“I mean, we are a community,” I mumble, my gaze fixed on her. My statement was meant to be sarcastic, but to my surprise, she takes it literally.
“Exactly. We have accountability around here for a reason.”
“And what, may I ask, is that reason?”
“To protect ourselves and our hackers.”
Would I be willing to kill someone to protect Don? I know Spark isn’t a great guy, but is he really better off dead? I wonder if Don would do the same for me. Then again, he did risk his life to delete my archive so the Liberty party wouldn’t look for me.
Susan leads me into the kitchen, the smell of dirty water overwhelming my nostrils again. She reaches into a cabinet and pulls out what looks like to-go boxes. I take five of them from her hands.
“Now, let’s see what Ace has in the fridge.” She pokes her head inside and hums approvingly. “Tee needs plenty of nutrients, now that she’s recovering.” She hands me some celery sticks, carrot sticks, cucumbers, chicken, rice, onions, and bean sprouts. “Looks like Ace was going to make stir fry for dinner. This’ll have to do for now.”
We work together and fill the plates, Susan chopping the celery, carrots, cucumbers, and onions, while I portion out the rice and slice the chicken on top. As I put the lid on each box, I feel a strain on my upper arms. “Ouch. I guess Ben is heavier than I thought.”
Susan clicks her tongue. “You’ve been through a lot these past couple of days. Remember when you fell in the lake?”
I blush as I place a lid on the final box. “Oh, right. Thanks for coming for me. Again.”
“It was Ace’s idea. He really seems to be fond of you.”
My eyes flickered in her direction. “You think so?”
“Oh, absolutely. I’ve known him for several months, and I’ve never seen him come more alive than when he’s with you or talking about you.”
I keep my head down, but I can’t hide my smile. It’s been a while since I’ve had that effect on someone, making them come alive. Then again, maybe I never had that effect on Don.
“Well, what about you?” I ask, desperate to get the attention off myself. “How did you become the leader of the Community?”
“I was the first one to get my archive deleted, as the hackers say. They chose me to establish a safe place for them to bring the others, including you.”
“So you’ve met all the hackers?” That doesn’t sound safe for the rest of us.
“No. Just mine. But they’re all in communication with one another. Mine would tell me what the others are saying.”
“Do you know if they’re all meeting together?” I ask, my curiosity getting the best of me. Finally, an opportunity to get all my questions answered.
“That, I’m not sure. But from my critical thinking on the matter, it wouldn’t be safe for them all to be together. They’re probably in different undisclosed locations. Like this one.”
My eyes widen. “Is it possible our hackers are here? Just…a little further?”
Susan shakes her head. “Lin, it’s best you don’t worry about them. They’re doing their job, and they’ve chosen to remain anonymous for a reason. We have to trust that they have a plan in all of this.” She hands me a paper bag. “Come now. Let’s bring the food to the others.”
The sun is beginning its descent, much earlier than it was when I first arrived here. Ace runs into us on the way to Tee’s cabin. “Here, let me help you with that.” He takes the paper bag out of my hand and his fingers brush against mine.
“Thank you,” I exhale, swallowing my emotions. Susan’s words about him are swirling in my head, preventing me from being afraid in this moment. I make him come alive.
“You’ve had a long day. Get some rest.”
“You too,” I mumble, watching him walk past me toward the dining hall. Will we ever get to be alone again?
When we arrive at Tee’s cabin, I realize why Ace calls mine “elite.” Hers is about half the size of mine, and its exterior looks dilapidated. I knock on the front door and Nelle answers.
“Food’s here!” she yells, taking the bag from Ace. “Nice to see you guys, too.”
Inside, the cabin looks like one giant room. There’s a small sitting area in the front, overlooking the outside. Past the dining area and little kitchen, I get a full view of Tee’s bed, where she’s laying, and the baby sleeping in an old crate.
“Hey, welcome back,” Tee says weakly. “Thanks for bringing us dinner.”
“It was the least I could do,” I say. “Here. I’ll come sit with you.” I pull up one of her chairs and sit at the foot of the bed. We all gather around her with our to-go plates. Nelle prays over the food, and we start eating.
“How are you feeling?” I ask before stuffing the first bite into my mouth.
“To be honest, I’m sick of answering that question,” Tee replies. “Recovery is hard.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, focusing my gaze on my food.
“Well, maybe we can share stories instead.” Nelle casts a glance at Susan. “Can we tell Lin about where we come from?”
Susan folds her hands over her lap as she sits. “As long as you leave out any information about your hackers and any relationships that could identify them, you’re free to discuss.”
Tee swallows her food. “I’ll go first. I’m proud to talk about my story.”
I smile. “I’d love to hear it.”
“Well, one of my relatives was my hacker. Can you believe it?” Tears well up in her eyes. “I don’t know how he found out about the rebel party, but he knew exactly how to clear my name. He told me to get into a self-driving car that was programmed to bring me here. Then…” She caves into herself. “They took him away.” She groans as Nelle puts her hand on hers. “I’m never going to see him again.”
“Your relative was captured?” I ask. “Sorry to hear that. They took someone I care about, too.”
“Your hacker?” Tee asks.
“No. It’s a long story.”
“We all have long stories,” Nelle says.
I poke at a piece of chicken. “What’s yours?”
She sits up in her chair and takes a deep breath. “Well, as you know, it’s illegal to post anything religious on social media. My parents raised me to know God, and I’ve been following him secretly my whole life. One day, someone posted that Christians are a disgrace to the Liberty party and to all Americans. I called him out for talking about religion, and we got into a heated debate. I ended up sharing about my faith in God, and telling him that I would pray for him. My account was reported for posting religious content, while his post went viral.”
I remember reading that post a few months ago. Before the shutdown, it made sense to me. Now, I’m not so sure anymore. “I’m sorry,” I say. And I mean it.
Nelle’s mouth twitches into a grin. “When the shutdown happened, I thought I would be spending my last few days alive in jail. Until someone from my church deleted my archive for me. He sent me here and told me to encourage everyone I can.”
“I’m glad he sent you here,” Tee says, not missing a beat. “Without you, I wouldn’t have found hope.”
“Hope?” I look around at the ladies surrounding me. At the new baby that should be dead. We should all be dead. I guess that’s what hope’s all about.
“I didn’t know churches were still meeting,” Susan says. “Was it a secret church?”
“Yeah, it’s still secret. I guess, in a way, we’re like our hackers. Working in the shadows, trusting in a plan that doesn’t make complete sense to us.”
“God’s plan?” I ask.
“Yep. Everything he taught us in the Bible.” Nelle points to her head. “I had to memorize it before they burned all the Bibles in our town. My hacker wanted to give me the only one they saved, but I couldn’t do that. I didn’t know if—” Before she can finish, she chokes on her words. Tears forming in her eyes, she puts her hand over her face.
I finish her sentence in my head. If I’d eve
r come back. I’ve learned that we’re most likely stuck here. Yet, in the midst of it, there’s hope.
We have hope in God, and hope in each other.
“Are you comfortable sharing your story, Lin?” Tee asks.
I wince. No. How can I even talk about it without exposing my hacker? My husband cheated on me with my best friend. We got divorced. My dad died. Suddenly my ex-husband came back to redeem me.
“It’s okay, Lin,” Nelle says. “You don’t have to—”
“Someone I loved hurt me along with someone else I care about. Everyone I called family has been taken from me, both by the patrol officers and by death, and I spent the last five years living alone. My hacker brought me here and I’m still not sure why. I honestly don’t know what to believe about all of this.”
A hush falls over the room and I cross my legs together, wishing I could hide. Way to be dramatic, Lin. Why couldn’t I just share about finding Lola, about something positive?
I swallow hard and look over at Ace, whose eyes are fixed on his empty plate. I wish I could’ve spoken to him about this in private, to tell him the truth. Someone I loved. I’m not sure if I could ever love Ace the way I loved Don. My heart may be too broken to love again.
“What about you, June?” I ask, fighting the tears forming in my eyes. I’ll do anything to get the attention off of me. Besides, I’m eager to know her story. I feel like I know her the least out of everyone in the group.
“Well, I’m here because I’m irrelevant,” she says softly.
“Irrelevant? What does that mean?”
“The government ranks us based on our social media activity. The frequency of our activity and the quality of our posts affects our rank in society. Since I didn’t like posting on my social media page, my rank is basically non-existent.”
I sat up in my chair, nearly dropping my rice on the floor. “Wait, so the government said you didn’t exist because you didn’t post on your social media page?”
She nods. “Basically. They never sent me ration boxes because they didn’t know I existed. Then again, I didn’t really need them. I found out about this place before the shutdown.”
“Before? How?”
“From our IT guy. He came to fix my grandma’s phone connection to the TV. He told me all about the shutdown and took me away from home in this flying motorcycle thing.”
I stare at her with widened eyes. It doesn’t shock me that she doesn’t have any social media activity. What shocks me is that we might have the same hacker.
Chapter Forty-Seven
The morning light peeks through my window and I shield it from my eyes with my elbow. “Five more minutes…”
I roll over and a pain throbs in my legs and arms. Groaning, I lay flat on my back and extend my arms out to the side. The memories of the past few days swarm through my mind, circling around me like vultures waiting for food. Mom. Drowning. New normal. Friends. Tee’s screams. Babies. Hope. Don. Suspicion.
One after the other the images flash before me, and I grab my head to get a sense of what’s happening inside of me. My dreams seem to have stopped, but my thoughts while awake are more intimidating.
I know this is real. There’s no way I could make it up.
Spark’s a traitor.
Taking a deep breath, I thrust myself out of the bed and land on the floor. My arms are like gelatin as I push myself up.
After struggling to change my clothes, I clench my fists and slowly open the front door. Nelle’s on the way to the dining hall.
“Good morning, Lin.” Nelle stretches her arms and yawns. “How’d you sleep?”
“Surprisingly well. I think my dreams stopped.”
She runs her fingers through her hair. “Ooh, that’s good news. What do you think changed?”
I shrug. “Maybe I got all the answers I need.”
As the wind blows, the trees around us release some of their leaves. The brown and orange leaves dance their way to the ground.
“Do you think God was trying to speak to you?”
I look at her with bent eyebrows. “God? Why would he speak to me?”
“Well, he spoke to your dad. Maybe he’s trying to get your attention, too.”
“God didn’t speak to my dad.” I shake my head as I remember his words. “My dad was curious about God, so he searched for information about him. From what he told me, he didn’t hear a voice from the sky or anything. He said he felt peace like a light.”
“Sounds like God to me. That’s how God speaks to us.” She points to the trees. “Do you see the beauty in the landscape? In wildlife? In people? God created all of this, and the Bible says that nature is a reminder of his existence.”
“So, God speaks to us through the trees?”
“Not in a voice, no. But tell me. Have you ever had a thought that didn’t quite feel like your own?”
“Oh, of course. That was God?”
She nods, her bright honey eyes infused with small specks of green. “He speaks to us in a way we understand. You seem to put a lot of faith in your dreams. Maybe he used that to get your attention.”
My eyes widen as the realization hits me. Dad, a familiar person, was always in my dream, trying to get me to hug him, and Don, the last person I spoke to from my past life, had to explain what was going on. “I guess it worked.”
“Maybe your dreams stopped because you’re learning about God through your experiences. And if you’ll let me, I can teach you about his Word, so you’ll know what he sounds like.”
“I’d like that.”
We walk into the room and my eyes lock with Ace’s. Susan’s words pop into my head again. I make him come alive. I look away before my face gets warm.
June’s already sitting at our table. Tee has a pass from meals until she’s able to walk on her own again. We pray over our meals and start eating.
Nelle looks around. “So, Lin, did you ever find out why Spark was acting so weird about Tee’s c-section?” she asks. “I know you didn’t trust him at first.”
I pause before putting a bite of food in my mouth. We don’t want to worry the others. But can I lie? “Susan told me not to worry about it. I guess she’s handling it.” It’s not exactly a lie. Susan did take care of it. But I know way more than I can tell them now.
“I just can’t stop thinking about it,” she says. “I mean, why was he so quick to assume there was something wrong with the baby?”
“Well, you’ve been here longer. You probably know suspicious activity better than I do.”
“But Lin, you were so sure he was up to something. Aren’t you the least bit curious?”
I dump my fork in my plate. “I already told you, Susan told me not to worry about it. If you want to go behind her back and do your own investigation, fine by me. But I’m going to trust her.”
My answer finally shuts her up. I pick up my fork and shovel the food into my mouth, stuffing the words I want to say—the truth—deep into my gut.
“Thanks for sharing your story with us last night,” June says after some silence. “I’m sure it was hard to trust us at first.”
I toss her a half grin before swallowing my last bite of food. “I mean, you all opened up to me. And it seems like our stories aren’t that different.” The question tugs at me. Is Don your hacker, too?
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Susan approaching our table. “Good morning, ladies.”
“Good morning, Susan,” we say in unison.
“Lin, may I have a word with you, please?”
My muscles tense. I kept it a secret. Could she have known that Nelle asked me about Spark?
I screen my chair against the floor as I get up. “What’s going on?” I ask her when I’m out of earshot from the others.
“Spark’s going to offer you a job today.”
I take a step back. “What? Already? How did that happen?”
“Keep your voice down. I need you to act surprised so you don’t tip off the others. I talked to him last n
ight. It’s time we figure out what’s going on with him and what he’s hiding.”
I lower my head a little closer to hers. “The others are getting suspicious. Nelle asked me about him a few minutes ago.”
“And what did you tell her?”
“That you told me not to worry and you were handling it.”
“Good. Let them get suspicious. But we can’t let them know what we know yet. Their suspicion will only help our case when it’s time to put him on trial.”
My eyes flicker toward Ace, who’s packing up the leftovers. “I’m nervous.”
“Don’t be. I’m going with you. I might not be able to be there while you’re working, but I can stand with you when he offers you the job.”
“That’d be great.”
I feel deflated. Every muscle in my body is sore, but now my heart is sore, too. The confidence that I’ve been pretending to have is running out. I’m truly broken.
I need help.
Chapter Forty-Eight
The four of us walk out of the dining hall, leaving Ace to clean off the tables. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Spark smiling and waving at me from the medical clinic door. “Lin, I’d like to speak to you for a moment, please.”
My muscles tense and my eyes flicker toward Susan. Nelle’s eyebrows are halfway up her forehead.
“Wait here, ladies,” Susan says, leading me toward the clinic. After going there so many times, I suddenly can’t remember how to walk a straight line.
As I approach Spark, I muster a smile. Then I remember that when I speak to Spark, I normally appear determined and standoffish. So my lips form a strange combination of a stale face and a grin.
“Lin, good morning. You’re looking happy today.”
His sarcastic comment makes me fully smile. “What’s going on?”
“Well, Blair and I have been thinking about how much you helped us to deliver Tee’s baby, making sure she was comfortable and encouraging her when we didn’t think Ben would make it.”
In Real Life Page 18