Complete Works of Frances Burney

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by Frances Burney


  The entire silence of Juliet to these interrogatories, gave a moment to the mercer to ask for orders.

  ‘You are in haste, Sir, are you?’ said Mrs Ireton; ‘I have your pardon to beg, too, have I? I am really very unfortunate this morning. However, pray take your things away, Sir, if it’s so immensely troublesome to you to exhibit them. Only be so good as to acquaint your chief, whoever he may be, that you had not time to wait for me to make any purchase.’

  The man offered the humblest apologies, which were all disdained; and self-defending excuses, which were all retorted; he was peremptorily ordered to be gone; with an assurance that he should answer for his disrespect to his master; who, she flattered herself, would give him a lesson of better behaviour, by the loss of his employment.

  Harassed with apprehension of what she had to expect in this new residence, Juliet would silently have followed him.

  ‘Stay, Ma’am, stay!’ cried Mrs Ireton; ‘give me leave to ask one question: — whither are you going, Mrs ... what’s your name?’

  ‘I ... I feared, Madam, that I had come too soon.’

  ‘O, that’s it, is it? I have not paid you sufficient attention, perhaps? — Nay it’s very likely. I did not run up to receive you, I confess. I did not open my arms to embrace you, I own! It was very wrong of me, certainly. But I am apt to forget myself. I want a flapper prodigiously. I know nothing of life, — nothing of manners. Perhaps you will be so good as to become my monitress? ‘Twill be vastly kind of you. And who knows but, in time, you may form me? How happy it will be if you can make something of me!’

  The maid, now, tired of wiping up splash after splash, and rubbing out spot after spot; finding her work always renewed by the mischievous little boy, was sullenly walking to the other end of the room.

  ‘O, you’re departing too, are you?’ said Mrs Ireton; ‘and pray who dismissed you? whose commands have you for going? Inform me, I beg, who it is that is so kind as to take the trouble off my hands, of ordering my servants? I ought at least to make them my humble acknowledgements. There’s nothing so frightful as ingratitude.’

  The maid, not comprehending this irony, grumblingly answered, that she had wiped up the grease and the slops till her arms ached; for the little boy made more dirt and nastiness than the cur himself.

  ‘The boy? — The cur? — What’s all this?’ cried Mrs Ireton; ‘who, and what, is the woman talking of? The boy? Has the boy no name? — The cur? Have you no more respect for your lady’s lap dog? — Grease too? — Nastiness! — you turn me sick! I am ready to faint! What horrible images you present to me! Has nobody any salts? any lavendar-water? How unfortunate it is to have such nerves, such sensations, when one lives with such mere speaking machines!’

  She then cast around her eyes, with a look of silent, but pathetic appeal to the sensibility of all who were within sight, against this unheard of indignity; but her speech was soon restored, from mingled wrath and surprise, upon perceiving her favourite young negro nearly suffocating with stifled laughter, though thrusting both his knuckles into his capacious mouth, to prevent its loud explosion.

  ‘So this amuses you, does it, Sir? You think it very comical? You are so kind as to be entertained, are you? How happy I am to give you so much pleasure! How proud I ought to be to afford you such diversion! I shall make it my business to shew my sense of my good fortune; and, to give you a proof, Sir, of my desire to contribute to your gaiety, to-morrow morning I will have you shipped back to the West Indies. And there, that your joy may be complete, I shall issue orders that you may be striped till you jump, and that you may jump, — you little black imp! — between every stripe!’

  The foolish mirth of poor Mungo was now converted into the fearfulest dismay. He dropt upon his knees to implore forgiveness; but he was peremptorily ordered to depart, with an assurance that he should keep up his fine spirits upon bread and water for a fortnight.

  If disgust, now, was painted upon every feature of the face of Juliet, at this mixture of forced derision with but too natural inhumanity, the feeling which excited that expression was by no means softened, by seeing Mrs Ireton turn next to the timid young orphan, imperiously saying, ‘And you, Ma’am, what may you stand there for, with your hands before you? Have you nothing better to do with them? Can’t you find out some way to make them more useful? or do you hold it more fitting to consider them as only ornamental? They are very pretty, to be sure. I say nothing to the contrary of that. But I should suppose you don’t quite intend to reserve them for mere objects of admiration? You don’t absolutely mean, I presume, to devote them to the painter’s eye? or to destine them to the sculptor’s chisel? I should think not, at least. I should imagine not. I beg you to set me right if I am wrong.’

  The poor little girl, staring, and looking every way around to find some meaning for what she did not comprehend, could only utter a faint ‘Ma’am!’ in a tone of so much fear and distress, that Juliet, unable, silently, to witness oppression so wanton, came forward to say, ‘The poor child, Ma’am, only wishes to understand your commands, that she may obey them.’

  ‘O! they are not clear, I suppose? They are too abstruse, I imagine?’ contemptuously replied Mrs Ireton. ‘And you, who are kind enough to offer yourself for my companion; who think yourself sufficiently accomplished to amuse, — perhaps instruct me, — you, also, have not the wit to find out, what a little chit of an ordinary girl can do better with her hands, than to stand still, pulling her own fingers?’

  Juliet, now, believing that she had discovered what was meant, kindly took the little girl by the arm, and pointed to the just overturned water-bason of the dog.

  ‘But I don’t know where to get a cloth, Ma’am?’ said the child.

  ‘A cloth? — In my wardrobe, to be sure!’ cried Mrs Ireton; ‘amongst my gowns, and caps, and hats. Where else should there be dirty cloths, and dusters, and dish-clouts? Do you know of any other place where they are likely to be found? Why don’t you answer?’

  ‘Ma’am?’

  ‘You never heard, perhaps, of such a place as a kitchen? You don’t know where it is? nor what it means? You have only heard talk of drawing-rooms, dressing-rooms, boudoirs? or, perhaps, sometimes, of a corridor, or a vestibule, or an anti-chamber? But nothing beyond! — A kitchen! — O, fie, fie!’

  Juliet now hurried the little girl away, to demand a cloth of the house maid; but the moment that she returned with it, Mrs Ireton called out, ‘And what would you do, now, Ma’am? Make yourself all dirt and filth, that you may go back to your school, to shew the delicate state of my house? To make your mistress, and all her brats, believe that I live in a pig-stie? Or to spread abroad that I have not servants enough to do my work, and that I seize upon you to supply their place? But I beg your pardon; perhaps that may be your way to shew your gratitude? To manifest your sense of my saving you from the work-house? to reward me for snatching you from beggary, and want, and starving?’

  The poor little girl burst into tears, but courtsied, and quitted the room; while Mrs Ireton called after her, to desire that she would acquaint her governess, that she should certainly be paid the following week.

  Juliet now stood in scarcely less dismay than she had been witnessing all around her; panic-struck to find herself in the power of a person whose character was so wantonly tyrannic and irascible.

  The fortunate entrance of some company enabled her, for the present, to retreat; and to demand, of one of the servants, the way to her chamber.

  CHAPTER LII

  From the heightened disgust which she now conceived against her new patroness, Juliet severely repented the step that she had taken. And if her entrance into the family contributed so little to her contentment, her subsequent introduction into her office was still less calculated to exhilarate her spirits. Her baggage was scarcely deposited in a handsome chamber, of which the hangings, and decorations, as of every part of the mansion, were sumptuous for the spectator; but in which there was a dearth of almost every thing that constitu
tes comfort to the immediate dweller; ere she was summoned back, by a hasty order to the drawing-room.

  Mrs Ireton, who was reading a news-paper, did not, for some time, raise her head; though a glance of her eye procured her the satisfaction of seeing that her call had been obeyed. Juliet, at first, stood modestly waiting for commands; but, receiving none, sat down, though at an humble distance; determined to abide by the consequences, be they what they might, of considering herself as, at least, above a common domestic.

  This action shortened the term of neglect; Mrs Ireton, letting the news-paper fall, exclaimed, in a tone of affected alarm, ‘Are you ill, Ma’am? Are you disordered? I hope you are not subject to fits?’

  Juliet coldly answered No.

  ‘I am very glad to hear it, indeed! Very happy, upon my word! I was afraid you were going to faint away! But I find that you are only delicate; only fatigued by descending the stairs. I ought, indeed, to have sent somebody to help you; somebody you could have leant upon as you came along. I was very stupid not to think of that. I hope you’ll pardon me?’

  Juliet looked down, but kept her place.

  Mrs Ireton, a little nettled, was silent a few minutes, and then said, ‘Pray, — if I may ask, — if it will not be too great a liberty to ask, — what have been your pursuits since I had the honour of accompanying you to London? How have you passed your time? I hope you have found something to amuse you?’

  Juliet sighed a negative.

  ‘You have been studying the fine arts, I am told. Painting? — Drawing? — Sculpture? — or what is it? — Something of that sort, I am informed. Pray what is it, Mrs Thing-a-mi? — I am always forgetting your name. Yet you have certainly a name; but I don’t know how it is, I can never remember it. I believe I must beg you to write it down.’

  Juliet again only sighed.

  ‘Perhaps I am making a mistake as to your occupations? Very likely I may be quite in the wrong? Indeed I think I recollect, now, what it is you have been doing. Acting? — That’s it. Is it not? Pray what stage did you come out upon first? Did you begin wearing your itinerant buskins in England, or abroad?’

  ‘Where I began, Madam, I have ended; at Mrs Maple’s.’

  ‘And pray, have you kept that same face ever since I saw you in Grosvenor Square? or have you put it on again only now, to come back to me? I rather suppose you have made it last the whole time. It would be very expensive, I apprehend, to change it frequently: it can by no means be so costly to keep it only in repair. How do you put on your colours? I have heard of somebody who had learnt the art of enamelling their own skin: is that your method?’

  Waiting vainly for an answer, she went on.

  ‘Pray, if I may presume so far, how old are you? — But I beg pardon for so indiscreet a question. I did not reflect upon what I was saying. Very possibly your age may be indefinable. You may be a person of another century. A wandering Jewess. I never heard that the old Jew had a wife, or a mother, who partook of his longevity; but very likely I may now have the pleasure of seeing one of his family under my own roof? That red and white, that you lay on so happily, may just as well hide the wrinkles of two or three grand climacterics, as of only a poor single sixty or seventy years of age. However, these are secrets that I don’t presume to enquire into. Every trade has its mystery.’

  These splenetic witticisms producing no reply, Mrs Ireton, more categorically, demanded, ‘Pray, Ma’am, pray Mrs What’s-your-name, will you give me leave to ask what brings you to my house?’

  ‘Miss Joddrel, Madam, informed me that you desired my attendance.’

  ‘Yes; but with what view?’

  Disconcerted by this interrogatory, Juliet stammered, but could devise no answer.

  ‘To what end, what purpose, what intent, I say, may I owe the honour of your presence?’

  The office pointed out by Elinor, of an humble companion, now died the cheeks of Juliet with shame; but resentment of the palpable desire to hear its mortifying acknowledgement, tied her tongue; and though each of the following interrogatories was succeeded by a pause that demanded a reply, she could not bring herself to utter a word.

  ‘You are hardly come, I should imagine, without some motive: I may be mistaken, to be sure; but I should hardly imagine you would take the trouble to present yourself merely to afford me the pleasure of seeing you? — Not but that I ought to be extremely flattered by such a compliment. ’Twould be vastly amiable, certainly. A lady of your indescribable consequence! ’Twould be difficult to me to shew an adequate sense of so high an honour. I am distressed at the very thought of it. — But perhaps you may have some other design? — You may have the generosity to intend me some improvement? — You may come to favour me with some lessons of declamation? — Who knows but you may propose to make an actress of me? — Or perhaps to instruct me how to become an adept in your own favourite art of face-daubing?’

  At least, thought Juliet, I need not give you any lessons in the art of ingeniously tormenting! There you are perfect!

  ‘What! no answer yet? — Am I always so unfortunate as to hit upon improper subjects? — To ask questions that merit no reply? — I am quite confounded at my want of judgment! Excuse it, I entreat, and aid me out of this unprofitable labyrinth of conjecture, by telling me, at once, to what happy inspiration I am indebted for the pleasure of receiving you in my house?’

  Juliet pleaded again the directions of Miss Joddrel.

  ‘Miss Joddrel told you to come, then, only to come? — Only to shew yourself? — Well, you are worth looking at, I acknowledge, to those who have seen you formerly. The transformation must always be curious: I only hope you intend to renew it, from time to time, to keep admiration alive? That pretty face you exhibit at present, may lose its charms, if it should become familiar. When shall you put on the other again, that I had the pleasure to see you in first?’

  Fatigued and spiritless, Juliet would have retired; but Mrs Ireton called after her, ‘O! you are going, are you? Pray may I take the liberty to ask whither?’

  Again Juliet was silent.

  ‘You mean perhaps to repose yourself? — or, may be, to pursue your studies? — or, perhaps, you may have some visits upon your hands? — And you may only have done me the favour to enter my house to find time to follow your humour? — You may think it sufficient honour for me, that I may be at the expence of your board, and find you in lodging, and furniture, and fire, and candles, and servants? — you may hold this ample recompense for such an insignificant person as I am? I ought to be much obliged to Miss Joddrel, upon my word, for bringing me into such distinction! I had understood her, indeed, that you would come to me as my humble companion.’

  Juliet, cruelly shocked, turned away her head.

  ‘And I was stupid enough to suppose, that that meant a person who could be of some use, and some agreeability; a person who could read to me when I was tired, and who, when I had nobody else, could talk to me; and find out a thousand little things for me all day long; coming and going; prating, or holding her tongue; doing every thing she was bid; and keeping always at hand.’

  Juliet, colouring at this true, however insulting description of what she had undertaken, secretly revolved in her mind, how to renounce, at once, an office which seemed to invite mortification, and license sarcasm.

  ‘But I perceive I was mistaken! I perceive I knew nothing of the matter! It only means a fine lady! a lady that’s so delicate it fatigues her to walk down stairs; a lady who is so independent, that she retires to her room at pleasure; a lady who disdains to speak but when she is disposed, for her own satisfaction, to talk; a lady—’

  ‘A lady who, indeed, Madam,’ said the tired Juliet, ‘weighed too little what she attempted, when she hoped to find means of obtaining your favour; but who now sees her errour, and entreats at once your pardon and dismission.’

  She then courtsied respectfully, but, though called back even with vehemence, steadily left the room.

  Not, however, with triumph did she retur
n to her own. The justice of the sensibility which urged her retreat, could not obviate its imprudence, or avert its consequences. She was wholly without friends, without money, without protection, without succour; and the horrour of a licentious pursuit, and the mischiefs menaced by calumniating ill wishers, still made a lonely residence as unsafe as when her first terrour drove her to acquiesce in the proposition of Elinor. Yet, though she could not exult, she could not repent: how desire, how even support a situation so sordid? a situation not only distressing, but oppressive; not merely cruel, but degrading.

  She was preparing, therefore, for immediate departure, when she was stopt by a footman, who informed her that Mrs Ireton demanded to see her without delay.

  The expectation of reproach made her hesitate whether to obey this order; but a desire not to have the air of meriting it, by the defiance of a refusal, led her again to the dressing-room.

  Here, however, to her great surprise, instead of the haughty or taunting upbraidings for which she was prepared, she was received with a gracious inclination of the head; while the footman was told to give her a chair.

  Mrs Ireton, then, fixing her eyes upon a pamphlet which she held in her hand; that she might avoid taking any notice of the stiff and decided air with which Juliet stood still, though amazed, said, ‘My bookseller has just sent me something to look at, which may serve for a beginning of our readings.’

  Juliet now saw, that, however imperiously she had been treated, Mrs Ireton had no intention to part with her. She saw, too, that that lady was amongst the many, though terrible characters, who think superior rank or fortune authorises perverseness, and legitimates arrogance; who hold the display of ill humour to be the display and mark of power; and who set no other boundary to their pleasure in the art of tormenting, than that which, if passed, might endanger their losing its object. She wished, more than ever, to avoid all connexion with a nature so wilfully tyrannic; but Mrs Ireton, who read in her dignified demeanour, that a spirit was awakened which threatened the escape of her prey, determined to shun any discussion. Suddenly, therefore, rising, and violently ringing the bell, she exclaimed, ‘I dare say those fools have not placed half the things you want in your chamber; but I shall make Whitly see immediately that all is arranged as it ought to be.’

 

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