by Nicole René
“Your father deserved to die,” Xavier bellowed. “If I could do it again, I would—but this time I would make sure he suffered more than an arrow to his throat!”
Asten let out a battle cry and slammed into Xavier. He gripped him around his legs, lifting him off his feet as he continued to run forward, before slamming him on the ground.
Xavier landed hard on his back, the breath knocked out of him. Asten took his moment of weakness to pound his fists into his face. Xavier grunted in pain, but blocked Asten’s next blow, then landed one of his own. They grappled each other for a while, giving in to a much more primal way of fighting. They rolled, both trying to get the upper hand.
Xavier brought his leg between them and wrapped it around Asten’s neck, giving his torso a sharp twist that sent him tumbling sideways. He choked as Xavier squeezed tight, cutting off his air supply.
“How’s it feel to know you’re going to die by the same man who killed your father?” Xavier snarled hatefully. “Oh wait,” he said sarcastically, dark humor lighting his eyes. “I wasn’t a man yet when I killed him.”
Asten was furious. Xavier realized he shouldn’t have gotten cocky. Asten reached behind him, pulling out the dagger from a holster hidden inside his pant leg and ramming it down into Xavier’s leg.
The pain made his grip on Asten’s neck loosen enough for him to take advantage of that weakness and pull away, yanking the dagger out of Xavier’s leg as he did. Xavier stumbled to his feet, blood seeping through his fingers as he limped away from Asten. He breathed through his pain.
They realized at the same time they were without their swords, having been too enraged with each other to keep them in their grips. Xavier eyed the ground; their swords had landed right next to each other. He looked up, exchanging a glare with Asten.
There was a split second of hesitation before they both dove.
Xavier knew the moment his feet left the ground, arm stretched out ahead of him, he wasn’t going to be the one to reach a sword first. It all boiled down to luck. Asten was closer.
Asten fell to the ground. His hand gripped the hilt, and he turned.
Xavier couldn’t stop him.
His body heaved as Asten’s sword pierced through his flesh as easily as lightning sliced through rain clouds.
Asten’s eyes flashed with victory when Xavier slowly looked up, dazed. For the first time since he was seven years old, he had been bested. Asten’s eyes slanted, and with great zeal he wrenched the blade free.
Xavier jerked, pain compressing his face. Asten stood and looked down at Xavier when he toppled over sideways.
Asten pointed his blood-tipped sword down at Xavier, his expression filled with sadistic pleasure.
“How’s it feel to know you’re going to die by the son of the man who killed your parents?” Asten questioned, throwing Xavier’s words back at him.
Xavier didn’t give him the satisfaction of replying. Asten’s face twisted into a snarl. He raised his sword above him to deliver the finishing blow.
“Stop!”
Asten froze, his sword still held high above his head as he stared in front of him, shocked.
For there, in front of them, stood Leawyn. With an arrow notched in her bow, she pointed it straight at Asten.
“Don’t make me do it,” Leawyn pleaded with Asten, her voice desperate.
Asten studied her. Taking in her white-knuckled grip around her bow, the notched arrow had the slightest quake as her hands trembled.
“Drop your sword, Asten.”
When Asten didn’t move, Leawyn pulled the bow string back tighter, the sound of the string going taut seeming to echo around them. “Do it!”
Slowly, Asten lowered his sword. “You won’t shoot me, Lea,” he told her, his tone confident.
“I can’t let you kill him.” Leawyn’s bottom lip quivered with her tears as she spoke.
“Everything will be okay, Lea. I’m going to take care of you,” Asten reassured her, his face softening when he looked upon her glassy eyes.
“But this?” He looked down to Xavier, who, despite being mortally wounded, met Asten’s eyes fearlessly. The nerve of that action caused his eyes to harden.
“This thing needs to die. He needs to pay. Don’t you see, Leawyn?” Asten glanced back to her, and she couldn’t fight the sob that escaped her lips at the maniacal glint in his eyes. “This is the only way.”
“What about you, Asten?” Leawyn challenged. “What about what you’ve done?”
Asten frowned. “I haven’t done anything wrong, Lea.”
“You annihilated my tribe! Women and children!” Leawyn cried. “You killed innocent people!”
“The Rhoxolani were weak. They didn’t belong.”
Leawyn recoiled, shocked. She couldn’t believe these hateful words were coming from her childhood friend. From Asten, the boy who made her smile even when she felt her world was falling apart. Who once looked upon her with love. Her best friend. She thought she knew everything there was about him. But looking at him now…she realized she never really knew him at all.
“What about me?” Leawyn said softly, her voice barely carrying over the sounds of battle around them. “I was Rhoxolani. Do I not belong?”
“Of course, you belong, Lea.” Asten said, his hard expression softening. And for a moment, she saw the boy she grew up with in that look as he took a step towards her.
“You belong with me. Which is why I had to kill them. Which is why I’ll enjoy killing him. They took you away from me.”
The moment was broken, and Leawyn’s heart broke all over again.
“I said I’d save you. We’ll finally be together,” Asten continued fervently as he took another step towards her. “It will be a fresh start, with the rightful people. I’ll not harm your friend, Namree?”
“Namoriee,” Leawyn’s whispered, sorrow overcoming her as she watched him step closer.
“Yes, her. I’ll spare her because she’s important to you. We’ll rule our people together.”
Leawyn shook her head slowly, one solitary tear escaping her eyelashes to trail down her cheek.
“These are not my people.”
Asten stopped, his face dawning with understanding, then rage.
Leawyn’s tear dropped from her chin.
He swung his sword up, fire reflecting off the blade as he turned towards Xavier.
Leawyn closed her eyes.
The world went silent.
Her fingers released the fletching the second she opened her eyes.
The arrow whistled through the air.
Mere moments.
Mere moments were all it took for Leawyn to kill her best friend.
* * *
The arrow that pierced his chest mirrored the pain in hers.
“Xavier!” Leawyn’s bow tumbled out of her hand as she ran over towards her husband’s prone body. She fell to her knees beside him, hands shaking as she pulled his head onto her lap.
“Xavier...” she whimpered. She let out a relieved sob when his tired brown eyes met hers.
“Leawyn…” Xavier breathed, his relief evident. “Asten—”
“He’s dead,” Leawyn said bluntly, giving him a weak smile. “I took care of him.”
“I told you not to come back.”
Leawyn choked out a laugh. “Since when did I ever listen to you?” She sniffled.
“Never,” Xavier’s lip twitched with a start of a smile before his face scrunched up in pain, clutching his side. They both tried not to pay attention to the blood that was seeping through his fingers.
“Why?” Xavier whispered hoarsely. Leawyn tenderly smoothed back his hair from his face, trying to ignore how shallow his breathing was. “Why did you kill him for me?”
“You shouldn’t talk,” she whispered, worry creasing her brow.
Xavier lifted his other hand, and Leawyn immediately grabbed it and pressed it against her cheek, squeezing gently.
“I need to know.” He coughed, and she
clutched his hand tighter with worry at how much blood he seemed to lose. His once bronzed skin was starting to pale. His eyes, which had looked at her with such intensity, were now becoming glossy and far away.
It terrified her.
“I couldn’t let him kill you. If anyone is going to kill you, it’s me.” Xavier’s lip quirked in humor at that.
Leawyn’s worry grew when a wave of pain compressed his face. He was getting weaker. Each breath he took became more ragged than the next.
“You…should…go. Hide until it’s…over.”
Leawyn frowned. “I’m not leaving you,” she said resolutely. How could he even ask her to do that?
Xavier made a sound of frustration.
“I’m not asking you, Leawyn. I’m telling you. The battle—”
“I’m not leaving you again!” Leawyn snapped down at him. She softened her expression and her tone when she whispered, “I’m sorry.” She wasn’t apologizing for snapping at him.
Xavier’s thumb caught one of her tears as it brushed her cheekbone.
“It wasn’t your fault, Leawyn,” he told her quietly.
“It is all my fault,” she said tearfully. “You asked me what I was hiding so many times. If only I’d told you sooner. I’m the reason this happened. This is all my fault. All the lives I’ve cost tonight…it’s my fault.”
“We all make mistakes. My biggest mistake is that I ever let you go.”
Leawyn sucked in a sharp breath at that admission, squeezing his hand tighter.
“You just deserved…so much better. I wanted the chance to do the right thing,” Xavier rasped out before he coughed, and her fear continued to mount at how weak he was getting.
“Do you still hate me?”
“No, I don’t hate you,” Leawyn cried. “I love you. I was just too scared to admit it.”
The relief and happiness reflecting on Xavier’s face should have made her happy, but it was the other look he had that made fear and anxiety grip her. He looked like he had everything he needed—before he gave up.
“Don’t you dare leave me,” Leawyn said fiercely. “Don’t you dare give up. We need you. I need you. I refuse to raise our child without you. You don’t get the luxury of dying.”
His hand lifted, shaking as it traced her cheek and the tears running down her face in rivulets. His dark eyes traced her features, memorizing her face. “Our child,” Xavier repeated softly, a contentment entering his eyes at the knowledge.
“Xavier…” Leawyn jolted, panic splayed across her face. “Xavier!” she said urgently as his gaze grew dim.
His hand slowly dropped from her face, and his eyes closed.
“Xavier!”
They didn’t open again.
“So, you never betrayed Xavier? It was planned all along?” Leawyn asked, confused.
“Everything was planned.” Tristan met her eyes, and she could see the truth in them. “Xavier was never going to kill me the day I challenged him. The plan was for him to exile me, to give them an opening to make contact with me. We didn’t expect you to stop him.” He smiled wryly. “Though, I’m sure that was a bonus for him.”
Leawyn blushed.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I’m sorry, Leawyn, but I couldn’t,” Tristan said, looking at her earnestly. “He made me promise. Xavier was the one who came up with the idea. He knew the only way to find out where they were hiding, and who the traitor was, was to use their plan against them.”
“Did Tyronian know?”
Tristan shook his head, a look of pain and regret clouding his face. “No,” Tristan said. “Xavier didn’t want me to tell him. He knew we were close, and that Tyronian wouldn’t have the right reaction when I challenged Xavier to that duel. It wouldn’t have made sense for him to just accept it and not try to stop me. His reaction had to be genuine.”
Leawyn’s heart hurt for Tristan. She knew they were close. It had to be hard for him to keep something like this from him.
“So, you pretended to betray Xavier,” she said, understanding dawning. “You knew they would ask you to join them.”
Tristan nodded. “Once I was inside the ranks, I was able to find out who the traitor was so Xavier could take him out. But as you know, he had already figured it out before I even had a chance to tell him.” Tristan’s lips quirked in amusement. “Then you escaped before I could warn Xavier of their plans to attack.”
“Why you?”
“Xavier knew it had to be someone important, otherwise they wouldn’t bother. It would make sense for it to be me, since things were already tense between us because….” Tristan trailed off, and Leawyn knew the answer by his look.
“Because of me,” she said despondently. “Things were tense because of me.”
Tristan hesitated, which was telling enough. A humorless laugh escaped Leawyn. “What didn’t I cause? Your rift with Xavier. Asten’s attack. What else? What other suffering shall I bring the Izayges?”
“Leawyn—”
“I have to know,” she said suddenly, cutting him off. “Do you have feelings for me?”
“Leawyn…”
“I need to know, Tristan,” she said more firmly. “I won’t make the same mistake I did with Asten.”
Tristan’s brow furrowed, looking at Leawyn with sympathy. “Asten wasn’t your fault. You said yourself you didn’t know he was behind everything.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” Leawyn said, shaking her head as her eyes clouded over with tears of regret. “I knew about Asten long before the battles. When I was kidnapped, Asten was the one who saved me. He was there before Xavier. And after I found out my tribe was killed…” She trailed off, eyes pained.
“Go on,” Tristan urged her gently.
“When I ran back, he was there. I confronted him about something before I was given to Xavier. He…” Leawyn exhaled shakily, swallowing against the sudden lump in her throat. “He admitted he loved me. He…kissed me. And I kissed him back.”
Leawyn looked up to Tristan, her gaze watery with regret. “Don’t you see? I encouraged him. Even when I knew in my heart I didn’t truly want him. I was scared…because I wanted Xavier. I think I knew I was falling in love with him, but I couldn’t understand why. I didn’t want to feel that way. He terrified me. He abused me, yet…” Her fists clenched, her neck flushing with anger.
“Xavier didn’t deserve my love, yet my body craved him and my heart called out for him.”
“Leawyn,” Tristan whispered, stepping forward and wrapping her in his arms, even when she tried to resist. “You can’t blame yourself for that. You don’t have to explain your heart to anyone except to the person it beats for. We don’t get to choose that. Our heart chooses for us.”
“I saw the way everyone looked at me. Even you,” Leawyn looked up at Tristan when he wiped a tear away with his thumb. “I saw the pity in their eyes. They looked at me as if I were broken.”
“You were afraid they would look at you differently when they knew how you started to feel,” Tristan stated gently.
“Sometimes, I wished to die,” Leawyn said in a wistful tone. “It would’ve been so much easier to just cease existing. My life was full of pain, despair, and heartbreak. There were times when it got too hard to keep going…to keep fighting. To live.”
Leawyn pulled away, and Tristan watched her as she turned away from him. She turned and faced him again. He swallowed, his throat dry at the emotion in her crying eyes.
“I wished to die, but then I would think of him. Of the way he looked at me when he thought I didn’t notice. He looked at me like an orphaned boy. Strong, yet yearning for the thing forbidden to him—love. That was the moment I knew…I had to keep fighting for us. Xavier couldn’t love, so I had to do it for the both of us.”
“I don’t love you,” Tristan said suddenly. “I care for you, but I don’t love you. You must understand, it was just me and Xavier for the longest time. We were orphans. But then you came along, and it’s l
ike he just…woke up.” He gave Leawyn a small smile, and her heart broke a little at the pain hidden there. “I was jealous, I think. Of him. Of you… Do you understand what I’m telling you?”
Leawyn nodded. She did understand. The rift between Xavier and Tristan was to do with her, in part, but it wasn’t because of Tristan’s hidden romantic feelings for her. He had realized he was just as lost as Xavier was before he married her. Now, Tristan was just as lost, and even more alone.
“I understand why Xavier didn’t want you to tell me. I would have given you away.” Leawyn sighed, turning away from him once again. “Even so…I need time. I don’t think I can be around you.”
“What are you saying?”
Leawyn’s shoulders slumped, and Tristan had to stop himself from rubbing his chest from the pain that suddenly appeared there at the look she gave him.
“I want you to leave. “
“How—” Tristan cleared his throat, emotional. “How long?”
She didn’t answer right away, studying him. “I think you’ll know when you’re ready to come back.”
Tristan kept eye contact with Leawyn, and she could see her unspoken message was heavy in his heart. Though she needed time away from him, she was also giving him an out. Tristan needed time away from them both; he didn’t know how to be anything other than the Xavier and Tristan duo.
He had lost himself.
Xavier found his home in Leawyn, and now Tristan needed time to learn how to be his own person.
“Thank you.” His voice was barely audible.
“Of course,” Leawyn said softly, her look gentle. “I’ll make sure Tyronian knows what you did, that you didn’t really betray us. I’ll make sure everyone knows.”
Tristan brushed a tendril behind her ear, cupping her cheek and smiling at her softly. “You truly are the most beautiful girl in the land, Leawyn. Inside and out.” He kissed her cheek, pulled back and started to walk away. She watched him go for a moment. She stood up straight, a thought appearing to her.