How To Be Fucking Awesome
Page 1
Contents
Title Page
Disclaimer
INTRODUCTION
BE SELFISH
BE SHAMELESS (YOU’RE A LONG TIME DEAD)
BE WEIRD (BUT NOT TOO FUCKING WEIRD)
BE BRUTALLY HONEST
BE VALUABLE
BE INTERESTING
BE SPITEFUL (PROVE ’EM WRONG)
BE PRODUCTIVE
BE AROUND LIKEMINDED PEOPLE
BE RELENTLESS
BE NICE
THE END
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
MY GIFT TO YOU
Copyright
DISCLAIMER
Right, before you turn a single page I want to give you a bit of a heads up.
This book is a little… er, different.
I have written this in a conversational, easy to read, don’t-waste-your-time format. There may be an emoticon or two.
I start more than one sentence with ‘and’.
Swearing? In real life I swear – so I also swear in this book.
So if any of the above offends you, this book may not be for you and that’s totally OK! There are thousands of books out there that will likely be perfect for you, and I’m always happy to recommend.
On final thing: I give some more ‘woo-woo’ thinking and concepts a little bit of a bashing – but I have lots of friends in this world, and I love them dearly. They tolerate my beliefs, and me, and the same goes for me towards them. Just because we disagree on things doesn’t mean we don’t get along. Because we do.
And if that stuff works for you? Awesome. I’m just sharing what I know, from my experience, in an effort to help folks who maybe need something a little more ‘tenacious’ – a combination of a kick up the arse and an arm around the shoulder.
Heads up given.
You have been politely warned.
So, I guess the last thing for me to say is read this book with an open mind. I hope you find it entertaining, and you are welcome to drop me an email on dan@coffeewithdan.com if that tickles your fancy.
Good luck!
INTRODUCTION
WHY THIS BOOK?
So you’re probably thinking, what the hell is this book all about? To be honest I’d be wondering the same thing if I was you.
But if I told you that this book had the potential to change your life, then would you pay attention?
Of course you would.
Actually, seeing as we’re already thinking and wondering about things…
Have you ever thought why some people have such an awesome life, plenty of money, amazing friends and a business they love? Yet others struggle at every step, are constantly broke and can never get out of the daily rut.
I pondered the exact same thing a couple of years ago.
I desperately wanted to get in on the ‘secret of success’. I wanted to know how some people could be resilient and optimistic no matter what life threw at them, emerging ever stronger, ever fulfilled, and ever successful. While others, regardless of their talents and ‘lucky as fuck’ life, remained negative, bitter, and unsuccessful human beings.
And I started looking for answers.
I became an Amazon 1-click whore-bag, buying book after book in my early thirties, trying to better myself, find the ‘answers’ or simply give myself the kick up the arse that I needed to get my shit into action.
This book is a result of three years of quite ridiculous adventure into the world of entrepreneurism, and many, many years before that wanting to do it, but never having the balls to actually step up and give it a go.
This book, in my humble opinion, is the essence of the ‘answers’ I found from not only reading but also implementing the knowledge. It answers the most important question that I had at the time, and now you reading this book probably have:
‘Is it really possible to be fucking awesome, live life on your own terms, make a difference and be truly fulfilled, all the while having fuck loads of F.U.N?’
Yep.
I’ll show you how, in this book. Here, I’ve outlined eleven key ‘things’ that I have found from analysing my own life, and spending one-on-one time with some of the most successful people on the planet, which (I hope) will allow you to do just that. Live an epic life.
As of writing, I seem to have tens of thousands of people all round the world who like – and trust me, this weirds the fuck out of me – seem to want to know how I do what I do.
Honestly, I’m just a daft, hairy plum of a human who has somehow gone and got himself all successful.
And if you’ve seen what I look like, you have no excuses…
WHY YOU? WHY ME?
That’s a good question. You, dear reader – I have no idea who you are, what your situation is, what makes you happy, what turns you on or simply makes you so incandescent with rage that you want to head-butt a wall (or maybe that’s just me). Don’t worry, though, we are coming to you in just a moment…
Anyway, I digress.
I wrote this book for me first and foremost. It’s the one thing I wish I could go back in time and give to the younger Dan to tell him to stop waiting for things to happen and simply go out there and bloody make them happen.
If I handed this book to him, he probably wouldn’t have a clue what he was doing with it. But one thing I have learned, as you will see, is that pretty much nobody does – and when you know that, it’s rather liberating.
Look, we have all read those rags-to-riches books where one minute someone is living in a field, selling toenails to make ends meet, and the next they have 100 squillion (yes, that’s a made up word) pounds and a golden space yacht.
Whatever.
To those people: more power to you!
However, I grew up in the West Country of the UK – lovely place to be a young chap, but everything is pretty relaxed. When I was growing up, you didn’t need much to live – compared to cities anyway. You could get a normal job and have a pretty good normal life.
(If that is what you want, by the way, then this book may not be for you – just a heads up.)
My mum and dad both worked their arses off. I never wanted for anything, but money was tight – and I didn’t realise the sacrifices they had made to provide for me and my sister until I was older.
Now, my sister Anna wasn’t blessed with the good fortune of full health like I was. She was born with Epilepsy and, unfortunately, had such a traumatic fit when she was a little one that it left her severely brain damaged.
Why am I telling you this?
Because the act of bettering yourself, growing a business, having more freedom or shit loads of pennies to play with is great – if that’s your thing. But ever since I was in my early teens, I realised that if I wanted to provide for Anna (and treat my parents for being fucking amazing – I mean, I really don’t know how they did and still stayed sane. Happily married, too), I was going to have to make money.
Quite a bit of it.
In fact, apart from a few material things, I don’t want for much. I got the watch that meant the world to me a little while back; I like to travel; I clearly like to eat. But outside of that, I’m a simple creature.
So an excess of money and material things was never the goal.
I wanted to make it clear that everything I have done, put myself through and sacrificed has been for Anna and my parents. They’re my ‘Why’.
Now, if this was a ‘normal’ book, lol – and I’m completely happy in my mid-thirties using lol – this would be the bit where I am supposed to evoke an emotional response so you get more buy-in with me, love me and my story. You know, the zero to hero sorta thing…
Fuck that.
Look, I had an awesome childhood. My parents were loving, and my si
ster – although she will never get to experience a fraction of what I do – is still a little shit!
She is my little sister, after all, eh?
So with that out of the way, you might be wondering why I am writing this book at all. I mean, I’m OK when it comes to education (failed my A-levels first time, had to go back and do them again), hardly the most handsome man on the planet – unless you like large, bear-like humans – and I spent the majority of my twenties doing pretty well in various careers. But you know what? I never felt in any way, shape or form fulfilled.
Every single Monday morning, I would be shattered as I’d been awake until stupid o’clock because I didn’t want to go to work.
I looked at the people with the freedom, the money, the lifestyle I wanted, and you know what? I fucking hated them.
I thought they had something special that I didn’t have, that Mummy and Daddy had given them a bastard trust fund, or they were simply lucky.
I was fed up with people saying I had a talent; that one day I would make it; I could be ‘somebody’. I felt that I was supposed to do something more with my life than sit in an office, slowly going insane, making someone else money while life slipped by me.
I didn’t want to wake up in my forties, fifties, sixties or seventies, look back on my life and go: ‘Ahhh, bollocks!’
So, at thirty-three, I said, ‘Fuck it!’
I had simply had enough.
I had spent the majority of my life making excuses for why I hadn’t achieved X or Y, instead of doing what I do now.
Look, I am in no way saying that I’m awesome (which is ironic considering it’s the title of the book. Told you this wasn’t going to be a normal book, eh?), but I am going to show you what it took for me to become ‘awesome’ in my own eyes.
Your awesome and my awesome may be totally different, and that’s A-OK. But the plan is, by the time you have read this, you will either hate me or be fired up enough to go and do something! Hopefully, the eleven lessons to come will show you – from what I have learned – what is needed to make it in this rather ridiculous world today.
And where am I right now? Ahhh, here is the bit where I give you the ‘ole social proof’. You know, where I show you a picture of my fancy life, or golden space yacht, or what have you.
Nope. That’s not how I roll.
But I will tell you this: back end of 2013 I had borrowed as much as I could and maxed out every single credit card I owned. I was doing monthly credit card shuffles just to pay the bills. Every day I had a choice to make: do I put fuel in the car or go to Tesco at 9.45pm and get what I can from the ‘no one wants this shit and it’s going off tomorrow’ section?
(If I ever see Tilapia or oats again, I think I will weep…)
Now, as of writing this, I have a fully automated fitness facility (I literally do nothing; it’s criminal), a very successful copywriting business, a digital agency launching, over 4,000 people in my Facebook group ‘Coffee With Dan’, hundreds in my membership site ‘Espresso With Dan’, thirty+ private clients all over the world, a stupid amount of speaking gigs lined up…
Oh, and I am just about to bring one of the world’s most loved entrepreneurs – Mr Gary Vaynerchuk – to London for a sell-out event.
And three years ago, having enough money to get a pizza was a struggle.
Makes you think, eh?
Equally when you read this I may be back in that field, selling my toenails to make ends meet. Who knows what life has in store, but I’ll tell you one thing: I would be the best toenail salesman. Ever. Times ten.
SO HOW DO YOU USE THIS BOOK?
Totally up to you. I used to get so overwhelmed by reading a whole book, it felt almost like I was back at school.
For that reason I have put this book in a ‘kinda’ order – an order which I think is most beneficial. But that’s my brain, not yours. I don’t want to overwhelm you with more info; I want you to take action. Get shit done.
I’m a simple creature by nature – and I’ve made this really simple. I call it my Be/Do approach. Each chapter sets out what you need to be in order to be fucking awesome. And it’s not what most people think.
It’s not having stuff, or even doing stuff. It’s much simpler than that. It’s making the fucking decision to do so. Decide to be awesome and everything will slot into place.
At the end of each chapter is what I believe you need to do to be awesome. This again is from my own experiences.
Be.
Do.
It really is that simple!
Here’s a tip – have a look at the chapters. See one that interests you? Go read that. Pressed for time or lazy as balls? Then go to the end of each chapter where you’ll get a summation as well as some things you can do.
If you get even one thing from this book that you can apply to your life, trust me, you have got your money’s worth. But only if you take action.
Do me a favour: don’t read this and get all fired up then do nothing. I mean it. That proper gets on my tits. Just commit to changing one thing at least after reading this book – even if it’s messaging me to say you hate it, at least it’s action!
Oh, and some chapters are long, some are short – just enough for you to use and implement. Put it this way: when there are lots of rules you are supposed to stick to when writing a book, I enjoy being a naughty little shit and doing things my own way!
I don’t believe in you wasting your time reading words for the sake of it, and I can’t be arsed to write them just for the sake of it. I decided to write this book in seven days. I wasted three of them twatting about online. I’m pushing the tolerance of human caffeine consumption to teach you this shit, so I hope you like it.
And if you don’t? That’s awesome too!
WHAT TYPE OF PERSON WILL GET THE MOST OUT OF THIS BOOK?
Do you feel ready to take your game to the next level? Maybe you feel like you have been at a standstill in life and business, or you’re simply bored shitless and want to give this ‘becoming awesome’ thing a go. Well why not push the button and see what happens?
As you may have noticed, I am a chap – and yes, as you have seen, I do use the odd swear word. This is me. When I used to try to be someone else or hide who I am, I was nowhere near as successful as I am now. But even though I am of the male persuasion, I couldn’t give two shits what is between your legs. All I care about is what is in between your ears, and what you do with that brilliant brain of yours!
Remember, my sister didn’t have that privilege. It’s a powerful fucker – don’t waste it.
WHO IS THIS BOOK NOT FOR?
Do you believe in asking the universe to fix your problem, manifesting, vibrations or any other hippy bollocks? Do one! Lol.
That sounds harsh – and weirdly I seem to attract quite a few people in this crowd, which may sound hugely contradictory considering the above statement. But if that’s what you believe in, more power to you! I massively respect people’s beliefs, and I hope in turn you respect mine. I have just seen too many people in this space (and they are lovely, kind, caring people as a rule) really struggle.
Seriously, though, if you do practise the above and it is working for you – don’t stop! If it’s giving you the life you want, that’s awesome and I want to take nothing away from that.
Me, though? I prefer action.
It’s pretty simple, my philosophy. It’s the core message of my groups, my businesses and my life in general.
1
BE SELFISH
To be successful you have to be selfish, or else you never achieve. And once you get to your highest level, then you have to be unselfish. Stay reachable. Stay in touch. Don’t isolate.
MICHAEL JORDAN
I wanted to kick off this book with a nice, controversial topic. If you know me, then you know I don’t do convention. I speak total brutal honesty. And so fuck it, I’m going to start with some brutal truths, one of which is that, if you ever want to get anywhere in life, you’ve gotta st
art getting a little selfish.
I’m sure this will annoy a few folks. And if that’s you, all I ask is that you read to the end of the chapter to let me explain why this is so important, and how you can apply it to your life without coming across as a complete prick.
What you’ll learn in this chapter probably outweighs everything else in the book, as it’s the first step to really owning your life. And the decisions you make.
You see, if there’s anything I have learned about truly successful and awesome people it’s that they were once selfish with their time. And some still are. In fact, it is that exact selfishness that got them to where they are today.
We’re told as kids not to be selfish. Which is total bollocks, in my opinion.
Why?
It’s gearing up our kids (well not mine, I don’t have any, but you know what I mean) to think about everyone but themselves. It shows them that it’s actually good to think about others and totally fucking ignore yourself, your dreams, your ambitions and your thinking.
It’s the industrial age thinking: do what you are told. Work for others all your life, follow orders, take your money and shut the fuck up. Spend your life doing other people’s shit and ignoring your own shit till some fucking end date (retirement) which you don’t even know you’ll reach.
And then you depart this world with no legacy of your own ’cause you were too busy living for others rather than making your own mark on this small planet of ours.
Not entirely a remarkable, awesome life, is it?
So read on and keep an open mind. Don’t worry, you can thank me later.
Now you may be footloose and fancy free. You may be married with kids. You could be like me and have a family member or friend you help support. You may – like my good friend, and she shall remain nameless – have said ‘No, thank you’ to human beings in order to collect all the cats.
Whatever your situation, but especially if you support someone else, I am going to ask you to do this:
Look after #1. That’s you.
Now I am not a parent (yet – er, I hope, anyway), but many people who I have coached, mentored and worked with over the years are. They believe they have to sacrifice everything for their offspring – much as my folks did. However, those who, even for a short period of time, focused on themselves first ended up being better partners, parents, friends – you name it.