She owed Ryan the truth. But once he found out, his feelings for her could rightfully revert. Just not because of the secret itself, but because he would discover that she had been dishonest with him from the beginning. He had been angry enough when he realized her father had manipulated him practically into marrying her. She could only imagine how he felt when he discovered that she too had been dishonest with him.
Chapter 15
She woke the following morning with barely any sleep and nowhere near to having made a decision. However, she relied on the fact that if Ryan had been able to overcome the ploy her father used to try to ensnare him as a potential husband for Evelina, maybe too, he could come to forgive her for her deception. After all, she had a good reason. Even if it was completely selfish on her part. Therefore, there was only one real answer. She would have to let Ryan decide. Confess the truth. And let the chips fall where they may.
When she thought she lost him at sea, she would have given anything for another chance to see him. To hold him tight, to tell him she loved him. To risk getting hurt. Yet, when he returned home to her unharmed and alive, her idiotic fears reared their ugly head once again. It was time she tried to gain control of them and not allow them to rule her life. That said the decision, in the end, wasn’t hers to make. She would place all her chips on Ryan and see if her gamble was worth the risk. For one thing, she was certain of was she did not want to go through life without him. Even if it that meant waiting dockside impatiently for his safe return home on a daily basis. The very act that had turned her world completely upside down and caused so much sorrow and pain ever since. But, God-willing, if Ryan decided to take a chance on her once learning the truth, she would give him whatever he wanted.
She pulled back the covers and reached over to the little cabinet next to her bed that served as a night table. Opening the bottom drawer, she stared inside to its content. She knew she had no choice. She had to tell him. He had a right to know before marrying her. Reaching out, she removed it and began getting dressed.
An hour later, she emerged from her room and went down the hall to seek out her father. She found him in the sitting room amongst her sisters.
“Would you kindly deliver me to St. Paul’s?”
Clive’s face spread into a great big smile before leaping to his feet. “Absolutely.”
Her sisters all became excited and scrambled to their feet gushing about getting her a proper wedding attire. Evelina ignored them as she had serious misgivings that any wedding would actually transpire once Ryan discovered her secret.
“I’m so happy you’ve changed your mind.” Clive clutched her shoulders and kissed her on the forehead. “I’m so proud of you, Evie.”
She nodded slightly but refrained from rejoicing with her father. His happiness could very well be short-lived. She didn’t want to burst his bout of joy just yet by telling him she was going to tell Ryan the truth before the wedding. She was sure he would try to talk her out of it.
But she loved Ryan too much not to be honest with him. After all, had he not been fooled into this entire mess by deceit in the first place? She needed him to know the truth as the risk of losing him forever.
“Let me fetch your mother and a coach then we shall be off.” He left her standing alone in the sitting room with her troubled thoughts.
As the coach pulled up in front of the church, Evelina began to tremble horribly. She had never faced anything more frightening. It took all her willpower not to demand her father turn the coach back around and take her home again. She was far outside her comfort zone.
Overhead the bells of the church struck the hour.
Noon.
Inside, Ryan was waiting for her. Possibly thinking she wasn’t coming. Perhaps would think she didn’t love him after all. Or worse, think she allowed her fears to overcome her once again.
But not today. No, today she would gamble it all on Ryan. She would face her greatest fear at the risk of being hurt far greater than she ever had been before. Even more than that horrible day twelve years ago. Nevertheless, she was willing to take the risk. Ryan was worth it.
As her father assisted her out of the coach, her family made their way down to the church by foot as it was only a couple blocks south of the Hepworth home.
Evelina noted all the happy excited faces and wished she shared in their joy. As it was, the unknown loomed before her. Ryan claimed to love her but exactly how much was about to be revealed.
Her hand trembled as she rested it in the crook of her father’s arm causing him to glance down at her and give her a reassuring pat. “Everything will be fine, Evie.”
She gave him a wobbly smile not nearly as confident as he, but that stemmed from the fact her father was unaware she intended to confess her secret before Ryan committed an act he might very well later regret once he found out the truth.
Thankfully, St. Paul’s entrance was ground level and possessed no steps allowing Evelina to enter the church on her own two feet—for now.
Once inside, she paused inside the narthex and took a deep unsteady breath. She glanced toward the altar but could only see a couple of feet inside the church along with a few rows of pews from her angle. Her sisters had already seated themselves while her mother stayed back long enough to fuss over Evelina’s attire before hurrying to join her other daughters.
“Are you ready?” Clive whispered with such pride.
Evelina glanced up at her father and desperately wanted to say no, to coward far away somewhere and not risk what she was about to risk.
Knowing what she had to do, she dropped her hand from the crook of her father’s elbow.
“I’ll take it from here.”
His beaming smile drooped. “What do you mean?”
“I’d like to go down alone.”
“Whatever for?”
“Please,” she exclaimed, terrified that if they stood there arguing much longer she would completely chicken out. “I’ll meet you at the altar.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Completely.”
“All right.” He gave her a long searching look before he finally left her standing alone.
She took a couple of steps to follow her father’s entry into the church but stopped just inside the entrance. Standing at the altar, Ryan turned and acknowledge her father. The relief on his face made her stomach do a sorrowful churn. He then glanced back up the aisle toward Evelina. The unadulterated love in his eyes nearly flattened her. He had never looked at her that way before. She caught her breath and let out a silent sob. She so desperately wanted it to be genuine and real but how could it be when Ryan was not in love with the real Evelina. The whole Evelina.
On unsteady legs, she moved slowly down the aisle until she reached the row of pews at the back of the church. Her siblings pivoted in their seats with glowing faces to watch Evelina make her way down the aisle. But that was when Evelina froze. Not certain if she had the strength to go through with it or not until she saw Ryan’s look of pure happiness dim slightly. A small crease formed in his forehead as he stared at her standing at the back of the church refusing to proceed.
She held his gaze for what felt like an eternity. Then sending him a final remorseful glance, she reached out with a nervous hand and clutched the back of the nearest pew. Refusing to take her eyes off his face, she reached down and lifted the hem of her skirts. She wavered slightly, terrified by what she was about to do, but knowing that if she stopped now she would never go through with it.
Sliding her hand beneath several layers of skirts and petticoats that helped to conceal what lied within; she reached under her chemise to just above her knee to where a leather strap circled her thigh. She hesitated for a split second reevaluating what she was about to do, then with false confidence proceeded to unlace the strings that secured the strap in place, all the while watching the growing confusion on Ryan’s face.
A small ripple of dismay rolled through the pews as her siblings exchanged alarmed glances. Th
ough she dare not take her gaze off Ryan, her peripheral vision noted her father to the left of him and could almost sense the tension overcoming his stance as he knew exactly what she was about to do. Yes, he would be anxious, Evelina thought. He knew her secret had scared off far too many suitors.
Untying the last string, she proceeded to remove the leather strap and pulled off the metal gadget attached to it. The contraption ran the length of her leg and chaffed her skin raw with every step she took. Hence, the reason why she moved slowly and deliberately in an attempt to try to ease the excruciating pain the artificial device caused just so she could walk. Not to mention to disguise her horrific disfigurement.
From under her skirts, she withdrew the apparatus that had substituted as her missing appendage for the past twelve years. The top portion of the brace secured to her leg while the bottom half resembled that of a human limb in the form of a wooden foot and acted as a replacement to the one missing just above her anklebone.
She would never forget that horrific morning that fateful day. She had been down there playing on the rocks, waiting for her father to come home from one of his endless voyages. She had wanted desperately to go with him. Begged and pleaded but girls were not allowed. He promised when he returned he would take her sailing out on the Lady Evelina. Just the two of them. She had been overcome with happiness and excitement. He couldn’t return home fast enough. She was anxious for his arrival and was down at the harbor daily. But his ship never came into port. Day after day, she waited. Her excitement grew less and less. Then the evening of the storm, she ran down to the docks praying he had returned safely. When he had not, she climbed the rocky bluffs in hopes of spotting his ship out in the stormy distance.
That was when she slipped and her foot fell between two wet crevices in the rain-soaked boulders. Her attempts to free herself went to no avail. Exhausted and trapped, she was forced to spend the night out in the storm. The next morning she was found nearly frozen to death. After her rescuers were unable to free her foot, the decision was made to cut her free. The excruciating memory of that day would stay with her forever. Equally the external pain as well as the internal pain. She refused to go outside shamed by her new disfigurement. When the children would stare or laugh at her, she refused to return to school. It was soon after when her self-inflicted isolation began. And ruled her life for the next twelve years.
Standing there in the church aisle, staring down at Ryan’s face as it slowly creased in horror, sent old emotions of the past to come rushing back. Her heart felt the first crack of heartbreak. Tears burned at the back of her eyes, threatening to burst forth, but she somehow managed to stay them. Instead, as if she had not humiliated herself enough, she dropped the prosthetic foot and attempted to make her way down the aisle on her stumped leg. She needed Ryan to see the real Evelina. To see the damaged, broken Evelina that she was. To realize exactly what type of bride he had gambled on.
Evelina took a step forward, but not surprisingly, did not get far. She wobbled then buckled before she even managed to take a step. It was the first time since the accident that she had tried to walk without the prosthetic. Angry, she attempted to lift herself off the floor again, clutching a pew for balance. She resented her mutilated leg and the misery it had brought into her life. Both then and now. For she was certain that with every pathetic step she made, she was losing Ryan. Nevertheless, he deserved to know the truth. Deserved to know that the woman he loved was a monster.
When she fell a second time, she could no longer bear to see the growing look of dread on Ryan’s face so collapsed within her billowed skirts and refused to get up again.
The church fell silent. Not even Evelina’s silent tears echoed off the stonewalls.
Then, “Evelina.”
She glanced up and found Ryan standing directly over her with such sadness clearly reflected in his eyes. Her heart cracked entirely then and her voice came out as a sob.
“I’m sorry.”
He sighed. “You should have told me.”
“I was afraid.”
He exhaled and shook his head. “It explains a lot.”
She choked back another sob at the pitiful look marred across his face. “I told you I was not the type of woman you could just leave behind.”
His brows dipped together. “How?”
She bit her bottom lip, trying to force the tears away. “It was the only way they were able to free me from the crevice that day.”
He cursed under his breath and released a sharp breath as if he felt the butcher of her younger self so many years ago.
“That wasn’t what I meant.”
“I know.”
She nodded in understanding though she really didn’t. She wouldn’t blame him in the least for being angry.
He exhaled wearily. “You must take me for some heel.”
“It’s all right—”
Then shocking her completely, he swept her up into his arms. “How could you think you’re the type of woman I could ever want to leave behind? I tried that and let me tell you, it didn’t work out so well. I’m never leaving your side again.”
Then with determination, he turned and walked down the aisle toward the altar with Evelina in his arms. “Proceed,” he ordered the minister.
“Ryan?”
“I told you, Evelina, I loved you faults and all. You’d have to come up with something a lot more horrifying than a severed foot, sweetheart.” He paused and searched deep into her eyes. “I’ve gotten rather used to carrying you around. I can’t think of a better way to spend the rest of my life than you in my arms.”
Evelina’s heart completed shattered at that point but not from a broken heart, but from the disbelief that he could truly love the whole Evelina. Broken pieces and all.
The Reverend interrupted her musings. “Do you Evelina Elizabeth Hepworth take this man, Ryan Joseph Colby, to be your lawful husband? To have and to hold from this day forward? As long as you both shall live?”
Ryan turned and arched a brow at her as if daring her to refuse him once again.
It was at that exact moment that she finally saw true love reflected in his eyes. There were no more secrets, lies, or wagers between them. She knew she had a long way to mend from what happened to her as a child, but with Ryan by her side, she suddenly felt she was able to face her fears and conquer her demons. Her heart began to pound vigorously then as the process of healing jumped started her pulse and breathed life back into Evelina.
A smile slowly formed on her lips as she stared up into the face of the man she loved, her eyes spewing her true emotions for the first time. From out of her shell, she emerged and entrusted her faith with this wonderful man. A warm corresponding spark lit within his as he smiled at her in return.
“I do,” she said with confidence.
That flame that had moments before flickered in Ryan’s face, now flared to life. Love oozed out of his eyes as he squeezed her just that much tighter.
“I now pronounce you man and wife.” The reverend proclaimed. “You may now kiss the bride.”
A wide jubilant grin spread across Ryan’s face and Evelina’s heart overflowed.
“With pleasure.”
And he proceeded to do just that.
Note from Author
Interested in reading a FREE prequel to the Colby Brother’s Series? Gypsy and the Sheriff is about what happens when a traveling gypsy and a no-nonsense sheriff meet when she starts peddling a love potion in Placid and causing a whole lot of trouble. Snag your copy of this sweet novella here.
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I truly hope you enjoyed reading Lady and the Gamble as much as I enjoyed writing it. The Colby brothers were based loosely on the Cartwright brothers from Bonanza. Ryan is the baby brother who, much like Little Joe Cartwright, was the headstrong, charming, handsome youngest son. An ironic interesting little tidbit, Michael Landon, the actor who played the part of Little Joe, directed his first episode on Bonanza called “The Gambler�
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If you would like to drop me an email about how you liked the book, you can do so at [email protected]. I’m also on social media sites listed on the following page if you’d like to keep updated on my books or join my reading list. As always, if you enjoyed the story and would like to leave a review on Amazon, it is always welcome and appreciated. You can do so by clicking on the link below.
Lady and the Gamble
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About the Author
Peggy Ann Craig is a writer of historical romances. She loves old fashion romances mingled with a touch of mystery. When she is not in front of her keyboard, she can be found behind her camera or hanging out with her barnyard critters.
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Other books by this author
Please visit Amazon to discover other books by Peggy Ann Craig:
On the Mountain
The Color of Ivy
Princess and the Ox
Lady and the Gamble
Lady and the Gamble: A Sweet Victorian Romance (The Colby Brothers Book 2) Page 20