Dad clears his throat. “I can see it in your eyes that you’re worried, like I was. But when I started to question what would happen to me, a bright light came in through the room and filled me with peace.” He pauses for another labored breath. “In that moment…I knew that God would provide for you and your mother. I spent the rest of the day researching who God was and what heaven was like. The next day, after finding out enough to satisfy my questions, the Internet shut down.”
I shudder. “Do you think this God caused the Internet shutdown?”
“I can’t know for sure.” Dad coughs into his fists. “But I do know there is hope. Look for God, Lin, and you will find Him.”
I awake with a desperate gasp for air, the sweltering heat coating my aching body in a damp sweat. “It was just a dream,” I tell myself, sitting up from the hardwood floor. But, dream or not, the experience makes my muscles shaky.
Why does the thought of God give me tremors through my whole body? If He doesn’t exist, why am I so afraid of Him?
I’m afraid that one day Dad will meet this God. And so will I.
“Dad?” I tiptoe into the living room to discover him right where I left him, leaning back in his recliner with his eyes closed. I slip my hand under his nose. A faint breath emits from his nostrils.
Although the dream spooked me, I wish Dad could speak in full sentences again. I want to know the truth, and he’s the only one who can give it to me. After all, how do I know that I didn’t imagine it? Why do I believe that this dream was so real?
“Dad, I had a crazy dream.” I don’t think he can hear me. I don’t even know if he’s awake. But I need to hear my dream out loud, so I can prove its absurdity. “It freaked me out. I...I don’t want you to go.” I sniff away the tears rushing to my eyes. “I’m scared, Dad. What’s going to happen to you?”
I gently slip my hand into his. He’s the last human connection I’ll ever have. I don’t want to imagine what will happen to me when he finally takes his last breath.
His last breath could be any minute now.
I take air into my own lungs, holding back the flood of tears. “I’m going to tell you about my dream. I don’t know if you can hear me, but I need to get it out.”
I recount every detail of the dream to Dad, expecting my dream to sound ridiculous in my ears. But with each word, I realize that my dream makes perfect sense. It’s totally against what I grew up believing, and even what he taught me as a child. But somehow, my dream answers all my questions.
I shake my head, cutting off my thoughts. “No. This can’t be real. I can’t believe it. It was hot up in the attic. This was all just some weird dream that—”
My heart skips a beat as Dad squeezes my hand tightly. How does he have that much strength in him?
I squeeze his hand back. Who am I going to believe? My dad, who gave everything for me, or the Liberty party, who took my entire life from me?
A sigh of relief escapes me as Dad opens his eyes, a tear rolling down his cheek. A matching tear glistens on my own. My lips curl into a grin. “Dad, I think I get it now. I have every reason to be thankful.”
When he opens his mouth to speak, he coughs up blood.
I gasp, jolting up from my seat. “Dad, are you okay?”
But instead of answering, he sits up, choking and grabbing for air.
“Dad, answer me. Please!”
He exhales deeply and lays limp in my arms. His blood spews onto my shirt.
“Dad...no…”
A pair of light blue eyes beam up at me, filled with peace.
I mouth the words, “You’re free.”
He’s free from pain. He’s free from worry over his wife. He’s free from the patrol officers who will be coming any day now to check up on him.
With no one watching me, I let the flood of tears come. I’m lonely. The presence of my father has left me, and now I’m completely alone.
“You were alive, and now you’re dead,” I whisper, forcing a smile as I recall the doctrine I’ve been taught. I’m happy that he’s no longer suffering, especially since he’s been skin and bones for so long. I just wish I could feel his warm embrace one more time.
Instead, a cold chill overtakes me. His loving touch is far from me. If only I hadn’t pushed him away for all those years.
The silence starts to eat away at me. I feel like screaming. Who would hear me anyway?
“Dad, wherever you went, I want to be there too.” I bend down on my knees and tuck my chin into my chest, watching the tears roll down onto the floor.
A few hours pass, I think. Time doesn’t seem to matter anymore, except to remind me of my impending doom. But what if there is hope?
“God, if You’re real, can You show me You’re there? That You have my dad? That he’s...”
I cut myself off and sniffle loudly, wiping the tears from my eyes. What does God feel like? Should I be expecting a loud voice or an earthquake?
My knees grow weak from kneeling for so long. I straighten my pants and huff. “What are you doing, Lin?” I shake my head. “Of course He’s not there.” I force myself to look at Dad’s dead body, lifeless next to me. “Look at where your hope got you, Dad.” In this moment, there is no hope. There’s nothing for me to believe in.
What kind of God kills someone right after I choose to believe in Him?
I stand up, wiping the dust from my shorts. The patrol officers will be looking for me, if they haven’t already. Maybe I can finally go back to my townhouse and hide—
A crash comes from my bedroom, shaking the whole house. Are they here already? I step into the kitchen, hiding behind the wall so I could see them before they see me.
Blood pumping, heart racing, I brace myself to take on a patrol officer.
What can I really do anyway? I’ll either be joining Mom or Dad. Wherever either of them are.
When no footsteps follow the sound of the crash, I assume it’s safe to check my bedroom. I thrust open the door with a threatening growl, just in case a patrol officer is waiting on the other side.
No one’s there.
My muscles tense as I step farther into my bedroom. “Hello?” The words squeak out of me. I clear the timidity out of my throat, clenching my fists in front of my face, ready to fight. I step on a small square device.
I bend down to examine it. A video drive. Did this one escape from my pile of love letters? It looks different from my collection. More advanced. There’s a green button with an arrow etched underneath it.
Press me, it seems to silently beg.
Where did this come from? I squint my eyes, looking for any threat to my existence that this video drive could cause. But even if it could do something, it doesn’t matter. I have nothing left to live for.
As I press the button, the face I’ve been avoiding for three years flashes in front of my face. “I know you’re here. Meet me outside in the backyard.”
My heart melts at the sound of his voice. After all these years, he still has that effect on me.
Chapter Twenty
The man who both comforts me and tortures me wants me to meet him. Can I trust him? Can I let myself be vulnerable again?
I smack my forehead, trying to knock some sense into my brain. No. There’s no way.
But my choices are limited. I have one can of beans left from Dad’s rations. The patrol officers are coming after me. Either way, whether I trust Don or stay here, I could suffer at the hands of a patrol officer.
I take as much as I can with me in my duffel bag and walk out of my parents’ house into the backyard. Instantly, I’m face-to-face with a white mo-pod and Don sitting on top of it.
“No…” He’s a patrol officer now? Is he coming to arrest me? I clench my fists, ready to run. He’s not taking me. Not today.
“Lin, so good to—"
Before I can hear the rest of his pithy statement, I bolt through the gate and out the front door. I run, not knowing where I’m going, knowing that it’s the right direction. I wh
izz past buildings and trees, the only two things that seem to be left in this town. Did all of Brooklyn really have such questionable social media activity?
As I turn the corner, a mo-pod is waiting for me. When I turn around, another one is not far behind. It’s like my dream, with the patrol officers circling around me, surrounding me, choking me.
But this time, I’ll fight.
The patrol officers stay on their mo-pods, revving their engines. I take their distance as my opportunity to strike.
“You think you can take me? Well, you’ve already taken everything from me.” I throw my hands into the air and spin around, acknowledging each one of them. “I know I have questionable social media activity. I know what I’ve done, but I’m not ashamed. I’m free. You’ll never take me as your prisoner.”
My speech is more out of desperation than out of bravery. I hope it’ll deter them away, like citronella to a swarm of mosquitoes. But it only makes them buzz more angrily toward me.
With fists up, I’m ready to take them on. The first one charges toward me and adrenaline rushes through my veins. Do it for Dad, I tell myself. The government killed him. He could’ve been alive if they didn’t cut off his rations. If they didn’t turn off the Internet.
My knuckles drive into the patrol officer, and he stumbles back a few steps before he composes himself. As his fiery eyes glare at me, I realize what I’ve done, and how my strength is limited when I’m not dreaming. Angry grunts from the others follow, and they all charge at me. I steel myself, quickly formulating a plan. When they all come at me, I crouch into a ball and put my fists over my head, bracing myself for their punches.
I take deep breaths as I try to slow my heart rate. The anticipation builds when I don’t feel a single fist on my back.
“All right, boys. That’s enough.”
“Sage?” I whisper under my breath.
I remember her words. Wait for your instructions. Is she working with Don? Was this all an act to get me to atone for threatening to murder them? Am I their prisoner?
“Stand down, men. I’ll take it from here.” The blonde woman in front of me removes her sunglasses and I see my best friend’s eyes in person for the first time since my wedding. Since seeing her nearly seven years ago, she’s acquired some wrinkles, but whatever weight she had from her pregnancy with twins is long gone.
She nods toward me as the patrol officers turn on their bike and ride past me, the wind making my hair fly.
“Did you receive any instructions?” she asks.
Can I tell her about Don? “Yes.” I decide to keep it vague.
“Then why didn’t you follow them?” She reaches out her hand. “I told you to stay home until you have further instructions.”
“But—”
“No.” She holds up her hand. “Listen to me. Go with him. Don’t ask questions. He’ll explain everything.”
Sage says enough to tell me what I need to know. She’s working with Don, and they have a plan for me.
“How do I know I can trust you?” I ask, my fists still clenched.
“Because I know what they did to your mom, and I can help you get her back.”
Mom. How dare she use my mother against me! Tears burn in my eyes, both at the thought of rescuing Mom, and at the thought that none of these people want me.
Dad would want me to fight for Mom.
Quietly, obediently, I follow Sage around the corner, where a lone mo-pod is waiting for me. “This is where I leave you.” Without another word, she keeps walking as the mo-pod whirs toward me. The smell of his cologne makes me dizzy, but it’s nice to have something familiar.
“Ready to go?” he asks, straightening his sunglasses.
I purse my lips and walk toward him. “If going with you is the only way I can save Mom, I guess it’s worth it.”
Don grabs me by the waist and carries me off, like he’s arresting me. Except this time, we speed down the street. “It’s gonna be a little bumpy,” he mumbles. “Close your eyes.”
The mo-pod bolts faster and faster down the street until the sound of the tires bumping along the asphalt road turns to the whirring of a motor. I open my eyes, curious about what’s happening. The wheels rotate into the body of the bike, creating what looks like two doors on a
car. Two white sheets of metal slide out from the handles and cover us, the end meeting the top of the tires.
We’re flying.
Chapter Twenty-One
“Don! What are you doing?” I try to push him off me with both hands, but his grip is strong, and between the change in altitude and him holding my abdomen, I’m ready to throw up.
I close my eyes again, pretending this isn’t happening. None of this is real. This is all a dream, and in a few moments, I’ll wake up in my townhouse with a hot cup of coffee waiting for me and Tobi giving me my schedule for the day.
But Don’s voice in my ear sends chills down my spine, bringing me back to this moment, which is crazier than anything I could dream. “Stop fightin’ me. What, ya wanna jump off this thing? We’re pretty high up, ya know.”
My heart pounds out of my chest and I take deep, even breaths. Don’t think about being in an enclosed space. Don’t think about the fact that you’re high up. Just breathe.
But my thoughts cease when I open my eyes to the man of my dreams, and my nightmares, Don Green.
“Welcome back, sweetheart,” he says flatly.
I collapse onto his shoulder, his arm still around my waist. I’m grateful for a familiar face. I’d rather be anywhere than here, but here is all I have now.
“We’ll be in the air for a couple hours. We just needed to get away from Brooklyn.”
Dizziness clouds my mind as I stand up. “Excuse me? Hours? We’re leaving Brooklyn? Where are we going?”
Thoughts reel through my head before he can give me an explanation. Is he arresting me? Am I going where Mom is? Does he know what’s going on?
Don chuckles. “Wow, after not seeing each other for three years, it’s so strange that this is our first conversation together.” My head moves against his shoulder as he shrugs.
“Save it, Don.”
“Looks like I just saved you.” He releases me from his grip, and I tremble as my feet softly land on the metal floor. “Don’t worry. It’s safe to walk on this thing.”
I whip my head around to explore my surroundings. The pod itself is a little taller than I am, but when I stretch out my hands, there’s barely enough room before my fingers reach the sides. When I pull my arms back, I accidentally rub shoulders with my ex-husband.
He’s right. This is strange.
Breathe, Lin. It’s all I can do to keep me from losing it. When I breathe, I notice the faint scent of strawberries. I can’t remember the last time I had fresh strawberries.
Don has a cell phone in his hand. “How did you get that?” I ask. “Does the government have access to phones? Are you a—”
“Sheesh, Lin. You and your questions. Some things never change.” He slips his phone into his pocket. “We have several hours before we land, so you can ask all the questions ya want. Oh, yeah. I have something for ya.” He swings the backpack he’s wearing toward the front of him and zips it open. “Hungry?”
I swallow hard, trying not to vomit. “No. Wait.” I look around the mo-pod. “Where’s my duffel bag?”
“Oh, this thing?” He slips the bag out of what used to be the trunk of the bike. “I picked it up after you ran off. By the way, that was stupid.”
I stamp my foot and throw my hands into the air, gaining confidence in the floor. “What are you talking about? You think after three years I’m just going to trust you, just because you showed up? What in the world is wrong with you?” I put my hands on my head and pull my hair, desperate for some sense of control. “Get me out of here. Now.”
“No can do, Lin. I’m trying to get us high enough so that we’re not within range of the patrol officers.”
I fall to the floor and land on my
knees. Dizzy. “No. Stop.”
“That’s it, Lin. Just take a nap and we’ll talk when you’re ready.”
Before I can say another word, the world around me fades to black and I enter a deep sleep.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“Trust me, Lin. Everything’s gonna be all right.”
Don’s voice makes me sit up. “What makes you think I can trust you? You ruined everything.”
He holds out his hands. “Easy, girl. Don’t make accusations like that.”
“Well, you did.”
“I only ruined everything because you didn’t trust me.”
I gasp, propping my hands on my hips. “Are you kidding me? You’re blaming me for the affair?”
“I didn’t say that. Please, just let me explain.” There’s a hint of desperation in his voice. I’m not buying it.
“No. Never. Nothing you could say would ever make me trust you again.”
“Well then, you’re just gonna have to—”
A sudden bump startles me awake. I sit upright, but my eyes are still half closed. “Dad...I just had the worst dream.”
As I come to my senses, I remember where I am. It hits me all at once.
“Dad! No!” I scream, clutching my head, trying to squash out the memory of Dad’s limp body laying against my arm. The blood. The breath. The tears.
I close my eyes, sobbing uncontrollably, wishing this was all over. But I feel like it’s only just begun.
“Whoa! Good mornin’ to you.” Don kneels and offers his hand. “You all right?”
I wipe my mouth and glare at him. “No, I’m not all right. None of this would’ve happened if it wasn’t for you.” I wince. “Ow. My head.”
“You slept for about an hour and a half. Whatever dream you were having wasn’t a pleasant one. You were whispering, ‘No, never…’”
“Funny. Tobi would have given me the same sleep analysis.”
“Well, Tobi didn’t give you drugs to help you sleep.”
In Real Life Page 8