools to patch the tear in their suit. The smooth competence of the procedure made Shax wonder again if all octopus spacers were mechanically inclined or if Three Arms was an engineer of some sort.
After they'd returned the tools and shut the little compartment, Three Arms touched the front of the suit in a complicated pattern. The material split along the front in three places, allowing Three Arms to climb back in, head into helmet first, then one arm at a time. When the last arm had shoved into the tip of its matching sleeve, the suit sealed up again.
"That's handy. Though I suppose if you live a good deal of your life in vacuum, an easily donned suit is more of a necessity." Shax stepped back and caught the blowtorch as it came flying out of the tank. By now, he was expecting it. Three Arms Circling tossed. One was supposed to be paying attention and catch.
With movements that were stiffer and less flowy, Three Arms climbed out of the tank, shuffled right, then left. Finally, they raised four arms above their helmeted head in a ta-dah gesture.
"Capital!" Shax applauded, for the whole operation deserved it. "This will be much better for your safety during takeoff and Copernicus jumps than being stuck in a tank. Leopold, Corny, please make certain Three Arms knows where and how to net in when the alarms sound."
Basking in the glow of being a good captain who solves things, Shax wandered up to the galley, surprisingly empty for once.
"Ms. Ivana, how are we doing, my dear?"
"Oooh, is that a royal we, Captain Hot Stuff?" Ms. Ivana crooned from the galley speakers. "I'll take it, since I am a queen. We're buttoning all the fussy buttons and doing up every last little zipper right now, hon. No more than five minutes."
"Excellent. You are, as always, a wonder, Ms. Ivana."
"Flatterer." Ms. Ivana's voice gave the impression of both eyelash and fan fluttering. "But don't ever stop."
"Never, darling." Shax leaned over and hit the comm pad by the table. "Ver? Ready to get off this rock? Ms. Ivana says we're set to go in five."
"Was ready to ditch this shithole five minutes after we landed," Verin growled back. "You wanna give me some fucking idea on heading, genius?"
"Yes. We're backtracking to the asteroid field."
"Are you out of your pea-brained, ass-backwards tiny little mind?"
"Not as far as I can ascertain, no. Thank you for checking. We have some breathing room, so we need to try to get Three Arms Circling back to their folks. At least make an attempt. You said it yourself. We can't keep them."
"Damn it to all levels, Shaxy."
"If we find trouble, we'll run. Simple as that."
"Nothing's been simple since I met you, you little shit."
Shax grinned broadly at that. "Never bored, though, are you?"
He got a snort for an answer just before Verin bellowed into ship's comm, "Secure your crap or get impaled by it! Takeoff in ten!"
A few moments later, claws clicked on the deck plates in the corridor, and Fluffy trotted to him with an anxious meep.
"Heard that, did you, Miss?" Shax rose from the bench and stretched. "Come with me. We'll strap you into the jump seat in the pilot's pod so you know where I am and you'll be safe."
She trotted along at his side, apparently happier. Even for a hellcat, she understood an astounding amount of non-cat speech, which was why Shax was definitely not mentioning that he always rode in the copilot's chair for takeoff so he wouldn't be embarrassingly sick.
Ness woke from distressing dreams of sorting tiles into an arrangement of boxes that made no sense to him but was obvious to everyone around him. Julian sprawled atop the boxes in the burgundy utility kilt he'd worn for the Yuletide party and nothing else, pointing in a complicated pattern that Ness couldn't decipher, since his brain had focused on the play of muscles across Julian's chest. The launch alarm was sounding. He reached up without thinking and pulled the bunk's netting over him to keep him secure.
Even through launch and the uncomfortable pressure of leaving a gravity well, he couldn't quite escape the muddled fuzz of sleep and the anxious cloud of his dreams. Guilt gnawed at him in strange ways. Images and half-formed thoughts haunted him.
I'm a hypocrite. It's as simple as that. I was so furious at Shax, furious enough to channel new, infernal powers. All over him spending time with Julian. Having a history with Julian. Shared experiences I'll never have with him.
And here he was, thinking about Julian, and not in a pure, platonic sort of way. That was it, then. He'd left everything angelic behind and had become a terrible person. Could one be a demon of jealousy and infidelity? Was that possible or a contradiction in terms? Maybe it would make him explode. It might be best.
He'd pledged his undying love to Shax, his Shax and he did love his demon prince, more than anything. And still…still…he couldn't banish the soft silk of Julian's hair under his fingers, the way the shadows played along that perfect throat.
How am I going to face him and pretend things are normal?
Chapter Eight
Ness dozed fitfully through the flight out-system and only woke properly when Shax strode in after the jump into Copernicus space. He stopped and bent down to regard Ness with a frown.
"Sweetheart? Are you feeling quite the thing?"
"I'm fine," Ness answered, maybe too quickly and emphatically.
"Hmm. I only ask since you're always in such a hurry to de-net. You've said it smushes your wings."
"Oh…yes." Belatedly, Ness unhooked the net and let it slide back into its slot. "I guess I was a little tired."
Shax flopped onto the bed beside him and stretched out with his head in Ness's lap. "Understandable. You had quite the adventure out in the alien wilderness."
Desperate for something to say, Ness managed, "How is everything here?"
"We haven't been engaged in a secretive excrement war or fending off precisely targeted alien life forms, but we have managed to communicate with Three Arms Circling. They've repaired their suit and would like to go home. We are, despite our pilot's protests, making the effort."
"Good. That's…good."
"You seem a little distracted, cupcake. Are you sure you're all right?"
Ness tried a smile and wondered how awful it looked. "Fine. Really. I'm fine."
The look Shax threw him was narrow-eyed and calculating, not something Ness expected from the vantage point of looking down at his lap, generally. But this was Shax. While Ness was scrambling around in his brain for better explanations, a knock on the door interrupted the interrogation.
"Typical," Shax muttered as he scrambled off the bunk to open the door lock. "Come!"
To Ness's horror on several levels, Julian leaned in the doorway, looking delicious and vulnerable in a loose white shirt, black leather pants, and bare feet. Lovely, elegant feet…
Ness lurched up and hurried to the door, concentrating on the one horror that wasn't awkward. "Julian! You shouldn't be up!"
"I'm fine," Julian protested, though a certain grumpiness to the tone said otherwise. "Ms. Ivana said I could leave sickbay."
Still, he looked too gray, and Ness slid an arm around his waist, half-helping, half-pushing him toward the bunk, where he insisted Julian sit. Only then Ness remembered he was naked from the waist up, his bare skin against Julian's thin shirt, his body heat suddenly searing into Ness's bones. He twitched away, stumbling in the process, then backed off farther out of embarrassment.
Shax gave him an unreadable stare that vanished when he smiled at Julian. "She may have said you could go because you sound like a cranky toddler. Had you thought of that?"
"Your highness is as hilarious as he is gracious," Julian said with a little snort. "I might be a little tired."<
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Shax ruffled his hair in a too-familiar way and flung himself into his desk chair across the cabin. "Seems to be catching. To what do we owe the pleasure?"
"I have to have a reason to visit?" Julian's smile returned, partially. Maybe it was the lasting effects of the poison, but Julian seemed so tentative to Ness, as if unsure of his welcome.
And Ness was still staring at his feet. He hurried over to one of the wall cabinets and retrieved an extra blanket. "Your feet. They must be lovely—cold! I mean cold. You shouldn't be barefoot on the deck plates."
Too late, Ness found himself kneeling at Julian's feet, wrapping a blanket around them. It was as if he'd blacked out, since he had no memory of getting there.
Julian had frozen, eyes wide as a rabbit in a spotlight. "Ness…"
"Very thoughtful, sweetheart," Shax intervened softly, a bit too carefully. "It's good to see you up and around, Julian. You had us worried there."
"I have to be honest. Thought my luck had run out there. Ness, thank you. You were superb." Julian gripped Ness's arm and offered a more convincing smile.
Every point where skin met skin was on fire, and instead of making Ness go up in roaring conflagration, it went straight to his groin. He jerked away with a muffled cry, scuttling backward, since he couldn't find his balance, and ended up facing the corner by Shax's closet, head gripped tight in both hands. Tears stung his eyes, but this wasn't the time. It wasn't the time for hiding in a corner, either, but that couldn't be helped.
An arm slipped around his waist. Ness twitched, but he knew by scent, by the weight of that familiar arm, that it was Shax. "What's all this, Ness? Are you ill after all?"
"No. Yes. I can't do this anymore." Ness leaned his burning head against the wall, his eyes squeezed shut so he didn't have to acknowledge the full body blush he knew had happened.
"Can't do what anymore? Cupcake, I'm not ashamed to say you're scaring me here." Shax leaned in, wrapping both arms tight around Ness. Then he took a deep breath in through his nose and went still. "Ah. I see. Well, I suppose that might be disconcerting."
Oh no. Somehow his desire showed so obviously Shax could smell it. Could Julian somehow discern it, too? Was there something he didn't understand about these things that was obvious to others? Worse and worse. "Disconcerting? I'm horrible. The worst lover you could have." Ness pulled in a shuddering breath.
"Just when I think I understand what's going on." Shax sighed. "I'm going to say it quite plainly, and then it's your turn. You're attracted to Julian. Sexually attracted. The scent is impossible to hide."
From the bed, Julian murmured, "Oh gods. Shax, that wasn't delicate at all."
"Some things call for blunt instruments."
"No need to tell me that, but this is Ness."
Ness banged his head against the wall. Now Julian, who usually communicated with teasing and irony, felt bad for him, which only made it all worse.
"I'm not upset. Julian's not upset," Shax said gently, stroking Ness's shoulder. "Maybe you could tell me why you're upset?"
Muffled muttering came from the bunk. "Julian's definitely leaning toward upset, and not with Ness, I'd like to add."
"Hush, you. Ness?"
"I'm such a hypocrite," Ness whispered through the granite boulder lodged in his throat. "I raged at you for going to see Julian, and you didn't even do anything. Jealous and suspicious and now…this."
Shuffling came from the bunk, and Ness turned in time to see Julian stand with the extra blanket clutched to his chest. "I think I should go."
"That's the last thing you should be doing." Shax pointed at the bed, all royal imperiousness. "Sit down, Agent Parallax." Julian sat while Shax turned his haughty and expectant gaze on Ness. "Now you, cupcake. Go sit down."
Mortified and ashamed, Ness slunk over to the bunk and eased down onto it as far away from Julian as possible. Shax plunked down between them in a way that made Ness wonder if he was losing patience, but his tone was still gentle when he spoke again.
"My angel." Shax took his hand with a little squeeze. "I think, maybe, that you're getting all tangled in the concept of one and only."
Ness stared at his feet. "I made you promise to be faithful to me."
"Now, now, you know better than that. No one could make me promise anything." Shax stroked the back of Ness's hand with his thumb. "And you know quite well you're not my first."
"I know," Ness whispered miserably. So far, this wasn't at all comforting.
Shax abruptly changed tactics and offered a warm smile. "Do you recall the lovely throuple we met on Titan recently? What were their names?"
Puzzled, since Shax wouldn't forget such a thing, Ness blurted out, "Jade, Barna, and…Twig?"
"Those would be the ones. Did any of them strike you as unhappy?"
"I… I don't think so."
Shax's smile slipped a hair. "So which one was the one and only?"
"That's completely different."
"It is." Shax gave a little nod. "Julian, why is it completely different?"
Julian made an uncomfortable sound. He pulled his feet up onto the bed, arms wrapped around his knees. "Ness isn't a child, Shax."
"No, he's not. He's an ancient immortal who lived nearly the entirety of his life in a closely regimented, isolated environment. Being thrust out into the chaos that's the rest of the universe has shown him to be one of the most adaptable beings I have ever met. But even Ness hasn't been able to learn everything all at once."
"Of course." Julian hunched a little smaller as he said, "If you met a throuple, you've seen they have a specific arrangement, one that's only their business. But you better believe they've all talked about it and set boundaries and expectations. While we've just been fumbling around and stepping on each other's toes."
"Just so." Shax patted Julian's knee with a firm nod.
Ness had understood all the words. He even understood the concepts, since he had read up on polyamory and had gotten caught up in its possible variations. But still his brain felt like it might explode. Shax was saying…what, exactly? "I don't think I truly understand."
Shax moved around to kneel in front of him, holding Ness's gaze with the intensity of his own. For a moment, a hundred thoughts rode in those black eyes—Ness knew him well enough by now—a hundred explanations, a hundred justifications. But in the end, Shax shook his head and only love shone there, fond, warm, and familiar. "You find Julian attractive. No, let me back up. You are attracted to Julian."
Ness winced. "Yes."
"And I'm attracted to Julian—no, don't bristle. This isn't news." Shax held both Ness's hands tight. "And I do believe you both still have feelings for me."
Julian let out a raw laugh but didn't deny it. Ness nodded, not trusting himself to speak.
"And by his reactions, I have a suspicion that Julian finds you attractive as well."
"Who wouldn't?" Julian's attempt at glib collapsed in a sigh. "Yes. Desperately, unattainably attractive. And I thought I was being relatively discreet, your highness."
"I grew up in a royal court. Do you really think these things get by me? Ness." Shax leaned forward, his black eyes boring into him. "I give my consent. Do you understand?"
That statement was so unexpected, dizzy waves washed over Ness. "But why?"
"Why, he asks." Shax raised his eyes to the ceiling as if asking for patience. "Because I'm more than fond of you both. Because it breaks my heart to see you both unhappy, and I do so want all of us to be happy."
Warmth blossomed in Ness's stomach, not the terrible heat of shame that still occupied most of the space, but a more diffuse and pleasant heat. "You think I'm ridiculous. Getting all tangled up and upset like this."
"No." The flat denial shocked Ness, but Shax went on. "Possessiveness is a key component of your new demonic nature. You needed to work through that first, and I could have saved us both a good deal of grief if I'd been astute enough to figure that out a good bit earlier. My darling angel, the heart exists on a
n infinite piece of real estate. You can add as many new rooms as you desire without risking the integrity of the existing ones."
"Oh." Ness returned to staring at his feet. He should have felt relieved but instead felt small and tired, as if he would never catch up with more worldly beings.
Shax stood and brushed the nonexistent dust from his knees. "I should go and let you two have some space."
"No!" Ness and Julian turned to each other, equally shocked at their vehement, perfectly coordinated mutual denials.
"I see." Shax gave them a regal nod as he settled back down. "Of course, of course. I am the fulcrum here, after all."
"Just a small part in a simple machine." Julian heaved a theatrical sigh. "And here I thought I was dealing with someone important all these years."
"Hilarious, Parallax. Could we stay on topic, perhaps?"
A little smile migrated up from Ness's weary heart. Their exchanges were often like this: tart, amusing mini-duels. But Ness had been unable to hear them before without a filter of irritation, or later, guilt.
Julian leaned forward to peer around Shax, his expression devoid of mischief. "Ness, the thing is…with a polyamorous group, everyone knows what's happening. It's not cheating, infidelity, or anything to feel horrible about if everyone's agreed. If Shax doesn't think your feelings for me are cheating, then it's a terrible thing to do to yourself to still insist they are."
"And no one gets jealous?" Ness matched Julian's lean, shivering when Shax used the opportunity to stroke his wings. "No one feels… left out?"
Julian reached across Shax's lap to twine their fingers together. "Of course they do. It's not like becoming a triad suddenly makes people perfect. Jealousy, anger, lonely moments—all the things you can have with two? They don't magically change with three."
"I… No, I didn't think that." Ness chewed on his bottom lip as he traced Julian's fingers with his thumb. The nailbeds still showed a hint of blue. Tiny tremors ran up from Julian's arms. Ness realized with a shock that this was hard on both of them. "Would you, Julian? Agree to…to being a triad?"
The Hunt for Red Fluffy Page 10