by Nicole René
“Did you sleep with her?” She screamed.
“Yes.”
Namoriee jerked back, her hand flying to her chest at the sudden pain that omission caused her. “Why?”
“Because I am a man!” Tyronian roared at her, spinning around, picked up the first thing he saw, and launching it across the room. It shattered on contact with the wall. His eyes were wild when he turned back around to face her.
“I am a man,” Tyronian seethed down at her when he marched over to tower over her. “I have needs, and the only woman I ever wanted wasn’t available to me. Samanthia was there, and I used her.” His expression lost some of its hardness as he brushed another tear away from her cheek.
“It’s always been you, Namoriee. Only you. You have to believe that.”
“But it wasn’t,” her voice cracked on the words, tears shining in her eyes as she stepped out of his reach. “And I don’t.”
She couldn’t stand to look at him anymore. She turned and headed for the door. She had only opened it a little bit, before a palm slammed it shut over her shoulder.
“No,” Tyronian hissed into her ear angrily, his front pressed close to her back. “I will not let you leave me.”
“You already ensured that I could never leave you, Tyronian,” Namoriee replied hoarsely, her gaze never leaving the wood and the tattooed ring on his finger that was the mirrored image of her own.
“Will you really deny me the freedom of falling apart without you seeing, too?”
It was quiet with an extended moment of heartache and regret hovering around them for several tense moments, before Tyronian stepped back. His palm left the door to which Namoriee immediately yanked open and stepped out of. No sooner than the door closing did the sob she held in so desperately, escaped.
The sound of things shattering inside the hut sounded as she walked away from the man inside that had made her start to believe that she was good enough.
Tyronian sat on the bed pallets that, just earlier, he had made love to his wife in. It was the bed they had laughed in, and Namoriee had looked up at him with a sparkle in her eye that he worked so hard to put there…a sparkle that he had just as quickly destroyed. Namoriee had not returned since she left him. He didn’t know how long exactly he stayed inside their hut, but he could guess that it was well past sunset. Which was just as well since the hut was destroyed.
In his moment of despair, regret, and self-loathing, Tyronian had taken his anger out on everything and anything in his sight. It was temporary fix. The hut opened, Tyronian’s head snapping up at the sound, but his hope that it was Namoriee diminished.
Leawyn walked over and lowered herself gingerly down until she was sitting next to him on the bed. She didn’t pressure him to talk, and instead they sat together; offering her comfort silently.
“Where is she?”
Leawyn turned her head to look at him. “She’s in my hut.” Tyronian nodded, figuring as much. Leawyn was their best friend. Of course, Namoriee would find solace with her.
“She okay?”
It was a stupid question, and they both knew it. Instead of answering, Leawyn gently pried his hands out of his hair and turned them over. His swollen and bruised knuckles had dry blood on them. When Tyronian had run out of things to shatter, he had turned his attention to the walls.
“She fell asleep with Xillix and the twins.” She didn’t add that Namoriee had only passed out once she exhausted herself from all her crying. She didn’t have to.
“I messed up,” Tyronian choked out, sounding broken.
“She was just starting to accept me and be happy. Now she’s gone, and I don’t know how I’m going to win her back.”
Leawyn’s heart broke for Tyronian. When he covered his face with his hands, and his shoulders started to shake silently, she pulled him close. He resisted at first, ashamed that she was seeing his weakness, but Leawyn wouldn’t let him. After a while, Tyronian pulled away, wiping his eyes with his arms. Blue eyes met blue when Leawyn turned his chin to face her.
“You did mess up,” she said seriously. “But it was understandable. Namoriee is so young Tyronian, you have to be patient with her. I was in her shoes once, and I believe that she is struggling with the same thing I did.”
“Which is?” Tyronian asked, watching as Leawyn smiled soft and loving.
“Of falling in love with a man that she should resent,” she smoothed back a loose tendril of his hair before cupping his cheek.
The move was so loving and nurturing, that it instantly made him feel as if he was wrapped into a cocoon of love and believe that everything would be alright. He now, more than ever, understood Xavier’s obsessive need to possess his wife, and his unnatural love of her. Leawyn was like pure sunlight, warm and able to keep the dark at bay. She was the beauty that tamed the beast and is exactly what Xavier needed.
“Be patient with her Tyronian, and never give up. She just needs time to accept that she’s just as in love with you, as you are her.” Tyronian stood and helped Leawyn up when she went to stand and escorted her to the door. She was still weak from her difficult birth. Xavier would start to look for her soon, and he won’t be happy to know that she left their hut. He opened the door, but before she could leave, he asked the question that plagued him.
“What made you fall in love with Xavier?” Leawyn tilted her head up to look at him questionably. “When did you stop resenting him,” he clarified. His brows rose in surprise at the bubbly laugh she let out in response.
“Don’t be daft cousin! I still resent him, but now it’s for a different reason,” Leawyn grinned up at him, “I hate the fact that he was right— he really does own me. He owns my thoughts, my body, and my heart. Bastard.”
As if summoned, they heard him.
“Leawyn!”
They turned, watching Xavier stomp toward them with an angry scowl on his face. “You shouldn’t be out of bed! I told you to stay in the hut.”
Leawyn winked at Tyronian before Xavier snatched her up. He watched, amused, as he started to drag her away, though Tyronian noticed he wasn’t as forceful as he usually was. “Calm yourself, Xavier. I was only visiting, he was upset.”
“I don’t care!” Xavier snapped. “You shouldn’t be up. Now I’m going to have to punish you for disobeying me.”
“Ohh, promise?” Leawyn teased before she squealed when Xavier growled down at her and threw her over his shoulder.
“Ow!” Leawyn laughed when he smacked her on the ass.
He smacked it again, harder. “Quiet, wench,” Xavier said, but Tyronian could hear the smile in his voice.
Leawyn rolled her eyes, a smile lighting up her face. She waved cheekily at Tyronian before Xavier crested the corner and carried her out of sight.
Tyronian chuckled as he closed his door. He had no doubt that Xavier would punish her, indeed. He smirked at the thought. He doubts that Leawyn will mind though. Tyronian looked around his room and sighed. He didn’t want Namoriee to come back home to this mess.
If she comes back at all.
Tyronian frowned at the thought. No, they were married. He wouldn’t allow Namoriee to leave him, even if she could. Whether she liked it or not, she was stuck with him. But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t strive for her forgiveness and trust again. Tyronian didn’t accept failure.
He needed her to come back to him because he was lost without her.
She didn’t come back that night, and it took everything Tyronian had not to go get her and drag her back, to force her to stay and listen to him. To believe that he loved her.
But Leawyn was right, as she often is. He needed to give Namoriee time…. he needed to be patient.
It just about killed him. When night turned into morning, and morning turned into the afternoon, and she still didn’t come back to him, he was about to lose it.
But just when he was about to go scouring the tribe for her, the door walked open, and there she was. He stood slowly, facing her, taking in her disheveled state,
her red-rimmed eyes, and the heavy bags underneath her eyes that ensured him that she got just as much sleep as he did.
She looked miserable, but she was still the most beautiful thing that he’s ever seen.
“Namoriee…” he winced at the sound of his voice. It sounded like he swallowed sand. He cleared his throat before he tried again. “You came back.”
She nodded, turning to close the door behind her before she faced him again, taking a step in his direction.
“I was worried that…” he stopped, looking down, not wanting to admit it.
“You were worried that I wouldn’t come back,” she finished for him. Her eyes danced across his face, like she was reading every emotion that filtered through and made his expression change.
He only wished he could do the same.
“I almost didn’t.”
He flinched. She didn’t add anything more, just continued to watch him. He was at a loss. He didn’t know what to do about this tension between them. For once, he didn’t know how to handle her. She wasn’t letting him in.
“What happened last night,” he started, searching for the right words. “I never meant to hurt you.” He made sure that he kept eye contact with her, wanting her to believe him, to feel the words deep inside of her.
“I’m sorry, my sweet. But you must know, that I kept it a secret to protect you. No one knew the truth except for me, Xavier, and Tristan. We agreed that it didn’t matter. You became an Izayges that day, and that hasn’t changed. It never will. What Samanthia told you was wrong.”
He got a reaction for that, it was minimal, but there. “Where you come from won’t affect my taking over the Sicares. I don’t know why she said that, but I’m guessing it’s because she was trying to break us apart.” He paused, trying to gage her reactions, but her expression was carefully blank.
“Something she’s excelling at, at the moment.”
Her lips twitched, like it could have been a smile, but wasn’t. He inhaled softly, trying to shake off the uneasy feeling her detached approach to their conversation was making him feel.
“When I pictured my future, it didn’t include you. It didn’t include a man who was so possessive that he would marry me to make sure that I did not go with another.”
The sound of her voice was shocking at first, it broke the tense silence between them, but then her words registered to him, and he instantly felt annoyed.
“How can you possibly doubt me, still!” Tyronian exclaimed, throwing his hands up frustration heavy in his voice.
“What do you want from me?” his shout was the echo of a man who was at the end of his wit. “You want me to say I’m sorry? Well I am! You want me to get on my knees and beg for you to forgive me, to not leave me—then I will!”
As if to prove it, he dropped down on his knees, right there in front of her.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I messed up Namoriee. You’re right, you deserved to know the truth about your origin, but I didn’t think it mattered because you’re an Izayges, blood or not. Just…” he trailed off, his voice desperate. “Tell me what to do to fix this.”
“I want you to admit that you don’t love me!” she snapped.
In four angry strides, he was across the room. His hand gripped her arms, with more force than he ever has before, and slung her so that her back was against the wall. She flinched when he slapped his palm against the wall beside her head and lowered his head menacingly.
“You ask the impossible,” he hissed down at her before slamming his lips down on hers. She gasped, and he used that to push his tongue inside her mouth. He wasn’t gentle. He was forceful, angry, and commanding. He poured all his frustration, hurt and anger in the kiss. He hurt her lips, the only physical part of her he was willing to hurt. As quickly as it started, it was over. Tyronian wrenched himself away from her and didn’t spare Namoriee another glance.
“Where are you going?” Namoriee asked, bleakly. He paused, keeping his back to her.
“I would do anything for you, Namoriee. No matter what you believe, I do love you, but I can’t stay in this room with you a moment more when your tongue lashes out at my heart and tearing it to pieces.” His fist clenched when she let out a little sob in response. “I’ll give you until the snow falls. If you truly believe that your life would be better off without me….” he trailed off, exhaling shakily. “I’ll take over the Sicares and you will never have to see me again.”
She stayed silent, and with the last bit of dignity he had, he walked out and left his heart at door with the woman who owns it.
The next day, he was gone, and after a month, he stopped waiting for her to come for him.
She made her choice, and it wasn’t him.
Two months later.
* * *
She was miserable. It was clear as day to see, but for the life of her, Leawyn couldn’t understand why she was being so stubborn. Her friend hasn’t been the same since the man she refused to admit she loved left. She had put up a good front at first, sure. But it was so painfully obvious that she was falling apart inside.
She tried to be a good friend. She tried to be understanding. Tyronian had betrayed her trust, she got that. But come on. Enough is enough already!
“Get up,” Leawyn demanded, marching into her hut like she owned the place.
Which she technically did, being the lady chief and all.
She threw a clean dress at Namoriee’s face when she started to sit up, groggy.
“Leawyn?” she mumbled, squinting at her. “Whaddya doing?”
“I’m tired of you moping around like the sad sap you are. You haven’t left this been in days, and you stopped attending to your duties. You need get up, take a bath, and then go to the Sicares tribe and beg for Tyronian’s forgiveness.”
“Beg for his forgiveness?” Namoriee scoffed, throwing the dress back at her. “I did nothing wrong! He was the one that lied to me my entire life! He was the one who forced me to marry him, knowing that I didn’t want to be married. He’s the one who slept with a whore when—”
“Oh, grow up Namoriee!” Leawyn snapped, effectively silencing Namoriee. She’s had enough of her whining.
“So, you were arranged to marry Tyronian—so what! Lots of women are arranged to marry. So, he fucked a whore—big deal! You weren’t married then, and we all know he could have made you marry him whenever he wanted.
He was being honorable! You talk as if your life is over, as if being married to Tyronian was some great burden.”
Leawyn’s eyes flashed, and Namoriee could do nothing but stare as she marched the remaining distance between them and yanked her up by her arms so that they were face to face.
“You’re lucky,” Leawyn hissed. “You think your life is hard? Huh?” She tightened her grip on her, the hold had her nails pricking her bronzed skin.
“You think that it’s some great tribulation to be married to Tyronian? I was given to someone who was more monster than man. I have been beat, I have been kidnapped, and I have been branded. Did I feel sorry for myself at times? Yes. But I took my shite situation, and I turned it around because I refused to live the rest of my days in misery!”
Namoriee flinched at the level of Leawyn’s voice. Her breath shuddered out of her when Leawyn skewered her with a look that she never thought she would see in her kind eyes; repugnance.
“You’re lucky that you got to marry a man who loves you. You’re lucky to have a man who treats you well,” Leawyn said, shaking her a bit in her anger.
“Maybe when you stop feeling sorry for yourself you’ll see what’s right in front of you. What’s been in front of you this entire time. Maybe, just maybe, you’ll be brave for once in your damn life, and go after what you want! Perhaps you’ll start to finally live for yourself, instead of dying for others.”
She paused, her hand hovered over the door handle and looked back at her, glaring.
“Or maybe not. Perhaps you’ll continue to be the coward that
everyone believes you are, but I guarantee that if you don’t go now, you’ll spend the rest of your days miserable, looking back at the time when you could have taken the chance to be happy, and didn’t.”
The door slammed behind her, almost falling off its hinges from the force. She had only taken a few steps before her smile broke. It didn’t leave her face, even after she met up with Xavier, her heart melting a little at the sight of her hardened, scary, warrior man, holding one of his new born sons in one arm, while the other rocked the bassinette that the other slept in. He did a double take, looking at her weirdly.
“What’s with you?”
Leawyn’s grin grew, and she paused enough to drop a kiss on his bearded cheek, Xavier bending so that she could do it easily. She pulled back and patted his cheek.
“You can thank you me later. Preferably with your tongue.”
His brow cocked, but she simply winked and took Roxon out of his hands and sat, unclasping her dress so that he may feed.
“Am I going to have to kill someone?”
“Only if she didn’t listen to me.”
“Good to know,” he mumbled, before he shook his head, chuckling under his breath.
Four days later.
* * *
The first snow fall was bitter sweet for Tyronian. For the longest time, snow was a blessing to his eyes. It was his timekeeper, the beautiful miracle of nature that lift his spirit up. He had looked forward to each winter, to each snowflake that fell, because it brought him closer to the time that he would get to go after the woman he wanted, and later, after his promise, it ensured him that he was getting close to the day that he could make Namoriee his wife.
But now, what use to be a breathtaking sight to him, was his greatest sorrow. A cold reminder that, even after all his waiting, he was left alone.
With a heavy sigh, he turned away, banishing the sight of it falling from his eyes by looking down. He’s been chief of the Sicares for three months, and he hated it just as much as he thought he would. He missed being able to do what he pleased, and he missed his cousins. He wondered who in his recruits have finished their trials and went on to being warriors, or if any of them failed.