by Wendy Smith
From the way the door slams, I guess he’s stormed off. That, and the way Mia flies into my arms the second she’s in the bedroom.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers.
“You have nothing to be sorry for. Why the hell does he think it’s okay for him to just walk in?”
“I don’t know. I just don’t want it to affect us.”
Grasping her chin, I pull her gaze to mine. “It won’t. This isn’t your fault, Mia. I hope you know that.”
She nods. “I do. He just always manages to knock my confidence.”
I give her a tender kiss. “I love you. And I know how strong you are. I’ll always be here for you.”
“I know.”
Garrett’s visit makes her a little cautious in the second week. Her work is winding down for the semester, and she spends more time at home.
It unnerves me.
I know she’s trying to protect us, but she shouldn’t have to live her life like this. All it does is make me angrier that she still has another year of this crazy behaviour to go.
She withdraws a little from me too. I feel it. And our week is disrupted by me working nights, which doesn’t help at all.
By Friday, I’m tired and I just want her. I fall into bed a little after four, and she wraps her arms around me.
“I love coming home to you,” I murmur.
“I love you coming home to me.”
“Are you going in to work today?”
She snuggles her head against my chest. “No. I’ve just got some paperwork to finish off at home.”
I kiss the top of her head. “Are you worried about a repeat of last week?”
“A little.”
“We’ll work it out.”
She rubs her nose between my pecs, and I chuckle. “I know we will. Can we just stay like this all weekend?”
Chuckling, I run my hand down her spine. “That’s fine with me.”
15
James
My car is packed solid with Ashley’s things when we leave for Copper Creek.
We’re on break now for three weeks before the second semester starts.
Two weeks of essentially living with Mia was made harder by Garrett’s intrusion, but that last weekend we got back on track.
We talked late into the night about biotech, and other scientific areas we both have interest in. We discovered a mutual love of bad science-fiction movies. And through it all, when I worked nights, she was there at four in the morning, welcoming me with open arms. It’s felt like home.
And at least I’m not leaving town with things being weird.
Ashley hasn’t asked questions. She knows she has no right to my private life anymore.
It wasn’t that long ago that I mourned our lost friendship. Now I’m happy to move on with the rest of my life because I have a new best friend.
Ashley’s a lot happier now than she was two weeks ago when she turned up to my place. Despite our differences, I’m glad she felt that she could come to me. That ex of hers is a real dick.
“I’m so glad to be almost home. I can’t wait to go swimming at the cove. Are you sticking around for a while?” she asks.
I nod. “I thought I’d spend some time with Mum before I head back. At least it’s nice and quiet to get some studying done.”
“I’m not sure if I ever want to go back to complete my studies.” She sighs.
“He’s not worth throwing away your dreams for.”
I flick a glance at her. Her gaze is fixed on me. “I feel so awful, James. I know I was one of the reasons you chose Auckland, and I treated you so badly.”
I swallow hard. There’s nothing incorrect in what she’s saying, and I was deeply hurt. How am I supposed to reply? “Yeah, you did.”
“I’m so sorry, James. I never really said that to you before this, and you’ve been so good to me these past couple of weeks.”
“You really hurt me. But I’ve moved on, and I’m happy now. I hope you find someone who makes you happy.”
“Who is she?”
I grip the steering wheel. “I can’t tell you. But I’m in love with her, and she loves me. And I know she’ll never cheat.”
She’s staring at me wide-eyed. “Why can’t you tell me who it is? I didn’t want to pry, but now I’m really curious.”
“Because I promised her I wouldn’t. She’s going through a divorce, and we’re keeping it on the down low because her ex is a real dickhead.”
Ashley bows her head. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Honestly, no one should be treated the way she was. And What’s-His-Name should never have treated you the way he did.”
She lets out a shaky breath. “He only did to me what I did to you. You’re such a good guy, James. I hope that you and whoever your lady is are happy. You deserve it.”
I nod. “I hope you find some happiness too.”
As we take the last turn before hitting town, Ashley beams. “I can’t wait to see Mum and Dad. Being home is going to be so good.”
“Says the woman who couldn’t wait to leave.”
She laughs. “I just didn’t realise what I had until it was gone.”
We travel the distance to her parents’ place in silence. I’m sure she has a lot of regret, but my heart is back in Auckland with Mia.
I wish she was with me.
Ashley’s father greets us with a smile, and I help him unpack her things.
There’s a sense of relief that comes over me as I leave. I’d thought that part of my life was over, and when I drive away, I know for sure that it is.
I turn onto our street and smile.
Home still looks the same.
It’s so beautiful here. When I stop the car and get out, I take a long, deep breath of the familiar air. The gardenia and freesias I smell—I’m the one who planted them. So much of this garden is me.
“James.” Dad grins as I walk through the backyard. “This is unexpected.”
“I brought Ashley home. Figured you might like a visitor for a few days.”
“Your mum’ll be over the moon to see you.”
When I reach him, he embraces me. I haven’t been home often since I left, and I can see how much he’s aged. The stress of Mum’s illness won’t have helped at all.
“I’m looking forward to seeing her. How are you two?”
“We’ve both been better. How’s Ashley?”
“She’s okay. The guy she cheated on me with cheated on her. So she packed up her stuff and left.”
“Are you two …?”
I shake my head. “No. I wouldn’t go back there. She really hurt me. But I’m okay. I’ve got someone, and I’m happy.”
He beams. “Glad to hear it. Come in and see your mother.”
It’s good to be home.
My mobile rings late morning the following day. I smile when I see that it’s Mia.
“Babe.” I sit on the bed.
“Hey. I just wanted to hear your voice. How was your trip?”
I swallow. “Good. Ashley’s settled in with her parents.”
“Missed you last night.”
“I miss you too.”
“It’ll be weird when you come back, not having you sleeping here with me.”
I close my eyes. “Tell me about it. I was lonely last night without you.”
“I can’t wait for you to come home.”
Home.
“Is that an invitation to spend more nights at your place?” I ask.
“Always.”
My heart bursts with her word. I love Mia, and she loves me. There’s no doubt in my mind that we’re meant to be together. We just have to work out the tricky parts of her life first. “I really want to … shit. I’m not sure if telling you what I want to do is appropriate given that I’m in my childhood bedroom.”
She laughs. “You can tell me whatever you want.”
I grin. Fuck I miss her. I wish she was here. “Do you really want to hear what I want to do to you?”
&
nbsp; A deep voice comes over my shoulder. “What do you want to do to me, James?”
Shit. My heart leaps as I do. Corey. “My brother’s here. I’ll have to call you back.”
Mia’s laughter fills my ear as I end the call. I glare at Corey.
He laughs. “I’m sorry. It was just too good an opportunity to pass up.”
“I didn’t hear you.”
“No, you were too busy sexing up whoever that was on the other end of the phone. Got something to tell me, little brother?”
I shrug. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to visit Mum, and to check in on my baby bro. You know, seeing as he hasn’t come to see me in forever. Thought you might want to go for a beer.”
Glancing at my phone, I nod. “Sure, that sounds good.”
“You’re old enough to drink now, right?”
I roll my eyes. “I’ll just send a quick text and I’ll be ready.”
He nods. “Say hello to her for me.”
Corey just turned up and wants to go for a beer. I’m sorry. Talk to you later? I love you.
“Come on, let’s go. We’ll take my truck, and I’ll drop you off before I head home,” Corey says.
“Sounds like a plan.”
My phone buzzes. It’s okay. I thought it was funny. I can’t wait to meet your family. Love you.
I follow my brother outside, grinning as I climb into Corey’s ute. “I thought you might have traded this thing in by now.”
“And get what? She’s never skipped a beat.”
I nod. “I guess. Suppose it helps that Adam’s around now to fix her when she does break down.”
“Is this a diversion tactic to make me forget about that phone call?” He starts up the car and backs down the driveway, then turns onto the road.
I laugh. “I guess it’s not working.”
“Memory like an elephant. You should know that.”
As we drive into town, the conversation shifts to Corey’s love life. Thankfully. I never saw him as the settling-down type. He loves his solitude, living alone on McKenzie’s Mountain. Well, alone but for that weird commune-type place on the property next to his. Now he’s fallen for one of its former occupants. I’m looking forward to meeting her.
I’ve heard stories of when they were a bit more outgoing, and used to come down the mountain to shop. But for as long as I can remember they’ve been closed off and secretive. Every time I went to Corey’s place, I’d go past the massive corrugated-iron fence that surrounded the property.
Every time, it would give me the shivers.
I’m glad she got out.
And that Corey’s smitten.
When Corey drops me off, I head inside to see Mum. She’s in her bed now, and rarely gets out. Dad’s her nurse, and it breaks my heart to see them both like this.
She smiles when I walk into the room. “Did you see Corey?”
“We went into town for a beer. I just got back.”
She shakes her head. “You boys and your beer.”
“It was one, Mum. And we’re all old enough to drink.”
Her smile’s faint. “I love all of you so much.”
“I know you do. And we love you. How are you feeling?”
She sighs. “Tired. Just very tired. I want to sleep, but I feel like I’ve been sleeping for hours.”
“Can I tell you a secret?” I ask.
“I’ll take it to my grave.” She laughs softly, and it hurts, but I know she’s still trying to look tough. Mum’s always been good at that.
“I met someone, Mum. And I think she’s the one I’m meant to be with.”
“You should have brought her to meet me.”
I nod. “I know, but we have to keep things on the down low for a few reasons, and I’m trying to protect her.”
She gives me that faint smile again. “You must love her.”
“More than anything. I also know you wouldn’t approve.”
“Pfft. Life’s too short for that. I already caused enough damage in Adam’s relationship. And poor Hayley got the worst of me.” She takes in a breath, and pauses as if she’s catching up. “Just be happy, James. If she has your love, she’s the luckiest woman in the world. As long as she appreciates that and loves you back, I’m happy for you.”
I fight back tears. This is all I ever wanted. We all love Mum, but she never thought anyone was good enough for any of us. It’s hard that it’s taken this to get her acceptance. “Thanks, Mum.”
“Tell me all about her.”
I let out a long breath. “Well, she’s a lecturer at the university.”
“An older woman.”
I nod. “But she’s spent most of her adult life with a man who didn’t appreciate what he had. They were separated well before I was on the scene, but he’s still an unwanted part of her life until the divorce is final.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. She must be special for you to love her.”
“She is.”
Mum sighs. “As are Lily, Hayley, and Ginny. I’m sure Corey’s lady is special too. Your brothers all found the right women for them. I have confidence that you know what’s best for you.”
“I never thought I’d hear those words.”
“Well, if she doesn’t treat you well, I’ll haunt her.”
I laugh despite myself, and lean over to kiss her on the cheek. “Love you, Mum.”
“I love you too. So much. Now, I need to sleep, but will you stay with me a while longer?”
“Of course.”
As I sit there, she drifts back off to sleep. I hate this. I wish I could conjure up a miracle that would let her live. But the reality is that every day she creeps closer to death. It’s so unfair.
But I’m glad I told her about Mia.
Later, in my room, I lie on the bed where I can keep an eye on the door and dial Mia.
It’s been a good day. Mum’s worse than I thought she would be, but I enjoyed catching up with Corey. It’s left me feeling homesick when I’m already here. I miss this town and its people. I miss the peace and quiet. I miss my family.
And right now, there’s someone else I miss.
“Hey.” Mia’s voice makes me warm.
I close my eyes. “I just wanted to call to say sorry about earlier and hear your voice. I really miss you.”
“I miss you too. How was Corey?”
“Curious about you.” I laugh.
“You didn’t tell him?”
I swallow hard. “I thought it was better if I didn’t. The fewer people who know about us, the better until we can tell everyone.” I smile. “And when we can, I’ll be singing it from the rooftops.”
Her soft laugh warms my heart. “I love you.”
“I love you too. I’ll be back in a couple of days.”
“I’ll be looking forward to it. Not much is happening here. How’s your mother?”
I pause. Seeing Mum is hard. We don’t always agree, but watching her waste away has to be the most painful thing I’ve been through. “She’s dying. I’m glad I’m here to see her.”
“I’m so sorry. If there’s anything you need, let me know.”
“Just be there when I come back.”
“That I can do.” Her tone is so warm and loving. What did I ever do to deserve Mia? I’m the luckiest man alive.
“I can’t wait to see you.”
16
James
I’m not back in Auckland long when I get the call I’ve been dreading.
We’re in semester two, but I have to walk away from everything for a few days.
This is it.
My mother’s got hours to go.
I’ve just finished a lecture when I get the phone call, and there’s not much time. It’s a long drive home, and I need to leave straight away.
I don’t hesitate.
When I get to my car, I flick Mia a text.
I’m just leaving town. Mum’s close to death.
It only takes a few seconds.
I’m so sorry. Have a safe trip. I love you.
I love you too.
This whole situation sucks. Mum fought so hard the first time around, but this second time she decided to let nature take its course.
Nature can be so cruel.
I take a deep breath, and start the car.
My phone buzzes. Text or call me if you need anything. I can drop everything. Xxx
I love her. She’s everything I ever wanted, and I’ll wait as long as I have to for her to be free. My love for Mia helps build my strength to face this.
Everyone’s there when I pull into the backyard.
Corey’s a bit worse for wear. His girlfriend dumped him a couple of weeks ago, returning to that community, or cult, or wherever it is she came from. He’s morose, and he’s been drinking.
“Should have seen him when he got here. Drew was purple from him chatting up Hayley,” Owen says.
I laugh. “I’ve never seen him drunk.”
“Ava didn’t want to go near him at first. She was already freaked out at him shaving his beard off.”
“He did what?”
“Corey went to get his hair cut, and decided to shave, ready for Adam and Lily’s wedding.”
“Isn’t that months away?” I shake my head, laughing.
“James.” Dad stands in the doorway. “Come on.”
Swallowing hard, I walk toward him. As much as I need to see her, I don’t want to see her like this. I hate the thought of a final goodbye.
She’s asleep, and Dad nudges my arm. “She can hear you. Get closer and talk to her.”
I nod, and I step forward to speak to her. “Mum, it’s James.”
Her eyes stay closed, and more than anything I wish they’d open just for a few minutes. But I know that’s not going to happen.
“I came as soon as I heard. I’m sorry I haven’t been here more often. But I’m here now.”
The room’s silent but for the faint sound of her breathing. It’ll stop soon, and the strong, vibrant woman who raised me will be no more.
I hate this.
“I wish Mia was here. You’d love her.” While I have no regrets about hiding our relationship, I do wish I’d brought Mia to meet Mum. “She loves me so much, and I haven’t told her yet but when she’s divorced, I’m going to marry her.”