by Kim Koby
When he couldn’t locate him, he asked one of the stable workers about where he might be. The worker pointed toward the house, so Ben turned his attention there.
Ben walked up to the front door of the farm house and rang the bell. Mrs. Anderson answered the door, but this time she pulled her arms tightly around herself on seeing him. “You’re back?”
“Is your husband around? I wanted to ask—”
She cut in apologetically. “I’m sorry. He’s asked me not to speak with you. I’ll need you to leave the property and not return.”
“What happened?” Ben noted the air of sympathy in her voice. She wasn’t trying to be rude, but her husband obviously drew a line in the sand and she was told not to cross it.
“It’s better that you leave.” She started to close the door.
“Please, Mrs. Anderson. What do you know? Abby’s father died in that fire. Doesn’t she deserve to know what happened?”
She said nothing. “I can’t talk to you.”
Ben stood strong as she closed the door. Her demeanor had changed completely since they’d left. What were they hiding? What didn’t they want found out? Maybe it was time to go to the police after all. It’s not like they’d get much more information. And yet, what exactly would he report? They found a structure on somebody’s personal property? Ben sighed and rubbed the back of his neck annoyed at the way things were going—exactly nowhere.
He walked back down the long drive to his truck. The urge to go across the street and explore again called to him. Should he take another look before heading out? He’d be trespassing, since they’d asked him to leave. With every ounce of his mind and body wanting to cross the street, it took everything inside of him and all his will power to get in his truck instead. It was time to go home.
Chapter Eight
Abby pulled her laptop computer from the coffee table and propped it on her lap. If the cavern was an underground cellar for potatoes or something, Mr. Anderson wouldn’t have been uncomfortable to say so. What purpose could there be?
She searched the web, looking for reasons an underground tunnel and cavern would be useful. Other than the obvious survivalist stuff or being weather related, not much made sense. And if it was a bunker, why were there only shelves and no place for chairs or bedding? Ben said the walls were lined with metal shelving, but nothing else. Without electricity, they’d have needed flashlights or candles. The tunnel had collapsed, and the fire was over at the barn, a good thirty plus feet away.
It’s not like it was a wine cellar. Could the Andersons be involved in moonshining? Okay, probably not. Not that she truly knew how to make the stuff, but she’d been watching a show on television about it. What else? Why would somebody dig a tunnel and cavern? It’s not like it was for human trafficking or drugs. It only went a few feet away on the property from a barn. That wouldn’t make sense. She continued searching for ideas, but nothing felt right.
It wasn’t a springhouse since there was no water. No matter what she tossed around, the most logical answer was a root cellar, and yet it didn’t explain why Mr. Anderson refused to discuss it.
Shadow climbed up onto the sofa beside her. Abby reached over and stroked Shadow’s soft, velvety ears. “Do you want to go for a walk?”
Shadow’s head tilted. His tail wagged.
“Yeah, I can use the break, too. How about we head over to Cliff Walk? Or we could do the dog park? What do you think?”
Shadow’s tail swished in response.
Cliff Walk was a trail heavily used by runners, walkers, and cyclists. It ran a span of five miles from Redwood Cove to a scenic vista. The trail was one of Abby’s favorite places to walk. She loved looking out at the Pacific Ocean. The path was the perfect way to spend time clearing her head.
Speaking of clearing her head, it seemed that only two things were in it currently, but she only wanted to clear one of those things from her mind. If she could shake the day’s events at the farm out of her mind, maybe she’d find answers more clearly.
The other thing, well, she was quite content letting him linger in her thoughts. Ben. He was an interesting man. He looked like a bashful puppy when he’d admitted he’d recently been suspended at work. Though, who wouldn’t appreciate an enthusiastic hero coming to rescue you in a fire? In the end, it sounded like things worked out. Shame he had to be penalized for his actions, but there were safety precautions in place for a reason. Either way, she thought of him as a hero.
The other thing was how he didn’t make her feel like any less of a person for admitting her issues. It was bad enough having a panic attack in front of him. These days when you even mention mental health issues, people pasted on a frozen smile and backed away. He didn’t seem the least bit bothered. There was comfort in knowing he wasn’t judging her, or at least it didn’t seem like he was.
And talk about a coincidence. He’d been through something scary and traumatic himself. She knew what it was like to look into the barrel of a gun. Abby closed her eyes, centered herself, and reached out for Shadow.
When Ben reached out for her hand at the restaurant, she was surprised, but it was nice. He genuinely seemed interested. She hadn’t thought about dating in a while, but there was something about Ben that drew her in. She hoped to spend more time with him.
Still, in reality there was no way things would progress. It was a nice thought, but that’s all it was—a thought. She was deluding herself to believe something could grow between them. She was too frightened to open herself that way. As much as she could dream, it didn’t change the fact that when it came to men, there was no point in trying.
She leaned her head back and stared at the ceiling. “I could try.”
Shadow nudged her arm.
“I should try,” she corrected. “Living in fear doesn’t get me any closer to happiness. Okay, so maybe I’m a little bit lonely, but I have you.”
Shadow tucked his nose under her hand, encouraging Abby to pet him.
She chuckled. “You’re clever. I feel like every single time I take step forward, I end up taking two steps back. Things won’t change if I don’t try to change them.”
She knew Shadow wouldn’t answer, but sometimes just saying things aloud helped her work through jumbled up feelings.
She launched herself off the sofa, carefully placed her laptop on the coffee table, then went to get Shadow’s vest and leash. “Are you ready?”
Shadow yipped and sauntered over.
When they arrived, the parking area was mostly empty. On the weekends, it could get pretty crowded, but thankfully she had the path mostly to herself. Together, they followed the trail for a little over a mile, then turned to head back. Two miles was a good stretch.
As she rounded one section, she almost ran into somebody coming the other way. Shadow barked to alert her. Lost in thought, she shook her head to loosen the marbles. “Ben?!”
He laughed and seemed pleasantly surprised. “What are you doing here?”
“I thought Shadow could use a break, along with me. He likes the trail. And you?”
“I wanted to clear my head. I come out here and run sometimes, but I guess I was looking for more of a leisurely stroll today.” He slipped his hands in his pockets as he spoke.
She noticed that he wore a big smile. It was genuine. Her own cheeks hurt from the smile on her face. The way he looked into her eyes made her knees buckle. Abby forced herself not to stare.
“Are you heading back?” he asked.
“We were, but if you want company…” Was that too forward? She backed off quickly.
“I’d love company,” he answered, stopping the thought in its tracks. “Especially if it’s you.”
Abby grinned, then shyly looked away. She could feel the blood rush to her cheeks. She was certain she was all shades of rose, pink, or red by this point.
“Hi Shadow,” he said. “Are you enjoying your walk?”
Shadow wagged his tail and waited patiently for them to go one way or the o
ther.
Finally, they turned around. The three of them walked down the trail together. Ben’s hand gently brushed against Abby’s. When she didn’t pull away, he slipped his in hers, and waited for her reaction. Again, she didn’t flinch. He tangled his fingers in hers and quietly continued down the path.
Abby’s heart sang. Feeling him against her sent a wave of tingles through her body. His hand was warm, and his arm close. And boy, oh boy, he sure took good care of himself. Was it wrong to notice? Either way, she’d happily hold his hand all day long.
Chapter Nine
Ben was surprised to bump into Abby. Shadow even let him hold Abby’s hand and walked on her other side. Her fragile, slender fingers wound neatly in his.
Since their first meeting, she’d been on his mind more and more. They hadn’t even known each other more than a day or two, but already she lingered in his thoughts. When she left the Anderson property, he’d been frustrated. He thought maybe a walk would help clear his mind. How could he help her find more information about her father? He wanted to be her hero.
When they’d been at the restaurant, he was smitten. As he stared across the table and looked into her eyes, he melted a little. She was soft and feminine and had a certain vulnerability about her. Of course, now that he’d heard what happened in the past, he understood a bit more. He didn’t want to press for details. She’d said enough for him to grasp the event was traumatic enough to stay with her.
It still left him wanting to wrap her up in his arms and keep her safe, almost an instinct in him now. How he’d wished for that kind of strength previously.
Ben considered asking her on a date but thought maybe it best to wait a little longer. Besides, he wasn’t sure what the right type of date would be. There was always the Dorma Valley Winery and Vineyard. Another fun thing could be whale watching, but he wasn’t sure how Shadow would do on a boat. Oh, maybe they could go to the Pacific Coast Adventures place. They had an arcade, go-karts, and ziplines. Though, go-karts and ziplines might not be the best choice since Shadow would be with them.
Movies? Dinner out? Stargazing? He’d think on it.
The afternoon sun felt nice on his face, and the constant lull of ocean waves made for a comforting backdrop. After their walk, Ben stood by her side while she helped Shadow into the back of her car. “I hope this isn’t too forward, but can I see you again?”
She glanced up at him after closing the hatch. “I’d like that.”
Relieved, Ben added, “I’m going to try to think of what else we can learn about the barn fire, but I’m not sure where the tunnel part will lead. I wish I could get more information, but Mr. Anderson isn’t going to talk.”
“Don’t press. I don’t want you to get into trouble,” she warned.
“I guess what I meant when I asked if I could see you again was a date. I wanted to specify. Would you prefer to keep things strictly business, like investigating?”
“I’m not very good at dates, but I’d like to try.” He could practically feel the awkwardness coming off of her as she fidgeted.
Ben lifted her hand to his lips and gave her a small, tender peck on the back of it. “I look forward to seeing you soon. Drive safely. Why don’t I call you later? We can figure out a good time to get together.”
“Okay.” She couldn’t hide the dimple that cut into her cheek.
He loved that smile.
She nodded, then got into her car. He waited for her to pull away before leaving himself.
Once he got home, he sat and did some research. First, he wanted to learn as much as he could about PTSD. Even though he knew the basics, he figured it couldn’t hurt to understand the different aspects of it. He didn’t want to cause Abby any undue stress because of ignorance. He’d get to the tunnel research later.
He’d always thought of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in terms of soldiers. It didn’t cross his mind that there were so many other ways that it could have touched people’s lives. Maybe it was because of the media sharing stories of soldiers returning home from war, where daily episodes of people with mental health issues were generally swept under the carpet. Without a soldier attached to the story, it became about an uncomfortable person that many wouldn’t sympathize with. He wasn’t sure, but it brought the condition forefront in his mind.
Would it be insensitive to ask her about coping techniques, like what worked for her and what didn’t? Shadow was obviously a big help, and she had medication, but what else made a difference in her day to day life? He wondered about the assault she spoke of. What exactly happened? Whatever it was, it left a big impact.
His shoulders drooped. He wished he could go back in time and take away her pain. If he’d been there, maybe things would have been different. He could have protected her. She needed a hero. He could be one today, but she needed one long ago.
He wondered if she still went to therapy. It sounded like that’s where she started before she’d gotten Shadow.
In the past, he’d done a little bit of counseling, but mostly he shut down when he talked about his own experience. He was embarrassed by the way he reacted, even if everybody told him it was a natural response. Fight or flight, you don’t get to pick or choose when you’re in the moment. If he could do it over again…would he respond differently?
Though now, with his current suspension, he was expected to talk with somebody. He knew he couldn’t put it off forever, but he wasn’t quite ready yet.
Abby was right. A lot of people reacted on hearing the words “mental health issues.” It was like a dirty secret that people whispered. Something’s wrong with them. They are mental… He sighed. How many times had he loosely used a phrase not even thinking of the implications? With a new awareness, Ben fidgeted, uncomfortable with his own use of terminology he’d gotten casual with.
He’s crazy. She’s moody; she must be bipolar. Don’t go all OCD on me now. He’s disturbed, mental, mad. She’s got a screw loose. Loony. Schizo. Nuts. They need to be in a padded room. Lock him up and throw away the key; there’s no fixing crazy.
Ben’s stomach twisted. It was never said to be hurtful, but they were expressions everybody said playfully. Right? Except for those who suffered with the disorders—for them, it was no joking matter. It was time to make a change. Time to address things as they were and not in a derogatory manner, joking like it wasn’t a big deal. It was a big deal. He couldn’t imagine somebody saying something so crass to Abby…and for the first time his eyes were wide open.
Ashamed by his past ignorance, he said a quick prayer, and hoped that it wasn’t too late to change his ways. It stung to recognize the way he’d used that very terminology.
After digging through his first round of research, he moved onto excavation and tunnel research. Everything he read was either too grand and not realistic, or about storing things like rutabagas.
Why was the cavern and tunnel there in the first place? Was it for workers to slip in and out of view? Were the farmhands working illegally without proper paperwork? Could it be a safety factor, put them out of view if immigration officials came by? Was there something going on, like steroids and Lasix for their race horses or other drugs that shouldn’t be there?
Ben dug into horse drug research to see if anything sounded like a possibility. He was lost as to what other purposes the tunnel would be used for. There was Bute and other drugs like Etorphine, but none was something they’d have to hide. It couldn’t be for that. They were legal, just dosed in large amounts and at times that would prove beneficial for racing.
It wasn’t the cavern that bothered him as much as the tunnel. The tunnel was a path dug out for easy access, but why? If they simply needed outdoor storage like a root cellar, there would be no need to climb down a ladder, follow a tunnel…and the work involved to create it. It wouldn’t be worth it for a little bit of convenience. Even in the rain. They needed that tunnel, but for what reason?
Chapter Ten
Abby dialed her mother’s number and waite
d.
“Hello?” her mother answered.
“Hi, Mom. It’s me. I’m just checking in. How are you?” she asked.
“I’m good. What have you been up to?”
Abby debated telling her mother about her project, but she already knew what she’d say. Instead, she focused on meeting somebody. At least her mother would be happy for her. She always complained that Abby stayed home too often and had forgotten about her friends. “I got asked on a date today.”
Her mother perked up. “Really? That’s wonderful, Abs. Tell me more.”
It was nice to hear her mother’s positive response. She was usually a bucket of negativity. “I said yes.”
“Oh, I’m so glad. You don’t go out enough. I hate how you isolate yourself so much.”
Abby nibbled at her bottom lip. “I’m trying to get out more. Anyway, I bumped into him when I was…anyway, he’s a fireman.”
“A hero!” she gushed.
“Yeah, I guess. It’s an honorable profession. He’s really handsome and nice.”
“Tell me more about him,” she said.
The conversation volleyed back and forth until Abby finally found the courage to tell her mother the real reason she was calling. “So, Mom…I was doing some digging about the barn fire and Dad—”
Her mother groaned. “Abby, must we do this?”
“It’s just that…no. Never mind. It’s fine. Another day.” Abby sighed. Her mother refused to discuss it anytime she brought the topic up. She hoped one of these days she’d offer her a nugget of information, something to grab onto, anything that might help her figure out another detail in the case.
“Ian is coming by for dinner later this week. Why don’t you join him? It’s been a while since I’ve had both of you here at the same time.”
“Sure, Mom. Let me know when, and I’ll try to make it.” She wouldn’t. Not this week. Her mother would only bring her down. She was like an energy vampire. She wanted to settle in and enjoy the new excitement of her time with Ben.