These last few weeks, she had opened her heart to him, had told him things about herself no one else knew.
If she had known he was Caitlin’s father, that he had once slept with her sister, would she have allowed herself to be so vulnerable with him?
Probably not, she admitted. She gripped the steering wheel.
How foolish she was not to learn from her past mistakes. She should have known it was all too good to be true.
“You really didn’t know.”
She shifted her gaze from the road to Caitlin and found her niece chewing her bottom lip, looking nervous and excited at the same time.
Caitlin was thrilled to be able to claim Cooper as her father. As she looked at the girl’s pink cheeks and bright eyes, so much like Natalie’s, Olivia was suddenly ashamed of herself.
None of this was about her. How selfish of her to put her own feelings first, to focus on how this bombshell would impact her life, instead of being happy for her niece that she had answered a vital question about her very existence.
Olivia’s growing feelings for Cooper and the heartache she could see coming were the least important factors in this equation, as were any feelings he might have in return.
Caitlin was at an age where she desperately needed a father. Olivia knew that from hard, painful experience. She could remember how she had ached for fatherly guidance during those hard teenage years and would have given anything for it.
His presence in Caitlin’s life now might make all the difference for her niece.
“I honestly didn’t have a clue.”
“I can show you the DNA results, if you want to see for yourself.”
Olivia shook her head. “I don’t need to see any DNA results to believe you. I know you wouldn’t lie about this. I would be happy to look at them, if it’s important to you. I’m sure your grandmother will, too.”
“Are you...pissed?” Caitlin asked when they were almost to the house.
She jerked to look at her. “Why would I be?”
Caitlin chewed her lip again. “You didn’t like my mom much. That’s what you wrote in your diary.”
That diary. She wanted to find it and burn it right now. “You don’t have a sibling, so you don’t know how...complicated that relationship can be,” she said, choosing her words with care. “I loved my sister. You have to know that. She was my hero for a long time.”
Her eyes burned, remembering how she used to follow Natalie around, reading the same books so they would have things to talk about, walking the way she did, using the same words to describe things. She had adored Nat, who had been beautiful physically but also funny and creative and kind to her annoying pest of a kid sister.
“And then she started to make choices that complicated everything for Juliet and me. I understand a little better now why she made some of those choices, but at the time, I didn’t have a clue. So, yes, I resented her. I was lost and grieving for my father and I suddenly felt like I was losing my sister, too.”
“And then you really did,” Caitlin said, her voice more subdued.
Olivia nodded, her heart pinched with sorrow, as she pulled into the driveway of Sea Glass Cottage. “I may have said in the journal that I hated Natalie but that was never true, any more than I thought you were a brat. I hated her choices but she was my sister to the end. She’s still my sister and I’m so very glad that the best parts of her live on in you. I love you. I hope you know that.”
She squeezed Caitlin’s hand and felt something inside her calm when Caitlin turned her hand over and gripped hers.
“I love you, too. But you’re wrong when you say I was never a brat. I’ve been worse than that since you came back to help Mimi. I’m really sorry.”
She hugged Caitlin, determined to work harder to keep a strong and healthy relationship with her niece, moving forward.
Poor Natalie. Her sister never had the chance to know the amazing girl she and Cooper had created.
The day had been a revelation and had given her so much more insight into her sister and the demons she had been fighting, first because of an assault that was never her fault and then the guilt she must have carried over Steve’s death. All the resentment she had carried over the years toward her sister, the anger and hurt, seemed a terrible waste of energy now.
She wished she had been more compassionate, more understanding. She wasn’t sure if it would have helped in the end. Nat’s choices were her own and couldn’t entirely be blamed on things that had happened to her.
It was too late to fix her relationship with her sister but not too late for her and Caitlin to create tighter bonds.
“I’m nervous to tell Mimi,” Caitlin said as they walked toward the house. “Do you think she’ll be mad?”
At the fear in her niece’s voice, Olivia stopped on the sidewalk and hugged her again. “Of course not, honey. I think mostly she’ll be sad that she didn’t have answers to give you about your father, so you had to go searching for them on your own.”
Outside the temporary ramp into the house, Caitlin held tight to the railing while a sea breeze rippled her hair. “I have to say one more thing to you before we go in.”
“Sure.”
“I’m sorry I was rude earlier, asking things that were none of my business. But I would like to know. Are you and my dad dating? It would be weird to have my aunt as my stepmom but...I’d be okay with it. Just so you know.”
She could only think it was a very good thing she wasn’t taking a drink of water at that because she would have spewed it all over her niece. Stepmom. Good grief. She and Cooper had only kissed a few times. Stepmom was jumping about a hundred steps ahead.
For one wild moment, she imagined it. A future with him, here in Cape Sanctuary. Building a life together by the sea, surrounded by friends and family.
Her heart pinched again at the sheer impossibility of dreams that were destined to remain only that.
“We’re...friends. That’s all.”
She wanted more. She wanted that future. When she was a girl, she had a terrible crush on him. Cooper had epitomized what she thought she wanted in a man when she was younger. He was cute, smart, kind to a gawky girl who didn’t know how to talk to guys but somehow never had a problem confiding in him.
Now that she was a woman and had connected with the grown-up version of Cooper, everything she had come to know only reinforced that he was exactly right for her.
“But he’s a nice guy, right? I would hate for my dad to be a jerk.”
That would be tough, to spend all this time looking for her father and have him turn into someone she didn’t want to know. Lucky for Caitlin, Cooper would be an amazing dad. She had seen him with his nephews and had no doubt.
“Your father is a man of character and strength. He’s loyal.He’s courageous. He’s protective. He’s kind. Also, he’s a lousy liar, but don’t tell him I told you that.”
Caitlin gave a nervous little laugh.
“You won the dad lottery, Cait. Any young woman would be lucky to have Cooper as her father.”
Some of her niece’s anxiousness seemed to ease and she smiled. “Thanks,” she said, just as he pulled up in front of the house.
After all these years apart, Cooper would always be in her life now, she realized somewhat grimly. She could go back to Seattle but she would never be able to escape him completely. They were bound by her niece. Through all of the important events of Caitlin’s life, she would have to see him. Graduations, weddings, baby blessings.
Somehow she was going to have to figure out a way to handle that without making a complete fool of herself.
JULIET
Rarely in her life had she ever found herself completely speechless. Usually she could manage something, even if it was only a long, drawn-out okay.
Right now as she gazed at her daughter, granddaughter and Cooper
Vance, Juliet couldn’t come up with a thing.
Otis seemed to sense her shock. He wriggled a little and nuzzled her hand. She petted him while she tried to process the stunning news.
Cooper Vance was Caitlin’s father.
How on earth had she not realized?
“Are you...sure?” It wasn’t much of a sentence but at least she had found a few words to string together.
Caitlin nodded. “Yes. That’s why I ran to my room when we first got home. I wanted to show you the results I printed out earlier.”
She thrust out a piece of paper. “See, right there. It says I share a significant portion of DNA with Melody Vance Baker, which indicates we’re close relatives. And there’s her picture in my connections. If Chief Vance had taken a DNA test, it would be even more conclusive.”
Cooper shifted, looking uncomfortable. “I believe her, Juliet. It was...always a possibility in my head, I suppose, but I believed Nat when she told me Caitlin wasn’t mine.”
How could she not have known the two of them had been together? They had never seemed romantically inclined toward each other.
Was this one more way she had been a completely oblivious mother?
He had said it had only been once, before he left town. Maybe that was why she had never picked up a shift in their relationship.
“No matter what she told me, I should have known,” Cooper said. “Or at least verified. I should have taken responsibility.”
He was uncomfortable because he didn’t know how to face her, the boy who had knocked up her daughter, she realized.
“I’m sorry, Juliet. I know what you must be thinking of me and there’s nothing I can say in my own defense.”
It was completely inappropriate, but for an instant, Juliet wanted to laugh. He hadn’t ruined her daughter’s life. If anything, Caitlin was the very best thing to come out of that tragic time.
As if she could ever think less of him, anyway. This was the boy who used to eat dinner at her table at least once or twice a week, who always helped wash up afterward.
Who had risked his own life to save Steve’s.
“The hard truth is, I’ve been a deadbeat dad all these years without knowing it, leaving you to bear all the responsibility for raising my child. On the way here, I was thinking I have some savings. Some stocks and things. I need to pay you back child support or something for all the years I should have been here taking care of Caitlin.”
Her words suddenly came back to her in a rush. “You will do nothing of the kind,” she exclaimed.
“I have to do something. A man takes care of his responsibilities.”
He was always such a stubborn boy, always determined to do the right thing.
Oh, Natalie. How could you do this to your dearest friend?
“You didn’t know you had a responsibility because my daughter told you that you didn’t. You believed her. We all believed her. If you had any inkling, I’m certain you would have been here.”
He was a victim, too, denied the joy of being a father for fifteen years, she realized suddenly. Why hadn’t Natalie told him the truth? She thought she might suspect the reason. Cooper had been on the cusp of starting his life away from Cape Sanctuary, something at the time he had desperately needed.
By joining the military, Cooper was trying to escape the hard family life he’d had here. Would he have gone on to become a special forces pararescue specialist, as he had dreamed? Doubtful. He would have stayed here to take care of his child.
Natalie had loved him, had known what he needed maybe even more than Cooper had. Perhaps she hadn’t wanted to give him one more responsibility, when he had spent his entire childhood caring for his mother and his baby sister.
Or maybe, knowing now what kind of life Natalie was living by then, the drugs and the partying, it was possible her daughter genuinely hadn’t known who had fathered her baby.
Juliet petted the sweet little dog, her heart aching with sorrow for all of them.
“I shouldn’t have accepted what she told me,” Cooper said again. “I have no excuse, really. But now that I know, I intend to step up. If it’s all right with you, I would like to start building a relationship with Caitlin.”
“Naturally. Of course you will. I would have been disappointed in you if you had said otherwise.”
Caitlin look thrilled, which made Juliet’s heart ache all over again. She had known her granddaughter wanted a father. That was natural. Juliet should have realized how much Caitlin had needed a father. The longing in her eyes as she looked at Cooper was raw, vulnerable, nervous, as if she were afraid to hope.
“Caitlin is fifteen. She’ll be sixteen in September. She’s old enough to decide how much or how little she wants you involved in her life.”
“Agreed,” he said, looking relieved.
“Much,” Caitlin said in a small voice that made Juliet want to hug her.
“You’re part of this family now,” Juliet told him sternly. “That means I expect you for Sunday dinners when you can make it, an invitation that will of course include your sister and her boys.”
He nodded, looking overwhelmed and, she thought, touched. He had always been such a sweet boy, so grateful to be welcomed into their home.
She didn’t like to think ill of the dead but his and Melody’s mother had been a weak, selfish woman who had given little love and no structure to her children. That he had turned out to be such a good man was a testament to his own strength of character.
“Thank you, but I’m willing to take a rain check on the invitation for now. I’m afraid you won’t be up to cooking one of your big Sunday dinners for some time yet.”
“I’m stronger every day,” she said. How long that would last, she didn’t know, but at least if her MS took a sharp downward turn, she would find comfort in knowing Caitlin would have a father and a new aunt Melody to watch over her, along with Olivia.
“Anyway, Olivia can help me.”
“I would love to,” Olivia said, “but I’ll be going back to Seattle soon.”
“Not that soon.”
Olivia forced a smile that Juliet realized was not genuine. How did she feel about this new revelation? There had been a few times within the past two weeks when she had wondered if there was something going on between Cooper and Olivia. She had hoped so, anyway. How would knowing Cooper was Caitlin’s father impact Olivia?
“You’re doing well,” Olivia said. “Better than the doctors expected. If your plan is still to return to the garden center part-time this week, there’s no need for me to stay longer. Especially now that you have Melody to help you at work.”
Olivia didn’t look up after she spoke. If she had, she might have seen that Cooper and Caitlin both wore matching expressions of dismay at the news.
“I can help you, Mimi,” Caitlin said. “With the cooking or the garden center or whatever you need.”
Though Caitlin still looked upset about Olivia leaving, overall Juliet thought there was a lightness about her she hadn’t seen in weeks.
“Thank you, honey.”
Cooper rose. “Speaking of Melody, I should go tell her the news that she has a new niece and that her boys’ babysitter all these years has really been their cousin.”
“That’s right! I have new cousins! How cool is that?” Caitlin looked both astonished and pleased.
He reached down to kiss Juliet on the cheek. She wrapped her arms around him and held him close. “If I could have chosen anyone in Natalie’s life to be my granddaughter’s father, you would have been at the top of the list,” she said quietly.
They were words she had to say, for his sake as much as her own.
He looked humbled and she thought she saw suspicious moisture in his eyes. “Thank you for saying that.”
“It’s the truth. You’ve always felt a little like a son to me. Now you tru
ly are.”
He gave her a ragged-looking smile, hugged her again, then turned to hug Caitlin, too.
“I’ll see you later, Chief Vance.”
“You can call me Cooper for now,” he said.
“Okay. Bye, Cooper.”
And then he turned to Olivia and the stark emotion in his eyes totally stunned Juliet.
There was definitely something between the two of them.
“Can you walk me out?” he asked her.
Olivia looked as if she wanted to say no. After a moment, she nodded and followed him, but not before Juliet, looking closely, saw the misery in her eyes, too.
Olivia was in love with Cooper.
And she was running away, going back to Seattle.
Juliet didn’t have time to dwell on that or what she could do. The instant the door closed behind them, Caitlin rushed to her and wrapped her arms around her.
“Are you mad, Mimi?”
“Mad? Why would I be mad?”
“Because I went looking for my dad. I don’t want you to think...to think you weren’t enough for me. It wasn’t that. I love you so much.”
“Oh, honey. Of course I’m not mad! I completely understand that you wanted answers. I’m only sorry I didn’t have them for you.”
Caitlin laughed. “That’s exactly what Olivia said you’d say.”
“She’s pretty smart, that aunt of yours.”
Juliet could only hope she was smart enough not to walk away from a good man like Cooper Vance.
33
OLIVIA
As she followed Cooper to the front porch of Sea Glass Cottage, she saw that, as predicted, the afternoon had turned stormy, with dark, ominous clouds on the horizon.
“Hell of a day.” He stopped at the railing and looked up at the sky, but she knew he wasn’t talking about the weather.
“I believe that’s the understatement of the century.”
She still couldn’t seem to process everything that had happened, from finding out Natalie had set the fire that killed their father to this latest shocking news about Caitlin.
The Sea Glass Cottage Page 31