My fingernails bite into his back as his teeth nip at the tender skin on my neck. He bites and then sucks, his tongue taking the pain from his teeth away. I know for a fact that tomorrow I will wake up with marks across my neck from him, but I don’t care in the slightest. I want to wake up and have proof that tonight happened. That if only for a fleeting moment, I was Nash’s—and he was mine.
Nash keeps the rhythm achingly slow, and no matter how hard I try to create more friction, he refuses to go any faster.
My eyes drift open, finding Nash’s eyes already on me. The moonlight drifts in through the small windows, allowing just enough light in to see the shadows across his face. His eyelids lower as he slowly pushes all the way in.
“I love watching you come apart, Rose.” His hand leaves its place on my hip, slowly traveling up my body until his fingers thread in the wet strands of my hair. He gently pulls at the hair, angling my face up so I stare at him once again.
All too quickly, I’m close to another orgasm. Nash increases the speed of his hips and it’s too much. I can feel the pressure building in my abdomen.
“Come apart for me,” Nash instructs. The muscles in his back begin to tighten as another orgasm rips through me. I’m still riding the waves from my climax when Nash has his own. His moan alone has me turned on all over again.
It’s silent in the bus as we catch our breaths. Part of me is dreading the next part, expecting him to pull out and move on with the night. My preconceived notions of him get the best of me. I’m proven once again that Nash isn’t who he’s made out to be. He shocks me by pulling me to his chest seconds after he pulls out of me.
Burrowing his head into my neck, he takes a deep inhale. “Fuck, Rose. That was…” It’s silent as I wait for him to finish his sentence. “That was everything,” he finally says, making my heart skip a beat.
One of my hands comes up to find his head. Holding him against my neck, I relish in the moment we’re having. Sex with Nash is phenomenal, but it’s the cuddling afterward that has me feeling things I have no right to feel.
For the next few hours, we have sex on and off, neither of us able to keep our hands off the other for very long. It’s evident that Nash knows his way around the female body, bringing my body to more orgasms in a narrow timespan than I thought possible. The moments with him buried inside me make me feel a passion I didn’t know existed. I’ve never felt so physically in sync with a person like I do with Nash. It’s hard to put into words. It’s hard to imagine that these moments might only be fleeting—temporary.
Cuddled against Nash, my head resting on his chest and my fingertips tracing his tattoos, it’s hard to remind myself that one day he could hate me. With every breath I take, I hold in the desperate want to admit to the scheme that got me here in the first place. It’s on the tip of my tongue, but I’m too scared.
I’m scared to lose the moment we’re in. I’m scared to see him put a fence back around his heart and soul. I’m just now getting to really know him—fall for him—and I don’t want to lose the look of affection in his eyes when they land on me.
My heart constricts when I think about all the lies I’ve told him. All the ways those closest to him have deceived him. I need to come clean to him, because I want the truth to come from my lips and nobody else’s, but first I want more time with him.
“Tell me a secret, Rose.” His lips move against my temple, his breath warm against my skin.
I’m going to break your heart is what comes to mind, but I push it away, not ready to admit my betrayal yet.
“You make me feel safe,” I confess. Something I didn’t realize I’ve been desperately chasing for years.
The finger that was playing with my hair stills briefly. “What does that mean?”
Unwanted memories flash through my mind, just as vivid as the day they happened. I try to clear my head by leaning in, giving him a soft kiss on the piano tattooed on his chest. “It means you make me feel safe,” I repeat, apparently not ready to divulge any of my secrets to him tonight.
“What do I have to do to get inside that pretty head of yours?” Shifting in the bed, he brings us face to face, a finger tapping me on the temple.
“I don’t remember that being part of our agreement when I told you I’d make you fall in love with music again,” I tease, moving the hair off his forehead.
“Well, I’m making an amendment.”
“Too late. Now you tell me a secret,” I say, smiling when he rolls his eyes.
His gaze travels to where my hand is resting on his chest, the beat of his heart drumming against my palm. “It’s working,” he says quietly.
“What is?”
Grabbing me by the hips, he rolls us until he’s placing me on top of him. My thighs rest on either side of his body in a straddle. Bracing myself, my hands fall to his chest.
He tucks my hair behind my ear. “You. You’re working. You’re making me see the magic in my life again.”
Why does he have to go and say things to make me want him even more?
My throat begins to constrict. I try to swallow the emotion, not trying to tip him off to the sinking feeling in my chest. “Yeah?” I ask hoarsely, unable to come up with any other words.
“I haven’t felt this content with life in a very long time,” he admits, a shy smile on his face. “You know the other day I realized that I haven’t been drunk in weeks? I’ve had drinks, sure, but I haven’t been piss drunk for a while. And it’s because of you.”
Don’t tell me that, I plead silently. Don’t stop your bad habits because of me, Nash.
All I want is for him to stop feeling the need to get drunk to survive his days, but I don’t want to be the reason for it; there is fear when I remind myself our goodbye is inevitable.
“All I’ve done is show you how talented you are, and how valued you are by so many people. You haven’t been drunk because you haven’t wanted or needed to be. That’s not because of me.”
A crease forms on his forehead as he thinks my words through. “Maybe, but you’ve still helped me see what I’ve been taking for granted for too long. So, your promise to make me fall in love with music again? It’s working.”
Smiling, I lean down to kiss him. “Watch out, you’re feeding my ego. I might get a little cocky.”
“Absolutely not,” he whispers, stealing my next breath with his lips.
Our bodies become intertwined once again, and each time I learn more and more about how talented he really is, those fingers that expertly work guitar strings each night plucking so much pleasure and emotion out of me.
I fall asleep next to Nash at an all-time high. I’m happy, my feelings growing tenfold for him overnight between the joining of our bodies and the hushed confessions of the night.
It’s perfect.
Sweat drips down my back as I finish up the last of my reps. My muscles strain as I try and push my body a few more times.
“Keep pushing, Nash!” My trainer, Zach, says, clapping aggressively next to my ear until I’m done.
“Three…two…one…done!” he says, stepping back as I drop down from the pull-up bar.
Catching my breath, I walk toward the bench a few feet away from us. Grabbing the water bottle and a towel, I wipe at my face, removing the sweat from the workout.
“You psyched for the hometown show tomorrow?” he asks, taking a seat.
I follow his lead, falling onto one of the benches.
“Yes and no,” I answer. The truth is, I get to perform at the stadium I grew up attending football games at with my dad and brother.
It’s always a surreal moment when I’m standing on stage, on a field, remembering this is my life. But being in Colorado also reminds me of the rocky relationship I still have with my parents. They didn’t ever really give a damn about me or my younger brother until I made it big.
My dad laughed in my face when I told him about the talent show that would go on to change the trajectory of my life. He called me names that wo
uld stick with me for years when I told him I wanted to go for it and join a boyband.
And then our first record went platinum. Our songs could be heard on every local radio station, our tour selling out instantly. After that, he started to play the role of a father who gave a damn. My mom was just a passive parent, never really showing affection but never disciplining either.
As soon as I had any sort of money, I would send it home to my younger brother, Aiden. Our family wasn’t poor; there was always food on the table and a roof over our heads growing up, but he was a handful of years younger than me and I wanted him to have anything he wanted.
When I could, I would fly him out to travel with me, but he didn’t love being on the road like I did. He liked being home. He had a better relationship with our parents than I did, which made me only see him occasionally.
I know he’ll be there tomorrow. Despite the harboring resentment toward my parents, I still sent them two tickets to the show, just in case. Although deep down it wasn’t out of the kindness of my heart, it was to remind my dad that the dream I had that amused him so much was still selling out arenas.
“Any plans tonight?” Zach lines the weights back up on their rack, keeping the gym we rented out for the day neat as always.
His question brings a smile to my face, thinking of the plans I have for Nora. “Actually, yes,” I tell him. “Nora and I have plans.”
He nods his head. Nora has come to a few workouts with Zach over the last two weeks, claiming she needs to stay in shape. The two of them have gotten along great, which doesn’t come as a surprise. She gets along with everyone I’m close to. She’s slowly started placing herself more and more in my life, and I have no desire to stop her.
“Right on. Enjoy them! I can’t believe the North American leg of our tour is almost up.”
“I can’t either. Time has flown. But I’m also ready for a break before going overseas.” My brain has been all over the place trying to think of what Nora and I will do with our days off together. I asked her if she was going to go home at all, and her answer was an immediate no.
She’s been down about not being able to see Riley recently though, so tonight, as a surprise, I flew Riley out for the show. I rented us a cabin up in the mountains, a place that a few of the dancers, Sebastian, my brother, and Riley can all hang out with me and Nora. I thought it would be a fun way to get together the people that we’re closest to before heading abroad for a few months.
Nora doesn’t know it, and I’ve been amped all morning to surprise her with her best friend.
“Hope you get a few workouts in while on break.” Zach smirks, giving me shit.
I roll my eyes at him. He knows I’ll keep up with my workouts. They’re a part of my daily routine.
I’m kept busy the rest of the day with meeting after meeting. My team has been pressuring me about the next album, asking about songs I’ve written so far. Truth is, I wasn’t writing anything worth a damn for a while. But the more time I spend with Nora, the more I manage to throw together lyrics and some chords.
The song journal that was sitting empty for months is now starting to fill with ideas, with little snippets of lyrics or melodies for a song. She’s made me feel inspired again. She’s become my muse, but that doesn’t mean I want to share my words with my team just yet. The label is breathing down all our necks for me to release an album after this tour ends, but I’ve been pushing back.
They’re fine with me releasing songs I had no part in writing, but I put my foot down. I want this next album to be different. I want to go back to the way it was with my first album, where I had part in writing every single song. I assure my team that soon I’ll get them a couple of songs to demo; I just need a bit more time. They surprisingly allow me the time, something I wasn’t expecting them to concede to so easily.
“Has she landed?” Sebastian asks me from the driver’s seat, turning into the private airport’s parking lot.
Checking my phone, I see a text from the pilot from five minutes ago, stating that they’ve landed.
“Yes, they have,” I tell Bash. Pulling out a pair of sunglasses from a holder, I place them on my nose.
“What about Aiden?” he asks, putting the SUV in park.
“Aiden’s flight was earlier today when I had a meeting. I sent Monica to go pick him up.”
Bash laughs, his hand running over his lips to cover his smile. “Sorry, boss, but I’m picturing Aiden driving her fucking nuts the whole entire ride.”
I snicker, imagining the same thing. Aiden is only five years younger than me, but our personalities are vastly different. I would bet a lot of money that the fact that he never stops talking would drive Monica absolutely bat-shit-crazy.
“Why’d you have to pick Riley up? You have people for this, you know.” His jet-black hair is freshly cut, the hair cropped short on his head. I stare at a hair that appears longer than the others, spacing out before he gets my attention again.
“Yeah, well I didn’t know who to trust with Nora’s best friend. Plus, it’s not like I had anything going on,” I joke, both of us knowing there’s always something I should be doing.
“Is that her?” he asks, his eyes trained on a spot over my shoulder.
Turning around, I find Riley making her way toward us, fully enamored in a conversation with the pilot. Jake, one of the pilots I use often, appears to be wheeling her suitcase for her, his eyes trained on her as she babbles on about something we can’t hear. Whatever it is, it must be interesting, because he nearly walks right into a parked car, not paying attention to anything but her.
“Yep,” I say with a smile, just now noticing the captain’s hat that is perched on top of Riley’s head.
“You didn’t tell me Nora had a friend that looked like that,” Bash hisses, looking at Nora’s best friend.
Chuckling, I look toward Bash, my hand reaching for the door handle. “Put your tongue in your mouth, Sebastian. That’s Nora’s best friend. She’d probably kill you for looking at her friend like that.”
“Oh, but she wouldn’t have a problem with your pilot looking at her like that?” he argues, opening his own door.
I can’t help the laugh that escapes my lips, suddenly incredibly fascinated with how Riley is ruffling Sebastian’s feathers before ever even speaking to him. I’ve only met Riley in person once, the encounter brief when I sabotaged Nora’s goodbye dinner with her. However, I’ve gotten to know Riley a little better through the video chats Nora has had with her lately. Even though I don’t know her well, I can tell she has a huge personality, it’s completely obvious when she stops in front of us, Jake still beside her.
“Nash!” she says, showing off her white smile. “Have you met my friend Jake here? He let me wear his hat.” She pulls on the navy brim of the hat to show it off.
“Of course, he’s met him; he signs his paychecks,” Sebastian says from over the hood.
Riley’s head swivels to Sebastian, her mouth agape before quickly gaining her composure. “And you are?”
Jake suddenly looks uncomfortable, as if it’s just occurred to him that he’s heavily flirting with someone I paid him to fly here.
I join in on the conversation before Sebastian can be even more of an asshole. “His name is Sebastian,” I tell her, looking over my shoulder to give him a dirty look. “Someone whose paycheck is also signed by me.”
Bash sighs, looking away from us, suddenly very interested with something on the hood of the vehicle.
“Anywayyyy,” Riley drawls, “now that I’ve flown private, I don’t know how I could go back to flying coach. You ruin me, Nash.” Pulling the hat off her head, she gives it back to Jake with a smile. He takes it quickly, his eyes hesitantly looking to me as if I give a damn that he let her wear it.
“So, the flight was good I presume?” I question, reaching to grab her suitcase from Jake.
Riley flips her hair over her shoulder, biting her lip to hide a smile. “Real good,” she snickers. “It was f
ull service.”
Sebastian chokes on air just as Jake hurriedly excuses himself.
Riley steps up until she’s uncomfortably close to me. Pulling off my sunglasses without even asking, she looks me up and down. Her thin eyebrows pull together while she looks me over. “Nash Pierce in the flesh,” she muses, handing me back my sunglasses.
“Can I help you?” I laugh nervously.
Shrugging, she says, “Just had to get a good look at the famous popstar who’s fucking my best friend.”
Before I even have time to react, she pulls open the rear passenger door and climbs in. Sebastian and I both stare at each other dumbfounded as she slams the door. My fingers tighten around the handle of her suitcase, at a complete loss for words.
“Holy shit, I think I’m in love,” Sebastian announces, running a hand over his clean-shaven chin.
“Well, she’s something.” I walk to the trunk of the car, waiting for Sebastian to pop it. He takes the suitcase, then throws it in the back of the car.
Riley spins in her seat, her brown eyes assessing the two of us. “Can we stop for food? I’m famished.”
We manage to pull off the surprise for Nora. It takes her what felt like a full minute to process that her best friend was waiting on my bus. I’d texted Nora to come see me, telling her the door was unlocked and she could just come in.
Riley had been sitting in the driver’s seat, pretending she was driving the rig when Nora opened the door. Once Nora caught up to her best friend being here, she ran and tackled her, the two tiny girls falling to the floor in an embrace.
“I’ll leave ya to it,” Sebastian had said, patting me on the shoulder and escorting himself off the bus. He and Riley had spent the whole-time exchanging jabs on our way back from the airport. Neither one of them were bashful about their sudden attraction to the other.
It took a few hours to gather all the people coming up to the cabin with us. I had to spill the beans to Nora on the plan for the night when Riley basically ruined the surprise for her. Despite the surprise being spoiled before we even made it to the cabin, now that we’re standing in the doorway, it seems like it doesn’t faze Nora at all as she admires the vaulted ceiling of the log cabin.
Founded on Goodbye: A Rockstar Romance Page 18