“I love you, Juli. You have to know that.”
His words were raw with emotion and she stared at him, shocked to her core. She hadn’t. She knew he cared about her as a friend and that he was attracted to her, but somehow she had convinced herself things hadn’t progressed as far as love.
How stupid of her. She had been shortsighted and selfish and cruel.
Henry Cragun was not the sort of man who would kiss a woman he didn’t care for deeply.
“You...don’t,” she said feebly.
“Stop. I’ve been trying to tell you for months. Every time you let me close enough that I think you might be ready to hear it, a moment later, you shut me down. Why do you push me away, again and again?”
Because I’m broken.
She couldn’t tell him. The words clogged in her throat. She had to get out of here. Instead she was literally trapped in this truck with him.
“I can’t have this conversation with you right now. Not here. I need to get out.”
“Why? So you can run away again?”
“I wish I could run away.”
He stared at her, the truth of her words stark and unadorned between them. He drew in a sharp breath, then let it out slowly.
“Why? Just tell me that. Why are you running so hard? Obviously not literally right now, but you have been running figuratively from me for weeks.”
When she didn’t answer, when she couldn’t answer, he sighed heavily and climbed out of the vehicle to get her wheelchair.
He hardly touched her this time as he lowered her to the chair, then pushed her to the porch. She wanted to tell him she could do it herself but didn’t trust herself to speak without bursting into tears.
Sea Glass Cottage was usually her haven, the place to which she had escaped after Steve died, where she had begun to heal. Right now, it didn’t feel like a sanctuary as he pushed her up the ramp he had built to the porch.
Finally, she knew she had to say something. She owed him that, at least. “I’m sorry, Henry.”
“For what?” He looked stony, his expression harsh and distant.
“That we can’t be...more than friends. I’ve been trying to tell you. I value your friendship. So much. I don’t want to hurt you, but I don’t know how else to get it through your head that I...I can’t have a relationship with you.”
“Why? You still have not answered that.”
“I...I’m just not interested,” she lied. “Why can’t you just accept that?”
“Maybe because I don’t believe you. How can I, when you send out conflicting signals every time we’re together?”
He was right. How could she blame him for not knowing what she really wanted?
“I’m attracted to you. Any woman would be. But a purely physical relationship wouldn’t be enough for me. I don’t think it would be for you, either. There are a hundred women in town who would love to date you. If you want, I can set you up with some of my friends.”
It was exactly the wrong thing to say and she knew it before the words were even out. He glared at her, his expression finally revealing frustration and anger and hurt.
“You want to set me up with your friends.”
“I just don’t want you to be lonely, Henry.”
He shook his head. “I think you’re full of more chickenshit than your best fertilizer.”
She stared at him, shocked again that he would swear at her twice in a matter of moments when she had heard expletives from him so rarely over the years.
“Believe what you want. It doesn’t change the fact that my mind is made up.”
Here was the hard part, the bitter words she didn’t want to say but knew she must.
“I don’t want to hurt you, but I...I need to ask you to give me some space. I hoped we could stay friends, but we obviously can’t manage that between us now, without all this awkwardness and the...the expectations I can’t meet.”
In the darkness, she couldn’t completely see the expression in his eyes, but she could feel the shock and pain that seemed to radiate from him.
“Message received,” he finally said abruptly and started down the ramp. “I won’t bother you again.”
She couldn’t bear this. “Henry.”
He turned back and somehow the moonlight caught his features, stark and angry and sad.
She had destroyed her closest friendship. How would she ever go on without him?
What else could she have done? She couldn’t inflict her condition on him. Not when he had already been through so much.
“Goodbye, Juliet.”
He walked the rest of the way down the ramp, climbed into his pickup and drove away without another word, leaving devastation behind.
She didn’t know how long she sat there feeling numb with pain. It could have been a few moments or a few days before Olivia pushed open the front door and looked around.
“I thought I heard a vehicle out here. Was that Henry? Did he really just leave you here on the porch like an Amazon delivery? That’s not like him.”
“Maybe I wanted him to,” she snapped, but the words seemed to implode the dam that had been holding back all her feelings. They smashed through in a mad, terrible rush and she burst into raw, agonized tears.
27
OLIVIA
At first, Olivia was so shocked by her mother’s sobs that she did not know how to respond.
Juliet was not a crier. Oh, there may have been times over the years when her mother had lost control of her emotions, but Olivia could probably count the times she had seen her really weep on one hand, most of those after her father died and then again after Natalie’s death.
“Mom. What’s going on? What happened?”
Juliet looked up, her fine-boned features haunted. “Nothing. I’m fine.”
Really? Her mom was really going to play the I’m-fine card?
“You’re obviously not. You’re sitting on the porch and weeping. I can’t believe Henry would leave you out here and not take you into the house.”
“It doesn’t matter.” Juliet’s voice was listless, defeated. She sounded so unlike herself that Olivia began to worry even more.
“What happened? Did you and Henry have a fight?”
Juliet gave a humorless laugh. “A fight. I guess you could say that.”
She looked so very bleak, a few more tears trickling down her cheeks. For one cowardly moment, Olivia wanted to ignore the whole situation, to wheel her mother inside the house and help her transfer to bed. She did not want to know about her mother’s relationship with Henry. With any man.
The easier choice would be to simply leave Juliet to handle things in her own way.
She couldn’t do that. Her mother was obviously hurting. Olivia had to try to comfort her, if possible. Hadn’t she vowed to stop being a coward all the time?
She swallowed and uttered a silent prayer for courage. “Mom. Talk to me. What’s going on?”
Juliet made a hysterical-sounding sound. “Oh, nothing. I just completely ruined my friendship with Henry. That’s all.”
At that, her mother broke out into renewed sobs.
“I’m sure it’s not as bad as you fear,” she said, though of course she couldn’t be sure of any such thing. “You used to tell me there was nothing the Harper family couldn’t fix.”
Of course, that had been before her father died, before Natalie gave in to her drug addictions, before they both realized some wounds would never completely heal.
“I said a lot of stupid things to you, didn’t I?”
“I don’t remember those. Only the smart things,” she said gently.
“You wouldn’t say that if you could have heard me tonight.”
“What happened?” she asked. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Her mother buried her face in her hands. �
��I did what I had to do,” she said, her words muffled. “I broke things off with him. I...I ended our friendship.”
She wasn’t crying about a friendship. Or at least not only a friendship. This went much deeper than that.
“Why would you do that? Henry’s been a dear friend and support to you over the years. He and Lilianne both.”
“The man isn’t thinking straight. He gave me no choice.”
Olivia didn’t say anything, sensing her mother would tell her in her own way and her own time.
“He wants a relationship,” Juliet finally whispered. “He says he’s in love with me.”
Yeah. She really didn’t want to have this conversation with her mother. She knew her mother was a young and vibrant fifty-three, but she was still Olivia’s mom, and thinking of her having relationship troubles was just weird.
But Juliet was confiding in her, needing someone to turn to. Olivia couldn’t walk away from that.
“Why is that so terrible, Mom?” she began, choosing her words carefully. “It seems perfect to me. You and Henry have so much in common. You have both lost someone you love. You’re both in similar businesses. Caitlin and Jake are best friends. I’ll be honest—I don’t understand why this is stressing you so much.”
“Because it’s completely impossible! It’s ridiculous to even consider it. Look at the age difference between us!”
Olivia stared at her mother. “It can’t be more than a few years. Maybe five.”
“It’s eight!”
“Eight is nothing, especially at this stage of your life. No one will even notice.”
“I’ll notice. If he was eight years older than me, it wouldn’t matter. Nobody would say a thing. But in another dozen years, I’ll be an old woman while he’s still healthy and strong and energetic. I have a broken hip, for heaven’s sake!”
“That came as a result of you climbing a ladder at the business you own and operate. Very successfully, I might add. You’re not exactly a doddering old lady in a rocking chair.”
She had to be missing something here. Juliet seemed the last person who would be bothered by a few years’ difference in age.
“Is that the only reason you don’t want a relationship with Henry?” she asked carefully.
Juliet didn’t say anything, her breathing measured as she appeared to be trying to contain her emotions. Something told Olivia there was more to the story.
“Is this about Dad?” she guessed.
Juliet wiped her eyes. “I loved your dad with all my heart. He was a wonderful man. My first love.”
Olivia’s throat felt thick as she pictured her father and the adoring way he always treated Juliet, as if he was the luckiest man in the world to have her by his side.
“Yes. He was a wonderful man who wouldn’t want the woman he loved to spend her life unhappy and alone. You grieved a long time for him. Dad would be the first in line to tell you that you deserve a little happiness now.”
“I have been happy over the years, running the business, raising Cait, watching you grow into a strong, capable woman.”
Olivia didn’t feel very strong or capable at the moment, but she appreciated the sentiment coming from her mother.
“I don’t need a man in my life to make me happy,” Juliet went on firmly.
“I would agree with you in general terms. But when the idea of not having one particular man in your life, even as a friend, makes you this unhappy, maybe life is trying to send you a message.”
Juliet gazed at her, eyes stark and filled with pain.
“It’s impossible,” she whispered. “That’s all. I can’t go into all the reasons, but you just have to trust me.”
“I don’t think I’m the one you have to convince,” Olivia said.
Juliet let out another sob, then seemed to square her shoulders. “I told Henry we need to take a break from each other. He didn’t like it but he will honor my wishes. That’s the kind of man he is.”
While she might have wanted to argue with her mother, Olivia also knew Juliet could be stubborn.
She must have her reasons. Nothing she had said seemed compelling, but Olivia sensed there were things her mother wasn’t saying.
“Let’s get you inside. It’s chilly out here and you should be in bed. You’ll feel better after you’ve washed your face and changed into your pajamas,” she said, as gently as if Juliet were a child.
“I won’t be able to sleep.”
She had a feeling Juliet was far more exhausted than she wanted to admit. She opened the door and pushed the wheelchair over the threshold and into the house.
“Is Caitlin home? I don’t want her to see me like this. I’m such a mess.”
From Olivia’s perspective, Juliet looked as she always did, elegant, lovely, ageless, if a little red-eyed right now.
“She was in her room when I got home about an hour ago and hasn’t come out. She did her typical grunt when I knocked on the door and said she was fine.”
Now wasn’t the time to mention to Juliet her worry about her niece. Caitlin seemed troubled, but Juliet didn’t need another burden right now while she was dealing with her own problems.
28
OLIVIA
Over the years, she had become used to thinking of Cape Sanctuary as the place she couldn’t wait to leave, a place filled with sad memories of her father and of Natalie. Heartbreak, loss, resentment. All the tangled emotions of her youth.
Somehow, she hadn’t left enough room in her memories for the things she had loved about her hometown.
The things she still loved.
As Olivia walked into the fire station early the following Saturday, she couldn’t help but remember. This was a town where people cared about each other. The firefighters had removed all but one of their trucks from inside the station in preparation for the fund-raiser for Chief Gallegos. Instead of trucks, the fire station was now filled with row after row of long white tables and chairs.
An hour from now, those tables would be filled with families. Judging from the social media posts filling up the city’s feed, the entire town was planning to come out to support one of their own.
Cape Sanctuary was a tourist town. During some busy summer weekends, tourists could outnumber locals three to one. But when one of the locals needed help, everyone rallied around.
After her father died, people had been so kind and supportive. She could remember now how meals had filled their freezer, how neighbors would stop often to check on them, how they hadn’t had to mow the lawn at Sea Glass Cottage for at least a year because random neighborhood youths had stepped up to take care of it without being asked.
The town wasn’t perfect. It had its share of problems. Suicide, drugs, alcohol, divorce, domestic abuse. Any social problem could be found here. But there was goodness, too. In Cape Sanctuary, people came together to lift and help each other, regardless of demographics, religion, social status.
While she enjoyed the unique flavor and vibrancy of her neighborhood in Seattle and had made good friends there, Cape Sanctuary was home. It always would be.
Inside the modern-looking fire station, new since her father had been a volunteer here, Cooper seemed to be directing traffic. He appeared to be setting up a camp grill in the middle of a group of people in fire department T-shirts.
He appeared completely at home, a true leader in the middle of the craziness.
Was he as comfortable here as he appeared? Olivia had thought he would never come home again. His reasons to stay away were far stronger than her own. While Olivia’s family had always been beloved, supported by the community, Cooper’s home life had been very different. His mother, like Natalie, had been an addict. Olivia didn’t think she’d ever held down a job.
The family hadn’t been destitute. Cooper’s mother had family who helped them, including the aunt and uncle who had
taken in Melody for her last few years of high school.
Life could not have been easy for them. Had it been difficult for Cooper to come back to town? It must have been, yet he had done it for Melody and her boys.
As she watched him interact with his firefighters, warmth washed through her, sweet and healing.
It would be so easy to fall in love with him.
Olivia caught the direction of her thoughts and quickly pushed them away. She wasn’t going to think about that right now. She had a job to do and wasn’t here to gawk at the city’s sexy fire chief. She picked up her camera and started snapping pictures of the fire department setting up for the breakfast, of the big sign overhead that read WE LOVE YOU, GALLEGOS FAMILY, of the bags full of pancake mix, the bottles of syrup, the stacks and stacks of paper products.
While she was photographing the scene for social media, Rosemary Duncan spotted her and hurried over. “Isn’t this wonderful?” the mayor gushed. “I hope we knock it out of the park with the crowd.”
“I’m sure you will. It’s the perfect day for a pancake breakfast.”
After a week of steady rain following the night she and Cooper had taken the boys for pizza at the park, the sun had finally come out. The day promised to be bright and beautiful. At least the morning, anyway. The forecast called for more storms, but she had to hope they would hold off until later.
On a nice day like this, the garden center would be hopping with customers, but she knew the other employees could handle things in her absence.
Rosemary looked around. “I just have to tell you what an amazing job you’ve done helping us spread the word. I have been astonished over the past week how our traffic has increased across the board.”
“It helps that we have a good cause, one people want to get behind.”
“Don’t underestimate yourself. You seem to know exactly what to post and when. I’ve been so impressed. In fact, I’ve spoken with the city council about seeing if we can contract with you even after you return to Seattle.”
“I’m glad you’re happy. That’s what we like to hear at Harper Media.”
The Sea Glass Cottage Page 27