by James Carol
Before Larry could jump on this, she put her hand up, stopping him in his tracks just as effectively as Moe had done earlier. ‘I’m not claiming that he actually did this, but that’s what he was aiming for. That said, what I do know is that Alice makes Alexa look like a Neanderthal.’
Moe made a big deal of looking at his watch. He smiled. ‘Your thirty seconds are well and truly over, Ms Fisher. Time to wrap this up.’
Catriona returned the smile, even though it was the last thing she felt like doing. ‘What I’m offering here is a high-end bespoke service. I’ll design the house that you’ve always dreamed of, and Professor Murray will provide a computer system that is uniquely tailored to meet your needs. Seventeen Church Row gives just a glimpse of what is possible.’
‘But to take this to the next level you need money?’ Moe said.
Catriona nodded.
‘What’s the bottom line?’
‘Ten million.’
‘And what do we get for that?’
‘You’ll get a 20 per cent stake in my company.’ She was prepared to go to 30 per cent, but no higher. This was her company, after all. She had built it up from nothing. The thought of giving away even 1 per cent killed her, but she was desperate for money, and desperate people did desperate things.
‘We’ll be in touch,’ Moe said.
She wasn’t ready for the meeting to end. She wanted to keep going until they believed like she did. She wanted to tell them about all the amazing things she had planned; all the amazing buildings she was going to design. She wanted them to understand that it was through doing great work like this that you put your mark on the future. It wouldn’t do any good, though. The three men on the other side of the table weren’t interested in the amazing, all they cared about was money. That was their bottom line. She packed her laptop back into its case, conscious that her every move was being scrutinised. It took all her willpower not to stare back.
Catriona left the conference room and made her way back to the elevator. She watched the numbers change as it descended, counting off the floors and just wanting to get the hell out. The call came ten minutes later as she was walking across Southwark Bridge. Thanks but no thanks. This wasn’t what she needed or wanted to hear, but it was what she had expected. She hung up and let out a grunt of frustration that was loud enough to make the man in front turn around.
‘What the fuck are you staring at?’
The man quickly turned away and picked up his pace, anxious to put some distance between them. Catriona stopped walking and stared along the length of the river. Tower Bridge dominated the view but she barely saw it.
Her finger moved across the phone screen, prodding and sliding without her really being aware of what she was doing. A second later she was looking at Nikki sitting in the kitchen, staring into space and lost in a world of her own. Her cheeks were shining, as though she had been crying. Catriona changed to a different camera. No, not staring into space, she was looking at something on the kitchen monitor. The phone screen was small, the monitor screen even smaller, so it took a moment to work out that she was watching Bella.
Maybe seeing Bella was making her miss Grace again. That one had to be tough, particularly given that they had been twins. Every time she looked at her she must see Grace. The question Catriona was asking herself yet again was what would a mother sacrifice for her child? In Catriona’s case, the answer was nothing. Her own mother had left to start a new life with her new man. She had even had another daughter – a half-sister that Catriona had never met. Had she been a reminder of the daughter she had left behind? If it had, she had never come looking for her. There hadn’t even been a single birthday or Christmas card.
But Nikki wasn’t like her mother. Watching her with Bella it was clear that she would do anything for her.
Anything.
Laura Santos came into the shot and Catriona turned up the volume so she could hear what they were saying. As she listened, she was already thinking about her next move. If Plan A fails, you go on to Plan B. That’s how you keep moving forward. Catriona tapped the screen of her phone, navigating to the contacts list. She found the number she wanted, connected the call, put it on speaker, then switched back to the screen in time to see Laura reaching for her phone and walking out of the kitchen. Catriona’s phone rang another couple of times before being answered. She switched the speaker off and pressed it against her ear.
‘Do it,’ she said.
Chapter 37
The tears were still wet on Nikki’s cheeks when Laura Santos finally appeared in the kitchen. Tears of sadness, tears of grief. Tears of anger. Because of the language barrier it had taken a while to get the whole story out of Luciana. In the end, it had been a depressingly straightforward one: the hospital had screwed up and as a result Sofia was dead. Laura walked over to the island, pulled out a stool and sat down. She took Nikki’s hand in her own. The look she gave her was part concern, part professional curiosity.
‘What happened?’ she asked gently.
‘I’ve just had a call from Sofia’s sister. She’s had the post-mortem results. The hospital made a mistake and gave Sofia the wrong medication. That was what caused her heart attack.’
The concern and curiosity on Laura’s face gave way to a frown. ‘How could that happen?’
Nikki shrugged. ‘That’s the question I’ve been asking myself. Of course, at this stage nobody’s admitting liability. They need to carry out an investigation. The hospital has to be at fault, though. I mean, it wasn’t as if Sofia did this to herself.’
‘Surely there are checks in place to stop this sort of thing from happening? I mean, isn’t that all done by computer these days?’
‘Probably. But someone still needs to type the prescription in. I bet that’s what happened. The NHS is stretched to the limit. Everyone’s overworked. Mistakes are being made all the time.’ Nikki stopped talking and shook her head. ‘Luciana is talking about suing the hospital and I hope she does. I hope she takes them for every penny she can get.’
Laura waited for Nikki to meet her eye and said, ‘It’s good to be angry but be careful that it doesn’t swallow you up.’
‘I’m not just angry, I’m furious. It’s not fair.’ She snorted derisively. ‘Fair. What the hell is fair anyway?’
Laura didn’t respond. She was studying Nikki closely.
‘I’m sorry,’ Nikki said quickly. ‘I don’t know where that came from.’
‘Actually, I think you know exactly where it came from.’
Nikki said nothing. She could feel her cheeks burning hot from the shame of being read so easily.
‘Look, I know I’m here to see Bella, but if you want to talk, well, I’m a pretty good listener.’
Laura was watching her closely again, waiting for a response. Nikki almost told her she was okay, but like ‘fair’ it was another one of those words that had lost all meaning. ‘I wish we had never moved here. If we’d still been living at the old house then Sofia would still be alive.’ The words were spoken quietly, like a confession.
‘None of us knows what the future holds, Nikki. You know that better than anyone.’
Nikki opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. She shut it again, then said, ‘You know, there was a part of me that didn’t want to move because I didn’t want to leave Grace behind?’ She shook her head. ‘I know, crazy, right?’
‘No, it’s perfectly understandable. Through my work I’ve met a lot of parents, and the one thing they all share is that they would give anything to rewind the clock. The reason they’re holding on to the past so tightly is because that’s where their child is. However, they inevitably end up bound so tightly to the past it becomes impossible to move on.’ Laura smiled reassuringly. ‘But you are moving on, Nikki.’
‘Am I?’
Laura nodded. ‘Yes, you are. Buying this house is the first step in that process.’
‘Okay, if that’s true then why has everything turned to shit since I got here?’
‘A house move is a big change. It’s one of the most stressful things that a person can go through. It’s up there with divorce and bereavement. You’re struggling to come to terms with change, that’s all.’ A pause, another reassuring smile. ‘Cut yourself a little slack. What you’ve done here is a very brave thing.’
Nikki shook her head emphatically. ‘No, everything has turned to shit.’
‘You’re slipping into all-or-nothing thinking. It’s not really everything that’s turned to shit, is it?’
‘Okay, maybe not everything, but look at what happened to Sofia.’
‘We’ve already talked about that. Sofia’s death had nothing to do with you. The hospital made a mistake with her medication. You were not responsible.’
Nikki said nothing.
‘Look, I’ve got news for you, Nikki, you don’t control the entire universe. Nobody does. As human beings we want to believe that there’s a reason for everything, but that’s not the way it works. Sometimes crappy things just happen.’
‘Sofia’s dead. That goes beyond crappy.’ Grace is dead as well, she almost pointed out.
‘Please don’t think I’m making light of Sofia’s death, because I can assure you that I’m not.’ Laura stopped speaking and waited for Nikki to look at her. ‘There’s a part of you that wants to stay in the past with Grace. That’s totally understandable. If you allow it to, then something like this will give you all the excuses you need to do that. If you allow it. Even though it might not feel that it has, you’ve come so far, Nikki. Don’t let this drag you back down.’
‘Other things have happened.’ Nikki had broken eye contact and her gaze was fixed on the top of the work island.
‘Such as?’
For what seemed like the longest time Nikki couldn’t speak. She had blurted that out without thinking, the words running away from her before she had a chance to reel them back in.
‘What else has happened?’ Laura pressed gently.
Nikki glanced at the kitchen monitor. Bella was gone and the Picasso was back. The urge to see Bella was so strong she came within a heartbeat of just getting up and walking away. She needed to make sure Bella was safe; needed to make sure she was all right. That’s what she told herself, but the real reason she wanted to escape was because this situation made her uncomfortable. The feeling was one she remembered only too well from her therapy sessions. The thing was, however uncomfortable it had been at the time, those were the sessions that benefited her the most. That was why she had stayed then, and that was why she was staying with this now.
Laura was watching her closely, smiling that reassuring smile. Waiting. Nikki took a deep breath and started talking. She began with the telephone call to the hospital where she had been assured that Sofia was okay, the call that she had – supposedly – never made. Next she told her about the episode in the gym. In some ways that one was the hardest to talk about because it was as though she was back there again, the darkness devouring her like a monster from a nightmare. She finished by telling Laura about the dreams of Grace that had been keeping her awake at night. She stopped talking and met Laura’s eye. This was the first time she had done this since she started her monologue. For the last five minutes her attention had been focussed on her hands, which were on the surface of the work island, fingers tapping and touching each other as though they had a life of their own. It was easier to talk to them than to Laura. This was something else she remembered from her therapy sessions.
‘So am I going crazy?’ she asked.
Laura laughed. ‘I can assure you that you’re not.’
‘Easy for you to say, but sane people don’t have hallucinations where they make phone calls that didn’t actually happen.’
‘You weren’t hallucinating, Nikki. The call showed up in your phone log, right?’
Nikki nodded.
‘That means you made the call. Like you pointed out earlier, the health service is stretched to the limit. How easy would it be for someone to make a mistake? And we know they make mistakes. Let’s face it, giving an inaccurate patient update doesn’t even come close to administering the wrong medication.’
‘I suppose . . .’
‘As for the incident in the gym, most people put in that situation would have been terrified. A fear of the dark is one of the most common phobias. Does being scared of something mean you’re crazy? No, it doesn’t. If that was the case then we’d all be classed as crazy, every last one of us. And let’s not forget that the lights went out because of a faulty pool pump. In other words, it was just one of those annoying things that life sends to test us.’
‘What about the TV coming on in the middle of the night? Alice is adamant that that didn’t happen.’
‘Maybe that one was down to your imagination.’
‘So I might be going crazy?’
‘No, not crazy, you just had a nightmare. That’s all. Granted it was pretty terrifying, but at the end of the day it was just a bad dream. We’ve all had them.’ A pause, a reassuring smile. ‘You’re currently under a lot of stress, Nikki, no question about that, but you’re definitely not crazy. And before you ask, yes, that’s my professional assessment.’ She stopped talking and the smile slid away. ‘Seriously, though, if you want to talk properly then we can arrange a session.’
‘I’ve actually been trying to get in touch with my therapist.’
‘Trying?’
‘She texted to say that she’s on holiday and will call when she gets back next week to arrange some sessions.’
‘Good. Well, not good that she’s on holiday, but good that you’re reaching out to someone. You don’t have to go through this alone, Nikki.’
‘I know that. By the way, how did you get on with Bella?’ The question almost got lodged in Nikki’s throat. She knew exactly how Laura had got on because she’d watched the whole thing. The question was an expected one, though, so she had to ask.
‘Good. She’s started to open up a little, which I really wasn’t expecting so soon.’
‘Are you planning on doing another session tomorrow?
‘I am. I’d like to try something a little different, though. I’ve found it useful to take some time just to observe my patients. Would you have a problem with me filming Bella?’
‘Not if you think it will help.’
‘I do. I’ll use a nanny cam. It’s important that she doesn’t know she’s being watched. I want to see her acting as naturally as possible.’
Nikki glanced over at the Picasso on the kitchen monitor, a slow swirl of guilt turning circles in her gut. ‘You don’t have to use a nanny cam. This house has cameras in every room.’
‘Including Bella’s bedroom?’
Nikki nodded, then called out, ‘Alice, can you switch on the camera in Bella’s bedroom, please?’
The Picasso disappeared from the kitchen screen, replaced with the feed from the camera in Bella’s room. Bella was lying belly down on her bed, legs kicking up in the air as she played a game on her tablet. Laura glanced at the screen, then looked back at Nikki.
‘This is perfect. Are you keeping her off school again tomorrow?’
‘I wasn’t going to but if that’s going to work best for you, then I can do that. I’ll ring them later and let them know.’
‘In that case I’ll clear my calendar for tomorrow morning. That way I can spend a couple of hours observing her.’
Before Nikki could say anything else a mobile went off, startling them both. Nikki was already reaching for hers before she realised that this wasn’t her ringtone. Laura fished her phone from her bag. She glanced at the screen and made an apologetic face.
‘I’m sorry, I need to take this.’
Nikki watched Laura walk out of the kitchen then turned her attention back to the monitor. Bella had moved over to her desk and was drawing a picture on her tablet.
‘Alice, can I see what she’s drawing?’
The screen changed to show the feed from the drawing progra
m. Bella had drawn two figures, one big, one small. Both were female and they were holding hands. She moved the plastic stylus over the pad and a new part of the drawing appeared. Another movement and another part of the picture appeared. Another movement, only this time instead of adding something, the arm disappeared from the smaller of the two figures.
To start with Nikki had assumed this was a picture of her and Bella. It was only when the second arm disappeared, quickly followed by the legs, that she realised that the big figure was Bella and the smaller one was Grace. They were both dressed the same, but the smaller figure had long hair, which the girls had when they were small. The larger figure had shoulder-length hair like Bella’s was now.
Nikki watched with a heavy heart as Grace was slowly erased from their lives once again. She was so absorbed by what was happening on the screen that she was only vaguely aware of Laura walking up behind her. Nikki turned around on her stool, tearing her eyes from the screen. Before she could say anything, Laura raised her right hand. Nikki could see she was clutching something but couldn’t work out what. By the time she did, it was too late. Laura jammed the syringe into her neck and took a quick step backwards. Nikki started to get up but her body no longer seemed to be working. Her legs gave way and Laura stepped forward to catch her. Nikki tried to push her away but her arms had no strength in them. It was as if the air around her had turned to sand. Everything was too much effort. The last thing Nikki remembered was Laura laying her gently on the floor, then the darkness descended to consume her.
Chapter 38
We exist in a world of technological miracles. Closed-circuit cameras record our every move while satellites buzz high above our heads like vultures, watching, waiting, prying. The Internet holds the information of a hundred thousand libraries and our lives are represented by ones and zeroes on computer systems the world over. Technology is rampant.