by J C Gilbert
Elaine could one day end up like the old woman I saw in The Library, and maybe I was the only one who could prevent that.
I wanted to go home to a quiet house with everyone in bed. I just couldn't face them today. When the moon had risen a fair way into the sky, I stood up.
“Leaving?” asked Elaine. She almost sounded disappointed which was weird. It's not a though we were talking.
“Yeah, I gotta get some sleep.”
“Why not sleep here?”
“Maybe another time. Thanks for everything. That duck was cool, scary, but cool.”
“Hey, no problem.”
I opened up Elaine’s book and began to read. I was conscious that Elaine’s eyes were on me. I glanced up at her just before falling into the book. She met my gaze for a moment and then looked away.
I landed in The Library in a crouch. I stood up and was about to pick up Alice when a thought struck me.
I opened Elaine’s book again and fell back into her world. As I hoped, I landed some distance from the circle of the fire. I crept forward through the darkness.
The stars overhead filled the sky in a way that I never saw back home.
Pickles was sat on the ground in a huddle. It seemed like he was sleeping. I found the tree which his harness was tied to and felt for the knot. I fumbled with it for a few moments, and it began to loosen.
The rope dropped to the ground with a thud. Pickles’ eyes flickered open. “Nice duck,” I said, “now let me take off that harness.”
Pickles quacked.
“Shhhh. Just let me-”
He quacked again and stood up, ruffling his feathers.
“Now just hold still.”
Pickles began to run. For a moment I thought about running after him. I wanted to take off that harness so he could be properly free, but it was too late. I shrugged in the darkness.
He was free enough.
It was after midnight when I was finally back in my room. I was as tired as I have ever been.
The notification light on my phone winked at me accusingly. A pang of guilt shot up from somewhere in my gut and careered right into my heart. I turned on my phone's screen.
There were 10 unread messages, all from Lilly.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
“Shoot,” I hissed.
I’m really sorry.
I sent it without reading any of Lilly’s messages. I just couldn't handle them tonight, but I needed to know that she was OK. I lay down on my bed, gripping my phone tightly, hoping that Lilly wasn't angry with me, and wishing that things had gone differently.
Sleep took me.
As soon as I was awake, I grabbed for my phone and swiped it unlocked.
Nothing.
I thought for a moment about reading Lilly’s messages, just in case there was something in them that would let me know how angry she was with me, but I couldn't do it. I just wanted everything to be OK.
No Lilly was waiting for me at the front gates of the school either. I waited right up until the bell rang, just in case she was running late, but she was nowhere to be seen.
I had really screwed up this time.
All through my morning classes, my mind whirred with a thousand different ways in which I could apologize, a thousand ways in which I could make it up to her.
I couldn't concentrate.
At lunchtime, I saw Lilly from across the courtyard. She saw me, but then pointedly turned away and sat with some of her other friends. She always had other friends, she was just that kind of person. I sat alone with my lunch and my phone.
Once I had built up the courage, I opened her messages and began to read. It was painful. After my text saying that I couldn't come her first reply was full of concern and encouragement. Her care made me ache when contrasted to the look she had just given me. I kept reading and somewhere between the hun? and hello? it seemed that she had gotten mad. The last few were the most painful as she started saying what she really felt, culminating with:
If you can't even be bothered messaging me back then I don’t know that we should bother being friends! It’s clearly too much of an inconvenience!
I sat alone all lunch. I couldn't read, I didn't want to go into The Library, I couldn't really do anything. I just sat, absorbing time as it went by. The sky was changing, becoming charged as it does before a storm. Ordinarily, I would have loved that. Today I didn’t care.
Lilly was in all my classes after lunch, but she persisted in avoiding my gaze. I just wanted her to understand that I didn't flake on the date to hurt her, I wanted her to understand that I just couldn't handle it. I wanted her to shake her head at me as she always did with my weird ways and just say: ‘you’re a worry, Alex.’
I couldn't even get her to talk to me.
There was only one thing I could do to make it up to her. I would have to take her to The Library. There was no way she could stay angry at me.
Determination swelled in my chest, and my dull mood gave way to excitement over my decision. All I needed to do was talk to her alone. I would say sorry and then show her the book. Everything was going to be OK.
After school Lilly left class quickly. I followed after her best I could but lost her in the hoards of students. I caught sight of her heading to the exit at the back of the field.
I hurried after her.
She was already halfway across the grass now, a black figure against a field of green.
“Lilly!” I called.
She didn't stop but kept on marching towards the bank of trees on the far side. I quickened my pace and then started to run. Somewhere in the distance thunder cracked. Soon the field would be a swamp.
“Lilly, I’m sorry!”
She stopped walking and turned around. She had a bitter expression. It seemed strange on her usually sunny face. It stung me to the core.
“What are you doing here, Alex?”
“Lilly, I’m sorry. I messed up.”
“Yeah, you messed up,” she said flatly.
“I was having an awful day,” I said, feeling stupid even as the words escaped my lips.
“So you thought you would share it around? What's your deal, Alex? I mean I get that things are hard for you sometimes, but I don't get how you can be such a shit friend.”
“My anxiety. You don't know what it’s like.”
“I’m a human being, Alex! Of course I know what it's like. Do you think you are the only one who gets it? Like you are somehow special? You aren't.”
“Hey,” I said, anger flaring up inside.
“I was super anxious yesterday, Alex. I needed my friend with me to support me, but instead of being able to look after myself I had to look after you, coax you out, try and convince you not to hurt me. I don't need that in my life.”
“I didn't ask you to.”
“You never do! You just wait around for people to come to your rescue. Well, I’m done being your hero. Find someone else to carry you.”
My face contorted and my eyes welled with tears.
“Save it,” said Lilly, coldly, “I’m not going to comfort you when you are the one that hurt me.”
I couldn't take the way she was looking at me like I was worthless. I turned and started to run for the school. As I did the rain poured down around me.
CHAPTER THIRTY
I needed to get away now. Once inside the school, I pulled out Alice and read the first line, heedless of where I was.
I left a trail of footprints as I walked through The Library. All I wanted was to jump into one of these books and never come back. No one would miss me.
Lilly was supposed to be the one person that understood me, the one person who could put up with my weirdness. I shook my head. She was just like all the others, after all. She told me that she liked me and didn't find me annoying while secretly she was getting more and more frustrated with me every day.
I looked about The Library for the fireplace, half blind with tears and rage and sorrow.
The sound of fast foot
fall on the tiled ground made me pause. I turned around to see an eight-foot gorilla galloping towards me.
“Alex,” she said, catching her breath, “you mustn't go into a book like that.”
I looked down at my wet clothes and back up at the Librarian. “I’m looking for the fireplace to dry them,” I sobbed.
“Not the clothes Alex, with a mood that strong. The books are sensitive, you know. If you enter a story with a mood as foul as yours, you risk putting yourself and others in great danger.”
“My mood is fine,” I barked.
The Librarian smiled a knowing smile. “I am a librarian, Alex. You cannot fool a librarian.”
“So what am I supposed to do?”
“Do whatever you need to feel better, just don't go into a book.”
“But books are how I feel better!” I protested.
“Then you are going to have to find some new ways. That is unless you want to die.”
“Alright!” I said.
Being called out on my mood made me feel even worse. I found the fireplace and took off my jacket and socks. The rest would just have to dry on me.
I curled up and tried not to exist.
I lay there for quite some time, listening to the distant tick of a clock, and watching the fire dance. At length, I decided that I was calm enough to enter a book.
I found Elaine’s book and soon felt myself being sucked inside.
I landed in the middle of a sparse pine forest. Sunlight was poking through the canopy. The ground was uneven but easily walkable. The distinct scent of pine filled my awareness and reminded me distantly of Christmas.
Somewhere out of sight, a stream burbled on.
Elaine was nowhere to be seen. This was strange, but I didn't much care, I didn't exactly feel like talking to anyone.
Now that I was on my feet my mind just kept spinning back to Lilly and how unfair she was being. It’s not my fault that I feel anxiety like I do.
Sure, I felt stink thinking that maybe she felt it too and I wasn't there for her. But I was just so used to her being the confident one that it seemed ridiculous to think that anything about our inner worlds could really be the same.
I screamed at a nearby tree, feeling childish as soon as the noise escaped me.
The world shook, and I fell to the ground.
I landed in the soft pine needles. A pinecone prevented the fall from being painless. I sat up, eyes wide.
Did I just cause an earthquake?
“Damn it!” shouted a voice from somewhere nearby. I looked up in the direction of the voice. It was a male voice, and sounded upset. I hesitated and then walked toward the sound.
There, getting to his feet and dusting himself off was a man. He was short, bald, and wore a black and white checkered coat. His shoes had bells on the end.
“I’m sorry, did I frighten you?” I asked, cautiously.
“Frighten me, sa? Yes, sa. Thought it was a dragon, sa. I'm quite relieved to see that you are just a girl, sa, pardon me for saying.”
“That's OK. I’m Alex.”
“Pleasure to meet you, Alex. I’m Mason, aren't I.”
“I don't know, are you?
“Ah, yes, sa.”
“Where are we, Mason?”
“Deep in the deep forest, sa. I am on a sacred errand, you see. A quest! I am journeying over field and fountain, and, er…”
“And what?”
“And lakes, sa. There was a lake back yonder, actually. Have to say I liked the field the best, sa. But who's keeping score?”
“You are apparently.”
“Until the day I die, sa.”
“What is your quest?”
“A grave one indeed, sa. I was charged with a sacred duty, sa. And I have every intent on following it through, sa!”
“Why do you keep saying ‘sa’?”
He looked puzzled for a moment. “Didn't realize I was saying that out loud. I’ll say it in my head from now on.” He adjusted his hat, “well you see, s-, well you see, I was in the employ of Lady Tabatha.”
He puffed himself up with importance.
“Lady Tabatha?”
Mason started to tear up. “I’m sorry, it makes me sad just thinking about what happened.”
“Well I don't want to make you sad.”
“I couldn't really get sadder, you know. Sad as sad. Just thinking about her, beak, feather, and claw. I don't care. She was a real lady.”
“Apart from the beak?”
“She never used to have a beak. Not until recently. If she did, then I’m sure she kept it well hidden. Lips are all ever I saw. No, she was turned into a parrot.”
“A parrot?”
“Beautiful, actually, red and green. Lovely plumage.”
“Oh.”
“So sad. Was the sorceress Vicious who done it. Always jealous of her power, she was. That's where I’m headed now, actually. I’m going to perform a daring rescue.”
“Do you have much experience in daring rescues?”
“Not strictly speaking, no. I do have a wooden sword though. Want to see me flourish?”
“If that is something that you do with your sword then go ahead.”
“Alright, watch this,” he drew a tattered wooden sword from a cloth sheath at his belt. He lost his grip on the handle, and it flew off into a bush. “Right, whoops. Yes, that does happen. I'll just go get that. He waddled off into the undergrowth, his enormous shoes flapping, the bells on his toes chiming.
“It's a long way to her lair,” he said as he stumbled back onto the path. The effort had him gasping for breath, “so I’ll have plenty of time to practice drawing my sword.”
“What exactly did you do for Lady Tabatha before she was, er, transformed?”
“Made a fool of myself, mostly.”
“You are a fool?”
“I’m no one’s fool!” he said, his mouth wide with shock, “but I am a jester.”
“Of course, sorry. Well, Vicious sounds quite dangerous. Are you sure you aren't better off leaving the rescue to someone with a real sword?”
“She was always kind to me, sa, and the citadel ain't going to send anyone off to find her. They said I’d be a fool to try. I had to tell ‘em that I would be a jester to try. I'm always correcting people.”
He was resolute. Fortunately for him, it didn't seem like he was at all capable of going on a long journey. It was likely that Elaine would get to the Hollow Hills long before this strange man.
Elaine had an aura of capability about her which made me think that she at least had a chance against the sorceress. If anyone read Mason’s aura, then it was probably saying that he better stick with inside jobs.
“Well, I must be off, sa. The road ahead is dangerous.”
“Good luck!”
“A pleasure to have conversed with you. Do you mind if I make a personal remark, sa?”
“O…K…”
“It's nothing bad or nothing, just, Lady Tabatha. You remind me a little of her.”
“Thank you.”
“Highest form of praise I know. Well, farewell.” He bowed awkwardly, spun around, and fell over.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Gingerly, Mason got to his feet and waddle-marched down the track and through the pines. When he was down a little way he started singing, “da-da da-da-da.” It sounded exactly like one of the songs from the Lord of the Rings movies.
I was wandering among the trees for a while before I came upon Elaine. She was standing with her back to a rather broad tree. I startled her.
“Are you OK?” I asked.
“What? Yeah, yeah I’m fine. What’s up with you? Have a swim?”
I looked down at my shirt. It was still wet from the rain at school. I guess it was strange to see someone soaking wet on such a fine day.
“It’s raining back home.”
“Strange.”
“Hey, I ran into someone else looking for your sister. Did you know that others were looking for her?”
“I don’t think he was the type.”
Elaine shrugged. “Well, my sister will be food for the sorceress if we don't get to her soon.”
“That's so gross.”
“At least she turns people into animals before she eats them.”
“That's supposed to make it better?”
“It is a little better.”
“No, it's not.”
“Fine, whatever. Well, we are going to need to pick up our pace now. That duck wandered off after you left. We are going to have to walk the rest of the way.”
“Oh dear. Is it far?”
“Not too far.”
Elaine led me through a trail between the trees. She seemed to know her way around pretty well. Our path climbed up a ridge for a time. The cover changed from pine to an eclectic array of trees I couldn't name. The undergrowth grew thick.
After a while, I could hear the sound of a strong river ahead. As we got closer it roared.
“Will we be crossing that river?” I asked. I was a little worried that I might actually have to swim after all.
“Sure will. Don't worry, there is a bridge.”
We walked a little further. After a time Elaine held up her hand for me to stop. She crouched.
“See him there?” she pointed to a man standing by the bridge on our side.
“Yeah, I see him.”
“We need to get past him in order to cross.”
“Do we pay him?” I asked.
“Yeah, but I’m going to need your help with this one.”
“Me?” My heart skipped a beat.
“Don't look so terrified. I just need you to do the talking, that's all.”
“That's all?!”
“Well, you remember how I was in a prison when you met me.”
“Vaguely.”
“And all those men who chased us through the city?”
“I remember something like that.”
“Well, they all still think I’m responsible for my sister’s disappearance. I’ll need you to do the talking. If he recognizes me we could both be in big trouble. Once we are over and in the next county, I shouldn’t have any problems. People don’t know me there.”