by Sandra Elsa
She hurried into what she hoped was the final change of uniforms for the day and ran to her appointed practice session.
Captain Torel was there, as was Trace, and several other young Guards. The Weaponsmaster leaned nonchalantly against the wall. Bella’s eyes noted that in spite of his seeming distance from events, the Weaponsmaster was in fact armed with a wooden weapon. Captain Torel drew his sword and came at her the moment she walked through the door. This was not a new tactic; she was ready for it, even though she was winded. The sparring weapon she‘d just picked up from the rack came up to block the attack.
Trace stood from where he had been and came at Torel. Bella knew this game; Trace was her partner, though they had not yet fought together. From the sidelines another soldier peeled off and leapt to Captain Torel’s defense. Captain Torel backed out of it letting the others wear them down. Trace shifted around and stood back to back with her, they were a formidable pair. One by one the other soldiers fell, marked by the wooden practice swords with crippling or death blows.
She caught her second wind as they fought, but still she tired, it had already been a long day. She faltered and was struck in the thigh. Not a deathblow, or enough to put her out, but to play by the rules of the game she now had to lose the mobility of that leg. Trace was still behind her, winded and injured, but alive.
Their opponents fell until only Captain Torel still stood in front of them. Now was when the Weaponsmaster chose to join the fray. Bella sagged in desperation, then soared with joy when she caught a flash of motion from the door and the Weaponsmaster, found himself pinned under two hundred and fifty pounds of grinning wolf. Captain Torel was startled enough by this move that he dropped his guard just long enough for Trace to score on him.
“Get him off,” the Weaponsmaster panted.
“Still think they need more work?” Torel laughed at the man struggling to breathe under the wolf’s weight.
“Thanks Conall, but maybe you better let him up now,” Bella thought with a grin.
The Weaponsmaster moved with caution as he stood, eyeing the wolf standing before him.
“Good tactics,” he said, holding his hand out to Bella.
She shook her head and said, “They weren’t mine.”
The Weaponsmaster looked at Trace, he also shook his head.
Conall sat on his foot and he looked down at the wolf in surprise. He looked back at Bella and received her nod of acknowledgement—the victory did indeed go to the wolf.
The Weaponsmaster grinned, “Well I’ll be. With planning like that, I reckon you’ll be as safe as you would with any old campaigner.” He knelt down beside Conall and held a hand under his chin, searching the depths of the gray eyes. As though if he looked deep enough, he could see through the outer layer to the soldier beneath. “I sure would like to know who you were,” he said, his voice hushed. “It’s not often I get beaten at my own game.”
“I had a distinct advantage by knowing what he was going to do,” Conall thought to Bella, “but don’t tell him that. People might not be so friendly if they knew I could read their minds. Besides it can’t hurt to let them think I’m just so wise and wonderful.”
“Our secret,” she promised.
Conall moved off the Weaponsmaster’s feet and curled around Bella’s legs. “You three are just one surprise after another aren’t you?” Captain Torel asked. “Quite frankly, I’m surprised he didn’t bring the horse with him.”
Conall looked up at him and grinned. Angel appeared in the doorway, “Always keep a surprise or two in the wings.”
Captain Torel just shook his head. “I should have known.”
“Cool down, then go get cleaned up for supper. Corporal Gunter, I need to see you this evening.”
“Sir, I have an appointment with First Sergeant Corwin just as soon as I’m through with mess.”
“What’s that about, Corporal?”
“I requested further instruction in Drill, Sir. My skills in that area are lacking, just a bit,” she admitted with a rueful grin.
He smiled knowingly, and nodded. “Very well then, see me when you’re through. Find Sergeant Gunter and bring him and the General with you,” he said with a laugh; pointing at Conall.
Sleep was looking further and further away, disappearing over the horizon like the ships her father sailed on. With forced good cheer she said, “Yes sir,” saluted and dragged herself back to the cottage to clean up for supper.
To make it worse it was getting very cold now at night. Covered in sweat, she shivered as she made her way back to her cottage. Conall trailed at her heels and thought to her, “I wish there was something I could do.”
The water in the washbasin had a thin layer of ice covering its surface, but she felt so dirty she wanted to at least wash face and hands before she ate. She looked forward to a warm shower that night, but rather imagined it would be a long time coming, she only hoped there would be some hot water left. She trudged to the mess hall. Conall followed at her heels. He did not hide his concern for her flagging strength; this had been a long day.
Was it just lunchtime when the King himself had toasted to the success of her mission? Conall rubbed his head on her hand as she walked, shoring up her fatigue as best he was able. He did not often go to the mess hall, but when he did, he attracted a lot of attention and tonight was no different. He distracted them to allow Bella to finish her meal and depart with as little interaction as possible.
She slipped out of the mess hall and went to the First Sergeant’s office. He looked up, acknowledged her presence and condition, and looked back down at his books. “Corporal, I’m too busy tonight, see me tomorrow evening, unless you would like me to assign somebody else to instruct you.”
“Tomorrow evening will be fine, Sir,” she responded with some small enthusiasm.
As she turned to leave she caught the thought from Conall, “A wise leader knows when a soldier has had too much. And that man is very wise.” He brushed against her leg as they went out the door. “You did well in Torel’s little surprise combat but it has taken a lot out of you. We must work on endurance in the future.”
She didn’t hear any undertones of criticism in that thought, it was a simple statement of fact.
“Captain Torel is also a wise leader. He will not keep you long. Then we will sleep.”
“My room is freezing cold, I wish I had started a fire earlier,” Bella thought with a sigh.
Conall dashed off without explanation and returned moments later from the direction of the mess hall with Trace in tow.
The desk sergeant announced them and ushered them back to Torel’s office. With Conall in the room, the effect was milder than it had been when he had been over a mile away in the forest. Captain Torel didn't look at all surprised to see them walk in the door early.
As they entered, he said, "Sit down please. The two of you did very well tonight. One might think you'd been brother and sister your whole lives, but I need you to work together more. I want you to be able to know what each other is thinking, what your favorite foods are, favorite colors, be able to finish each other’s sentences like twins joined at the hip,” he stood and paced before continuing. “I was quite impressed with the way Trace leapt to your defense in the salle that was not under orders. He was the only one who was not told what was going on. He is as smart as I’d hoped he'd be."
Glancing at the wolf sitting by the door, he said, “Conall is going to be an important member of your team. He out schemed the Weaponsmaster. That's not easy, and will undoubtedly be harder next time, and there will be a next time. I know the schedules you have been put on are full. Bella you look about ready to drop. Tomorrow Tessa won't have quite so much of your day.”
His full attention turned on Bella. “Speaking of Tessa. Stefan tells me we have a talented, new pupil with flame red hair riding catch horses. He wanted to know when Tess was going to be assigned a permanent mount. He also said that you and your mount looked off today. Would you ca
re to explain any of this?"
Bella was too weary to tell anything but the truth. "Tessa wanted to ride. She said she was bored and wanted a chance to get out from under the watchful eyes of the palace. If she's not safe in the middle of the King's Guards compound then she isn't safe in the palace either. She wore one of my uniforms so she was less recognizable. It would have been difficult to ride in what we were wearing when we arrived from the palace.”
Trace snorted with laughter, but choked back the words Conall sent her anyway.
“He almost said, ‘At least you’d have an excuse’, but he’s not stupid enough to say that.”
Bella glowered at Trace. “As for my sorry performance,” she gave a disheartened shake of her head. “Did Stefan tell you he made me use a saddle? I’ve never been so uncomfortable in my life. Angel wasn't pleased with it either.” She sunk down into her chair. “Considering that neither of us has ever used one before, we thought we did good just getting it on right. Of course, even that took instruction from Conall. Tessa has agreed to teach me to ride in a saddle when nobody's around, in the King’s Stable. That will also give me exposure to riding other animals without embarrassing myself too badly."
Smiling, Captain Torel said, "I guess you and Tessa are getting along well then. I was afraid you might find her overwhelming. I don't mind her riding the horses.” He put a lot of thought into his next words. “I would prefer to have her come with you to weapons practice. I've been after her mother to let me teach her to defend herself since her father disappeared. Her mother seems to think it is not ladylike.” Captain Torel drew a hand down his clean shaven chin. “I also think, the woman believes that if Tessa can handle a weapon she'll go running off to defend the world the next time there's trouble. Then she will be left with nothing." Fingers drummed the desk absently. “Tessa has access to all the horses she could want. But I would like her to know how to handle a sword and a bow. If you could convince her to attend those sessions with you, I would be grateful.”
Bella was uncertain if he expected a response. He seemed to be working it out in his own mind rather than discussing it with her, but she had to ask. “And if her mother finds out?”
Captain Torel pulled his mind back to the conversation and smiled. “She won’t. Tessa won’t tell her. If Elenora wants to know why you’re spending so much time with her daughter outside the palace, you’ll be riding with her. It is a very good idea for you to learn to ride other horses. And you’ll need to be able to use a saddle without crippling yourself. It would be a very good idea for her to teach you to ride sidesaddle as well.”
He turned his attention back on Trace. “I know I don’t have to impress upon you the importance of this mission. I will however, impress upon you the fact that there will be nobody except each other to help you once you leave the soil of Ronan behind. You’ll be Swordtwins before you depart. Starting tomorrow, with the exception of the time each of you spends at the palace, the two of you will have all of your training sessions together, and take all your meals together. Trace, you're dismissed."
With a glance towards Bella to see how she took this information, Trace snapped a salute and left.
"Bella I've been putting off addressing one issue you’ll need to be aware of. I don't know any other way to put it, but the clothes worn by women in Telgar are something less than a decent woman would wear. I don't know what to say, you’ll have to wear them to blend."
"It's all right, Captain," she let him off the hook and he gave a sigh of relief. "Tessa and I stopped by Mistress Senta's this morning and we saw the sketches. Sellene is going to see what she can do to make them more modest, such as a small landholder’s third daughter from way out by the border might wear, but still be in style with the Court. I can’t say that it pleases me to even consider wearing them… We agreed to take on this task, I’ll wear the dresses. I suppose I’ll also need a riding outfit because I'm quite certain I won't be able to ride in those dresses."
Heaving a sigh of relief, and looking a bit surprised, he glanced at Conall as though guessing the source of her acceptance. "Yes, of course. I’ll see to it. Go ahead and get cleaned up, and get some sleep. You may sleep in, in the morning. Tessa said she’d be taking you to breakfast at the palace. I’ll be expecting you at weapons training just as soon as you're through there. Then horsemanship, and drill, we will try to work your schedule for a minimum number of wardrobe changes. It seemed like every time I saw you today, you were in something different."
"That would be good, Sir.” She came to attention, snapped a salute and said, “Good night, Sir."
Conall rose with her, and as one they left the office. As she opened the front door she was hit by an icy blast of air. She shivered and hurried to her cottage. Starting a fire in the hearth, and wrapping a cloak tightly around her shoulders, she hurried to the showers.
The showers had been a pleasant surprise for Bella. She had seen other places with piped water during their travels but if you wanted warm, you took a bath and the innkeeper’s servants would fill it with water heated on the fire.
The Guard showers were set up to pipe water into some large copper cylinders which sat in the sun and heated all day. At the end of the day there were hot showers. Out of courtesy most people took very short showers. Especially this time of year when in order to get the cylinders heated a fire was lit underneath them just before suppertime. It took a long time to heat the cylinders this way.
Bella felt filthy so she lingered a bit longer than normal, scrubbing away the exertions of weapons training. She smiled as she thought of the Weaponsmaster trying to come up with a plan to defeat Conall's strategy. She had not even told Torel that Conall was capable of picking up surface thoughts from other people.
"You could too if you wanted to let me take you there,” she heard.
Now that was an intriguing thought. One that could be useful in Telgar. How better to find out information than to read it from their minds?
"You can only reach the surface so you would have to still mention things that would make them think of what you want to know and that could be suspicious.”
She toweled herself off and got dressed in a clean uniform. Bundling back into the cloak, which now that she was clean she could tell needed to be washed, she ran for her cottage. The fire had just barely started to take the chill off and she dove under the covers. "I'm going to have to keep the fire going all day from now on. It is getting too cold."
Conall agreed.
"Sometimes I wish I had a fur coat like yours."
"It helps, but it's still cold. And a poor exchange for a warm bed."
"How would you know? You're not telling me you remember sleeping in a warm bed."
He hesitated, not sure if she‘d appreciate the truth. "I've been sleeping on yours when the floor is cold and you've been elsewhere. I'll stop if you don't want me to, but then some blankets would be nice."
"I'm sorry,” she said, with remorse. “For all your human qualities sometimes I guess I still treat you like an animal. I never thought about it. I'd be glad to have a foot warmer tonight if you want to sleep up here.”
"It wouldn't be proper Bellana.”
Her impulse was to laugh, but she stifled it, not having the least desire to sting him emotionally. "What's improper? You're a wolf. If you can squeeze yourself up here you're welcome to do so. I know I can use the body heat.”
"Bellana, do not tempt me.” Conall thought to her with an emotion in his thoughts she’d never felt there before. “ I find myself having thoughts about you that would not be proper if I were human, and as a wolf they are positively indecent.”
That gave her pause; she had never considered him as anything other than her friend and confidant. Since he mentioned it, she could see him being the man she‘d waited for, if only he weren't a wolf. “None the less it is simply not possible for them to be anything more than thoughts. I would trust you with my virtue even if you were human. Get that body heat up here.”
He slunk into the bed, and curled up into an impossibly compact ball covering her feet and legs from the knee down. “If the day should ever come that I'm human, you will see how little virtue I have. I love you Bellana.”
"Promises, promises,” she said, keeping her tone lighthearted. "Just wait until you’re human and incredibly handsome, and can have your pick of any woman in existence.”
"Still I would want none but you.”
His tone was serious. She didn't know how to respond to a statement like that, so she avoided it, saying, "Good Night, Conall.”
She did not sleep for some time. She knew he was in her mind, yet she couldn’t respond to his comments without examining how she felt about him. She didn’t want him following her every thought, but his earlier statements brought the fact that he knew her intimately, home. Could he be reading more from what was in her mind than she did? He stirred down by her feet and she closed her mind, shielding tightly. For once he seemed content to allow her privacy.
If he knew her so well why would he say something like he had if he didn’t at least have some belief she returned his affection. She had never consciously thought of him as anything more than a friend. Even that he had forced into her mind, stepping up the change from simple companion to friend, his disappointment making her aware that that he wished to be thought of as more than a companion.
Could this be another attempt on his part to manipulate her feelings. She examined her own mind, dredging up emotions and thoughts her days were too filled to even consider. She liked having him around. She enjoyed the closeness the mental link formed--most of the time. He was always there at her side or in her mind, eager to please.
But he had his own agenda. He wanted his natural form back. Of course he was eager to please the one person in two hundred years who could hear him.
His jealousy was frustrating and ill-placed. She had no interest in any male, beyond friendship. Why was he so obsessive?
But he had just answered that. Hadn’t he. If he truly believed himself to be in love, then he would not be happy if she sought out another lover.
If he knew her mind so well he should realize she had no interest in men beyond friendship.
Then again, he could look into the minds of men and see where their interests lie.
Did that mean Captain Torel had other thoughts in his head as he carried her up the steps from the dungeon? It would account for Conall tearing up the door.
But Torel had stated he would not consider pursuing anybody under his command, Robin made it perfectly clear that he held this policy with everyone. So even if the thoughts were there, Conall should realize they wouldn’t be acted upon. How ridiculous it was to even think a Prince would look at her as anything more than a brief affair anyway. The citizens of Ronan would not allow anything more between one of their royalty and a runaway slave, and Conall should know her well enough to realize she did not want a brief affair with anybody.
Did this jealousy indicate a lack of confidence in his ability to read every thought in her mind? Or did he think her shallow enough she would jump at the chance to bed a Prince.
She tormented her own mind, searching for conclusions long into the night, and decided that it was likely she did feel more than she should for an animal.
Then again, he wasn’t really an animal, and the time they spent with each other was more than most married couples spent together. Even if it wasn’t possible to have a physical relationship, he probably had reason to hope she could return the love he declared. The way she saw it she had three choices. She could admit there was a chance she returned his affection, and hope that someday they could break the spell. She could admit that she liked him more than she ought, but realized it could never be a physical relationship, or she could ignore his declaration of love and continue as they had for the past months.
She decided on the last course of action. He would see whatever he chose to see in her mind. She couldn’t stop him from interpreting her thoughts to suit himself; but she would not consciously encourage him to think of them as lovers. She was not going to tie herself to somebody who may never regain human form. But she wasn’t going to throw his emotions back in his face and discourage him, her own were too strong to deny, even if she chose not to acknowledge them.
Nothing would change unless Johann managed to figure out how to change Conall back into a human.
Bella could feel the tension in Conall’s body, he did not sleep either. She relaxed her shields and immediately felt him invade her mind, searching for answers. She expected disappointment, but as the tension eased from his body, all he told her was, “As long as I didn't frighten you away. I did not say what I did, in expectation that you could return my love. I would not have you grow old and gray waiting for a miracle that may never happen. I said it only because it is the truth of my feelings and nothing is ever likely to change that.”
She breathed a sigh of relief, perhaps with that discussion over, he would stop his insane jealousy.
His next words brought no reassurance as he once again answered her unvoiced thoughts. “I’m sorry. I acknowledge your emotions, but mine are a slave to two hundred years of instinct, and I cannot remove the thought from my mind that you are my mate. I will try to control my jealousy if it disturbs you so much. But I can’t make it go away.”
Bella sighed and sank into the relaxation exercise Johann had taught her, to seek her aura. She cleansed all conscious thought from her mind and fell asleep contemplating the brilliant white of her aura. She noted with satisfaction that the red color which had so disturbed Baltor had again faded into anonymity.