Christ almighty. My entire life for the last two years has shifted in an instant. I have a daughter with a woman I now realize I barely know. She’s not the person I thought she was. I glance over at her now, and see the love she has for our baby. That much is real. Question is, what does this mean for the three of us?
I run my hands down my face, trying to wrap my head around what she’s told me.
Rachel shifts Jamie to her shoulder to burp her but she hasn’t taken her eyes off me.
“Tyler, please say something. I understand if you hate me for lying to you, but I don’t think I bear it if you took it out on our daughter.”
I can see tears in her eyes and fuck, if that doesn’t still get me. Knowing we need to talk this out, I take a seat next to Rachel. God, it’s fucking weird calling her that, but if I’m being honest, the name suits her.
“All right, Rachel, I really can’t say where we go from here, but you need to know a few things first. I loved you back in Florida. At least, I loved who I thought you were. I would never hold your lies against Jamie.” I start to choke up when I say her name.
Jamie is absolutely beautiful, just like her mama. The need to feel my baby girl in my arms overwhelms me.
“May I hold her?” I ask, not knowing how Rachel is going to react.
“Of course. You don’t ever have to ask for permission. She’s your daughter, and always will be, no matter what goes on between us.”
Sitting back against the sofa, I begin to grow nervous with anticipation. Rachel shifts over and when she does, the dress she’s wearing opens at little, exposing her thighs. It’s the place I loved spending my free time. Didn’t matter if my face was buried there, or my dick. It always felt like home.
“Here you are. Just hold her close to you.” She hands Jamie to me. The minute she’s in my arms, a sense of peace and calm passes over me.
Rachel is smiling, though she has tears in her beautiful eyes.
“She’s perfect, Rachel. I can’t believe we have a child.”
“I know. I found out I was pregnant two weeks after the feds sent you here. I stopped myself from telling you so many times. I knew I should stay away to keep you safe, but I just couldn’t help myself anymore. It’s selfish, I know, but with the main players either dead or behind bars, I had to take a chance. I couldn’t let you live the rest of your life not knowing you had a daughter.”
Whatever anger I felt when I learned she played me is quickly waning. Rachel has given me a wonderful gift.
“She’s probably ready to finish this.” Rachel hands me Jamie’s bottle.
“You want me to feed her?” I ask. I’ve never done this before.
“Of course, well, if you want to.”
“I don’t think I’m ready just yet. I want to watch you.”
“OK,” she says, and I don’t miss the disappointment in her voice.
I feel sad Tyler doesn’t want to do more than Jamie, but I get it. I’ve dropped a huge bombshell on him.
“Where did you intend to stay once you got here? I mean, do you have a place to stay already?” he asks, never taking his eyes off his daughter.
Be cool, Rach. Don’t let him see just how desperate you really are. No job, no place to live… I know, I’m a real catch.
I lie so I don’t put him on the spot. “I have a hotel room across town, I just haven’t checked in yet. Came here straight from the airport.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Kitten, you staying at a hotel. Even though I’ve started my new life and it’s been relatively quiet, I can’t protect you or Jamie if you’re in a hotel. You should just stay here until we figure something out. I have a second bedroom. I can set you both up in there.”
It’s more than I could’ve hoped for, so I’ll take it. I decide to do a little digging.
“OK, but I don’t mean to be a burden, especially if you have a girlfriend. She might not look too kindly on another woman and your baby staying here.” Please tell me you haven’t met someone.
Tyler moves closer to me, with Jamie in his arms. “There’s never been anyone else, Kitten, only you.”
What am I doing? The only woman I’ve ever loved is in my home with my baby. My baby. It’s all surreal. I feel as though I’m watching this day unfold from another world. I want to be hurt. I want to hate her. I just can’t.
I know she had a job to do, but when I think about those nights I worried for her safety, well, I guess she could’ve taken care of herself. Jesus. One minute, I feel like a fucking fool, but then I look at her and I’m grateful she’s here, no matter what her name is.
“How could you ever think I could love someone the way I loved you? You’ve ruined me for any other woman.”
I can see Rachel swallow hard, and the thought of her mouth on me makes my dick hard. I shift in my seat, needing to pump the brakes. It’d be so easy to forget about the last year, the loneliness, and the memories of Franny. It’d be so easy to give in to my wanting her, but I just can’t. Not yet.
Rachel gently takes a drowsy Jamie from me, and places her in the stroller. “Look. I know this is a big shock to you, and I’m thankful you don’t hate me, OK? The fact that I showed up here with a child you didn’t know existed, and you didn’t turn your back, is a good thing. I’m not looking to looking to weasel my way back into your life, Tyler.”
That damn name again. It’s been easy to be Tyler with people who don’t know my past, but with her, the name is just wrong.
“I don’t like it when you call me Tyler. It’s not right between you and me.”
Rachel places her hand on my shoulder and my body electrifies. Yep, the connection is still there…at least for me.
“I know it’s not, but I can’t call you Vinny anymore. It might put you in danger and I won’t do that. Just coming here is taking a big chance. I waited as long as I could, but every day away from you felt like a lie.”
“No more lies, Rachel. I’ve already missed out on your pregnancy and Jamie’s first few months because of them. I need to know one more thing, and please don’t bullshit me.”
Rachel stands in front of me. We’re face-to-face, eyes locked. “I won’t ever lie to you again, Tyler. I battled telling you who I really was every day. I knew I could trust you, please don’t think I didn’t. But telling you would’ve put you in greater danger.”
“Then tell me, right here right now, that what we had wasn’t a lie. No matter the answer, Rachel, I’ll never doubt you.”
“I already told you. My feelings for you were real, Tyler. My heart started beating the moment you came into my life. I’m not going to say that I regret going undercover to bring down Dagger. If I hadn’t taken that assignment, I would’ve never met you.” She looks down at Jamie. “I wouldn’t have her.”
I don’t know why I do it, but I ask her the question I’m not sure I want the answer to. “And what about now, Rachel? Do you still feel that way about me now? As Tyler, not Vinny?”
Rachel moves as close to me as she can without touching me. “I love you, no matter what your name is. There will never be another man for me, no matter if you want me or not.”
Her statement hits me square in my soul, and I believe her. Our love wasn’t a lie.
Moving fast, I take her face in my hands and crash my lips against hers. The taste of her is just as sweet as it was a year ago.
Just as Rachel responds to my kiss, Jamie begins to fuss. We each take a step back, trying to catch our breath. Rachel is looking at me how she used to, with fierce passion in her eyes.
Pulling away is difficult, I’ve missed her too damn much, but I reluctantly let her go. Rachel takes Jamie from the stroller and brings her to me. “Do you want to hold your daughter again?”
When she says it, I know I must. I’m already in love with this little girl and I’m more scared now than I’ve ever been.
“I want to hold her but don’t leave me with her,” I say, and it must sound funny. I mean, I’m not a small guy but this a
ngel, my angel, is so precious.
Rachel giggles and it sounds like heaven. “I’m not going anywhere. She’s still too small to wiggle out of your arms. Just cradle her like I’m doing, like you did before, and you’ll be fine.”
I sit on the sofa as she leans down to hand me my daughter. The feel of her in my arms is surreal. Jamie looks up, as if she’s pleading with me not to ever let her go.
I won’t, baby girl. I swear.
Looking down at the two loves of my life, I’m thankful for the second chance we’ve been given. Night after night, I prayed that God would protect both of us from the MC and the cops who killed Colt’s dad.
When I found out I was pregnant, I took it as a sign we weren’t done yet. I’d like to think our story is just beginning.
“She’s beautiful, just like you, Kitten,” he says, never taking his eyes from hers.
Handing him Jamie’s pacifier, I decide to gauge his feelings. “Are you happy we’re here?”
Tyler looks from Jamie to me, and his eyes are filled with concern. “Shit, Rachel, of course I’m glad you’re here. Couldn’t you tell from that kiss? But it doesn’t change the fact that coming here is dangerous to all three of us. I’m just not sure what to do about it yet.”
“I wouldn’t have come here if I didn’t think it was somewhat safe. The bad guys are either dead or in prison. With Dagger dead, the Falcons have gotten out of the drug business. Most of the guys have families now, and want to go back to the way it was when Colt’s dad was alive. I’ve met with a few of them and they were thankful to weed out the bad seeds.”
Tyler moves Jamie to his shoulder. “Dagger’s dead?”
Dammit, I forgot he didn’t know.
“Yeah, he lasted two months in prison, then he had a heart attack.”
He nods but doesn’t say anything.
“I’m glad the Falcons are cleaning up their shit. They used to be a great club years ago. But I’m still concerned about any potential holdovers from the murder case. There’re still people who would love to see me dead, Rachel.”
I move closer to him. “You are dead to them. Vinny is dead, remember? As far as anyone knows, he died a hero, saving Franny from Dagger. As far as anyone coming after me, let’s just say the Falcons are on it, as repayment for vouching for them at trial.”
“What do you mean, you vouched for them at trial?”
“I got on the stand and told the truth. Dagger was the only one involved with the murder of Colt’s father. He was the one bringing the drug business into town. Because of my testimony, all the other members were cleared in any wrongdoing. They said they owed me protection.”
Tyler stands and hands me Jamie. I can tell he doesn’t like what I just told him, but I’m not sure which part pissed him off the most.
“What the hell were you thinking, telling the Falcons who you were? Christ, Kitten. They could’ve killed you, and now you tell me you’re under their protection?”
Jamie is ready to fall back to sleep so I place her back in her stroller. Tyler is running his hands through his hair as he paces the living room.
“You have to understand that after you left, I had to testify. You and I were the only two who could put the dirty cops away. I wanted you safe, so I had my boss secure Witness Protection for you. Getting the FBI to offer you a deal was the only way to show you how much I loved you.”
“Fuck. Why would you do that? You put yourself in such danger, Rachel. For what? Me?”
It feels like it takes me years to get across the room to where he’s standing.
“Yes, I did it for you, Colt, and me. Look, it’s not what I set out to do when I took that assignment. Meeting you and hearing about Colt’s suspicion, well, I couldn’t just sit by. Don’t you know I’d do anything for you, including quit the FBI?”
Tyler isn’t looking at me. He’s still pissed.
I need to touch him and for him to feel how much I love him. I walk up behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist, and lay my head against his back.
“Kitten, I would’ve died if anything happened to you.” He doesn’t make a move to turn around, but places his hands over mine. “I guess it all makes sense now. When I told the feds that I’d go into Witness Protection, I made sure they wouldn’t charge you with anything. Apparently, they weren’t going to charge you anyway.”
He laughs but I can tell he doesn’t find it funny. Tyler breaks away from me and the loss of his body against mine makes me ache.
“I thought I was protecting you, but you were the one protecting me all the time, Kitten. Do you know how that makes me feel?”
I can almost hear a resentment in his voice, but I’m not going to let him pity himself. “Tell me. Tell me how it makes you feel, knowing that I loved you enough to let you leave.”
Goddamn it. She’s right. Rachel let me leave so I could live my life. I need to man up and be thankful she’s here now. And she’s given me a daughter. Don’t get me wrong, I never really planned to have a family, but now I can’t imagine not having Jamie.
It took less than a day for me to fall in love with her. If I’m being honest, I feel as if God has smiled down on me. I need to stop being a douche and let Rachel know just how grateful I am.
“Kitten,” I whisper as I take her into my arms, and she immediately breaks down.
“I’ve missed you so much,” she says against my chest. “I was so afraid you’d hate me for lying to you. I knew my heart couldn’t take it if you did, but I had to try.”
As I rub her back, I sense her tension fading, as is mine. I still want her, no matter what her name is. Pulling back a little, so I can see her face, I wipe the tears with my thumb. “No more tears, Rachel. Tonight is a celebration. You and my daughter are here with me now. That’s all that matters.”
“I love you, Vinny,” she says. It surprises me she uses my real name. “Just for tonight, I want you to be Vinny. Tomorrow, you can be Tyler for the rest of your life.”
Rachel leans up and kisses me. I can feel it from my lips to my dick, just like I used to. “I love you too, Kitten. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop.”
As our lips touch, I silently plead for my daughter to stay asleep so I can get reacquainted with her mama.
Rachel responds to my kiss by rubbing her hard nipples against me. She’s tempting me to lose control, knowing they are my weakness. I counter her temptation by teasing her pussy with my dick, grinding against her. Let’s see how she likes it.
Apparently, she likes it a lot because her moans grow loader. Needing to quiet her, so Jamie doesn’t wake, I deepen our kiss, swallowing the sounds.
Moving my hands down to her ass, I lift her up and she immediately wraps her legs around me. Memories of those summer nights, when we would sneak time together, come flooding back.
I’m overwhelmed with emotions I’ve kept locked away for a year. My Franny is here with me and with our daughter.
She sighs in frustration when I pull back, but when Rachel sees my face, she smiles. “I know, baby. It’s a lot to take in. We’ve missed a whole year, but I’m hoping this is only the beginning of our lives together.”
It’s all she needs to say. The only answer I give her is sliding her back down my body, making sure to touch every part of her as she goes. She shivers, then gazes up at me, her eyes dark with desire. Grabbing the stroller, I wheel it into my bedroom. Rachel follows quietly.
“She should be down for an hour or so,” she whispers.
“Well, sweetheart, it’s been a year, so we can probably do it more than once in that amount of time.”
Rachel lifts her eyebrows. “You haven’t been with anyone since you left town?”
I grab her roughly, slamming her body against mine. “I tried, Rachel,” I tell her truthfully. “I wanted to forget the fact that I’d never see you again. I couldn’t do it. I haven’t been with anyone since you.”
He hasn’t been with anyone since leaving Florida. My heart soars knowing he couldn’t be w
ith someone else. Now he’s looking at me silently, and I know he’s wondering if I’ve been with anyone.
“No, Vinny, I haven’t been with anyone else. Even if I wasn’t pregnant with Jamie, I wouldn’t want anyone else. You’re it for me.”
Here we are, face-to-face, admitting we don’t want to share our beds with other people. With all that happened last year, and the fact that I withheld who I really was, how could he feel this way? It boggles my mind.
He moves closer to me. Grabbing me by my hips, he pulls my body flush with his. I can feel his hardness against my wet center.
“Jesus, Kitten. I can feel your heat through my pants.”
The minute he says it, my mouth lands on his. The second I feel his tongue against mine, I know I’m home.
I’m not sure how slowly I can take this. My dick is ready to explode and we still have our clothes on. Time to remedy that.
“Rachel, raise your arms.”
She does as I tell her, just like always. I’m not saying that to be an asshole. My Franny loved to be dominated in the bedroom. Let’s see how Rachel feels about it.
My hands go to the hem of her dress. Slowly, I lift the material up and over her head. Throwing it across the room, I stare at the beautiful goddess in front of me, in nothing but her lacy panties.
Rachel starts to cover herself with her arms and I know what she’s thinking. She’s way curvier than I remember. Her breasts are fuller, her hips are thicker, and yeah, her belly isn’t flat anymore. But my kitten is fucking perfect.
Never taking my eyes from hers, I hold her arms away from her body. “I want to look at you.”
I take her in, all of her. I can tell she’s uncomfortable so I let her know how I feel. “You are more beautiful than you’ve ever been.”
My hands travel down her shoulders and arms, making their way to her hips. The minute I touch them, she lets out a gasp. I hook my thumbs in her panties, and slowly drag them down her body, breathing her in as I go. “These hips are mine, Kitten. No one else will ever touch them. Do you understand?”
Hidden Hearts: A Mastered Hearts Short Story Page 2