by J C Gilbert
“With television, I hear,” said Mom.
“Gradual exposure is the most effective method of desensitization,” said Lilly.
“I’m sure it is,” said Mom.
Once we were in my room, Lilly went about the usual process of setting up the TV. I watched her, wondering if our lives would ever be the same in just a few moments.
“Hey Lilly, I want to show you something.”
“Give me a second.”
“Don't worry about the TV. This is more important.”
“More important than watching Game of Thrones for the fifth time?” asked Lilly, spinning around and covering her mouth in shock.
“Yeah,” I must have looked serious because Lilly's eyebrows dropped into a frown.
“What's up?” she asked, compassion hanging in her looks.
“Oh, nothing bad. It's this.” I held out Alice.
“An old book! Cool,” said Lilly, grabbing for it.
I pulled it away from her, noticing that I was shaking as I did.
“An old book that I’m forbidden to touch?”
“Kinda. Look, this book isn't an ordinary book. It's kind of a portal.”
“That's what my dad always used to say about books when he was trying to get me to read more. Are you trying to get me to read more, Alex? Are you my dad?”
I smiled. How do you break it to someone that the normal world is not normal at all? I guess you just gotta show them.
“Take my hand,” I said.
“O…K…,” said Lilly, hesitantly closing her fingers around mine.
I opened the book and began to read the first line.
“Alice was beginning to get very tired,” I said aloud.
“Oh, story time!” said Lilly. Well, that's what she was probably going to say. What actually came out was more along the lines of: “Oh, story ti-aahhhshit.”
Together we plunged and plummeted through the whirling pages and the airless air. I felt awful for how scared Lilly must have felt at that moment, remembering my first encounter with The Library. But there really was no other way.
Within moments we had transported from the quiet of my suburban bedroom to the largest library that ever there was.
I was pretty used to the procedure by this point and generally landed on my feet when I came through. Lilly, on the other hand, lay sprawled, face down on the tiles.
“You OK?” I asked, cocking my head.
Lilly rolled onto her back and stared up into the endless ceiling.
“Gnorts,” she said, “what happened to your roof?”
“This is my other house,” I said.
Lilly sat up, leaning on her elbows, and looked around. “Am I in a library?”
“Yup.”
“Why am I in a library?”
“Well, you know how I said portal. Well-”
“You meant a literal honest to god portal. Like a wormhole in a book?”
“I guess so,” I said, imagining a worm burrowing through my book and wondering how I would go about re-homing such a worm.
“Alex! There is so much room for activities!”
“An interesting reaction.”
“This is a freaking library, Alex! You have been keeping this in your bag? It's kind of like your own little Tardis. No, this is way cooler.”
“Please keep your voices down in The Library,” said the Librarian, peering down at Lilly with curiosity. “I wish you would tell me before you bring friends here, Miss Reed.”
“Sorry,” I said.
“By the way, have you seen Mr. O’Connor? I seem to have lost him.”
I shook my head.
The Librarian shrugged and returned to her work.
Lilly watched as the Librarian started climbing up one of the shelf ladders. “Is that a gorilla?” she asked in a whisper.
“Yeah.”
“Does she know?”
I stared at Lilly blankly.
“Well, show me around, would you? I wanna see all the things.”
“This place is too enormous to see all the things. But I can show you the pretty cool things I have found so far.”
I led Lilly to my reading nook, and she met the black cat. It trotted up to her and rubbed its face on her leg.
“You have a kitty!”
“Well, I don't think it is mine. I think it belongs to itself.”
“You are so progressive, Alex,” she picked up the cat and wrapped her arms around it, “I’ll be coming back to visit this kitty. You know that right?”
“Of course,” I said, smiling.
We sat down, and I started wondering about how I would tell her about the stories. She seemed to be handling The Library fairly well, but Elaine’s story was another thing entirely.
“This place is so cool,” said Lilly, almost to herself. “It's so you, Alex, you know that? It's like Alex Heaven. Wait, you're not dead, are you?”
“I hope not. If I am then at least there are books.”
I led her through rows and rows of shelves, wanting her to see everything through my eyes. She ran up to a book, picked it up, and started flicking through. I hurried to her side and managed to close it before she read anything.
“You have to be careful. Don't read the books, OK?”
“But it is a library, Alex. What else do we do here?”
“We can read them later, but just wait for me to pick one, OK?”
“Yes, Dad.”
I placed the book back, and we continued through The Library. Soon the familiar blue glow of the Library’s Heart was casting its soft luminescence over the shelves around us.
“This is very strange,” said Lilly, “where is this light coming from?”
I stopped Lilly a few meters away from the hovering orb. “This is The Library’s Heart.”
“Is the library depressed?”
“Just don’t.”
“Because it's blue.”
“I know.”
“It's depressed because it's blue.”
I nodded. “I see the connection.”
“Blue.”
“This is a piece of the void of creation,” I said. The words sounded weird in my own voice, “It’s where the books draw energy. It’s where all creation draws energy. It is outside of time, and it is outside of space.”
“Can I touch it?”
“No. The Librarian was very clear on that. If anything goes in, then something has to come out apparently, and that is a really bad thing.”
“You say that, but now I just want to jump in. Thanks, Alex.”
“You are a worry. OK, next spot on the tour is the maps area.”
“It's going to have to be pretty amazing to top the spinning lightning orb of creation. Next time lead with the maps and build up to the orb.”
When we got to the maps area, Lilly immediately started running from one to the next. She shook her head and then ran to another map. “What are you doing?”
“I’m trying to find my house, of course. Wasn't that the first thing you did?”
“Honestly didn't occur to me.”
“I don't even know these places. Oh cool, a map of Middle Earth!”
“Really?” I said, running over. I looked through the glass at the map. It was the same as was printed in the front of Tolkien’s books. Unless I had missed something, then this map would lead me straight to his world. Did that mean it was real?
I could spend some serious time in the Shire, but that would be for another day. Lilly wandered over to the next map and then the next. I was in the midst of looking for a map of Hogwarts when I heard Lilly scream.
I darted to where she was standing, but I was too slow.
Lilly was gone.
CHAPTER FORTY
A glass cabinet was open and there on the floor was a map of some place called Pai. I picked it up and tried to figure out where Lilly might have been looking. After scanning the map for a moment, I saw that there was a place labeled The Witching Well. That had to be it. I pressed my forefi
nger to the map and fell in.
I found myself sitting in a cafe. It was warm here, too warm for the sweater I was wearing. I scanned the area, looking for anything out of the ordinary. There were a lot of people walking about. They looked like travelers.
Lilly was sitting at one of the tables, apparently scrolling on her phone. She looked up and saw me.
“Alex, oh my god, we are in Thailand!” She held up her phone for me to see. A couple at the next table gave us a look.
“Here you are,” said a woman, placing a coffee in front of Lilly.
“Thanks,” said Lilly, picking it up and taking a sip. “What?” she asked when she caught my look.
“You ordered a coffee?”
“It’s a coffee shop, Alex. Hey, you wouldn't be able to tell me how to get back to The Library once you have gone through a map could you?”
“You just press the map,” I said looking at the map in my hand.
“I didn't get a map,” said Lilly looking around.
“I think maybe I’m the only one who gets maps.”
“Oh, Miss Ladeedah. Well I’m the only one who gets coffee,” she took a sip, “it's good too.”
It was nice there, just too warm for me. Once Lilly was done and had paid the lady with the wrong amount of money in the wrong currency, we returned to The Library.
“So that was cool. You are right. I mean, a piece of the void of creation looks good on paper, but instant travel without airfares? The maps definitely win.”
“There is one other thing that I want to show you.”
“Don’t tell me its better than the maps. It's not possible. I’m all about the maps.”
“It’s possible.”
I led her back to my nook. Picking up Elaine’s book from the shelf I sat down and opened it up.
“Reading time again?” asked Lilly, her look skeptical.
“Well, you know how we can go into the maps.”
“Yes.”
“Well…”
“Miss Reed, are you telling me we can go in?”
“That is indeed what I’m telling you.”
“Huh,” she said, distantly.
“What?”
That's when I noticed that she was holding a book. I cocked my head to read its title. It was Darcy’s book. “We can't go in that one,” I said, snatching it from her.
“Hey, why not?”
“Because it's rude, Lilly. It's like his diary, only a lot more personal.”
“An excellent reason to have a look around.”
“No.”
“Come one! He is so mysterious.”
“He has reasons for being mysterious,” I said. I immediately regretted betraying that I knew more about him.
“You read it didn't you?” asked Lilly. She grabbed hold of the book and ran across the room.
I stood up, my heart pounding. “Give it here!” I said. It was like I was talking to a dog.
Lilly smiled, her eyes twinkling. She opened the book and began to read.
“Lilly, no!” I rushed forward but was not in time. She was being sucked into the pages of the book.
Almost as soon as the book hit the ground, I had picked it up again and was reading the first line.
Dad was away on one of his trips…
When I landed, I found that I was standing in the hallway of a house. I guessed it must have been Darcy’s family home. Up ahead Lilly was standing in a doorway, one hand on the frame.
Quietly, I walked up behind her. Her eyes were fixed on something in the living room. I peered over her shoulder. There, curled up on a couch was a boy. His face was red and covered in tears. He was sobbing to himself and clutching an orange sweater. He held it tightly to his chest. He held it and wept.
It was Darcy, but Darcy as I remembered him from middle school.
I tapped Lilly on the shoulder. She turned to me, her eyes now filled with tears as well. She nodded and wiped the tears from her cheeks. “Sorry,” she mouthed and tried to smile.
Turning away from the scene, we returned to The Library. We sat quietly for a moment, processing what we had seen, wondering what happened to that little boy, wondering what happened to Darcy.
“What do you think that was about?” Lilly asked.
“I don’t know. Do you remember if anything major happened to him? I mean, people talk.”
“No, nothing. I guess whatever it was, he kept it to himself. Do you think there is some way we could find out?”
“I think that if Darcy wants to tell us about it, then he will tell us about it.”
“Yeah, I guess you are right.” Lilly sighed and smiled at me weakly, “so what's this book you wanted to show me?”
We landed on the shores of a stony lake. I looked about for Elaine, but it seemed like this was one of those times where the book dropped me a little way off from her.
Then I saw Mason. He was down by the lakeside, apparently bathing his hands. I felt a pang of guilt. Though I knew logically that what Elaine did to him at the bar wasn't my fault, it still felt like it was my fault.
“Hello there,” I said, walking cautiously towards him. My feet crunched in the large pebbles. It was a nice day there, but cold.
“You know this man?” asked Lilly, putting on a voice.
“Kind of. I have run into him a few times.”
He didn't notice that we were there until we were almost right behind him. He looked up, eyes wide.
“Hello-” I started.
“Stay away from me, sa. I mean miss. Just you stay back!”
“I’m sorry about what happened the other night.”
“What did you do?” asked Lilly. She was clearly finding it all very amusing and didn't seem to notice the distress I was in.
“Wickedness, that's what. My poor hands,” said Mason, holding them up in front of his face and inspecting them, “I can hardly eat, let alone carry me gear. The flourishing has taken a turn for the worse too. I’m a damaged man!”
“Let me see if I can help you,” I said. I was not used to having such pain and anger directed toward me. I felt very uncomfortable.
Mason stumbled back, put his hands back to ease his fall, and then howled in pain when he landed on them.
“Look what you've done now!” he screamed.
“I’m sorry-”
“Just go!” he said.
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
I wanted to cry. Lilly was now looking suitably worried for the man. “Come on,” I said, my heart full.
“His hands,” she said.
When we were well away from the lake, I found a tree to fall against. I wanted to find Elaine and tell her to go fix what she had done. I didn't even know if she could heal Mason’s hands again. The way he looked at me really shook me. It was like I was some kind of monster. I looked vaguely at my hands. Was I a monster? I remembered the way Darcy looked when he found that he had been transported to The Library.
“What happened to him?” asked Lilly, kneeling down next to me and placing a hand on my shoulder.
“It was the other night. Elaine set his hands on fire. I don't know why, but she did.”
“Well, she sounds like a piece of work,” said Lilly.
“She's just had a different sort of life, alright?”
“I’ll bet,” said Lilly, “but it doesn't mean it's your fault, OK? She is an individual and makes choices of her own. I mean, I could say something about you choosing to spend time with her, but I won't.”
“This is her book, Lilly. I kind of have to help her out. It's my job now.”
“Most people who get part time jobs at the library just file books away and mind the desk. I mean there are definitely perks to this place, but just remember that you can't save everyone. You can walk with people for a while and help them on their path, but what they do is up to them. And sometimes what they do is set fire to people’s hands. Any librarian who expects you to fix that in your spare time is asking way too much.”
“I guess.”
“Now, it's been a pretty freaking incredible afternoon, Alex. I mean, I challenge you to top it, like, ever. You have definitely become my favorite for the next Doctor. But right now I think maybe it's time we go back to the real world and watch some Netflix.”
I smiled. “Sounds like the best.”
The following evening I decided it was time to confront Elaine over what happened on Friday night. I mean, she was drunk, but that's no excuse for setting a man's hands on fire. And it is not really an explanation as to why she laughed so much about it.
I knew what Hank wanted. Hank wanted to avoid the subject and pretend that nothing happened. But I was starting to realize that Hank pretty much always had the worst plans and yet I always put him in the driver's seat. It sucked, but I was going to have to confront her.
I found her in the wilderness pulling herself through some thick grass. I waited for her ahead in the path. She must have noticed my expression.
“What's up?” she asked.
“We need to talk.”
“About what?”
“The man whose hands you set on fire the other night.”
“You don't happen to know where he is, do you? I wonder if he has a firm handshake. He did such a good job screaming. He deserves a high-five.” Elaine scanned my face with wide and laughing eyes, waiting for me to join in.
"He was really hurt, Elaine."
“He will heal.”
“Elaine, what you did to him sucked. Like, seriously sucked.”
“What I did to him was freaking hilarious. What is it with you, Alex? Do you know him?”
“His name is Mason. He is a good guy.”
“What you want me to say? I'm sorry okay. I find this kind of thing hard.”
“What kind of thing would that be?”
“This whole ‘what you're supposed to do around other people’ thing. When Tabatha was around, she helped me with that. She helped me with what was right and what was wrong. Without her, I have lost my compass.”
“Well yes, I can see that it sucks, but you have got to stop hurting people.” I thought of the fox for a moment. “And hurting animals for that matter.”
“Oh yeah, you were so funny about the fox.”